Chapter 51
Roni
Depression and anxiety made me their bitch for a few days, and I haven’t been online.
I had a night terror that wouldn’t relent, even when Phoenix shook me awake.
All I could see was him. The masked man who violated me.
In every corner of our bedroom. I lashed out at Phoenix in defense, thinking he was trying to rape me.
Then I felt like the scum of the earth for not knowing it was him trying to soothe me. I was a fucking wreck.
I bring up the chat window and feign drama.
@Unhinged: I have a bone to pick with you, Simon.
We’ve only had a handful of interactions, and still, there’s something, 20,000 somethings, which has me feeling an attachment different from the rest of my followers.
BING!
He must be online, because his reply comes through in no time.
@SIMPleSimon: Hey there, baby girl.
I grin.
@Unhinged: Hi.
Offering more than a one word answer would give me away.
@SIMPleSimon: I think we both know I gave you more than enough reasons to put the bratty act aside.
I can’t even react before another message pops in.
@SIMPleSimon: I loved that video. It was so…
@SIMPleSimon: Above and beyond what I ever expected.
I blink at the screen while I come up with something clever.
@Unhinged: Well, I’m glad you liked it. It left me feeling rather FULL myself. Satisfied, if you will.
@SIMPleSimon:
His next message hangs there in silence. I wait, expecting him to follow up, perhaps offering something explaining what he’s thinking, but of course, he doesn’t.
@Unhinged: You have my attention.
I watch the arrows spin as he composes a reply. Finally, a BING notifies me.
@SIMPleSimon: I know what I’d like to do next. But also, I’d love to hear more about you.
The audacity of this man, trying to get around our agreement. Again. He must think I don't remember. Well, fuck-o...
@Unhinged: I don't think so, mister. It's your turn to do the sharing. Remember? This time you're supposed to tell me something?
@SIMPleSimon:
@SIMPleSimon: You're right.
@Unhinged: Of course, I am.
@SIMPleSimon: I like to toy with people.
The message reads, plain and dry. Of course he does.
@Unhinged: All men do, Simon. What makes you any different?
@SIMPleSimon: I like to be able to pull the strings. I take pleasure in getting others to do my bidding. Often in extremely uncomfortable circumstances. Which ties directly to what I'm thinking we could do next, my dear.
He's too smart to think this counts for anything. Unless he thinks his money will make me back off. But it won’t.
@Unhinged: I still don't think that's enough. Telling me the things you want to do to me, or that you want me to do to myself, or that you want us to experience together, is not the same as sharing about yourself.
@Unhinged: Tell me something real.
The arrows spin and spin and spin. They stop and disappear. Then spin and spin some more.
@Unhinged: SIMON!
@SIMPleSimon: You're right. Again, it's only fair.
Yes, and yes. I nod to myself, waiting for him to follow through.
@Unhinged: And?
An age passes before my chat window is flooded by a single message.
@SIMPleSimon: Growing up, I had almost nothing.
I was the youngest of many, and I always felt like an afterthought.
I always was an afterthought. By the time hand-me-downs made their way to me, they were trash.
I never had a say. I never got to make decisions.
I never got to do what I wanted. This is where I assume my desire, my love for manipulating people, comes from.
@SIMPleSimon: I barely even remember my father.
And my mother was a nobody. She made her money however she could.
I won't begrudge her that. But I was left without an example.
I had to figure things out for myself. Nobody has ever wanted to hear it.
To listen. To understand. So, I struggle sharing things about me. I struggle letting people in.
Ugh. Fuck my life. Of course he’s a traumatized puppy. They always fucking are.
@Unhinged: Thank you, Simon. I appreciate you sharing. I'm sorry that was your experience. But I'm here. I care about you.
@Unhinged: Tell me about this idea of yours.
@SIMPleSimon: Do you want to play a game?
@Unhinged: Depends. What kind of game?
@SIMPleSimon: Did you ever play Simon Says growing up?
When I was in middle school, the ‘pretty’ girls loved to play stupid games where the loser got slapped.
‘Simon Says’ was a favorite. And they were all in on it.
Convincing me it would be different. They wanted to include me.
I’d lost enough weight and was one of them.
And every time, they’d trick me, and when I lost, they’d hold me down and slap my fat stomach until it was nearly purple.
@Unhinged: I sure did.
@SIMPleSimon: Let’s plan an adult version. With your consent, of course.
@SIMPleSimon: I'll provide you with the key command words, “Simon says,” followed by an action I'd like you to perform.
@SIMPleSimon: You play along and do as I say, for a price.
@SIMPleSimon: For each task you complete, there will be a small tip, with the amount increasing over time.
@SIMPleSimon: This could lead to a significant payoff by the end.
@SIMPleSimon: You are free to say no. To stop at any time. Or use a safe word of your choice. If you do, the game will stop, and you can resume your life as it was before we met.
Is he saying if I choose to start, I can never stop, unless I’m willing to lose him as a follower? Seems harsh, but I’m sure he has his reasons.
@Unhinged: You really are something else, Simon. The idea excites me.
@Unhinged: What do I need to prepare for, or what should I have on hand to play this game?
I grab my bottle of water, unscrew the lid, and take several deep swigs. My thirst needs to be quenched, both figuratively and literally. A moment passes before the next response arrives.
@SIMPleSimon: There are no limits. But at the start of any session, I will ask you to locate various items. For now, if you’re willing, let's plan to have our first session the next time we meet.
@Unhinged: That’s sounds reasonable. Too good to be true, perhaps. But reasonable.
@SIMPleSimon: In the meantime, gather some items from around the house that might be useful.
@SIMPleSimon: Look for things like a broom or a broomstick. Items in your refrigerator like a cucumber or a wine bottle. Anything with the right shape that can be used to mimic a dick.
@SIMPleSimon: Check if your husband has tools or similar items lying around or locked up somewhere.
@SIMPleSimon: Generally, I'll send you on a mission to find specific items for each session.
@SIMPleSimon: These could include a basic dildo, an interactive vibrator, an anal plug, a ball gag, clamps, cuffs, chains, or collars.
@SIMPleSimon: You'll never know which ones we'll use. It could be any, all, or none of them. That's the fun of the game. When the time comes, you'll only do the things I specifically say.
@SIMPleSimon: Use your imagination when picking two to three items from around the house for our first session.
And then I see he's logged off. Heat rises from my core up to my chest and neck. I don't fully grasp what I've just agreed to, but my panties are soaked thinking about it.