4. Charisse
Charisse
“ Y ou—what?” Dominic looks stupefied. With one arm braced against a palm tree, he scratches his temple and lets out a disbelieving puff of breath. “Sorry. I thought I heard you say you want me to help you make a baby.”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I said.” I bite my lip again, thinking how stupid it was for me to blurt it out here, both of us standing immobile in front of the blinking Open Late! neon sign of the corner ice cream parlor.
“But why ?”
“Why, what? Why do I want a baby? Why am I asking you? Why now?”
“Yes, that. All of that.” He waves as if trying to encompass all the questions even as his brows snap together, and his mouth thins into a firm line.
I clutch my jacket closer over my shoulders, warding off the cool breeze of the Pacific. “Can we walk and talk? You only live a couple blocks away, and I already dropped my stuff off there earlier. Used the key you gave me.”
“Yeah, of course.” He falls into step beside me as we walk up the sand-dusted path to the boardwalk and turn away from the kitschy independent shops to walk along the beachfront condos.
As we do, I cast a sidelong glance at him. His handsome profile is caught in shadow and moonlight, and with the sonorous rolling waves behind him, all I can think is this is the one person in my life that I’ve ever felt totally comfortable with. It feels right to speak my truths to him, to open up about my hopes and dreams and fears. There isn’t anyone else on the planet—my family included—who would accept my unconventional choice without question or judgment.
“Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve had a pretty crap track record with relationships.”
He shoots me a look. “From my perspective, you’ve had a solid track of long-term relationships.”
“That’s fair.” I scuff my shoes against the cement and redirect my gaze forward, feeling the breeze flow through my hair. “But none of them have ever felt right. As much as I hate to say it, they were mostly convenient. They always fit the bill of the kind of person my parents wanted me to be with. Smart, successful, steady.”
“Boring.” Dominic’s voice is flat, factual.
“There is that.” My lips twitch and I twist my fingers together, trying to figure out how to word this exactly. “But maybe their path—the first comes love, then comes marriage—maybe it’s not my path, you know? I’ll be thirty-four this year, Dominic. By the time they were my age, they were married and had two kids. What have I done?”
“Let’s see…” Dominic raises a finger and counts as he speaks, “You’ve traveled the world with an international pop star. You’ve recorded and released your own indie record. You’ve won accolades and awards, auditioned for competitive talent shows and won a few. You’ve written, arranged, and performed your own music and songs all over the country—I’ve seen you! And above all, you never once compromised who you are to get ahead. You’ve fucking lived , Charisse. You’re living the dream—like I am.”
“The dream isn’t complete,” I say firmly, swallowing down the lump in my throat as I turn onto the path that will lead me to Dominic’s house. “No one will benefit from all my hard work, Dom. I’m on the road, alone. I come home, alone. Every day I’m not working, I’m… alone.”
“Sounds familiar. I’m the same.”
I shoot him a get real look. “I keep tabs on you all year long. I know you’re not alone most nights.”
“Think you’d be surprised. I’m alone more often than people think I am. Not all the stories of my escapades are true. Truth is, there hasn’t been anyone in a while.” His voice drops and he tucks his hands into his pockets.
That surprises me some, but I draw a breath and decide to speak my fears aloud. “Thing is, if I keep going the way I have been, I’m just going to end up dying alone.”
“Nope.” Dominic shakes his head emphatically as he opens the gate and leads me onto the patio. “You’ll never be alone because you’ll always have me.”
“I want to be a mother, Dominic. I want the joy and the challenge and full heart and belly laughs that only a child can bring. And I can’t wait for a relationship to come around and feel right anymore.”
We step through the gate that’s blocking off his patio and come to a stop at the sliding glass door. In the shadows, he’s close enough for me to touch. With some trepidation mixed in with a tendril of wild want swirling through me, I lay my hands flat on his chest and smooth the nonexistent creases in his shirt. Beneath my fingertips, I feel his heart hammering, and I wonder if he’ll kiss me again.
Hard, hungry, like he had done on stage.
My stomach twists. Would it be like that still? Or would we fumble awkwardly, our friendship playing in our minds?
“This is what feels right. Making my own family, making my own way. And as my oldest friend who’s always stood by me, always supported me, you’re the only person I could ever come to ask for help with something this important.”
He braces his arms on either side of me. I’m caged in under his intense, burning stare, and I can’t read his expression. Not when it’s half shrouded in darkness.
“Why me, Reece?”
I swallow hard. How much of the truth can I give him without confessing to a stupid schoolgirl crush that’s never fully left me?
“There isn’t a soul on this planet I trust more. There isn’t a kinder, sweeter, stronger person in my life that I can approach with this and not be ratted out to my family or ridiculed right out the door. There’s only you.” I touch his cheek. “You’re the only one who’s never laughed at my ambitions, who’s always told me that I can make my dream life come true. So, please, Dom. Help me.”
He undoes the lock on the patio’s glass sliding door and holds back the curtain for me to walk through. “What exactly are you asking me to do? Go to a clinic? Spill my seed into a cup?”
“The clinical route is too expensive and not very timely.” As soon as the slight click of the door lock sounds, he flicks a switch. Ambient lighting scatters around his dark, handsomely decorated living room, basking everything in a low, warm glow.
I shrug off my jacket and spin to face him. Gathering up every ounce of courage I have within me—the same strength that pushes me to bare my heart and soul on stage every night—I peel my shirt off and undo the button on my jeans. “I think we ought to do things the old-fashioned way. The sooner, the better.”
“Reece.” He scrubs at his face, and I can see a thick, heavy bulge press against his pants.
So, that on-stage situation hadn’t been a coincidence.
My throat constricts even as the space between my legs grows slick with heat. All these years between us and I’ve tried hard not to notice how blessed Dominic is down south. But there’s no ignoring it now.
I want to know what it looks like. How it feels in my hands. Which way it curves or leans.
Swallowing hard, I kick off my boots and slide my jeans down my thighs. His pupils loom large as he watches my every move. “You want me to spell it out, Davies?”
I know what kind of picture I make standing before him in boy shorts-style underwear and a simple black push-up bra. I’m not anything like the women I’ve seen photographed with him throughout the years, certainly nothing like any of the men he’s rumored to have been with either—not with my generous curves, soft belly, and unbranded underwear.
Would it be enough to tempt him? Would I be enough?
“Yes.” His voice is a low, hot hiss. “You know what they say. You don’t ask, you don’t get.”
I take a deep breath and retrieve a folded-up page from the back pocket of my jeans. “I don’t want you to spill your seed in a stupid cup. I need you to spill your seed inside me . Fill me up. Over and over and over again until I swell with our child.”
He takes a step toward me. Another. And I swear to God that he looks about ready to pounce on me, and my pussy pulses, aching with a need I can’t remember having felt before.
“How long do we keep this up?”
“As long as it takes. A month. A year. Whatever.” I shrug. “I’ll keep track of each, uh, coupling and my cycle is every twenty- eight days. I’ll know when we’ve been successful. I’d prefer if we stayed sexually exclusive, but--”
“There won’t be anyone else.” He’s close enough now that I can smell the soap on his skin, the beer on his breath. With a gentleness that could break me, he sweeps my hair from my shoulder and trails a single finger over the slope of my shoulder, pushing my bra strap down. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes. This is what I want. This will make me happy.”
His eyes don’t leave mine. “I want nothing except your happiness, Reece. If this is what will do it…”
“It will,” I say, unfolding the contract I’d drawn up with shaky fingers. “I’m in my fertile window right now, and I’ll happily do whatever you want me to do to make sure you enjoy it. I’ll never ask you for anything ever again. Not a dime, not a favor, nothing. You’ll never even have to babysit. Just give me this one thing.”
His gaze flickers darkly to the page, and a scowl comes over his face as he scans it. Then he tears the sheet up, and my heart sinks. My fingers reach for my clothes, but Dominic grabs hold of my waist and yanks me to him.
I gasp, eyes wide as his heated gaze rakes over me.
My body is engulfed by desire as his erection digs into my hip and his fingertips skim over the curve of my pushed-up breast.
“Let’s get a few things straight. If you want me to fuck you, trust me when I say we’re both going to enjoy it. And if you’re going to have my baby, Charisse, you can bet your cute little ass,”—he grabs a handful of my backside and a shameful, throaty moan tumbles out of me—“I’m not willing to let you do it alone. If we do this, we do this together. At the very least, we co-parent.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Dominic leans in, pressing hot, wet kisses along my jawline. “I do.”
“But your schedule, your life…” I tilt my head, allowing him access to the column of my throat. My voice trails off on a gasp when his fingers dip into the cup of my bra and sweep across one tight, puckered nipple. This is my best friend, the boy who lived next door, who ate dinner at my house on nights his mom worked.
He’s grown into a man whose touch I’ve secretly dreamed about.
“I will not abandon you or any child of mine.” He pulls back, pinning me with a heavy, meaningful look. “I refuse to be anything like my father.”
Shit .
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t. Now, shut up and kiss me, Reece, before I cum in my goddamn pants.”
My gaze snaps to his, and in the smoldering heat between us, I can’t deny that his commanding tone does something funny to me. Heat pulses in my core and ripples in my veins. Impulsively, I fist my hands in his shirt and yank him down to me. I crash my mouth to his and wind an arm around his neck.
Pure lust and raw hunger spark inside me as I jump up and wrap my thighs around his waist. His big hands support my weight, skimming the edging of my panties as his tongue slides along mine, and I moan into his kiss.
Why has it never been like this before? Why haven’t I ever burned for anyone else the way my body burns for Dominic?
He carries me across the room and settles me onto his sumptuous sofa. With the twist of one hand, he unhooks my bra and tears it from my body. Then he whips his own shirt off. He’s built like a god, lean and carved in all the right places, and it makes me slightly self-conscious about my softness, my curves that fold into rolls. I bite down on my lip, hands moving to cover up.
“Don’t,” he commands, undoing his belt and stripping out of his pants. “Don’t hide that gorgeous body from me, Reece. Not when I’ve waited a fucking lifetime to see it. I’m going to touch every part of you, taste every inch of you. Tonight, and any night you’ll have me, I swear to God I will savor your every curve and worship your cunt the way you deserve.”
His filthy words send warmth flooding my panties, and my gaze locks onto the veins running up his thick shaft, right to his pierced tip and the gleaming bead of moisture topping him.
“Oh,” I breathe, my hand reaching out to trace his length.
His eyelids grow heavy as he watches me, and he sucks in a breath when I touch him. Fascinated by the fancy jewelry, I tighten my hold and slide my hand over him, relishing in his girth and feel. When he groans, power surges within me, and I lean forward to swipe my tongue over the glistening bead.
“Dom, you’re so beautiful.”
“Pretty sure that’s my line, sweetheart.” Dominic falls to his knees before me and grips my hips. He tugs the fabric of my panties down and trails his fingers over my thighs and calves. In a voice barely above a reverent whisper, he says, “Now let me see you. All of you.”
I swallow hard when I’m bare before him, legs splayed wide. I feel more exposed and vulnerable than I ever have in my life. No one has looked at me the way he’s looking at me right now. Like he’s a starving man who’s been seated at the head of an all-you-can-eat buffet.
“You don’t have to—”
“Yes, I fucking do.”
“It’s just that no one’s—that is, I can’t… It doesn’t work. Mine doesn’t work like that.”
He goes still. An unreadable look crosses over his handsome features and I’m about to cover my face in frustration. I’m ruining it.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you don’t have to worry about making me feel good, Dom. Like I said, I’ve never come with a partner before.”
“I want to make you feel good, Reece. You deserve to feel damn good.” He slides a rough finger over my slit, and I squirm under his touch. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.”
“Are you willing to let me try?”
“If that’s what you want. But it’s a wa—”
“Shh.” He leans in, drugging me with a sensual kiss and a slow stroke between my thighs. “Tonight, you’re giving yourself to me. You’re trusting me. And this pretty little pussy is the best birthday present I’ve ever been given in my life. Let me play with it, Reece. Let me taste it. Let me take care of you before I plant a baby in your gorgeous belly.”