CHAPTER 14
Claire
“You really don’t have to stay here all day, Claire.” Nora replaced the cover on her untouched hospital meal and pushed it away. “It’s a beautiful day. Go take advantage. Get some sunshine; go shopping or something.”
Claire didn’t feel like going shopping. Her mother was back in the hospital this week for a round of intensive chemo, and she planned to spend as much time as she could with her. She didn’t want to think of how much longer she would have with Mom. This treatment had to work.
It had to.
Her mother had refused just about everything she’d offered, except for the Five Guys meal. After the picnic, she’d brought back a burger and a shake, and Mom had eaten every bite, to Claire’s relief. According to Jake, that was a nutritional nightmare, but if she ate it, Claire didn’t care.
Ian hadn’t texted or called since, although she’d given him her number. She wondered if she’d scared him off with her aggression. Several times over the past week, she’d been tempted to text or call him, but something had stopped her.
“Stop worrying.” Her mother stroked her arm. “You’ll get forehead wrinkles.”
Claire forced herself to smile. Mom had been saying that to her since she was ten.
“Jake should be in here any minute. He promised to stop by this afternoon.” Nora studied her intently. “You never told me how Friday night went.”
“He was very nice.”
One corner of Nora’s mouth turned down. “Nice isn’t what you want in bed.”
“Mom!”
“Come, now, we’re both adults. You know, you look back on how you raised your children and inevitably have some regrets.”
“Don’t. You did a stellar job.”
“I couldn’t hold on to your father. And I didn’t find a good stepdad for you.”
“I didn’t need one. You covered it all pretty well.”
“One of my regrets is not spending more time with you. Not talking to you more about … things.”
“What things?”
“Things that will make a couple happy.”
“Such as?”
“Sex.”
Claire’s eyes widened.
“Your father and I—”
“Mom, please, please don’t. I don’t need to hear this, really.”
“I think you do need to hear this. There are things I never told you, and lately, I kick myself daily for that.”
“Why?”
“Because I think I could have spared you some of the heartache you’ve been through.
I never interfered because I didn’t believe in hovering.
I wanted you to make your own choices and learn from your mistakes.
Now, I’m thinking I should have said something, especially about that third attorney.
You never told me what he did to cause the breakup, but I can guess. ”
“Maybe I caused the breakup.”
“Claire Bear. I know it wasn’t you, sweetheart. You don’t have a dishonest bone in your body.”
Her mother hadn’t called her that since first grade. Claire blinked against the sudden sting in her eyes. What would she say if she knew Claire was dating two men and had agreed to sleep with one of them?
“When we marry, we marry a stranger. What you see is not always what you get, and it takes time to see the real person behind the facade they put on in the beginning. Choose carefully, Claire. Pay attention if you see things that put you off. People don’t change.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that what happened with your father was partly my failure to really look at him and see him for what he was.
I saw what I wanted to see. And that cost both you and me dearly.
” Her smile was wobbly. “I have many regrets about him, but he gave me you. I thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on, and you are his carbon copy, right down to your toes.
” She chuckled. “The man even had nice-looking feet.”
“I always wondered why that never bothered you.”
“How could it? Out of all that, I came away with the most precious gift. His beauty, in the form of the best daughter I could ever hope to have.”
“Stop it. You’ll make me ugly cry.”
“Oh, no, we don’t want that.” She patted Claire’s hand. “All right. Let’s move on to the good stuff. The sex talk.”
Claire groaned through half-laughter, half-tears. “Do we have to?”
“Yes. This is important.” She took a deep breath.
“Your body is something to be cherished and enjoyed, not just a prize to be won. Sharing and experiencing pleasure together is a beautiful and affirming aspect of a relationship, and denying yourself that means missing out on one of life’s most fulfilling experiences.
” She paused and looked Claire in the eye.
“Take your pleasure; give him his. Embarrassment and shame have no place in the bedroom.”
Oh, if you only knew about Ian in Las Vegas.
Claire blushed in spite of herself.
“One last thing: never use sex as a weapon.”
Claire’s brows rose. “You don’t have to tell me this.”
“But I do. I well knew what his appetite was, and I’ll always wonder if I could have kept our family together if only—”
“Don’t do this to yourself. He left us because he was an alcoholic.”
Nora winced and broke eye contact. For a few seconds, she was silent. Then, “I want to see him.”
Claire’s jaw dropped. “What?”
“I want to see him again before—”
“But why?”
“We have unfinished business. And I’m also hoping the two of you can meet.” She looked down at her hands. “I want him to see how wonderfully you turned out.”
“He won’t care.”
“He has been clean and sober for years. And he’s divorced from his second wife.”
“And you know this how?”
She gave Claire a sly grin. “I’ve been following his Facebook page.”
“For how long?”
Nora shrugged. “A while.”
“Why didn’t you message him?”
“I can’t. I’d have to ask him to friend me, and I don’t want to.”
“Where is he?”
“Well, this is funny. He now lives in the booze capital of the world. Las Vegas.”
Claire felt as if she’d plunged into Bizarro World. She needed time to figure out how she felt, and at the moment, she only felt like running away. This was crazy. How could she ever face her father?
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She retrieved it to look at the screen and felt her heart kick into overdrive when she saw the message was from Ian.
No text, only a photo of different types of sushi artfully arranged on a rectangular black platter that sat on a tray of ice.
Claire: What’s this?
Ian: Temptation.
Claire: It does look good.
Ian: I know it is. I made it.
Claire: You made sushi? I’m impressed.
Ian: I did. And spring rolls. I also have
Another photo popped up, this one featuring a bottle of Dom Pérignon chilling in a bucket.
Ian: They didn’t have the rosé, but this is good too.
Claire: Ah. More temptation.
Ian: Is it working?
Claire: What’s for dessert?
Ian: Me.
Butterflies took flight in Claire’s belly.
The three bubbles appeared, and Claire waited breathlessly, hoping for a selfie. But what popped up on the screen was a photo of a bowl of strawberries and a funny-looking stainless bottle with a handle and nozzle.
Ian: This is dessert. But I think I’m better
Claire: Maybe I’ll take you up on it
Ian: Ritz-Carlton, Grand Lakes. Royal Suite. Dare you to come.
If you do, I guarantee you will.
Claire shook her head, unable to suppress a smile.
“What is that smile for? Who are you texting?” Nora reached for her jug of ice water and sipped from the bendy straw.
“A friend.”
It was true. Ian was a friend, albeit with benefits, and the thought of going to that suite to meet him was making her shift in her chair.
“Do I know this friend?”
Someone knocked, and Nora’s gaze flicked to the window on the door. “Dr. Jake!”
Sure enough, Jake breezed in, all confident surgeon in his crisp white coat. “Good afternoon, ladies.”
“We were just talking about you.”
We were?
He grinned. “So that’s why my ears were burning. How are you feeling today?”
“A little tired, but that’s all. Ask me tomorrow; the nausea usually hits the day after.”
“There are some new antiemetics that have helped many patients.”
“Dr. Dawson talked to me about that.”
“You’re ahead of the game then. I should have known. May I steal your beautiful daughter for a moment?”
“Of course you may!” She beamed. “Keep her for as long as you like.”
Claire tried not to cringe. Her mother was pushing, and had she not been in this state, Claire would have read her the riot act by now.
Jake caught her gaze and motioned with his head, and Claire’s stomach dropped. She knew him well enough by now to read him and didn’t like the darkness she saw as his eyes met hers.
She squeezed her mother’s hand. “I’ll be right back.”
“Oh, take your time.” Nora’s eyes shone, from the chemo or from her happiness to see her with Jake, Claire didn’t know.
She hurried out the door, eyes trained on Jake’s white coat as he led her a few yards away from Nora’s room.
He turned to face her and raked a hand through his brown hair.
“I found the test results,” he said without preamble. “The holdup was because of a mix-up with the doctor’s name, and the lab sent them to the wrong department.”
“And?”
He grimaced. “I’m sorry, Claire. You’re not a match.”
·
How she managed to hold it together while she told her mother and through the drive to the Ritz, Claire didn’t know.
All she knew was that she had to get to Ian. She didn’t bother asking herself why. Somehow, she knew he would help her get through this.
Navigating the brightly lit lobby with its cream marble floors and opulent decor was a blur, and the elevator seemed to stop on every floor, but at last, she made it to the Royal Suite.
She took a deep breath and knocked. Barely two seconds later the door swung open, and there stood Ian, a big grin on his beautiful face.
“I wasn’t sure you’d—” His grin turned into a look of deep concern. “What’s wrong?”
She launched herself into his arms. He enveloped her tightly, kicking the door shut, and she buried her face in his chest, holding herself together, not wanting to lose it when he’d expected something entirely different from her tonight.
He pressed her to him, lifting one hand to caress her hair. “What happened, Penny? Whose ass do I need to kick?”
“Cancer.” Her voice was muffled against his chest.
His hand stilled. “Your mother?”
She nodded. “I can’t help her.”