Chapter 9 #3
"Don't get quiet now, 'cause I still got so many more questions to ask." Sienna cleared her throat, then turned her head back to face Monroe.
"You have no clue about hell I've endured because of your crazy ass mother. I'm the one who was shot, and hanging on by a thread. I had two fucking choices, Monroe. Just two. LIVE OR DIE. Now if it was just my life, that would have been one thing, but I was pregnant."
"When you was gon' tell me that?" Monroe cut in and quizzed.
"I planned to tell you when you came home that night, but that never happened because when those people broke into our house and shot me...
" Sienna paused to get her emotions under control.
"I planned to tell you, it just didn't happen because Macie's plan trumped mine.
She told me either I could take the money and live with our daughter, or both of us were gonna die in the hospital that day. "
"Money?" Monroe asked, feeling his heartbreak again. "I never knew your loyalty and love had a price tag on it. How much was breaking my soul worth? I gotta fuckin' know this. How much?"
"Monroe I know you're hurt, but it wasn't just about you. You weren't the only one who was hurt in this situation. "You keep talking about what was taken from you.
What about what was taken from me?"
"How much?"
Sienna let out a deep sigh. "Seventy-Seven thousand dollars is all she offered me, but it was never in exchange for my love, or loyalty.
It was in exchange for my life and our daughter's.
There's a massive difference. You have to understand that, Monroe.
I loved you then, and I still love you now.
Monroe, please tell me you understand," Sienna said, reaching forward, placing her soft hand on top of his.
Monroe looked away to process his own emotions, because this entire situation was gutting him.
"She know who I am?"
Sienna looked down at her untouched food before answering. "Every night for years she prayed to meet you. She knows your birthday, your favorite color, and she looks at your pictures every day,” Sienna revealed, not realizing that her confession was breaking Monroe down internally.
“Pictures? How?” Monroe needed to know how this was even possible.
“Macie brought them to her. She’s been lying to Monae all these years, having her believe that you’ve been working undercover for the President all these years,” Sienna told him truthfully.
“I’ve been lying too because I didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth.
The truth was way too painful for her to have to carry. ”
Coming to the knowledge that Monae had known he was in this world existing without her…
she’d been loving him, and had been longing to connect with him; yet he knew nothing about her made his stomach hollow.
This was beyond cruel, and it didn’t feel like love or hate because it wasn’t.
It felt more like contempt and indifference.
Monroe became eerily quiet, and so did Sienna.
"What she like?" Monroe asked with tears in his eyes that never released.
“She likes a lot of things, but lately she's been asking me to take her to The Met right off of Fifth Avenue,” Sienna revealed.
"I want to see her today. I deserve to know who my daughter is," Monroe spoke beyond the ache in his heart.
"Of course, you can see Monae anytime you want to see her," Sienna said with tear-filled eyes.
"Meet me at The Met at 2," he said, sliding out of the booth. "I need for us to make this day all about her. I'on wanna think about anything outside of Monae. She's most important right now," Monroe said, placing three crisp one-hundred-dollar bills on the table, and walking out of the door.
Sienna had learned a plethora of life lessons, but the one she'd been learning lately was that Gods' timing was always perfect.
If she'd had her way, there's no doubt that her story would be written much differently than the reality she faced daily.
Monae, however, would forever be the best part of her journey.
Everything about her that was good had been poured unselfishly into Monae because Sienna wanted her daughter's life to be better than hers.
She wanted Monae to experience things she'd only been able to dream of.
The only regret Sienna had was lying to her about who her father was.
Sienna had thought long and hard about this day, knowing that when it came, she'd be left holding the bag alone as if she'd put herself in this predicament.
Macie was somewhere causing havoc, and living her best life simultaneously, while other people mended the broken pieces of their lives back together.
It wasn't fair, but neither was life, and Sienna was determined not to break.
Her mind raced as she grabbed Monae a new outfit and pair of shoes from her closet.
She knew her daughter would be pissed if Sienna let her meet Monroe and she didn't look her best. Sienna laughed to herself just thinking about it.
She put Monae's clothes in a small duffle bag, and raced through the house, stopping at the door to secure it.
Sienna glanced at her phone to see what time it was, and released a deep breath.
The sound of Snoh Aalegra's voice as she sang DO 4 LOVE was the perfect antidote to offset the anxiety that ran rampant through her body.
Calming her myriad thoughts so she could focus and truly be present for Monae.
As her breathing eased, Sienna backed out of her driveway and headed to her mom's house.
About thirty minutes had passed by, but Sienna wasn't worried.
Time is on my side today, she thought, grabbing the duffel bag and shoebox before getting out of the car.
Once she made it up the stairs, Sienna rang the doorbell and waited.
"Hey ma!" Monae sweetly stated as soon as she opened the door.
"Hey my girl. You wanna hang out with me today?" Sienna asked. "You've been wanting to see the city, and mentioned wanting to go to The Met. Let's make it happen," Sienna offered, handing Monae the duffel bag and the shoebox. The smile on Monae's face was priceless.
"Thanks, Ma! I'll go get dressed now," Monae said, running up the stairs, and straight to the bathroom. Sienna smiled, watching the excitement that filled her daughter with just the simple things.
"Where y'all going?" Symie asked, snatching Sienna out of her thoughts.
Sienna smiled. "I'm taking her to The Met to meet Monroe," she whispered.
"Does he know he's meeting her?" Symie asked, but the mug on her face let Sienna know she wasn't playing around about her grandbaby.
"Yes, he knows, Mom. I just finished having brunch with him. He asked me to meet him there because he wants to meet her."
"I want to surprise her though. She's waited long enough. She deserves this moment."
"You're right. She does," Symie agreed. "She's gonna love him, and he's gonna love her so much more."
"I'm so grateful, ma. God finally heard our prayers," Sienna said, quickly swiping the tear before it had a chance to fall.
"He heard you the first time you called his name, but He answers in His time...
not ours. Keep trusting that everything meant for you in this season of your life is finding its way to you.
Surrender your will to His and keep living, baby.
It's all gonna work out at the end," Symie encouraged.
"Let me fix you a drink before you go. You need to loosen up," she said, leading the way to the kitchen and turned the music up.
In no time, Symie had mixed some pineapples, pineapple juice, cream of coconut, ice, and white rum.
"Have you heard from Macie's crazy ass lately?" Symie asked.
"Yea," Sienna answered. "She came by the house talking shit as usual."
"I'm so sick of her ass. She better be glad I gave my life to the Lord," Symie said, filling two red cups with the alcohol infused Pina Colada she'd just made.
Sienna cracked up laughing because Symie knew damn well she hadn't givin' her life to no Lord.
"Ma, really," Sienna spoke with humor laced in her voice.
"I can't stand her ass. She really pissed me off when she said Monae would be the only reason Monroe chose me. Like my baby is a pon or some shit."
Symie joined Sienna at the table, and chose her words carefully.
"Just focus on one hurdle at a time. Macie is all about her agenda, Sienna.
She never cared about the people she hurt in the crossfire, not even her own son.
Don't lose yourself in the midst of her bullshit.
Now that Monroe is finally finding out the truth about what happened," Symie paused and placed her hand on top of Sienna's.
"You have already made him your choice, I can see it all in your eyes. But, let him choose you."
"What if he doesn't though?" Sienna quizzed. "What if he chooses the woman he’s with, and just wants to co-parent? What if he hates me when it's all said and done, and wants nothing to do with me?"
Symie sighed deeply, feeling her daughter's angst. "Then you accept and respect his decision. You keep living and find a way to move on. Hell, open yourself up to the possibility of finding happiness with someone else."
Sienna considered her mother's words, but she couldn't relate.
"I hear you, but that makes absolutely no sense to me.
I'm sorry, but no ma'am," Sienna took another sip from her cup.
"All these years I waited for another opportunity to be with the love of my life, and you're telling me to accept if he doesn't choose me?
" Sienna shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know if I can do that, ma. "
"Okay, I'm ready," Monae said, walking into the kitchen wearing a cream and brown Abercrombie t-shirt, light-washed shorts, with a fresh pair of brown and cream Jordan's.
"You look so pretty, Muffin," Symie complimented. "And, I love that bracelet, matching anklet, and those diamond earrings are everything.