Chapter 14
“Aw shit! Who done pissed in yo’ coffee this mornin’, sis?” Syn asked, walking through the door for his one-on-one session.
He’d noticed the somber expression on Promise’s face, and immediately tried to brighten her day just like a younger brother would naturally do.
“Oh no, I’m good,” Promised lied. “I’m just a little tired today.”
Syn knew she wasn’t tellin’ the truth, but he wasn’t going to pry it out of her. That was his mans’ job to do, there was only so much he could do anyway.
“How does Amor feel about the daddy and daughter formal coming up next month?” Promise asked, quickly changing the subject.
“Yea, I thought about what you was sayin’, and decided I ain’t want my daughter comin’ up here to see me like this,” Syn told her honestly. “She too innocent, and I know she ain’t gon’ be able to handle it when it’s over, and she gotta leave. I’on wanna put her through that shit.”
“What about Amor or any of your other baby mama’s? Are they willing to come see you?” Promise pressed further.
“I’m the one who fucked up,” Syn said. “I just wanna do my bid, and get the fuck outta here. I’on deserve to be in none of their presence.”Syn shrugged.
“Why are you punishing yourself, and stopping people from showing you love if that’s what they want to do? This is New York, Syn. You know you can get conjugal visits,” Promise whispered.
Syn chuckled. “You wild as hell, sis. A nigga ain’t never pressed ‘bout no pussy. I get that shit whenever I want in here,” Syn revealed. “I run shit in this prison,” he boasted.
Promise shook her head because she wasn’t surprised. “What’s your plan when you get released? Have you decided which woman you wanna be with?”
“Amor will always be my choice, but if I can’t have her,” he cracked his knuckles. “A nigga gon’ stay single, be the best father I can be to my kids, focus on my music, and the barbershop.” He shrugged.
“All that sounds good, but…nevermind,” Promise cut her sentence short because she didn’t want to make Syn feel like she was judging him.
“But what?” Syn shot back. “You ain’t gotta walk on eggshells wit’ me.”
“You say the things you named are going to be your focus, but I’m curious to know what shifted?” Promise said. “Even listening to you right now, I’m really not convinced.”
“I got distracted,” Syn said. “It was one thing to lie to Amor because I convinced myself I was protecting her, but the shit got out of hand when I started believing my own lies. Shit started fallin’ apart faster than I could fix the shit, and I ended up losing my wife.
All she ever wanted was the best for a nigga, but I couldn’t see past what I was familiar wit’.
I thought gettin’ married and havin’ kids would be enough, but it wasn’t. ”
“And how is it now, and you’re doing the same things you was doing when you were on the outside?” Promise asked.
“I do this shit to pass time in here, but it ain’t a part of me no more. I want my family back. I know it may seem far-fetched, but I want all my kids under the same roof, and I want to create a new normal.”
“I can respect that,” Promise stated. “I really pray it all works out in your favor.”
“From your mouth to Gods’ ears. I know He’ll hear you before he hear a nigga like me.” Syn laughed, raising his hands in the air.
“Crazy ass. You need Jesus, bro,” Promise laughed and said.
“Oh yea, before I forget. Can you tell Roe I need him to make that run for me? He’ll know what that means,” Syn asked.
Promise nodded and lowered her head, feeling herself getting emotional at the mention of Monroe’s name. Syn had been trying to mind his business, but they were all like family.
“I’ll let him know, but lately he’s been preoccupied with Sienna, who’s back from the dead, and their daughter,” she unapologetically divulged.
The look on Syn’s face told a story his words never could, not to Promise anyway. “Run that back again?”
“You heard me right. She’s alive, had Monroe’s daughter, and his crazy ass mother was behind it all,” Promise continued, sitting back, crossing her arms.
“Damn sis,” Syn said, his mind traveling back in time. “Give him some grace, sis. I know shit seem fucked up right now, but,” Syn paused, choosing his words wisely. “He gone make it right.”
“I hope you’re right,” Promise’s voice cracked, but she quickly got herself together because this wasn’t the time or the place.
“A’ight sis. That’s my time,” Syn said, hearing the officer tap the door.
Promise nodded, quickly turning to her laptop to log their visit.
Once done, she took a deep breath, grabbed her bag from the bottom drawer in her desk, and grabbed the four-pack of Clear Blue pregnancy tests that she purchased on her way to work.
She couldn’t remember the last time she saw her cycle, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was pregnant.
Rising to her feet, she locked her office door, then slipped into the bathroom that was connected to her office.
“Lord, I know you know what’s best… I trust you with every outcome,” Promise prayed, then opened the box, so she could quickly pee in the small cup, and dip one of the pregnancy tests in before sealing it up.
Impatiently, she waited for what seemed like the longest three minutes of her life after washing her hands.
She paced the floor, and watched the clock on her phone until it said 4:44 pm.
Anxiously she sat her phone down, closed her eyes, and drug her hands down her face.
Bitch! Get it together. No matter what that test says, you’ll be fine regardless.
Promise coached herself because as bad as she wanted to call her best friend, Rae, and her mother, she didn’t feel like explaining anything about why Monroe wasn’t present.
Sighing deeply, she picked up the test and read the results.
PREGNANT.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” her hands shook as she repeated the words over and over again.
“God, why now? This isn’t the worst timing ever,” she whispered, reaching for the other three tests to see if they’d say the same thing, because if they didn’t, then and only then could Promise breathe easy.
She dipped them all then waited to see the results, this time she didn’t take her eyes off of them.
To her surprise, the result didn’t take three minutes, it came in less than two minutes.
PREGNANT. PREGNANT. PREGNANT.
“What the hell,” she said in disbelief. “I need to call Monroe,” she murmured, quickly scrolling and tapping his contact.
The phone rang once, then went straight to the voicemail that he’d never taken the time to set up.
Promise blew out a sharp breath, and called back again to no avail.
She tried one more time, and still there was no answer.
Why the hell is your phone off? She thought, switching over to their text thread.
Promise reread the last text he’d sent her again, and her response from this morning.
Monroe: Just made it to the crib, Doll. Missin’ my baby already.
7:24 am. I miss you too, baby.
Promise took a deep breath as her thumbs raced across the phone screen.
Call me back when you can. I need to talk to you.
Promise hit send then held the phone close to her heart, as if there was some way she could send the urgency she felt to wherever he was.
Please baby. Please call me. I need you now.
Right fucking now, she murmured, lifting her phone so she could scroll to her OBGYN’s number to make an emergency appointment.
“Hello, this is Karen. Thanks for calling Pure Love OBGYN,” she answered.
“Hi, my name is Promise Montgomery. I need to get in to see Dr. Michelle Williams. I just took four pregnancy tests, and they’re all positive. I need to come in to see if all this is accurate,” Promise said, determined to be seen expeditiously.
Karen, the doctor’s assistant must’ve felt her through the line. “If you can get here in the next hour, Dr. Williams will be able to see you today. She had a cancellation,” Karen said.
“Yes, ma’am, I’ll be there,” Promise agreed, rushing out of the bathroom with all the pregnancy tests she’d taken, placing them back into the box they came out of.
An Hour Later…
Mariah The Scientist’s Rainy Days had been played softly as she pulled into the first parking space she set her eyes on.
After grabbing her purse, she picked up her phone that had been resting in the cup holder for the whole ride, and scrolled to Monroe’s number and called him.
No answer, so she scrolled to their text thread and sent another message because she really wanted him to be there with her.
Why the hell haven’t you called me back yet? Are you ok? Call me.
The emotional whiplash Monroe was unconsciously inflicting was raising Promise’s anxiety to insane levels.
She wasn’t used to him not answering when she called.
In almost three years, he’d never not returned her text.
She knew the lifestyle he was into, but he’d never made her worry about him.
Lately there had been way too much going on for him to be M.I.A.
What if something’s wrong, she thought, suddenly feeling nauseous, as she stepped out of her car, and made her way to her appointment.
“Hi, my name is Promise. I have an appointment today with Dr. Williams,” Promise said as she approached the reception desk, exhaustion resting heavy beneath her eyes.
The receptionist looked up from her computer and smiled. “I got you all checked in. Can you please fill out the sign-in sheet? We’ll call you back shortly,” she said.
“Yes ma’am. Thank you,” Promise replied before walking away.
As soon as she sat down in the waiting area, her phone rang and buzzed inside of her Louis Vuitton bag.
Without looking down, Promise felt around and grabbed her purse until she found it.
When she saw her sister Rae’s name flash on her screen, she let out the deepest sigh, remembering the worry she heard in her voice the week prior.
Promise ignored the call and texted her right away.