Chapter 13 - Will
City After City of Denial
Chicago
War:
Tell me what you’re wearing.
Me:
My uniform?
Me:
Shouldn’t you be getting ready for the game?
War:
I am. I’m practicing my new pregame ritual.
Me:
And that is?
War:
Do you really wanna know?
Me:
Please. Don’t keep me in suspense.
War:
Jacking off to the thought of you coming for me.
War:
Have you ever seen yourself while you’re coming undone?
War:
Fucking mesmerizing.
Me:
See you at the game…
War:
Still a stiff I see.
Cincinnati
War:
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Me:
wtf?
War:
Humor me.
Me:
Have you?
War:
I asked you first.
War:
Quit being a brat (that’s my job) and answer the question.
Me:
A fictional character being what? Like an actor?
War:
A cartoon character, specifically.
Me:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
War:
Oh, I can see I’ve struck a nerve.
War:
It must be a good character. Hmm… now I’m fully invested. Who is it?
Me:
You’re mental.
War:
Fine. I’ll go first.
War:
It’s a toss up between Li Shang from Mulan and Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.
Me:
Did you always know you were into guys?
War:
Yes, and women. Jessica Rabbit got me right along with Lola Bunny *face sweating emoji*
Me:
I was more of a Princess Jasmine guy. Come to think of it, Jade kind of looks like her …
War:
MY SISTER??????????
Me:
Yeah. The Warren black hair just does it for me.
War:
YOU’RE SICK.
War:
DON’T EVER TALK ABOUT HER AGAIN.
War:
You’re not invited back to my family’s dinners if you don’t take it back.
War:
I don’t care if my dad worships the ground you walk on.
Me:
Alright, I take it back.
Me:
But only because your mom’s cooking is to die for.
War:
I didn’t even get to show you my childhood bedroom while you were there.
Me:
Is my poster still on the wall?
War:
Fuck, I think it is.
War:
I should grab that and put it on my ceiling for nights when I’m feeling lonely.
Me:
I’m sure you’re awfully lonely right now considering we all got our own rooms on this trip.
War:
Nah, I’m excited to get a good night’s sleep sans your snoring.
Me:
Fuck right off. I don’t snore.
War:
Oh, but you do, Pretty Boy. You’d think with that big contract of yours you could afford to see an ENT. Gotta be a deviated septum or something causing you to saw logs so loud every night.
Me:
I’ve literally never had another teammate tell me I snore.
War:
About that… Am I your favorite roomie you’ve ever had?
Me:
Depends on the day.
Milwaukee
War:
What’s your go-to karaoke song?
Me:
Never sang karaoke.
War:
You’re kidding, right?
Me:
No.
War:
Leave it up to me to show you all the finer things in life.
War:
Since you asked… Mine would definitely be “All The Small Things” by Blink 182.
Me:
Never heard it.
War:
What. The. Fuck.
War:
Did you live under a rock when you grew up???
Me:
I’m joking obviously.
War:
Thank God.
War:
Fine, what do you listen to before a game?
Me:
I typically have a playlist of Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, ACDC, and Queen going before a game.
War:
OK, I can fuck with that.
War:
Now if I made you sing karaoke with me, which song would you choose?
Me:
“Wanted Dead Or Alive” by Bon Jovi.
War:
FUCK! That’s a good one.
Me:
I guess it’s a toss up between that or “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard.
War:
You tryin’ to tell me something, Sin?
Me:
IDK am I?