Chapter 18 #3
Abhay shook his head. ‘Do you remember I left that night after we got back to the ballroom? It was torturing me to know that our first kiss happened before you even knew my name. To me, it was surreal because I was kissing the girl of my dreams and I hated that it wasn’t the same for you.
But then you began your speech and your voice pulled me back to you.
I couldn’t take one step away from you then, and if it comes to that, I won’t be able to do it tomorrow either. ’
‘And what happens when this… when this arrangement ends?’ she asked, her gaze flicking to the sand lodged between her toes.
Abhay hesitated. ‘Then it will have to be you who walks away.’
She had braced herself for his anger or silence, not an admission so stark it felt like raw wound.
‘And what if I do?’ she asked softly.
Abhay smiled, faint and full of pain. ‘Then I’ll hate myself for it, but I’ll let you go. If you stay with me, it should be because you choose to, not because you feel trapped or obligated. But I’m not letting go without a fight. I’d do whatever it took to earn my way back to you.’
She studied him, and found no trace of deceit. ‘Will you answer me honestly if I ask you something?’
Abhay nodded, waiting for her to go on.
‘During our engagement brunch, did you lie when you said you liked me since childhood because it sounded good for the PR narrative?’
He shook his head, slowly and certainly.
‘No, not even a word. I was eight the first time I saw you. We were in Delhi for the summer and my parents dragged me to some birthday party. I sulked the entire ride there. Then I saw you. You were wearing this yellow frock with a daisy headband which kept slipping off because it couldn’t hold your wild curls. ’
A startled laugh escaped her. ‘Oh my god, I hated that headband.’
‘I know,’ he said with a grin. ‘In the end, you pulled it off and threw it under a cupboard.’
‘You were watching me?’ she tilted her head.
‘You were hard not to watch. Instead of playing like the rest of us, you were busy helping the birthday girl pass out cake and later, you scolded a boy twice your size for pushing a toddler. I remember thinking how does a kid look like she already knows how to run the world?’
‘So that’s what made you curious?’
Abhay chuckled. ‘I didn’t even know what that feeling was back then, but after that party, I dragged my parents to every other birthday that summer, hoping to see you again but you weren’t there.’
‘It’s so weird that I didn’t even know you existed at the time,’ she mused, wondering what could have been if they’d met as innocent and carefree kids, away from the spotlight of legacy.
‘That’s the irony. You have no idea how long you’ve been a part of my life, even from a distance. I think I had a crush on you before I even knew what that word meant.’
Her throat prickled with an emotion she couldn’t decipher. ‘That’s a long time to hold on to a crush.’
‘Not when it’s on a kickass woman like you,’ he said, laying a soft kiss on her shoulder. ‘It’s always been only you for me, Siya.’
She didn’t know what to say, so she just held his hand, watching the sun set in comfortable silence. The darkness fell quickly, and when the moon began shining through the clouds, they got up and walked back to his car.
On the drive home, she asked what had been lingering in her mind. ‘Why did you tell me all of this now?’
Abhay glanced at her and said, ‘Because I didn’t say it when it mattered, and I don’t want to make the same mistake again.’
The longing in his eyes, in his voice, was a kind of hunger that went deeper than desire and Siya looked away. Everything she’d learned today made her understand his point of view a little, or maybe that’s exactly what it was intended to do.
Was he still lying to her?
After spending the one evening with him, she’d taken his every word at face value and then paid a heavy price for it. Her father had been always vocal about how the Agrawal family lacked any trace of ethics or remorse for how they overtook other businesses. Was Abhay playing the same tricks on her?
Siya realised with a thud that she’d let her guard down without even realising it, after spending an evening with him, just like four years ago.
By the time they parked his car and rode up the elevator, she decided to keep her distance from him. She needed space to remind herself that whatever softness had begun to bloom between them was temporary, and dangerous, and not hers to keep.
The overhead lights cast a soft golden hue as Abhay flipped on the switch. ‘I could make us some dinner,’ he offered, watching her closely. Her silence was scaring him.
She turned away with a shake of her head. ‘I’m full. I think I'll change and call it a night.’
Siya had barely taken a step up the stairs when a soft click echoed through the living room as the speakers came alive. Music drifted through the air and she immediately recognised the song.
Her breath hitched when she felt his fingers wrap around her wrist as he tugged her around to face him. His eyes were pleading, waiting.
‘Abhi na jaao chhodkar, ke dil abhi bhara nahi…’
‘Abhay…’ she said as he wound his brawny arm around her waist and laced through her fingers with a familiarity that sent a traitorous flutter curling in her chest. Her other hand rested her palm against his chest, right over the steady beat of his heart.
He gently began to sway with her as he whispered against her ear, ‘Shh, just dance with me.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I don’t want to let you go just yet. Let me hold you a little longer.’
Siya tried not to sink into him, but his steady presence, his scent, and his hand on her back dismantled her resistance with painful ease.
When he sang along softly under his breath, it reverberated through her soul. ‘Main thodi der jee toh lun, nashe ke ghunt pi toh lun.’
His eyes shimmered with love and hope, and a tight prickle tingles in her belly. She rested her head on his chest, and he wrapped both arms around her, tucking her under the juncture of his shoulder.
‘Jo khatam ho kisi jagah, ye aisa silsila nahi,’ he sang and placed a soft kiss on her temple. The gravity of those words hit her right in her heart and she held onto him tighter.
In the dimly lit room and the safety of his arms, she admitted to herself that she didn’t want this moment to end. The song faded into silence, but they kept swaying. Abhay held onto her, holding her close, and no matter what her mind screamed at her, she wasn’t ready to let go either.