Chapter 11 #2
‘Nanu and Nani didn’t tell me that part until much later, when I was old enough to understand what she’d done. But honestly, I didn’t know what I was missing because they gave me a good, happy life. My Malini Maasi and Rishi Mausa helped whenever they could too.’
Kashvi nestled in the crook of his neck, listening.
Swayam added, his eyes fixed on the distant city lights flickering against the dark sky, ‘I don’t understand why or how she could do it, and I don’t think I ever will. But it took me a long time to realise it would have been worse if she had stayed and made both our lives miserable.’
‘What about your father? Wait, that’s a stupid question. I can guess that you haven’t spoken to him either. I mean, I don’t even know his name.’
Swayam exhaled, leaning back into the sofa and pulling her slightly closer. ‘At least my mother had the decency to say she was never coming back. But I suppose Lalit Sharma didn’t believe in goodbyes. He signed the divorce papers and then… disappeared.’
‘How is that possible?’ Her brows drew together. ‘No one tried to find him?’
‘When I was around sixteen, Mausa told me that if I wanted to meet him, he would look for him. But I chose not to.’
‘Why?’ she asked softly.
‘You know, my Nanu was a hell of a man. He raised me like his own, and my mausa did too. They never once made me feel like a burden. I knew that whoever my father was, he would never measure up to them. Not even close. So why go looking for someone who had already made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with me? ’
Her chest constricted as he gave her a sad smile.
‘Besides, I think I did both of us a favour, because I can only assume he blamed me for why their marriage failed, the same way my mother did.’
‘That’s not true,’ Kashvi snapped, driven by the need to shield him from the weight of such crushing disappointment. ‘The blame lies with two people who made a blind jump into parenthood when they weren’t ready for it.’
Swayam glanced at her, a flicker of surprise crossing his face as she added, ‘And if he ever shows up, he’ll have to deal with me first.’
A smile tugged at his lips and he comically widened his eyes. ‘Whoa, that’s a terrifying thought. I should probably be worried for him.’
‘He deserves it,’ Kashvi said.
‘Yes, ma’am. I’ll make sure to stand behind you if that ever happens.’
Swayam smiled at her, but the sadness didn’t leave his eyes. She held onto him a little tighter, unwilling to fight the pull to stay right there in his arms.
Kashvi rested her head on his chest. ‘You said your maasi’s son is getting engaged soon. Do you think there’s a chance your mother might come for that?’
She felt him shake his head as he said sharply, ‘She didn’t even come home when her parents died. I wouldn’t hold my breath for her attendance at a relative’s wedding.’
‘Not even when you and Nani ji were trying to figure out how to survive?’ Kashvi asked, unable to believe it.
‘Nani sold her handmade sweaters, and I picked up freelance editing work. It paid enough to keep things going. We had each other, and we didn’t need her.’
The look in his eyes made her chest ache as he continued, ‘But my maasi took it really hard when she didn’t show up for Nani’s funeral. Maasi kept repeating that she’d at least come for that.’
Kashvi saw his jaw tighten, the restraint in his anger fraying as he continued, ‘Shalini Sharma hadn’t given a damn when her parents were alive. I don’t know why anyone thought she’d care after they were gone.’
How had he survived that? How had he held himself together to become the jovial man she knew?
‘I visit Maasi often, and I try to be there whenever I can. She’s already given me a list of things I have to do for my cousin’s engagement,’ he said with a small chuckle.
‘Are you close to him?’
‘Yeah, we grew up together. Sure, we had our problems, but he made life much less lonely than it could have been,’ Swayam said, a faint smile tugging at his lips.
‘I get that,’ Kashvi said softly, tracing a pattern along his arm. ‘To have that kind of family… it matters.’
‘They’re still more like blood relatives. For me, Siya and Mihu feel more like family. They kept me sane through losing Nani. All of us in a room together, that’s what feels like family.’
Kashvi lifted her hand to his cheek. ‘You do know you have me too, right? You’re not alone. Not anymore.’
The words felt small compared to what she meant, but she hoped they were enough.
‘I know.’
‘I mean, I’m aware I’m much more annoying than them, but you’ll just have to deal with me,’ she said.
‘It’d be my pleasure,’ Swayam replied with a nod.
‘Good, because you’re stuck with me now,’ she warned.
His chest vibrated with laughter beneath her cheek. ‘And I make sure to thank the universe for it every day.’
She rested her head against his shoulder, her body softening into his. His warmth and the faint scent of his cologne lingered around her. She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath, taking him in.
‘I wish I could have met your grandparents,’ Kashvi said quietly, because from everything she’d heard, she knew she would have liked them.
‘They would have loved you, and I would have been sidelined,’ Swayam chuckled as his fingers brushed the clasp of her mangalsutra at her nape.
A small smile tugged at her lips. ‘You know, you don’t have to steal it anymore. You already won the bet.’
Swayam chuckled, shifting his hand to run through her hair. ‘It’s become a habit, I guess.’
Kashvi played with the ruby heart. ‘This belonged to my Maa, and she wore it often. When it passed down to me, I started wearing it every day to keep her close. I don’t think I could have ever let go of it, so you did a great job.’
Relief softened his voice. ‘I cannot tell you how happy that makes me, because I had this nightmare last night where you punched me right there in the temple when you saw it.’
‘That can still happen,’ Kashvi said, narrowing her eyes playfully as she tilted her head towards him. ‘You did make a very bold decision without talking to me, so I still might punch you.’
‘Is that so?’ Swayam asked, lifting a brow. ‘Hit me. I’ll take it without complaint.’
Kashvi huffed out a quiet laugh. ‘Without complaint? You?’
‘I have my moments,’ he said with a small, almost sheepish smile. ‘And if that doesn’t help, you can think of it as my wedding gift to you. Makes it easier, right?’
She hummed thoughtfully. ‘Alright. I’ll take that excuse, but only on one condition.’
Swayam exhaled in resignation. ‘I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.’
Kashvi rolled her eyes. ‘Let me get you something too.’
‘Already got mine, so I’m all set.’ Swayam lifted his hand, drawing her attention to the platinum wedding band resting on his ring finger. A hint of a grin broke through as he said, ‘I think it suits me, don’t you?’
‘It does,’ Kashvi admitted, her gaze lingering on it a second longer. ‘But that’s different.’
‘How?’
‘Because I didn’t do anything for that. Siya brought it over this morning from the family vault. I just put it on you.’
Kashvi held the ruby heart between her fingers, watching it gleam in the dim light. ‘I want to give you something special, memorable. Something that’s actually from me and makes you feel the way this made me feel.’
‘If that’s the case, then I can think of something.’
‘Anything.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asked, his voice stripped of its earlier playfulness.
A shiver of awareness travelled slowly down her spine as he ran his fingers along her back. ‘Do you know what my favourite moment of the day was?’ he asked.
The shift in conversation caught her off guard, and so did the way he suddenly pulled her flush against his chest. All she could do was curl her fingers into his T-shirt and shake her head.
Swayam tugged lightly at her mangalsutra with the tip of his finger, drawing her closer as he said, ‘It was when I put this on you, because for the first time, I don’t have to imagine what it would feel like to have you in my arms. You’re here, and you’re mine.’
He traced a finger along the curve of her jaw, unbearably gentle, before resting it beneath her chin and tilting her head back. Her lips parted, her body reacting before her mind could catch up.
His gaze dropped to her mouth, and the need burning in his eyes sent an ache through her. ‘I never thought I’d get this life, where you’re with me like this. But now that I do, I want to cherish it.’
Her heart thudded harder, and Kashvi could barely think. All she felt was desire in the way her skin tingled and her pulse raced. She held his gaze, unable to break the fragile, electric thread of longing binding them together.
Swayam said softly, ‘I don’t want to rush you, so think about it before you decide. And if you say no, I’ll understand. But if there’s even a small part of you that feels as crazy as I do when I’m this close to you, then grant me the gift of our first kiss.’