Chapter 22
Kashvi drove down the ramp into the basement parking of the mall. The hum of the engine echoed faintly through the enclosed space as she searched for a spot. When she finally pulled into one and turned the key, the sudden silence felt too loud.
Swayam had said nothing since they left, and the absence of his voice made everything feel wrong.
Malini continued her rant from the back seat as she opened the door. ‘But does anyone ever listen to me? No. They only remember me when something has gone wrong.’
Luv chuckled and followed after her. ‘My mother says the same thing when we annoy her.’
Kashvi stayed where she was, hoping for a few minutes alone to gather herself, but when she noticed Swayam still hadn’t moved, sharp panic rushed through her. She grabbed her purse and reached for the door with urgency. She only faintly heard him call her name once she was out of the car.
The cool air of the parking lot hit her face as she shut the door behind her. Luv stood beside her, resting one hand on the car while he watched her. He clicked his tongue softly, shaking his head.
Kashvi shot him a warning look. ‘Don’t.’
He raised his hands in surrender, walking backwards.
Kashvi walked over to where they stood, and Malini asked, ‘Which way?’
She pointed towards the glass doors at the far end of the lot, leading them forward. Their footsteps echoed against the concrete floor as they walked.
Malini asked, ‘Luv beta, are you married?’
Caught off guard, his eyes widened and he stumbled once. ‘I...’
Swayam chimed in when he trailed off. ‘That seems like an answer you should know.’
‘No, I’m not,’ Luv stammered, raising his hands. ‘I’ve been awake too long with no coffee. I was slightly zoned out.’
‘And what about you, Kashvi?’ Malini asked.
Kashvi could feel his burning gaze on her back, but she didn’t turn around. ‘No, Auntyji.’
‘Are you seeing someone then?’ she asked next.
‘No. I mean… no, I’m not,’ Kashvi managed, skirting too close to the truth. ‘I don’t think I’m really marriage material anyway. I’d probably just end up torturing the poor guy.’
Malini made a soft, disapproving sound. ‘Arrey, what is this way of talking about yourself? You’re such a lovely girl, and so beautiful too. The man who gets you will be very lucky.’
Kashvi glanced down, waving it off.
Swayam spoke then. ‘No arguments there.’
Her chest clenched, and she almost stumbled at the threshold of the glass doors. Rows of elevators stood ahead.
Kashvi pressed the call button. The elevator doors opened with a soft chime, revealing a few people already inside.
Swayam stepped in first, making room for them to follow.
It was a tight fit, and Kashvi found herself pushed towards the back corner as more people squeezed in.
She stepped on someone’s shoe and turned to apologise, but the words died on her tongue. Swayam stood behind her, his back pressed against the steel wall.
Kashvi kept herself rigidly upright, trying to create space, but there was barely any room. If she leaned back even slightly, she would touch him.
Without warning, Swayam wrapped an arm firmly around her waist, pulling her flush against him. His palm pressed flat against her stomach, anchoring her there.
The heat of him surrounded her so completely that Kashvi could almost swear she was on fire. Then he rested his forehead against the side of her head, inhaling deeply as he whispered into her ear, ‘I miss you, baby.’
The ache in his voice cut straight through her, enough to drag a broken sob from deep in her chest. She bit hard on her lower lip, tears burning in her eyes as she tried to force it back down.
‘Swayam…’ she whispered, curling her fingers tighter around his arm, because even though it hurt, it was also the only place she could breathe.
‘Don’t,’ he said, his voice strained. ‘Please. I can’t do this. This is torture, Kash.’
Her knuckles turned pale with how tightly she held onto him, never wanting to let go.
The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open, shattering the moment.
His arm slipped away, and the loss of it left her off balance.
Kashvi sniffled and stepped forward, walking out with the slow shuffle of the crowd.
Malini had wandered into the jewellery store beside the elevators, but Luv stood there watching her with sharp concern. ‘Kashu, are you okay?’
She nodded quickly, brushing at the corner of her eye. ‘I’m fine. Just… a little claustrophobic, I think.’
The slight tilt of his head made it clear he wasn’t fooled. ‘Yeah, that must be it.’
Kashvi turned away from him and caught sight of Swayam standing a few feet away. The faint sheen in his eyes mirrored hers, and unable to bear it, she walked ahead to where Malini stood.
She pointed towards an ethnic store. ‘You know, Swayam may not be entirely wrong about me spoiling my kids. Last time I came here with Lavanya to get one saree for her, I ended up buying six.’
Kashvi smiled, matching her pace as they explored.
‘And you? Who all are in your family?’ Malini asked, glancing at her curiously.
‘I have an elder sister and brother-in-law. She’s just like you. She loves to spoil me,’ she answered.
Malini nodded. ‘Oh, that’s nice. Elder sisters are always a blessing. Mine used to boss me around all the time, but I don’t know what I’d have done without her.’
Kashvi let out a genuine chuckle. ‘That sounds about right.’
‘And what about your parents?’ Malini asked warmly.
Kashvi curled her fingers into a fist. ‘My father stays out of town because work keeps him away. My maa… she passed away when I was six.’
Malini rested her hand on Kashvi’s shoulder. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, beta. That must have been very difficult at such a young age.’
Kashvi shrugged, looking away. ‘Siya Di was always there for me.’
Malini shook her head, her eyes distant. ‘No one can make up for the absence of parents, no matter how much they love you. But yes, having someone to look after you definitely helps. Take Swayam, for example. Whenever he misses his parents, he comes over.’
She turned to face Kashvi, gently holding her by the shoulders. ‘You can also come, dear. Anytime. You don’t have to think twice.’
A surge of emotion choked her, but she managed to rasp out, ‘Thank you, Auntyji.’
‘Oh, c’mon, you can call me Maasi too,’ Malini said with maternal ease.
They began walking again, and the store at the end of the floor caught her attention. Malini pointed to a mannequin and exclaimed, ‘Oh! That would look great on Swayam. C’mon, let’s go in.’
Kashvi followed her into the store, the scent of dyed fabrics and faint incense greeting them. Luv and Swayam joined them, but Kashvi moved to take one of the seats, keeping her gaze fixed on the floor.
Malini gestured towards the display. ‘Could you show me that kurta?’
The young boy nodded, immediately fetching it. She held it out. ‘Swayam, what do you think?’
‘It’s very… cream,’ he mumbled, shaking his head.
When she showed another kurta, Luv scoffed. ‘It’s too festive. It will seem like he’s the groom.’
Malini frowned. ‘At least try it once.’
Swayam didn’t move. ‘Luv is right.’
The assistant quickly brought out a handful of options, holding them up one by one.
Swayam raised his hand to stop him. ‘I can already tell it’s not my style.’
‘These are popular, custom designs, sir,’ the assistant replied quickly.
‘It’s giving uncle vibes,’ Luv said, backing him up.
Kashvi sighed to herself. She knew what they were doing. Every option they saw was good, but they were too busy rejecting each one to even consider it.
‘Too loud.’
‘Too plain.’
‘Too shiny.’
‘Too dull.’
It went on for a few minutes until Malini’s patience began to thin. ‘You cannot just reject everything without even touching one of them.’
‘None of them are good,’ Swayam said, infuriatingly calm.
Kashvi pushed herself up from the seat and moved towards the side racks where rows of kurtas were arranged along wooden rods. Their colours ranged from muted creams and ivories to deeper jewel tones, all catching the overhead lights. She scanned them, keeping an ear on the conversation behind her.
‘You can at least pretend to be interested,’ Malini scolded.
‘I am,’ he argued.
‘All you’re doing is being a menace,’ Malini retorted, swatting his shoulder.
‘Maybe you should just accept me for who I am then. It will make your life easier.’
Kashvi heard the soft thwack and glanced over her shoulder to see Malini swat him again.
‘Don’t get clever with me,’ Malini warned.
Luv chuckled. ‘He has a point, Aunty. This is his personality.’
Malini pointed a finger at him. ‘Don’t encourage him. You’re just like him. I didn’t think two people could be this devilishly similar.’
‘I take that as a compliment,’ Swayam replied easily.
Kashvi moved to the last rack, where a deep blue kurta caught her eye. The rich velvet fabric had silver beads scattered across it like a midnight sky. Along the collar and down the front ran vines in silver threadwork, studded with zardozi sequins.
Only one thought surfaced as she held it.
He would look devastatingly handsome in this.
‘I know what will make my life easier, and that’s handing you over to your wife so I can finally retire in peace. I’m telling you, I’m done running behind you like this.’
Malini’s words knocked the air out of her lungs. Kashvi pressed the edge of the hanger into her palm, scolding herself for forgetting why they were here.
Behind her, Swayam had gone silent. She could only guess his illusion had broken, just like hers.
She closed her eyes, drawing in a slow breath that did nothing to steady the storm rising inside her.
Let’s get this over with.
She pulled the kurta off the rack and turned around. The ease on his face faltered when he saw her walking towards them, holding it.
Kashvi stopped in front of him and, with shaking fingers, held the kurta up against his shoulder.
Malini’s eyes lit up. ‘Oh, Kashvi, this is exactly what he should wear. See, finally someone has sense.’
Swayam shook his head, a silent plea in his eyes locking onto hers.