Chapter 4 Ella
ELLA
The number of paparazzi loitering outside the Langford Holdings building is insane.
The sea of them barely parts enough for the driver to pull up to the curb and park, all the while the flashes from their cameras light up the inside of the car even through the morning light.
I startle as they bang on the windows, climb on the hood of the car, and swarm us from every angle until it feels like the car is buried under a pile of bodies.
“No one get out yet,” Jenkins says. “Robert is bringing additional officers. We need backup to get through this shit.”
A minute later, four more security officers arrive.
As soon as Waters opens the door, the camera flashes flicker in such quick succession, it’s like standing under a strobe light.
The security team makes a sort of tunnel, but we’re still pushed and jostled by the ravenous paps practically climbing over each other to get a shot.
But worse than that is the barrage of questions hurled my way.
“Did you cheat on your boyfriend for a chance at a billionaire?”
“How does it feel to have an ex-lover pull a gun on you?”
“Do you think Asher will stay with you now that you’re America’s Scarlett Woman?”
And it’s not just the paparazzi here, yelling at me. There’s a whole crowd of people gathered as well. Three women stand in a huddle alongside the paparazzi, holding up photos of me with red Xs covering my face, chanting, “Whore! Whore! Whore!”
It’s pandemonium, and I’m beyond relieved when I make it through the glass doors to the building and into the massive lobby. The security officers push out several paps who try to wriggle their way through, and then they are forced to lock the doors to keep everyone out.
My hands shake as I try to calm the adrenaline racing through my body, but I can’t quite manage it with the whispers and stares that greet me as soon as I enter the lobby.
Today is even worse than it was when my relationship with Asher went public.
But this is not the bright attention of a new relationship; this is a scandal bringing chaotic attention to the Langfords, and everyone in this building is all too aware of it.
I keep my head low and do my best to block it out and ignore it.
But it’s hard. I feel like an animal in a zoo the entire way to the office, and I know I won’t even get a reprieve once I’m working.
My coworkers knew there was some bad blood in my breakup with Kyle, but only Emily knew how bad things had been.
And now I not only have to face that part of the story, but I have to face the fact that Kyle threatened me with a gun to extort money from Asher as part of my job.
I’m just finally calming down when I pass by Asher’s office on my way to the conference room, but that changes when he calls out my name. I stop and turn toward him, letting out a frustrated breath as I do. Of course I couldn’t sneak by without him noticing.
“I need to see you in my office, Ella,” he says, and his voice holds no room for argument.
I internally groan. I don’t want to do this right now.
The only way I’m going to survive this dating charade is if we go back to what it was supposed to be in the beginning: outward affection for the sake of cameras, a united front in the office, and everything else in our lives stays professional and separate.
It’s a bit complicated living together, but I moved my things back up into the guest room, so at least there is some distance back in place.
But that won’t help me here. I may be able to push back against Asher at home, but in the office, that won’t work.
Reluctantly, I make my way into his office.
He practically lunges at me the second I’m through the door and wraps me in a hug.
“Are you okay? Were you hurt at all? I saw it all from my window.”
He’s asking about the paparazzi downstairs. Things like that give him major anxiety, and I know it probably stressed him out watching it from the windows and not being able to do anything about it.
“I’m fine. The security team got me through.”
I start to pull away, but Asher holds firm. He lowers his head and runs his lips along my jawline. Shivers race up my spine at his touch.
“What are you doing?” I whisper, pushing against him.
“I need to see for myself that you’re alright.”
“And now you have. I’ve got to get to work.”
He presses his lips to my temple.
“I asked for space, Asher.”
“That only counts at home. At work, we’re still a couple, remember? And this is how I would react to you nearly being stampeded by paps.”
He pulls back and takes my face in his hands.
His blue eyes burn with so much emotion it’s hard to distinguish what he’s thinking.
There’s a hint of smug victory on his face because he knows he’s got me on that point.
If this were real, Asher would be doting on me after my run in with the paparazzi downstairs, so if we didn’t share this moment, people in the office might question why.
But then again, most people that work on this floor know that our relationship is a farce, so I don’t know why he feels the need to keep it up.
But behind that hint of victory, sadness and pain bleed into his eyes and into the expression on his face.
He’s trying to mask it, but he isn’t fully succeeding.
And it guts me. I don’t know why, but since first meeting Asher, I’ve felt drawn to him in a way I’ve never been drawn to anyone before, and it’s like I can sense things inside him as if they were my own.
His pain is my pain, and I always want to take it away.
But this time I can’t. No matter how much I want to, I need to put boundaries back in place between us no matter how much it hurts us both.
I step back, and this time Asher lets me go, but I don’t miss the way his hands ball into fists at his sides.
“What are you doing here?” he asks a moment later. “You didn’t need to come in. Emily and the team can handle everything.”
“I wanted to come. This is too delicate. I trust the team, but I can’t sit back and not have a say in what goes out into the world.”
“If it’s like this tomorrow, I don’t want you to come in. I’ll send the team to you.”
“I don’t want to stay stuck in your penthouse anymore. I’ll go crazy.”
“Just until this situation dies down.”
“It’s fine, Asher. I’d rather be here at the office.
It’s too hard to be there . . .” I trail off.
I don’t want to admit to any more than I already have.
I don’t want him to know that I hate being there without him.
That I hate sleeping in a separate room.
That I don’t want the space I’ve demanded between us.
I don’t want any of it. But I need it. It’s the only way to protect myself.
Asher’s eyes light, and I don’t think I’ve fooled him.
He storms toward me, and I back up until I bump into his desk.
He grabs me by the waist and lifts me, then sets me down on his desk.
He leans down, and I’m forced to lean back on my hands.
Still, he moves into my space until there isn’t an inch left between us.
“I told you I’d give you space, but remember, I also told you this isn’t over.”
“You know why it needs to be over.”
“You know better than that, Ella,” his voice is low, almost menacing. “You know I’m not going to just let you go.”
He grabs my left hand. He holds it up and examines it, his eyes narrowing.
“You seem to be missing something on your finger.”
“And you seem to have forgotten that you can’t just sneak into my room while I’m sleeping.”
He chuckles. “You’re losing that room, so it’s a moot point.”
Now I narrow my eyes. “Losing that room?”
“I’m done with you sleeping upstairs, Ella. And I’m done with you pulling away from me. If I have to carry you downstairs and tie you to my bed, I will.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
He lifts a brow. “Wouldn’t I?”
Would he? Sometimes I’m not sure how far Asher would go to get what he wants. And right now, that’s me. The thought is both heady and slightly terrifying.
I bite my lip and shake my head, confusion whirring inside me.
“Please,” I whisper. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.
You know I feel the same way, but this is all too much.
You can’t do a real relationship, you’ve already admitted as much.
You’re still committed to ending things once the board is satisfied with your image.
And I . . . I don’t trust myself. I dated Kyle for three years, and he pulled a fucking gun on me.
I know now that I ignored a lot of red flags in our relationship, but still, I knew him for years and still didn’t see how messed up he was. ”
“I’m not Kyle,” Asher hisses, clearly offended.
“I know that,” I say, hurriedly. I move my body forward, and he backs up enough that we’re still close, but I’m able to sit up straight.
“I know you’d never do anything like that.
I’m not comparing you to him. But everything between you and me has happened so fast. In truth we hardly even know each other. ”
Asher’s jaw clenches. “Putting space between us will only make getting to know one another harder.”
“Ash—”
“What do you need from me?” he demands. “How can I change your mind?”
“I can’t risk falling for you when I know there’s only heartbreak waiting for me on the other side of this.”
He leans his forehead against mine and lets out a long, defeated breath. For once, he has no rebuttal. He knows I’m right. Neither of us knows what the future holds, and the deeper we fall, the harder it will hurt if things end badly.
I press a gentle kiss to his cheek then shift and start to scoot off the desk. Asher reluctantly moves aside, no longer trapping me between his legs, and I’m able to get back on my feet. Without another word, I make my way out of his office, holding back the tears burning in the backs of my eyes.
“Ella,” he calls out just as I make it to the door.
I turn, batting away a rogue tear.
“We’ll address us later, but I want you to remember one thing today: you have nothing to be ashamed of.
I saw you skirting past my office with your head lowered in embarrassment, and I won’t have that.
Not in my building. If anyone gives you a hard time, you let me know.
What’s going on between us is hard enough, and I want you to be able to put this shit with Kyle behind you.
Don’t give him or anyone else your worries.
This will blow over. You are my priority, not the story. Don’t forget that today.”
“Thanks,” I squeak, and I practically dart away for fear that if I don’t, I’ll run into his arms and do what I really want to, which is lose myself in him.