Chapter 20 Ella
ELLA
“Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” I ask Asher as we step into our bedroom. He’s been quiet and stoic ever since his run-in with Katrina. A heaviness hangs over him that others might not be able to detect, but I can.
He sits on the bed with a long sigh and runs his hands down his face.
“I need to tell you something, but I’m worried about how you’ll react.”
I tense at his words. Whatever is on his mind is clearly tormenting him, but I hope he knows that no matter what, I’ll always be there for him.
I run my fingers through his hair and tip his head up to look at me.
“What is it?”
“I did something tonight. Before I came home. That’s why I was late.”
“What did you do?”
“I . . . took care of Katrina’s brother, Dimitri.”
I pause as his words settle over me. “When you say you took care of him, what do you mean?”
“I killed him.”
A shock races up my spine and dread curls in my stomach.
“He was a drug addict,” Asher rasps out.
“Sergei has been trying to get him clean for over a decade. Not that that excuses what I did, but I warned Katrina that I would come after him if her family followed through with their threats. I told her the night she cornered me in the restaurant, and I sent more messages to her and Sergei that I was not bullshitting around. I warned them that if they made any moves against you, me, my family, or Greenspan, that I would retaliate. And Yegor and Sergei didn’t listen. ”
I swallow hard, trying to wrap my mind around Asher’s revelation.
“Most people would say I killed him in cold blood. And that’s true.
But when Dimitri wasn’t high, he was his father’s puppet just like Katrina.
And if anything, he was worse. He has a lot of blood on his own hands from years of taking out his father’s enemies.
So, it’s not like I killed a saint or anything, but I won’t lie and say it’s justified.
I killed him in retaliation and as a warning.
Sergei and Yegor have been under the impression that I won’t hit back effectively because I won’t dirty my hands.
And now they know how wrong they are. I don’t want to hurt or kill, but I will if it’s a matter of protecting my family.
And I don’t feel an ounce of guilt over it. A heaviness, yes. But not guilt.”
Asher finally looks at me. His face is set with determination but also worry. Worry for how I’ll react to his truths.
He runs his hands through his hair and almost seems to be holding his breath. “I understand if this is too much for you. I won’t ask you to be with me if this is a line you can’t abide.”
He blinks rapidly, his throat bobbing on a swallow as he hangs his head.
My heart races as I try to sort through everything he’s just said.
Is this too much for me? Is this line too far?
I don’t know.
I know the answer should be yes.
Does it make me a bad person that it’s not an immediate yes?
I pace the room, my breaths coming in shallow, my thoughts fracturing in a million directions. Asher is so quiet, so controlled about his admission, it makes me wonder . . .
“Have you done something like this before?” I whisper, halting my pacing.
He looks at me briefly before giving a guilty nod.
“Once, when a man attacked my mother. Another time, when a man attacked Sterling, back when he was a teenager.”
I sit at the table in the corner, needing space to think.
“I don’t relish violence, Ella. I really don’t. But the money, the fame, and the power our family has makes us targets. Sometimes, I have to use violence against violence to keep my family safe.”
“How do you deal with that? How are you not freaking out right now?”
Asher sighs. “As I said, there is a heaviness in taking a life. I won’t deny it.
But not guilt. Not when those I’ve killed have hurt my family or were willing to kill me or my family without a second thought.
I would never hurt someone without cause.
Every bad thing I’ve done was in the name of protecting those I love. ”
I can see the truth blazing in his blue eyes, and it helps to stem the tide of confusion inside me.
I know Asher’s heart. And I know he is not the type of man who craves blood or violence. I know he wants to do good in the world. And I believe him when he says he’s only acted in defense of his family.
Can I live with this?
I don’t know what it says about me, but I think I can.
I stand and make my way over to Asher. His face is lined with apprehension, so I reach out and cup his cheek with my hand. I lift it until his eyes meet mine.
“I’m with you, Asher. I may not like this, and if I’m being honest, it scares me. But it doesn’t change anything. I can see that this isn’t what you want. You’ve been forced into this, and you’re doing what you must to keep yourself, your family, and me safe.”
He shakes his head lightly. “Just myself and my family.”
I furrow my brows. “What?”
“You said I’m keeping myself, my family, and you safe. But you are my family, Ella. Not officially yet. But that doesn’t matter. You are my world. And nothing is more important than keeping you safe.”
“Just promise me that you’ll never cross the line. Don’t lose yourself in whatever you do to fight against Sergei and Yegor.”
“I promise.” He says it with such raw honesty, such conviction, that I know he means it with everything that he is.
“But,” he says through a heavy sigh, “this means things will need to tighten up again. Sergei won’t let this stand.”
“We have the Hamptons coming up this weekend,” I remind him. “And there are several engagements you are required to attend with me.”
“I’ll find a way to make it work, but security will be severe. I’m warning you now. I won’t risk you for some bullshit social outings, I don’t care what the board says.”
I crawl onto Asher’s lap, hiking up my dress to my hips so I can straddle him. I take his face in my hands as he grips my hips.
“As long as we’re in it together, I’ll deal with it. Whatever security needs to do to keep us safe is fine with me. But you’re going to be in it with me, Mr. Langford.”
Asher brushes his nose along mine. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Ms. Hale.”
Monday morning, we again pull up in a car to a veritable hoard of paparazzi, this time outside the Langford Holdings building.
“Is everything in place?” Asher asks Matthew over speakerphone as the car comes to a stop.
“Yes. All board members except Sterling are here in the conference room, as well as the PR team.”
“Good. See you in five.”
A crowd of paparazzi and bystanders have gathered outside because the family outing to the symphony did exactly what I wanted it to do—it garnered a shitload of attention.
The photos are still amassing millions of clicks, and the paparazzi are trying to ride that out for more.
And that’s not even taking into account the interaction Asher had with Katrina, which is also breaking headlines.
“Ready?” Asher asks me with a smirk as security steps up to the car.
“I’m ready.”
The shouts hit us the second we’re out of the car, just like they did at the symphony.
“Asher, is Ella the one!”
“Will there be a wedding in the future!”
“Does Catherine approve!”
“What do you plan to do about Katrina’s stalking?”
Asher and I walk hand in hand into the building, ignoring the torrent of questions and shouts hurled our way.
“Are you okay?” I whisper to Asher once we’re in the elevator and have a bit of privacy. “I know we talked about it privately, but I don’t want the public marriage talk to freak you out.”
He taps my nose, and I realize I was scrunching it again. But he’s smiling, so I take it as a good sign.
“It doesn’t freak me out. I knew it would happen.”
I raise my brows. “You did?”
“People have been speculating about my future bride for damn near twenty years, so of course you being photographed with my mother would spark rumors.”
“And you’re not upset?”
“No, I’m used to it.” He leans down to speak in my ear. “And to be honest, I like it.”
Butterflies flip inside me. “You like it?”
“If the rumors and stories are about you being my future wife, then I like it.”
My eyes bulge and I want to respond, but I don’t know what the hell to say. The elevator arrives on our floor before I muster a response.
Asher takes me by the hand and leads me into the smaller conference room where the board members are seated around the table and the PR team is sprinkled in chairs along the back wall.
Declan and Harrington are the only ones not seated as they stand next to the door as if waiting for Asher and me to arrive.
“Hello, future sister-in-law,” Declan booms as soon as he sees me.
Then he practically tears me out of Asher’s grip and pulls me into a big bear hug, lifting me off the floor.
Asher is tall at six-foot-three, but Declan is the biggest of the Langford boys at six-foot-five, so it’s quite the lift when he raises me to his level for the hug.
“By the way, I’m calling dibs on best man for the wedding, and I already have ideas for the festivities leading up to it. ”
“Is that so?” I chuckle.
“It’s definitely so.”
“Put her down, dumbass,” Asher growls.
“What?” Declan says once I’m back on my feet. “I’ve never had a sister before, I’m excited. Is that a crime?”
Asher rolls his eyes, and Harrington laughs under his breath.
“We could use another woman’s touch in the Langford clan,” Declan says. “Fuck knows mom could use an ally.”
“Oh, she’s already all over it,” Asher sighs.
I furrow my brows at him. “What do you mean?”
He flashes me a shy smile. “She’s dying to spend more time with you after the symphony. She called me this morning about scheduling a girls’ day. She never got to shop for a girl or do girl things, so she’s kind of chomping at the bit to do that with you.”
My stomach flips in excitement. “Really?”
“Really. But she wasn’t sure if you’d want to do that with her since you have your mom, so she called me to see what I thought about it.”