Chapter 9
I sat in my office staring at my laptop, but honestly, I hadn’t processed a single thing on the screen in the last twenty minutes.
My mind was everywhere. Between upcoming conferences, work deadlines, staff schedules, and trying to balance being a mom on top of all of that, I just feel exhausted.
Completely drained. I had notes all over my desk and didn’t even have the chance work on any of those tasks.
My planner was full with reminders. My emails kept going off every five minutes.
I needed a break, and I decided to just sit here for a minute.
Jaz and I were supposed to go to dinner tonight, but I honestly didn’t think I had the energy. Something just felt off, and it felt like my body had done a shift. I rubbed my hand over my face before grabbing my phone and texting her.
Me: Friend, I think I’ma stay in tonight. I don’t really feel good.
Seconds later my phone started ringing.
“Hey,” I greeted, placing the call on hold.
“Girl, what’s wrong?” Jaz questioned.
“I don’t know. I’m just starting to feel really exhausted, dizzy, and nauseated,” I told her.
“You been overworking yourself again.”
“Maybe.” I sighed.
“Well, cancel all that overthinking shit tonight,” Jaz said.
“Go home, take a bath, eat something, and relax. And stop stressing yourself out. You know what? I’m coming to pick you up.
Pack it up; you’re going home for the day.
You can leave the car at your job.” Jaz let out all in one breath, and I knew she meant business.
As crazy as my friend was, she always had my best interest at heart. She would drop everything for me and Hanii.
“You carry too much by yourself, and we gotta figure this shit out.”
Her words sat with me, and everything she was saying was right.
She told me she was on her way, and I sent my manager a message, letting him know I was leaving for the day.
I sat back and just relaxed for a moment.
I opened my desk drawer, and my notebook was sitting right there on top.
Without even thinking, I instantly pulled it out.
Somehow writing Legacy was one thing that calmed my mind. It gave me this serene peace.
About thirty minutes later, Jaz had texted me saying that she was outside.
I grabbed my things and left out. I might even take tomorrow off just so that I can rest. Kasia is going to bring my car to me when she gets off.
She said Nina dropped her off today because she needed to use her car.
So, that worked out. Jaz went by Five Guys and got us some lunch before we headed to my house.
She already had her overnight bag, so she had no plans on going back home.
Knowing her, she will be there for a while.
Jaz and I finally made it back to the house, and the second she pulled into the driveway, I frowned seeing a box sitting on my porch.
“What the hell is that? I didn’t order anything.” I was confused as hell, but maybe I did order something and forgot.
We grabbed our things, went into the house and headed straight to the living room.
I dropped my purse onto the couch and started for the kitchen but got a little bit dizzy so I took a seat while Jaz grabbed the box and was reading the mailing label.
Her ass looked over and instantly started grinning suspiciously.
“Ohhh, this is it,” she said, shaking the box in excitement and quickly opened it..
“An ancestry kit? What the hell is that for?” I asked her.
“Fev. Remember last week when I told you that I did one to see if I got some Indian in my family? ’Cause you know I wanna have a lil’ Indian in me. I think that’s where my baby hairs come from.”
I instantly burst out laughing because, girl what!
“But anywho,” she continued, waving me off. “We talked about you and everything you been through. Remember I said you should try it.”
My smile slowly faded as I looked back down at the box.
Honestly… I didn’t know how to feel about that shit.
My mother gave me away and left me out here to figure life out on my own.
After that, it was foster home after foster home.
The woman who originally took me in passed away when I was three years old, and after that, life became one long cycle of temporary homes and terrible people.
Some of those places were pure hell. Ms. Brenda took me in when I was thirteen, and I stayed there until I turned eighteen, but even she was mean as hell to me. We barely even spoke now.
“Jaz, I don’t know. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone. I don’t wanna open wounds that’ll hurt me all over again. I finally found peace with a lot of that.”
Her face softened instantly.
“I know, babe. But think about Hanii. Think about the bigger picture in all of this.”
I stayed quiet while staring at the box in my lap.
“Listen, if we find them and they ain’t shit, we can walk away. Orrrrr we can find them and beat they ass for what they did to you.” She shrugged, and I burst out laughing.
“Jaz!”
“I’m serious!” she yelled. “You know I’ll beat a bitch in the face behind you. Oh, yeah, and when I see that ugly pie-face ass nigga Chauncey again, I’ma cuss his ass clean out. I still can’t believe you ain’t call me that night y’all ran into each other.”
Jaz hated Chauncey with a passion. Honestly, everybody who loved me did.
“Okay. I’ll take it.” I sighed. “Did you ever get yours back?” I asked.
“Nah. It take like six to eight weeks,” she stated.
“Okay. Once we finish this, I’m taking a nap. Then later we can figure out dinner.”
“Nah, you rest. I’ll grab us something later.
I gotta pick Hanii up from school in a little while anyway and take her to Five Below.
This lil’ girl know how to hustle me outta money.
And we not gon’ talk about . She think they’re supposed to load the truck up and make sure they got some shit on there for her daily.
Da fuck! Me and that lil girl gotta set some boundaries. ” She shook her head.
I smiled just thinking about my baby girl.
“Yeah,” I laughed. “She know not to play with me though.”
Jaz whipped her neck in my direction so damn quick, I know that shit hurt.
“I know you fuckin’ lyin’! That lil girl got yo ass wrapped around her whole damn body.
Fuck a finger.” We both fell out laughing.
I guess now was as good of a time to ask Jaz for a favor.
It was something that I thought about last night.
Didn’t know how she would feel about it. But it was worth the try.
“Jaz, I need for you to do me a favor. It’s a big one, so please hear me out.” I smiled. “Fev, don’t come out yo mouth asking me to give up pussy ’cause I ain’t doing it. I love pussy and pussy love me. Ask me anything else, and I'm on it, but not the pussy,” she said with her face twisted up.
“Jaz, shut yo ass up. I need for you to try and convince your dad to review Legacy’s artwork. Please, Jaz. Your dad is the biggest art dealer in the world, and his connections are bigger than life. Pleaaseee,” I pleaded.
“Hell nawl! 'Cause if I ask his Caucasian-Italiano ass for a favor, he gon’ think we cool cool. And even though I love him ’cause he be sending me my bread every month, don’t mean I wanna be cool enough to have dinner and stay the night with him and that lady.
You doing too much, Fev. Asking me to hang with them is like asking me to give up the pussy. They go hand in hand,” she fussed.
“Please. fren! I’ll put a good word in with Lana.” I smirked, ’cause I knew that would get her. She’s been trying to get at her for the longest. Lana works for me, and she’s into men and women.
“Oh, bihhh. You playing hardball. You better hook me up too. I’ll do it, and you better leave me the hell alone about them folk for the rest of the year. Seeing them on the holidays is good enough for me. Send me his work that you stole.” She sighed
“Thank you, best!” I was so excited.
Eventually, I completed the test while Jaz packaged everything back up so she could mail it off for me.
After she left, I headed upstairs for a quick shower before crawling in bed.
The rain was still falling softly outside while my notebook rested open in front of me.
Once again, I found myself thinking about Legacy Porter while reaching for my pen.