Chapter 41 Mable
Mable
As far as I knew, some time had passed. I was vaguely aware that two of the guys came home.
I immediately recognized Devin’s scent, followed by Percy’s.
I’d anchored myself to them like a life raft.
It had slowly gotten more bearable to be alive, and though I was nearly back to my old self, it still felt like something was missing.
They’re not all home.
Saint and Jasper were still at the game and hadn't returned home yet.
Percy and Devin were doing their best to look after me, but they weren't exactly saying much.
Within hours of them being back, I felt a million times better, though.
It was crazy how quickly I went from feeling like a corpse to feeling human again.
I had finally persuaded both of them to go shower and change, after they had been looking after me for a good twenty-four hours, when I picked up my phone and opened an Internet browser.
Separation sickness.
I needed to know if what I had was permanent.
Maybe if this was a short-term thing during my pregnancy, we could cope with it, but the guys needed to leave at least every other week for their away games.
They couldn’t quit, and I had no intention of going through that again, because that headache and disorientation had been straight from hell.
I honestly believed it would have felt nicer to be rammed in the head with an ice pick.
Breathe, Mable. Don’t make it worse.
Even though I was feeling miles better, my body still felt heavy with a lethargic ache that stretched from the top of my skull all the way down to my toes.
I wasn’t a drinker, but I could guess this might be what a really bad hangover felt like.
And if so, why the hell did people put themselves through this?
Although I knew that searching the Internet wasn't the best option for research—I probably needed to speak to my doctor as soon as possible—I wanted to do a cursory search for myself before I got my alphas involved.
I was like that, needing all the information myself as soon as possible so I could understand and assess.
Unfortunately, almost every article I read emphasized how severe separation sickness could be.
Each paragraph made my heart sink even further.
Avoiding the sickness required the alphas, and it could come back with a vengeance.
I had no control over it, either. The sensation of being trapped was beginning to crush me.
What could I do? I was stuck beneath the wills of these alphas and their careers.
And some medical condition that had the gall to exist. Stupid.
There seemed to be some medical options, but they were usually recommended only in the case of a pregnant omega who’d lost her alphas.
That thought sent a chill down my spine. I wanted a little bit of space, sure. But I didn't want to lose my alphas entirely.
So, medications could lessen the symptoms of separation sickness. They weren't nearly as effective as actually having my alphas near me for preventing or curing it, but they could help me in transitioning to being able to spend time away from them.
That is…if that's what I truly wanted.
Sighing, I lay back in my nest, squinting at the small screen.
What did I want? I was a volatile mess of hormones and emotions, and what I wanted seemed to change every two minutes.
I hated feeling so off-kilter. I was usually much calmer and more rational than this.
It was like my body was betraying me, and I literally had no control over it.
It was doing all this without my permission, like it didn’t really belong to me.
And that said nothing of what the stress was doing to the baby. As if the crushing anxiety and frustration weren’t enough, I was battling with extreme mom guilt, and the baby wasn’t even here yet.
Amazing. I’m going to be a terrible mother.
The corner of my screen lit up with a notification from one of my socials. It was California Charger-related, so I clicked on it out of curiosity. I’d recently been following the team in an attempt to get to know and understand their jobs better.
Instantly, I saw an image from the latest game, the game that was going on while I was almost deathly sick and felt like my head was going to explode.
It was Saint, surrounded by a crowd of fangirls reaching out for him, likely screaming his name and begging for a kiss. My alpha was beaming from ear to ear and lapping up the attention.
My stomach sank. I glanced at the caption.
His pack mates may have had to leave early, but Saint was thoroughly enjoying the attention after they left. With two of his pack mates temporarily off the ice, more attention for him!
It dawned on me that these images were taken after they knew I was sick.
My stomach turned to lead, and I swallowed several times, attempting to calm myself down.
Their job was intense, and walking away wasn’t an option. I hated seeing the photos of him like that, but I understood it was part of the job. That didn't mean I enjoyed it.
Breathe, Mable. Breathe. He’s just…he’s just doing his job. He’s not…Saint doesn’t care about them. He’s not actually having fun. As much…as much as it looks like it.
Rubbing my stomach, I grumbled to myself. They had to prioritize their job, and I needed to prioritize my health for a while. Looking at my phone again, I swiped to the contacts. I had been putting off a call that I should make, and maybe now was the best time to make it.
***
When Percy finally returned, I forced myself to remain neutral. He climbed into the bed, smiling at me as he pulled me into his arms. “What’s running through your head? I can practically see the cogs turning behind your eyes.”
I bit my lip before taking a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word what I wanted to say. Percy seemed to understand immediately that I was being serious about something, so he sat up straighter, his brow furrowing.
“How would you guys feel if I went to stay with my mother until the baby was born?” I rushed to say.
Percy’s face dropped and the nagging feeling in my gut doubled down.
“W-why would you want to do that?”
I swallowed a lump forming in my throat.
God, I didn’t want to do this. “Well, you guys can't just quit your jobs, and if you keep going to away games and leaving me here, I could get sicker and sicker, and I don't think that's very good for the baby.
It would only be temporary until the baby's born, and then we can…reassess where we stand. My mom can be there for me…”
“We're going to be here for you,” he insisted, his eyes wide as his brows pinched together.
I bit my lip. Percy wanted to be there for me. More than that, I knew they all wanted to be there for me, that they wanted more than anything to support me. I didn't doubt that. But we weren’t bonded, and this was all so new.
“What we want, and the reality of our situation seems to be a little different at the moment…”
Percy shook his head, with a desperate look on his face. “Please give us a little time to sort this out. Don't make any decisions right away, okay? Please. I swear to you. We can figure this out.”
I sighed, my chest pinching as my eyes began to burn. “I'm going to give birth soon, and I want to be ready. There isn’t much time to—”
“A week. Give me one week. Please, Mable.”
I met his eyes, taking in the desperation and worry reflected in the blue depths. I wasn't exactly sure what a week could do, but Percy looked pained by the thought of me leaving, so I nodded.
“Okay,” I whispered, and he pulled me into a fraught hug, burying his face in my neck like I might pop like a soap bubble and disappear.