Chapter 17
ARIZONA
Ilay in bed on Friday night—anxious and unable to fall asleep. There was a light rain falling outside my window, and rounds of thunder were roaring in the distance.
My heart was begging me to text Carter, to ask what he was up to and if he wanted to come over, but my brain overruled it. Mostly because he’d just left my house a few hours ago.
God, I can’t be this infatuated with him.
I rolled over and grabbed my headphones, thinking that maybe music would be all I needed to fall asleep, but then my phone vibrated.
Carter
Hey. What are you up to?
Attempting to fall asleep. You?
Same. Would you like to go somewhere tonight?
Absolutely.
I’ll pick you up in twenty.
Practically jumping out of bed, I slipped into an old summer dress and flats. I pulled my hair into a low ponytail and decided to put on a little makeup. I brushed some shimmery pink eyeshadow over my eyelids and accented my eyes with mascara.
Just as I was putting on lipstick, Carter sent me a text—letting me know he was outside.
I looked myself over one last time and grabbed my purse before running downstairs.
“You’re meeting me at the door now?” I stepped back once I opened it, shocked to see him standing there. “You normally wait in the car.”
“You’re putting on makeup now?” He smirked, lightly tracing the crease of my left eyelid with his fingertips. “You usually don’t wear any, if it’s just you and me.”
“I was already wearing makeup. I was trying a few different looks in the mirror.”
“I thought you were attempting to go to sleep.”
I blushed and looked away, caught in an easy lie.
He let up an umbrella and held it over my head. “You want to walk along the beach?”
“No,” I said, dodging puddles as he led me to his car. “Even if it wasn’t raining, hell no.”
“Why not?”
“Because you and late night strolls on the beach never end well for the girl.”
“Fair enough.” He laughed. “What about the movies?”
“We did that yesterday.”
“Yes, but we didn’t actually watch the movie. Maybe we can actually try to pay attention to it this time.”
I fastened my seatbelt, now remembering how one second, we’d been sharing popcorn in an empty theater, and the next, he’d had me in his lap—saying his name until the credits rolled.
“No to the movies,” I said. “I don’t trust you. What’s the best place you think you’ve ever taken one of your um …”
“Girlfriends?”
“Yeah.” I realized we still weren’t attempting to address what we were. “What about that nice grove where you took Sarah? Oh! And didn’t you take Emily to that old train station? I remembered you telling me you loved that, so maybe there? Or what about where you took—”
“Stop.” He leaned over and pressed his finger against my lips. “You know how we’ve somehow adopted the unspoken rule that we’re not telling anyone that we’re having sex, how we’re continuing to hang out with our other friends—pretending like we’re not fucking each other recklessly every night?”
I nodded, unable to keep the redness on my cheeks from forming.
“Okay,” he said, lowering his voice. “Well, even though I tell you everything—and I do mean everything, I have a new, unspoken rule of my own: the last thing I honestly want to do when I’m out with you is talk about what I did with someone else.
So, whenever we’re together, from here on out, we’re not going to talk about anyone outside of us. Okay?”
I blushed again. “Okay.”
He drove out of my neighborhood and onto the main streets, holding my hand in his lap.
“What time does the docking section of the pier normally close?”
“Midnight, sometimes one o’clock, if the employees feel like it.”
As we approached a red-light, he looked over at me. “Well, since you work at the marina—”
“Worked.” I cut him off. “I think I got fired today.”
“What? How do you ‘think’ you got fired?”
“It was my turn to take a break first for a change and I took it. I just never went back.”
Laughing, he squeezed my hand. “Good for you. I was actually going to ask if you’d ever been on one of your company’s boat tours.”
“No,” I said. “Ironic, huh?”
“Very, and I think we should fix that. Would you like to go on one?”
I nodded and he made a U-turn—speeding off into the night toward the other side of town. When we got there, we had to rush to the box office to buy tickets before they closed.
I silently thanked God that neither my manager nor Ashley were working tonight. Instead, it was the tour guide himself, and since it was raining, he said we would be the only people aboard.
Undaunted by the small audience, he recited the trivia enthusiastically as the boat sailed across the dark Atlantic. He even gave us free drinks during the lags when there wasn’t much to say, acknowledging that most of his jokes were terrible, but we laughed anyway.
Carter’s arm went around my shoulder halfway through the tour and remained there for the rest of the ride. And every now and then, for no reason at all, he would tilt my chin up and kiss my lips for several minutes at a time.
“And now …” The tour guide said, as the captain steered the boat near a small island of lights.
“This is Infinity Island. In the daytime, you’d normally be able to see people out and about and lounging on the sand, but it’s too dark now.
” He looked at his watch. “I usually pause the tour here and let the tourists get up and take pictures for about twenty minutes before the next stop.”
Carter and I exchanged confused glances.
“So, for my OCD purposes, I’m still going to have the captain stop here.
” He laughed. “Feel free to tour the boat and be back in twenty for the rest.” He put down his mic and took out an e-reader, speaking into the small radio that was attached to his jacket.
“Twenty-minute stop, Barney. Three more stops and then we’re done for the night.
” He held the reader up to his face and ignored us.
“Okay.” Carter took my hand and stood up. “Maybe you can give me a tour of the boat?”
“You’d probably know more than I do. I have no idea where anything is.”
“They didn’t teach you anything about the boat itself in your orientation?”
“They probably did, but I’m pretty sure I was reading a cooking magazine instead of the information manual that day.”
Laughing, he pressed his hand against the small of my back, and we walked up to the top level where there was no covering. The rain was still falling—drizzling slightly, and we couldn’t see anything in the distance.
I took out my phone and handed it to him. “Would you mind taking a picture of me? I want to remember this.” I stepped in front of the railing.
“Night vision?”
“Yep.” I smiled, holding it for the camera, but his finger didn’t press the button. He was staring at me, looking confused. “Um …” I said. “Do I need to explain how a cell phone works? Have you forgotten?”
“No.” He walked over to me and pulled me against his side. Then he held the camera above us. “Let me know when to press the button. I want to remember this, too.”
“Oh …” I smiled. “On three. One … Two … Thr—”
He kissed my lips and snapped the photo at the same time.
“Is that good enough?” he asked, handing my phone back to me.
“No.” I was still smiling. “I think I need a few more of those before we go back.”
“Photos or kisses?”
“Both.”
He pulled me close again and took three more, and then he led me toward the other side of the ship—where there was an antique style café. I thought he was going to open the door, so we could take pictures inside, but he didn’t.
Instead he grabbed my hands and held them above my head, pushing me against the door with his hips.
“We have ten minutes before we have to get back.” He dipped his head to my neck and gently bit my skin. “Do you think they’ll mind if we take a little longer?”
I murmured “No …” as he looked into my eyes, as he slowly hiked up my dress and made love to me against the door. Softly. Gently. Less reckless than before.
I screamed his name across the darkness, coming apart in his arms, and he took his time kissing me again and again, until I felt like going back for the rest of the tour.
The boat had already started to move, and the tour guide didn’t seem to mind how late we were when we rejoined him downstairs. By the way Carter pulled me into his lap and kissed me for the rest of it, I was sure that he knew what we’d been up to.
When we arrived back to the pier, we walked along the beach and talked for hours about absolutely nothing. I didn’t want our conversation to end, but as the sun rose, I could feel myself getting tired, so he picked me up (tossed me over his shoulder) and took me home.
As if that date sealed it, the next few nights weren’t even a question.
He texted me and told me what time he was picking me up, and we went out together.
Still uncomfortable showing affection in front of people we knew, we saved those moments for when we were alone, and our friends never knew anything different.
The things we normally did together felt new and exciting, no matter how hard we tried to pretend like they were the same.
Those “you can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch” courtesies were now completely invalid; even though we always ended up in each other’s arms at some point in the night, we never discussed it in the morning.
I was pretty sure I loved him, and not in the way I loved him before.
This was different. This was “I needed to have him every hour of the day,” “be around him whenever I could”, and “do whatever I could to have him” type of way.
From the way he looked at me, I could tell he felt the same.