Chapter 17
RHYTHM brOOKS
KJ woke me up from a real good nap. He was bouncing on my bed on his knees like it was a trampoline and yelling my name like the building was on fire. “Ma! Ma! Wake up!”
I groaned and pulled the blanket higher over my head. “KJ… please. I told you I need to take a nap.”
My body felt heavy. I was exhausted from the weekend.
My mother had relieved Joi and spent the night with my kids Saturday night.
So, I had been out clubbing with Sincere and the Cartiers.
I’d come home earlier and relieved her, and now it was Sunday afternoon, and I was trying to sneak in a nap while Kinsley napped.
“Ma!” he called out, giggling while pulling on the cover.
I stuck my head out from under the blanket, eyes half open. “What, boy?”
He shoved his phone in my face. “Look!”
I blinked hard because the brightness from his screen hurt my eyes.
On the screen was the Instagram reel of my live painting at the show. The view count had tripled since the last time I saw it. It was sitting right under a million, and every time the screen refreshed, it jumped again.
I stared at it in amazement.
KJ’s eyes were wide and shining. “Ma! You almost got a million views! And your followers,” he said, flipping the screen around and jabbing at it with his finger. “Look! It keep going up. You’re going viral!”
My mouth went dry as I stared at the numbers. My notifications were stacked. I had so many comments, shares, and new followers. People were tagging other people in the reel. People were asking where they could buy the piece.
KJ bounced again. “You famous, Ma. Like real famous.”
I smiled bashfully. “I’m not famous.”
“Yes, you is! You got almost a million views. That’s famous. That’s like when that kid be dancing on TikTok and everybody know him.”
I stared at the screen again, then at my son.
His face was pure pride, like he was looking at me the way kids look at superheroes.
That made tears sting my eyes. He didn’t know all the nights I cried over bills.
He didn’t know how many times I wanted to quit.
He just knew his mama was winning, and that was the only reason I ever wanted this.
I pulled him into me and kissed his cheek hard. “Thank you for waking me up and showing me this, baby.”
He giggled and tried to squirm away, but I held him tighter for a second because I needed it. “You and Kinsley are the reason I do all of this,” I whispered into his hair.
KJ went still for half a beat, then pulled back like he remembered something important. “Can we have pizza?”
I smiled through the lump in my throat. “Yeah. In a little while.”
His whole face lit up. “Yes!” He hopped off the bed and sprinted out of the room like he was about to place the order himself. “Thank you, Ma!”
Now that I was up, I reached for my phone on the nightstand and unlocked it. My notifications were insane. Then I saw a text from Aria.
Aria: We need to do prints of the live piece ASAP. With that reel going crazy, we can move prints online immediately. Call me when you’re up.
I stared at it for a second, then started typing back.
Me: I’m up. I can’t believe this. Yes, let’s do prints. Tell me what you need from me.
Before I could hit send, my phone started ringing in my hand.
I cringed when I saw that it was Kodi. He’d been texting and calling all weekend.
I’d ignored every attempt. I’d been away for days, and Joi had been with my kids, so I knew it was obvious to him now that I was with a man.
And Kodi could feel himself getting replaced.
That was why he was blowing my phone up like this.
I stared at his name flashing across the screen until it stopped.
But then Kodi’s name flashed across my screen again.
I stared at it for a second, breathing through the irritation.
I understood his frustration. I’d been with Kodi for twelve years.
It had to be hard for him to picture me with anyone else.
For most of our lives, it had been me and him in some form, even when we weren’t together.
I would’ve felt guilty if I never gave him the opportunity to mature and grow with me.
But I did. I gave him twelve years, and he didn’t do anything with them but sell dime bags of weed and stay stuck in the same mindset.
Still, twelve years is history. Kodi was like family.
That was what made this worse. I hated that we weren’t getting along.
I wanted us to be cool. I wanted us to co-parent without all of this tension.
So, I answered. “Yes, Kodi?”
“So, you been fucking somebody this whole time?”
“Kodi,” I called calmly. “I’m not doing this with you.”
“That’s why you stopped fucking with me! You think I’m stupid?”
“I’m not arguing with you, Kodi. Why does it have to be like this? Why can’t we get along for the kids?”
He laughed. “You want us to be cool? You’ve been mine for most of our lives. Ain’t no switching up.”
“That’s my problem with you,” I said. “You’re immature. You don’t own me.”
“Yes, I do,” he shot back.
“No, you don’t. And you didn’t take care of me like you owned me. You didn’t love me like you owned me. You just wanted access when it was convenient.”
“I was a good nigga. I took care of you and my kids,” he argued.
“You did the best you could for us. You showed up. You provided in the way you knew how. I won’t take that from you.
But you didn’t support me emotionally. You didn’t build with me.
You didn’t grow. Taking care of a family means maturing.
It means realizing those small hustles aren’t going to take care of a woman and two kids forever. ”
He cut me off. “Man, shut up with all that bullshit.”
I laughed to myself quietly. “And your response is the reason we are not together...”
But, of course, he ignored that point. “So, who is he? Who you letting hit? That’s why you talking to me like this now.”
I exhaled slowly. “This isn’t about another man. This is about me being done with us. I love you for the history we have. I love you because you’re the father of my kids. I want us to get along for them. That’s it.”
“Your new nigga and this art shit got you thinking you the shit. You done changed.”
I groaned under my breath. “Kodi, you’re not listening. I hope you grow up one day. I hope it’s soon. Because I would like for us to be friends. For real.”
“We will never be friends,” he growled. “And you and that pussy will always belong to me.”
Disgusted, I scoffed. “Goodbye, Kodi.”
I ended the call amid him cursing me out. “Fuck you, Rhy—"
I sat there breathing hard, trying to collect myself. I refused to let Kodi ruin the dreamy weekend I’d just had, but remorse crept in anyway.
For years, I’d dreamed about me and Kodi finally getting to a place where we weren’t robbing Peter to pay Paul. I wanted stability. I wanted ease. I wanted to stop doing mental math at the grocery store and stop pushing off big purchases because something always came up.
And back when I loved him the way you love somebody you built your whole life around, my dreams included him too. When I used to imagine my art blowing up, I pictured taking that money and helping both of our lives change for the better. I pictured us growing up together.
But fate decided that wasn’t how it was going to go.
Now it probably looked to him like I was leaving him behind. But he had given me no choice. I didn’t walk away because I wanted to hurt him. I walked away because he refused to grow with me and then tried to control me when he realized he couldn’t.
My phone rang again.
I groaned and glanced at the screen, already assuming it was Kodi. But it was Sincere.
Relief hit me so fast my shoulders dropped.
I answered. “Hey.”
He was quiet for half a second. Then he said, “I’m not your friend.”
I blinked slowly, confused. “Huh?”
“I’m not your friend,” he repeated, but now his voice was so deeply sultry. “So, don’t greet me with that dry ‘hey’. I’m your man. Greet me properly.”
I paused. Then I smiled, even though I had just been stressed out. “Hey, baby.”
He chuckled, as if he were holding back a blush. “That’s better.”
I sat up a little straighter. “Wait a minute. So, I’m your girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” he said like it was obvious.
“Then ask me properly,” I teased.
He laughed again, deeper this time. “I will.”
I allowed the silence to go by for a second or two. Then I said, “I’m waiting.”
“I’ll do it on my own time, Woman,” he laughed. “You really trying to boss me?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling. “And I know you like it.”
He went quiet for a beat, then I heard him breathe out, amused. “I do.”
I had to pinch myself because it didn’t feel real that a man like Sincere just claimed me.
Kodi’s claim over me came with control and ego, like ownership.
Sincere saying it felt different. It felt chosen.
It felt earned. It felt safe. Like he wasn’t claiming me to keep me small, but to stand beside me while I grew.