Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty- Seven
I slept for most of the two-and-half-hour train trip to London and arrived just after midday. Floating on a cloud of wonderful, I walked to my home in Soho.
The three-story, brown-bricked townhouse was incredibly ugly on the outside, and the elderly couple who’d bought it in the 1970s hadn’t done anything to improve the internal appeal either. Fortunately for me, they struggled to use the stairs, and once their children had moved out, they opened the loft on the top floor for rent.
I pushed through the front door, and upon smelling sausages cooking, made my way to the kitchen at the back of the building. Edna had her back to me and was hunched over the stove. “Hello, Edna.”
She turned with a pained smile. Edna was in her eighties and was riddled with arthritis. Nearly every movement hurt. “How are you, love?”
“I’m good, thanks. How about you?”
“Oh, you know. Some parts good. Some parts bad. How was your trip?”
We made small talk for about ten minutes, and after declining her offer of bangers and mash for dinner, I made my way up the two flights of stairs.
My room was just that . . . one room containing my bed, a small table, and one chair. There was a tiny kitchenette with a freestanding cupboard that held my microwave and stored a mismatched collection of crockery and cutlery Edna had given me and a tiny fridge that was nearly always empty.
A set of three drawers just inside the door housed all my clothes, and I shared the bathroom on the second floor with Edna and Dave. Fortunately, our different schedules meant I rarely bumped into them.
A stack of books made into a steeple in the corner of my room was my only attempt at decorating.
The best aspect of my room was the balcony. It was so small it barely fit a chair, but the view encompassed red terracotta rooftops on a row of terrace housing, and down the street was a small park with a huge English oak tree that was reported to be more than six hundred years old. It was the only greenery in sight.
I tried to visit the tree at least once during each of my breaks. Maybe this break, I’d actually take my book and soak up some sunshine. Weather permitting, of course.
I flopped onto the bed and inhaled long and deep. My head spun in long, lazy circles as I replayed all my wonderful experiences this month. It was hard to believe I’d only been away for twenty days; it felt like months.
I jumped at the sound of my phone ringing and dashed for my bag.
Roman’s name was on the screen, and a smile swept across my lips as I pressed the green button. “Hey, Roman.”
“ Ciao , Daisy. Stai bene ?”
I frowned at the concern in his voice. “Yes, why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“You were supposed to telefono me yesterday? ”
“I was?”
“ Si . After you got home from Pierre’s.”
I giggled. “Well, as a matter of fact, I’ve only just got home.” For some reason, I was ridiculously proud of that statement.
He inhaled his breath. “ Merda santa ! You stayed the night?”
“Uh-huh.”
“ S o happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Did you remember to get that stupido letter?”
Sitting at my table, I reached into my bag and pulled my book along with the immigration letter from the middle pages. “Yeah.”
“Are you going to fight it?”
“I don’t think there’s anything to fight. Bruce made it obvious I was too old to continue in their employment.”
“ Bastardo .”
“Yep, but without this job, I can’t extend my visa.”
“Daisy, that’s so unfair.”
I sighed. “Company policy.”
“Bullshit.”
We were silent for a couple of heartbeats before Roman said, “So . . . what did you and Pierre get up to?”
“Nothing.” I grabbed a pencil from my stash of pens and pencils that I somehow collected over time - they were sitting in an old mug on the table. Then I flipped the letter over. On the back, I wrote first orgasm in a shower .
“You can’t tell me nothing. That is not fair.”
I could picture Roman’s cheeky smile. “Okay then. He cooked me breakfast.”
“Boring. Give me the juicy stuff.”
Smiling, I said, “He was naked at the time.” On the next line, I wrote, first time a naked man cooked for me .
Roman laughed. “Good on you, Red. I’m really happy for you.”
“Thank you.” After a brief pause, I said, “Hey, Roman?”
“ Si? ”
“Thanks for giving me a kick up the butt. I needed it.”
He went silent, and I could almost hear him stewing over his reply. “ Prego. That’s what friends are for.”
The sadness in his eyes when we’d talked about Caterina still blazed in my memory. Roman needed help to move on, just like I’d needed a boot to kick me away from the stranglehold William had over me.
We shared the same wounds.
I was the perfect person to help Roman. Roman needed me. Nobody ever needed me. I just had to convince him of that. “It’s your turn next month,” I blurted.
“What?”
“Next month, we’re going to get you laid.”
He huffed. “Really?” His question brimmed with sarcasm.
I recalled his statement back at the Moulin Rouge bar, and my hyperactive girly bits did a little jig. “Yep. Even if I have to do it myself.”
Roman’s laughter was hearty and contagious.
“It’s a dirty job.” I giggled. “But someone has to do it.” I mimicked his statement word for word.
“You’re funny, Daisy.”
“I’m also serious. You helped me this month. I’ll help you next month.”
“I can assure you, I do not need any help in that area.”
“Yes, you do. Caterina still has her claws in and it’s time to extract them.”
He went silent. Roman didn’t do silent. I wished we were together so I could see his expression. See his pain. Oh, God. Had I said something that added to his ache? “Hey, are you okay? ”
He was silent.
“Roman?” Acid churned my stomach. “You okay?”
He huffed out a breath. “ Si , si, I’m fine.”
He was light-years from fine. I sensed his misery. Felt it deep in my bones. I knew exactly how it felt to be utterly crushed by someone you loved.
Love was a bitch. It hurt in the most excruciating ways.
That was why I’d never fall in love again.
But, thanks to Roman, I was no longer in that sewer pit of longing. Now it was his turn. He needed the new Daisy. The one who was upbeat, and fun, and a tad on the crazy side. The new Daisy who knew it was okay to enjoy sex and sensual experiences with men who she’d only just met. The new Daisy who’d shared aspects about her disastrous childhood and even more disastrous engagement with William, a man she barely knew.
And the shocker was just how good I’d felt after I had revealed those secrets.
Sharing my nightmares had bonded Roman and me. Connected us in a way that confirmed that sometimes it was okay to open up and reveal our wounds.
I had to help fix him. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t see him whole again.
“Hey, Roman, you were the one who told me that sex fixed everything. Remember?”
“ Si .”
“Well, you were right. I really was dying on the inside. But I’m not anymore. We need to get you laid.” I said it like I was ordering him painkillers. Maybe sex was a painkiller.
He groaned into the phone, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and give him the hug of all hugs.
I had a sudden urge to travel down to his tiny town of Manarola. All going well, I could be there by this time tomorrow .
Would he think that was creepy? Stalkerish? After all, we’d only known each other for twenty days.
Twenty days. Wow . I felt like I’d known Roman for years.
“Anyway, Red, I have to go. Papa needs help in the kitchen. He’s making limoncello. God help me.” He laughed, and although I laughed along with him, I sensed he was putting on an act.
“Oh. Okay. I’ll see you on the first of August. In London.”
“I’ll be there.”
We said our goodbyes and a wave of excitement flushed through me at how good I felt. I was going to help Roman reach that precipice. I’d help him stand on that edge, with love for his ex on one side and freedom on the other. Once he was there, I’d hold his hand while he tipped over that harrowing threshold and into emotional freedom.
For the first time in my life, I knew how special it was to help a friend. Usually, it was Zali helping me. It was time to give back.
I plugged my phone into the charger, and my eyes snagged on the notes I’d made on the back of that letter.
First orgasm in a shower
First time a naked man had cooked for me
But they were just the tip of my firsts for this month.
Charged with excitement, I grabbed a notepad from my drawer and flipped to a fresh page, and as the last twenty days replayed in my head, I listed all the firsts I’d experienced.
Pierre
1. First time I’d torn my shirt open
2. First time my breasts had been sucked
I frowned at that, questioning its truth. Sadly, it was. Not once had William put his tongue to my breasts.
3. First time I was topless in public
I giggled at the flashback of me racing through the antique shop. It was a wonder my bloody boobs hadn’t knocked a priceless statue over.
Luca
4. First time a smoking-hot man truly looked at me naked
I wasn’t talking a little peek either. Luca had gazed at my flesh until I’d clawed at the tartan rug. He’d devoured me with his gaze. Like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Was that true? Did he think I was beautiful?
Pierre had also called me beautiful. As had Isabella, the hairdresser, and Nina from the castle. Oscar had too. But there was one more person who’d called me beautiful, she was more important than all of them. Me. I’d felt both beautiful and sexy as I’d crossed the plush carpets on the arm of my classy James Bond at the Monte Carlo.
A warm glow washed through me. I’d never felt so . . . so complete. In control. So certain of myself in my whole life.
Returning my attention to the growing list, I wrote:
5. First oral sex
Hmm . . . Luca’s hot tongue on me and in me. Why on earth hadn’t I done that before?
6. First time with a younger man
7. First time a man had undressed me
My insides twitched at how sexy that had been.
8. First sexual experience with a redhead
Trivial, I know, but still true.
9. First romp in a hay barn
That had me chuckling. I’d bet there weren’t too many women who could boast about that one.
10. First real orgasm
I underlined real several times. Why had I waited until I was twenty-nine to surrender my body to that mind-blowing experience?
11. AND first multiple orgasm too
12. First sexual encounter with another man within earsho t
I giggled. Luca’s probing fingers pleasuring my pussy while Roman strolled through the stable had been so naughty, but so fucking hot .
13. First time a man ejaculated over me
And oh, what a magnificent hot, messy spectacle that had been.
Oscar
14. First time I showed off my ample bosom in a sexy dress
Damn, I’d been nervous about that, yet at the same time it had been titillating. Usually, having my breasts on display made me feel slutty.
Oh, how much I’d changed.
15. First time a man, let alone an incredibly handsome man, had chosen me when he clearly could have chosen any one of hundreds of other women at the casino
16. First time I’d been invited back to a stranger’s room
17. First time in a penthouse
At the Hotel De Paris, no less, one of the most expensive hotels in the world.
18. First casual sex with a stranger
19. First time my panties had been torn from my body
Pierre
That exhilarating ride through the busy Paris streets was incredible. So, I wrote:
20. First ride on a Vespa
My firsts didn’t just have to be sexual ones. That opened up a whole world of possibilities. I’m going to add all the firsts that made me feel free and wonderful too.
21. First time a man had carried me to bed
22. First oral sex in a shower
23. First orgasm in a shower
24. First time I’d had sex three times in one night
25. First time I’d spent the night spooning a naked man
“Holy shit.” Three men in twenty days and twenty-five new experiences, most of them erotic ones. Blinking at the page, blood rushed through my body, heating my insides and burning my neck and cheeks.
I re-read my list, hardly believing what I’d written.
“Holy shit.” It deserved repeating.
I burst out laughing.
I, Daisy Chayne, am a fucking goddess.
God damn, that felt good. Where had my libido been hiding all these years?
I was truly looking forward to next month. I read the list again and grinning like a crazy woman I titled the page: Six Months of Sin .
My phone buzzed and I smiled, hoping it was Roman ringing me back. I plucked it from the table.
Every good vibe flowing through me shriveled up and died when I saw the number.
It was Mother.