16. Marcus
16
MARCUS
“I think having your grandparents come down for a visit is a perfectly reasonable thing,” I said into the phone, trying to sound calm despite the growing tension in my chest.
“Dad,” Lily whined. “We’ll be fine. I can take care of us,” Lily replied, her voice laced with that teenage mix of exasperation and confidence. “We don’t need grandma to babysit us.”
“It’s not whether or not you can take care of yourself and your brother, Lily,” I said, trying not to raise my voice. “Your grandparents want to see you, and I don’t want them to think I’m keeping you from them.”
“You know I’m…” She hesitated, her voice softening just a little. “I’m sorry that tonight was the only night they were able to come into town. Since you have to be at the hospital, and you’re on the graveyard shift, and you won’t get to see them…”
I knew what she was trying to say, but that didn’t stop the situation from being frustrating. Carol, my mother-in-law, had a way of turning even the most reasonable arrangements into a battle of judgment.
“It made perfect sense for them to come and spend the night,” I said.
“Yeah, but Grandma’s treating me like I’m a kid,” Lily snapped.
“You are a kid, Lily,” I said, although I softened the words with a hint of a smile she couldn’t see.
“I’ve been taking care of me and Jason just fine every other time you’ve had the graveyard shift.”
“Yes, you have,” I said. “This doesn’t change that.”
“Well, Grandma seems to think it does,” Lily said with a long sigh.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “What is she saying that has you so bothered?”
“She wants us to come down and have dinner with you so she can talk to you directly. She thinks you’re avoiding her.”
I bit back a groan. I wasn’t avoiding my in-laws—not exactly. What I was avoiding were the memories of Blair that seemed to hang around Carol and Kevin like a cloud. And what I definitely wanted to avoid was Carol’s inevitable critique of my parenting decisions.
“It’s not avoiding,” I said finally. “It’s…” I trailed off, knowing Lily would see through any excuse I tried to make.
“You’re avoiding her, Dad,” Lily said bluntly.
“Fine,” I said, conceding the point. “Why don’t you bring your grandparents down for dinner? I get a break kind of late. We can have our little family discussion then.”
Lily sighed deeply. “Fine.”
In the background, I heard Jason’s voice, louder and more enthusiastic than his sister’s subdued tone. “Is Dr. Emma gonna be there?”
I smiled despite myself. Jason’s fascination with Emma was heartwarming. Mine… was something else entirely.
“No, she’s not working tonight,” I said. “That’s why I have to be here.”
Jason groaned, his disappointment practically tangible even through the phone.
“Maybe we’ll invite her over for dinner again soon,” I said, trying to lighten his mood.
“That would be great!” Jason shouted, and I heard Lily groan in response.
"Go away, Jason,” she said, her voice dripping with irritation.
“Be nice to your brother,” I told her. I had a suspicion that when I wasn’t around, she was nicer to him. If she was as mean as she wanted me to think, Jason would complain about her much more than he did.
“Fine,” she said after a pause. “I’ll tell Grandma and Grandpa we’ll come have dinner with you at the hospital. What time?”
“Show up anytime after seven,” I said. “As long as I’m not in the middle of something, I’ll be able to take a break. It’ll be late, but… you know, come by. Maybe we can have dessert together or something,” I added.
Lily groaned again. “Fine. I’ll tell them. Any later and she’ll make us wear our footie jammies.”
I chuckled at the visual that popped into my head. Lily and Jason used to wear the oversized, shapeless, footed sleeper pajamas when they were babies and toddlers. They were adorable. Only the image I got was of a surly Lily in one of those get ups, but at her current age and size.
“Don’t laugh at my pain,” she practically wailed.
“Sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you. Something came up here. I’ve got to go. See you later. Call or text to let me know when you get here.”
“Bye, Dad,” Lily said. I was pretty sure she didn’t believe me and thought I was laughing at her.
The evening passed quietly, which was both a blessing and a curse in a hospital setting. A quiet shift often meant the calm before a storm, but I tried not to dwell on that thought.
When my phone buzzed, I checked the message. Lily had texted to let me know they had arrived. I pushed away from my desk and waved my phone at the nurse manning the station.
“I’ll be in the cafeteria if anything comes up,” I said.
The nurse nodded, her expression telling me she understood the unspoken plea in my tone. Don’t let this quiet spell end while I’m gone .
I headed to the cafeteria, texting Lily on the way to let her know I’d meet them there.
Jason was the first to spot me. He waved enthusiastically, his wide grin a welcome sight after a long evening. Lily followed behind him, her arms crossed and her expression firmly in her usual put-upon mode. Behind them were Carol and Kevin. Carol’s lips were already pursed in disapproval, and Kevin wore his usual look of quiet resignation.
“Carol,” I said warmly, extending my hand. “So good to see you.”
She nodded stiffly, then turned her attention to the kids.
Kevin shook my hand firmly. “Always good to see you, Marcus.”
“You just let the kids come down here at any time?” Carol said, wasting no time before diving into her critique.
“I’m not sure what you mean, Carol,” I said carefully.
“Jason was just telling me how he comes here after school to do his homework, and how both he and Lily sometimes come and have dinner with you. Wandering the city like that—it’s not safe.”
“It’s not as if they’re small children, Carol,” I said. “They’re teenagers, and they aren’t wandering the city. They know how to take a cab to get from point A to point B. They always text me when they get home.”
“They are your children, and they are walking around the city unaccompanied,” she said sharply.
I set my shoulders and pasted a passive grin on my face. “I understand your concern, Carol, but they’re responsible. I trust them. When they come to the hospital after dark, they take a cab, just as I assume you did this evening.”
Carol’s disapproving huff was almost loud enough to echo.
“Jason has been telling us that you have a girlfriend,” she said suddenly, her tone accusatory.
The unexpected shift in topic caught me off guard. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Jason seems to think you have a girlfriend,” she said, her voice climbing an octave.
I looked at Jason, who was staring at me with wide, innocent eyes. “Are you talking about Emma?”
He nodded eagerly.
“Emma is a work colleague Jason happens to like,” I said, my tone firm. “We’re not dating, if that’s your concern.”
“Well, don’t you think it’s a little too soon?” Carol pressed.
“Too soon for what? To live? To love? Carol, it’s been three years.”
“Three years is hardly enough time to erase the memory of my daughter,” she said, blinking hard as if to keep her emotions in check.
“A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to erase the memory of Blair,” I said softly. “But let me be clear, if I decide to date again, it doesn’t erase her memory. Nothing ever could. She was the love of my life, and I was lucky she chose me.”
I turned to face my kids. “Your mom was singularly exceptional, and I still love her. That won’t ever change. But she wouldn’t want me to stay sad and lonely. She told me as much when she was sick.”
“So, you’re telling me my daughter told you to move on and forget her?”
“No,” I said firmly. “Blair didn’t use those words. She told me not to wallow in misery and that I should find love again if I could.”
I pressed my fist against my chest. The hollowness inside that I was left with when Blair passed was growing smaller every day. And after meeting Emma, it seemed to be filling up even quicker. “I’m starting to feel… maybe, I might be open to the idea again. But nothing—no one—will ever replace Blair.”
The room fell into an awkward silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally, Carol sighed, her expression softening just a fraction.
“I just want what’s best for the kids,” she said quietly.
“So do I,” I replied. “And that includes showing them that it’s okay to move forward, even when it’s hard.”
Jason tugged at my sleeve, breaking the tension. “Can we get dessert now?”
I chuckled, grateful for the distraction. “Yes, we can.”