Chapter 2
Chapter Two
“The merger document?” I ask, peering at his computer screen. He nods and I hit print before trotting back to the printer. His document prints and I staple it before handing it to him.
Theo watches my every move, his intense gaze making me uncomfortable, but I can’t look away.
He turns and strolls out without a word.
I inhale a greedy breath of air, not realizing I was holding it all in.
I make my way back to my own desk. Theo has been acting weird since last week.
I have caught him staring at me more times than I can count.
Tobias has even been on edge lately. I heard them arguing over something the other day. I tried to tune it out as best I could as their relationship is none of my business, but it makes it a little awkward and tense around the office.
Tobias remains in his office all day in one of his moods.
The only time I hear from him is when I transfer calls to his phone line.
Before I know it, it is 5:30 PM. Where has my day gone?
Mr. Kane and Mr. Madden leave at 5:00. I finish shutting everything down before switching the lights off and heading to the parking lot.
Once there, I grab my phone charger and some warm clothes to change into and pile everything into my bag.
I have to be back to my car before Tom locks up. Tom works a few hours in the morning and then comes back at night to empty the trash and scrub the floor before locking up the garage and rolling down the doors at 9:00PM. It gives me plenty of time to visit my mother before heading back.
I come out on the ground floor level, on the park side as I leave.
Cutting through the park, I head toward the big blue neon sign that sits atop the hospital across from Kane and Madden Industries.
Mater Hospital. Every day I walk over to check on her.
Making my way to the second floor, I head to the wards.
Room 18, bed 5. I’m lucky the hospital is so close to my job, I can't imagine trying to fight traffic and taking away the precious time I have with her.
My mother has been there for just over three months.
I take a seat in the sterile room. I hate hospitals.
They always smell of hand sanitizer, and this particular ward reeks of death.
No, my mother doesn't have some debilitating chronic illness.
I actually wish that were the case. No, my mother, Lila Riley, is in a coma.
She'd been driving home from work from a local bar, and a drunk driver ran a red light, smashing into her.
Her car was a total white-off, and they had to use the jaws of life to get her from the vehicle.
She has been in a coma ever since. The doctors told me she is brain-dead, that the only thing keeping her alive is the machines she is hooked up to.
The hospital said they could keep her that way and hoped to see some change, even though it would be a miracle.
I’ve managed to push it to nearly four months after I appealed their decision to turn off life support.
I’m still waiting to hear back from the Medical Ethics Council.
I know it is a battle I will lose. But for now, it has brought more days with her.
It’s only a matter of time before they pull the plug on her and tell me I have to say goodbye.
Also the reason why I live in my car. Mom’s medical bills are expensive, and even when the time comes to switch her off, I will have to live in my car for at least another two years before I finish paying it off.
My medical insurance only covers a dependent child or spouse, so it is of no use.
My mother doesn’t even have medical insurance.
She worked cash in hand and struggled to keep a job for long.
She raised me as a single mom from the time I was born. My father walked out when he found out she was expecting. I never met the man and quite frankly don’t care to.
I lost our house after only three weeks of not being able to pay the mortgage. It turned out we were already months behind when the accident happened, and my mother kept it from me. I had to choose to keep mom alive or keep the house. I chose her.
I know she would have done the same for me. I know I’m delaying the inevitable, but how do you kill your mom? Kill the one person who spent your entire life loving and supporting you? When the time comes, I need to know I have tried everything, or I know I won't be able to live with the guilt.
I gaze down at my mother; she appears to be sleeping, besides the tube hanging out of her mouth that forces her to breathe, that keeps her alive. She has numerous tubes hanging out of her skinny arms.
My mother used to be strong, lively, and happy. She looked younger than her age. With her blonde hair that was just below her shoulder blades, she had excellent skin, no wrinkles, pink full lips, and a tan complexion. She looked great for a forty-five- year-old.
But now, her skin has turned gray from the lack of sunlight, and her hair has become oily and flat as she has lost the ability to care for it daily.
She has lost all her weight and muscle mass and is now skin and bone.
She is literally wasting away in this hospital bed.
Sitting in the blue chair, I scoot closer to the bed and grab her bony hand.
“Hey, Momma, I miss you.” I brush her hair off her forehead where it is stuck to her skin.
I listened to the beep of her heart monitor and the sound of the ventilator forcing her to breathe.
I used to come and sit with her for hours and tell her about my day or read to her.
But after a couple of months now, I simply come to tell her I love her. I have run out of things to say.
I miss her soft voice telling me everything is going to be okay.
I miss the way she made everything look effortless.
Lila Riley may not have been a perfect mother, but she'd been perfect to me.
Yeah, she had a drinking problem, but other than that, I know she did the best she could with the hand life dealt her.
After sitting with her for a while, I quickly duck into the small bathroom. The nurse, Sally, is on night shift tonight and always lets me shower here. It’s the only time I get to shower with warm water. Not hot, but like lukewarm bath water as the showers are temperature regulated.
I wash my hair and my body quickly, making sure to scrub extra good while I have the power of warm water.
When I’m done, I hop out, dry myself off and slip into my track pants so I don't have to change in the cramped car. I also slide my feet into some socks before putting on a pair of flats. Then, I jam everything back into my oversized handbag before making my way back to my mother’s side to say goodbye.
Sitting on the table next to my charging phone are some club sandwiches.
Sally must have come in while I was in the shower.
She knows my situation and that I don’t have much left over after I pay the hospital, so every shift she is on, I always find sandwiches or any leftover food from the cafeteria on the table waiting for me.
Tonight’s gourmet dinner consists of thick cheese and sliced tomato sandwiches.
I’m starving, having not eaten anything but some dry crackers the entire day.
I devour the two sandwiches just in time for Sally to return with a plastic bag in hand.
Sally is the same age as me, twenty-three.
She has dark hair cut into a pixie cut, dark brown eyes, and she is about 5’6 tall with a slim build.
She is an attractive woman and has a kind heart.
When she walks in, I stand and she wraps me in a warm hug, rubbing my back softly.
Handing the bag over to me, I find some bottles of water and a small orange juice, which I quickly grab out to wash the sandwiches down.
Sally has also been to the vending machine and grabbed a few protein bars, some chips, and I also find, to my delight, a few pieces of fruit.
“I was hoping you were still in the shower. I know you don’t like accepting help, but you really need to start taking care of yourself.
When was the last time you ate a proper meal?
You look so skinny.” I smile sadly at her.
It’s hard keeping my emotions in check around her.
Sally has seen me at my most vulnerable.
She tugs on my shirt and track pants, trying to emphasize how much weight I have lost. I’m not blind.
I know I have lost a lot of weight. My clothes don’t fit like they should.
I even had to roll some of my pants just to get them to stay on my hips.
“I know, I’ve been trying. It is just so hard with how chaotic my life is at the moment.”
Sally rubs my cheek with her thumb. “I have to get back to work but don’t forget to eat. I am on shift again on Wednesday, so I will bring a few things for you.” She jams the plastic bag into my handbag and zips it up before strolling out to tend to her other patients.
I sit back down and wait for my phone to charge a bit more before unplugging it. It’s now 8:30 PM. I have to be back before nine to make sure I don't get locked out. Leaning down, I place a kiss on my mother’s head before leaving and heading back to my car.
The walk back is quick. Tonight isn't too cold, thank goodness. I open my trunk and grab my duvet and my pillow before climbing back into the front seat and reclining the seat all the way back. I snuggle underneath my blanket and close my eyes, praying sleep will come easy.
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