Chapter 16
Tirael
It all started with strawberries. I was rifling through papers on my desk when Raphael strode in and set a small basket in front of me.
“Good morning?” I asked hesitantly.
“Hello, Tirael,” Raphael said with a sunny smile. “I saw those magnificent specimens when I was in Chile and thought about you.”
I peered into the basket and saw white strawberries. White! They were pale, with red dots where the seeds were and a smattering of green leaves at the top.
“I hope you enjoy them,” Raphael said, already heading towards the door of the Embassy.
I could only manage to shout, “Have a good day!” as he vanished from sight.
Curiously, I picked one of the strawberries, sniffed it, poked my tongue out for a lick, and not seeing anything weird except the color of the berry, I took a bite. It was softer than I was used to, but still quite juicy and sweet. The strawberry melted in my mouth. There was a funny phrase about angels frolicking on your tongue; I was experiencing something akin to this saying right now.
Raphael was thinking about me,a tiny voice inside me said, but I squashed it firmly. This was just a fluke, a friend—no, a colleague—giving me something he associated with me. There was nothing more to it.
Except the gifts kept showing up.
The next time it was Beelzebub who came bearing a gift. The demon cornered me after one of the Archangels and Archdemons meetings at the Embassy. When I was twirling a pen in my hand, he caught my wrist and I froze. Oh, no, was I annoying him with my antics? Was the motion too distracting? It certainly was for many of the angels I worked with. I stared at the top of my desk, ashamed.
“I have something better for you to play with,” Beelzebub said, all pleased with himself. He took away the pen from my hand and switched it with something metal. I jerked my gaze to my hand, and I saw a curious little metal device on my palm. There was a circle, and attached to it was a spider-like shape made of oxidized metal. The colors shifted with different hues depending on the angle from which you looked at it. I touched it hesitantly with my other hand, and the device moved; the spider legs spun around the central part.
“Boy, you need to visit Earth more if you’re not familiar with those. The trend for them had already passed, but I’m still quite fond of this particular one.”
“What is this?” I dared to ask.
“A fidget spinner,” Beelzebub said, as if that explained anything. At my blank stare, he chuckled and continued. “It’s a toy designed for keeping your fingers occupied. You can channel your restless energy or nervousness into it. The motion helps you concentrate.”
That made me look up.
“How can it help me concentrate? Isn’t it distracting? Wouldn’t it distract me from my work? That’s what they always said… that I should sit still to concentrate better. That I was doing myself and everyone around me a disservice by being so fidgety…”
Beelzebub sat the pen in his hand down, the sound ominous.
“Who are they? Tell me,” he asked, in such a cold tone it made a shiver go down my spine.
“It’s nothing,” I said quickly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Tell me who they are, who dared to make you so nervous about a normal, simple thing like this, and I will eat them.”
I wouldn’t wish Beelzebub’s wrath upon my worst enemy, so I did not tell him about Laniel or any of the other angels who bullied me into being a perfect little worker bee.
“Can you show me how to use it?” I asked instead, to deescalate the situation and channel the unexpected offer to maim someone on my behalf into something safer.
I watched as Beelzebub spun the toy between his fingers expertly, until the spider’s legs were just a blur. It could go so fast! It looked fun! You could throw it in the air, spin it at the top of your finger, do little tricks with it.
“Thank you,” I said softly when Beelzebub gave the toy back.
“I just wanted you to have something that would remind you of me.” Beelzebub winked at me and went away just in time to avoid Hellion. I hid the spider-shaped spinner under the table, not yet willing for anyone else to see my gift.
After that, there came other gifts. One time, at another event where I was quite busy and didn’t really have time to partake in any of the hors d’oeuvres prepared for the other guests, Raphael showed up with a small plate of different delicacies ready for me and gently bullied me into eating. Another time, Beelzebub presented me with a small wooden cube that rattled when I shook it that turned out to be a puzzle. It took me a good part of the day between my tasks to discover what exactly was hidden inside. The note from Beelzebub made me laugh. ‘It looked like you needed some enrichment,’ the slip of paper said. Accompanying it was a pretty little marble, colors swirling inside like a miniature nebula. It wasn’t anything useful; that marble was given to me just so I could have something small and pretty. A trinket. Until about a year ago, when my life changed so drastically, I don’t think I have ever gotten a gift that wasn’t practical. I cherished the little multicolored glass ball and carried it in my pocket next to the spider fidget spinner.
There were other gifts, other… dare I say it? Zachariel described it as acts of service; doing a task for me, helping from the sidelines, like the time Raphael got food for me while I was too busy to get it myself. The attention confounded me. Why was I a recipient of those gifts and acts? But for once in my life, I decided not to look a gifted horse in the mouth and just enjoy what was thrown my way.
That was all well and good until Beelzebub and Raphael asked me on a date.
It should be a dream come true, and it was, but unfortunately, of a nightmare kind. Raphael came into my work bright and early in the morning while I was preparing myself for the day and going over the notes Zachariel and Hellion left for me. I noticed a beautiful envelope with a spider wax seal and started to read the note inside just as Raphael approached me.
“Can I have a minute of your time?” he asked politely.
I knew he was approaching me here not to disturb my working, but because I did practically live at the Embassy and didn’t invite anyone to my private quarters upstairs. Usually, I spent the minimum time I had to in Heaven as well, just enough to recharge myself, so it wasn’t easy to catch me there. I could humor Raphael for a chat. It wasn’t like people were clamoring for my attention, nor were there any pressing matters to attend. I wasn’t an employee here anymore but a partner in this venture, so if I wanted to take a break five minutes after coming to work, then I could.
“Sure,” I nodded at the Archangel.
Raphael took a deep breath.
“I know I didn’t treat you like you deserved in our past interactions, but the truth is, I like you. And if you would be amenable, I would like to invite you on a date.”
“A date?” I blurted out, disbelieving.
“Yes, it’s a social construct to show one’s interest and get to know each other,” Raphael gave me a lopsided smile with the joke.
I knew what a date was, but I forcefully did not associate the concept with Raphael before, knowing his stance on relationships. Was it truly a date he wanted, or…
While I chewed on how to respond, my eyes wandered down to the letter from Beelzebub I held in my hand. Unwittingly, I spotted a word that made me do a double-take and read the three short sentences while Raphael waited.
‘Tirael, let’s cut to the chase. I want to date you. Meet me at this address today at 8 pm if you want to be my little slut once more,’ the letter said.
Oh. Oh no. My hands shook as I realized there were only two possibilities for what was happening.
The first one: they both wanted to return to our sex escapades. ‘Little slut’, indeed. But I couldn’t help but remember how good those debasing words made me feel, how this label became like a pet name. It was possible Beelzebub was showing affection this way and that could mean Beelzebub was serious about being interested in me, wanting to date me, wanting something more than just sex. Raphael seemed pretty earnest about dating me as well, but both of them coming after me at the same time could mean only one thing.
They were playing with me.