Chapter 16 #2
Now she had the opportunity to do something about it.
But if she wanted to hold onto that opportunity, do something to right her own wrongs, make up for what she had caused, even if none of this had been her intention, then she couldn’t be meek and mild.
Meek and mild Whitney would just say okay, submit to what Blade wanted, and hide out there while he and his team eventually found another way to get to Dr. Gardner.
That Whitney would be a coward, and she didn't want to be a coward anymore.
This whole thing, setting up the fake identity, warning Delta Team, erasing all of her data, blowing up the lab, had been about finding herself. Well, she’d found herself here, with men who should hate her, had every reason to, and yet instead were offering her a place in their little family.
If she wanted that place, she had to earn it.
Blade was offering her more than a family, at least she thought he was. He was offering her a chance to be seen as a woman, a person, not just the baby genius that everyone else in her life had categorized her as.
There was no way she was letting this opportunity slip through her fingers.
Defiantly, she tilted her head back and met his eye. Fighting against the urge to cower, instead, she maintained eye contact and mostly kept her trembling to a minimum. She was scared, but she wasn't backing down.
“Yes,” she said, her voice wavering just a teeny bit. “I want to do this. I am doing this. It’s the best way to get to Dr. Gardner, and we all know it, including you.”
“Best way to get you killed,” Blade retorted, and she could quite clearly see the panic swirling in the depths of his dark eyes.
“I'm not asking for your permission. I’ve already made up my mind.” She would love his support, though.
Just because she knew she had to do this didn't mean that Whitney wasn't absolutely terrified at the idea of willingly handing herself over to the man who had controlled her life for more than half of it.
“Who says you get to make up your mind and make a unilateral decision?” Blade taunted, his voice reminding her of how he’d spoken to her when he had her hanging from that tree, but she knew this time it was harsh from fear, not anger.
The others said nothing, but she could feel their watchful eyes on her and Blade as he kept one arm banded around her, his other lifting to press against her chest, above her heart. Right where he’d cut into her skin. Now he pressed his palm against the small wound, making it sting.
“You gave me this body last night. I asked you if you were sure, gave you every opportunity to say it was too much for you, but you didn't. Do you know what that means?”
Staring up at him with wide eyes, Whitney shook her head. Maybe she hadn't fully understood what she was getting into with this powerful, dangerous man, but she did know one thing. She didn't regret what they’d shared last night.
More than that, she wanted to do it again.
And again, and again.
“It means you're mine now,” he said simply, pressing again against the shallow cut and making her wince, then crushing his mouth to hers and kissing her until she couldn’t breathe.
When he pulled back, they were both panting, and although she thought she should be embarrassed to have been kissed like that with an audience, Whitney couldn’t find it in her to care.
But the kiss didn't change anything.
Didn't absolve her of the need to redeem herself, even if she was only doing so for her own benefit in her eyes.
“I still have to do this,” she said softly. “You can't argue that it’s the best way. We all know that.”
Blade glared at her, then turned that glare on the others. “You agree with her?” he demanded.
“It is a solid plan,” Steel said, not bothering to cater to Blade’s obvious panic.
“Did you think it was a solid plan when it was Rose wanting to play bait?” Blade snarled.
Steel’s jaw tightened. “That wasn't the same, and you know it.”
“How was it different?” Blade shot back.
“I'm not sure it was different,” Rose piped up from where she was sitting on Steel’s lap, and the big man growled at her.
“Sorry, Steel, but you know it wasn't. I played bait to lure in my brother and it worked. Well almost. If he hadn't gotten away, it would have. It was our best play in the moment, and while upsetting Blade isn’t my goal, I think this is our best play now. Assuming Whitney really is okay to go through with it.”
“I am,” she quickly assured Rose, assured everyone. She was the weak link here, she wasn't even pretending otherwise, but this was something she would do no matter how scared she was.
“You're okay with this?” Blade snarled, turning his wrath on Dragon. “Didn't learn your lesson last time? Taking Cassandra with us almost turned into a disaster that we couldn’t recover from.”
Dragon snarled right back at Blade, baring his teeth.
“It was a mistake, but this is different. Cassandra came because she no longer wanted to be a passive part of her life, but as much as you hate it, Whitney is right. This could work. Dr. Gardner is desperate to get her back. He knows he needs her, he was willing to reinstate her entire digital identity just to try to get her back. She calls up the local police department, offers to turn herself in, and we know she’s going straight to him. This could be our chance.”
“And you're all just prepared to sacrifice Whitney to get it?” Blade growled at his entire team like he was one step away from tearing their heads off.
But this wasn't about them. Well, not fully anyway. As much as she wanted them to get the revenge they so badly deserved, she wanted to do this for herself as well.
She needed to do this.
If she was going to have any chance at building a new life, she needed to find her self-respect again. It started with this. If she stayed there and hid, continued to be a coward, then she would never be able to start over, have a real life, she’d constantly be mired in the past.
Placing her hands on Blade’s chest, she began to pet him gently, drawing his attention to her.
“Please understand, Blade. This isn’t something I want to do, it’s something I need to do.
I know you all say that I'm not to blame for what happened because I was just a child, and then a woman who had been controlled and manipulated for so long she didn't know what else to do. But now I know what else to do.”
Beneath the fear and panic in Blade’s eyes, she could see the understanding. He might hate what she was suggesting, but he got where she was coming from.
“I started this, and I can be the one to finish it. Maybe the only one who can finish it. Rose is right, her brother wants me back, enough to go to these lengths to get me. We can pretend that I want to hand myself over to the cops to clear up the misunderstanding, and then you can follow me in. Do you know why I know I can do this?”
When he gave a small shake of his head, she leaned into him, wanting him to feel, not just hear what she was saying.
“Because of you. You stayed with me. In the woods, when we spotted those cars, you could have just left me behind. I know you wanted my intel, but I don’t think that’s why you really stayed, killed them all, protected and saved me.
I know you're not going to leave me behind now. I can do this because for the first time ever, I actually have a team. I have people on my side, people who will have my back. Together we can finally destroy the man who played God with all our lives.”