Chapter Thirty-Eight
Brynne
It feels weird to be back at the office. I usually don’t have a
problem coming back after a kill, but having all of those days off with the boys has changed me. I never knew my life could change so drastically in such a short amount of time. I didn’t want to open up to Sawyer and Damon Saturday night, but my body didn’t put up a guard like it normally does. I meant what I said. I waited every night for those icy blue eyes to look at me through the darkness of the room.
W hile they were using me, I would continuously go
back to that night in my head. I think the night Damon did that for me altered my brain chemistry and I knew I would never be normal. I would have my revenge on anyone who dared to take advantage of me or any person for that matter. I won't stop for anything until I find out who the men were who almost killed me. They were the worst and I never knew any of their names.
My foster father used to get paid to give us to them and they would take us to a cabin in the mountains up north for a whole weekend. I knew our foster mother knew what was going on since she didn’t question our absences for the weekend. Every time they took a girl she never came back the same. Some didn’t make it long afterward. I was so scared for it to be my turn. I don’t even remember how old I was when they took me. If I knew it wasn’t going to be just one time like the other girls, then I would have followed in their footsteps and killed myself.
I don’t know what I ever did to become the favorite of all of these disgust men. That last week was the last time I ever saw them. I only remember what they smelled like and vaguely what their voices sounded like. I tried my best not to look into their eyes, but I was losing sight of Damon with each passing day.
The door of my office opens before I replay the worst week of my existence. Ryker's beautiful green eyes look back at me and he sees the state of me. He closes the door and locks it. He gets to me faster than expected and takes me into his arms. “What's wrong Brynne baby?” he asks genuinely.
“Just memories I would like to forget about, but I can’t.” I shouldn’t tell him, but I know it will get brought up eventually with the guys. I close my eyes and listen to his heartbeat through his flannel shirt. He smells like fall and it makes me sigh. Ryker is six years younger than me, but he is more of a man than most of the male sex on this planet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks. I laugh against his chest.
“You’re supposed to be the one talking. Not me,” I
clarify.
“ I don’t feel like talking and I don’t feel like sitting in
silence either,” Ryker says. He runs his hand down my silk blouse. It was weird to be back in the house and not have all of the boys there with me. Matteo was at his grandfather’s house and Damon and Sawyer said they had to take care of something at the motel. I had this weird sense of longing being back at the house without them. I’ve never felt that way before.
“ I’d much rather use my mouth for other reasons,”
Ryker smirks. His smile is damning and could bring any
woman down to her knees. My knees even threaten to buckle at just the sight of him walking into my office. His disheveled dirty blonde hair and mossy eyes are something I’ve never seen before. He is something I could stare at for hours and never get bored. All of my boys are pieces of art that I never knew I needed in my life.
Ryker slides his other hand up my thigh and under my pencil skirt. He gets to the top of my thigh-high stockings and groans. “I need to be inside you, but I want you only in these and your heels,” he pleads. I look at him and kiss his lips. We both take our clothes off in a frenzy. I don’t care that we are in my office and there are people on either side of these walls.
“Oh Brynne,” Ryker whispers as he kisses my neck. “I missed you,” he says before taking my nipple into his mouth. He flicks his tongue and I run my hands through his thick locks of hair. I lean forward and kiss the top of his head and he stops. I don’t know why I did that, it's too sensual. I’m used to sex being rough or dirty and hard. Sawyer messed that all up with whatever you would call what we did Saturday. He started so demanding and completely flipped the switch on me.
Ryker lifts me on top of my desk and I open my legs for him. He caresses my cheek with his hand and I lean into his touch. His hand is warm but knowing it's Ryker touching me makes me relax. I grip his hips and pull him closer. “Fuck me Ryker,” I whisper. He kisses my neck and then both breasts. My head falls backward and I sigh. Every touch from him makes my body feel like it's getting touched by fire. He lines his cock up to my pussy and slowly pushes forward.
When he pushes the rest of himself inside of me, I suck in a breath. He breathes into my neck and stills his body. “Ryker,” I whisper.
“Shh,” he places his finger over my lips. “I need to memorize this feeling. I’ve been missing this. You have no idea how fucking amazing you feel wrapped around me Brynne,” he coos. He's acting like an addict who just got their fix after going days without their drug. He finally retreats and then pushes back inside of me. My ass scoots on my desk and the papers underneath my ass crumble under my weight.
Ryker grabs my legs and pushes himself deeper inside of me and I feel like a puddle of pure ecstasy. Every thrust makes my heels hit his ass. His thighs hit the end of my desk every time we came together. I can't feel anything but the sensation of his cock hitting the exact spot I need. I feel like I've melted and have molded in Ryker. Like we are one and this feeling traveling throughout my body is an extension of him.
“ Right t-there,” I stutter through thrust.
“Oh baby, I don’t think I would have survived another day without this,” Ryker says through a breath. His breathing is labored and I know he is giving all of himself to me. I can feel myself tightening around his cock. He continues and my moans become louder with each push of his hips. I lean back on my elbows so he can see all of me when he continues to chase his pleasure.
“Ryker,” I say breathlessly. “I want your cum,” I whine. He smiles and my body threatens to give in right there.
“Oh, you’ll get my come baby,” Ryker coos .
I reach up and yank him down over me. I kiss his lips. “Cum with me Ryker. I want your cum inside me,” I beg. Ryker looks conflicted. I’ve slept with Ryker once more after the woods, but he has never cum inside me like the other boys. He finished in my ass the first time we ever fucked but I want him to fill me.
“ Brynne, I,” he thrusts back and pushes in again.
“Ryker, please,” I say breathlessly in between another thrust. I moan when he pushes forward again. “I need you inside me,” I look into his eyes and I can see the hesitation. Why doesn’t he want to cum inside me? He can’t be worried that I have something since he went right in with no condom every time. “Ryker I-I’m close,” I moan.
“Ryker,” thrust.
“Ryker,” thrust.
“I-I’m cumming,” Ryker says as he pushes forward again and connects our bodies. He pulls out immediately
afterward and watches his cum leak out of me onto my desk. “Brynne,” he says in a frantic voice. I close my legs and stand next to him. I place my hand on his cheek.
“ What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I can’t do that again,” he says sternly. I can hear the worry laced in every word.
“ Why?” I ask curiously.
“Why?” he laughs nervously. He points to my stomach and shakes his head. “I don’t know what your deal is with the other guys, but I don’t want kids. Ever,” he explains. I turn around and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry if that upsets you, but, ”
“I can’t have kids,” I cut Ryker off. The memories start to flood in like a horror slideshow.
“What?” Ryker says in disbelief. He walks over to me and slowly turns me around. “Are you sure?” he asks softly. He plucks a sweaty piece of my hair from my forehead and tucks it behind my ear.
“Yes,” I say curtly.
“I’m sorry,” he says before wrapping me in a hug.
“Sorry for what? It's not your fault I can’t.” Ryker pulls me from his chest and looks down at me. I know he wants an explanation. I should tell all of the guys since they’re probably worried about the same thing. Ryker not wanting to do that is completely justified. There is no way we could bring a child into our lives. We are serial killers for fuck sake. How the hell would you explain your line of work to your child?
“ Who?” his eyes darken. I need to stop letting my
guard down so much that these men can read me. I’m a master at hiding my emotions, so why does my body betray me when I’m around them?
“I’m not sure their names,” I shrug one shoulder. I’m about to tell Ryker about the following month after that week in the mountains. The weeks when I knew I was dying. I didn’t know I was pregnant from the last time they had taken me. I was a child myself, so it was a blessing in disguise to get rid of the child. “I had an a,” we’re cut off by hushing in the hallway.
Ryker looks at me like he wants to continue this conversation, but I’m more curious about who is trying to be sneaky outside my office door. I find Ryker’s clothes and throw them at him. “Put these on,” I demand. I grab my clothes and hurry to get dressed .
“I’ll be keeping these,” Ryker jokes as he finds my
panties and shoves them into his pocket. He pulls his white t- shirt over his head. I open the door to my office and see Adam talking to a woman who looks worried. There’s no one else in the hallway and I take it upon myself to eavesdrop.
If what the guys told me about Adam, then he is in for a rude awakening. I don’t know why he would sleep with a married woman, let alone the mayor's wife. If whoever was threatening Damon gets ahold of Adam then we are going to be in trouble. We can’t have police in our business, especially after Max going missing .
“What is he saying?” Ryker asks.
“I’m not sure, but she looks scared,” I say.
“I would be scared too if my husband planned to make me disappear,” Ryker says. I turn around to face him but we both get distracted when Tara slaps Adam across the face. She storms past my door. I take the opportunity to step out in the hallway.
“Everything alright?” I ask Adam. He has his hand on his cheek and he looks me up and down.
“Everything is fine,” he snaps. “Everything alright in your office?” he looks at my blouse and then at Ryker. I can feel the judgment through his gaze. Ryker pushes forward and starts down the hallway.
“What was that?” he says angrily. Adam’s eyes widen at Ryker coming toward him. I hurry to fix my blouse button and then go after Ryker.
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Adam back peddles.
“Ryker, come on,” I grab his bicep and pull him back .
“Brynne I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that. I
didn’t mean anything by what I said,” he stutters. He keeps looking back and forth between Ryker and me.
“You wouldn’t want to go around assuming things Dr. Epson. People may assume things too, especially with an outburst like that with the mayor’s wife,” Ryker says as he sizes him up. Adam backs down like the coward that he is.
“Come on, we have to finish our session.” I pull Ryker again and he finally listens and follows me. Adam apologizes again when I get Ryker inside my office. I nod and disappear into my office. “Are you out of your mind?” I ask. I walk up to him and kiss his lips.
“Wait are you mad at me or are you happy? You sound pissed but you just kissed me,” Ryker asks.
“Thank you for sticking up for me, but I don’t need you to handle my problems Ry,” Rykers face softens.
“My brother used to call me Ry,” he admits. He kisses my lips and I soften in his embrace. How can we call ourselves killers if this is how we react to each other? We can’t go around getting soft on each other. When you let your guard down you make mistakes and we can't afford to let that happen.
“ I’m sorry,” I say.
“Don’t ever apologize for that. It felt good to be called that again. Especially by you,” Ryker smiles. “I’m sorry for acting that way, but I can't promise that I won't do it again. I won't let anyone disrespect you like that,”
It's my turn to smile this time. I look up at the clock and realize we have used up well past our allotted appointment time. “You better get going,” I nod toward the clock on the wall. “I’ll have to charge you extra for going over the two hours,” I wink .
Ryker pulls me in for another kiss. “You wouldn’t dare,” he narrows his eyes in a challenge.
“Try me,” I retort. He kisses me again before leaving. It takes me fifteen minutes to realize he left his flannel on my chair. I was wondering why it still smelled like him. I pull his flannel on over my blouse and get back to work. I look down at my phone and realize I have a message from Clara.
She’s been updating me on Max and constantly reminding me how dangerous it’s going to be to get to David. The only dangerous thing about this mission is me and the boys. David is caught in my web and I can’t wait to see if he's a talker like his son.