Chapter Twenty-one #3
My heart exploded at that. Panic rose in my chest, convinced he’d see straight through me and actually knew that I was carrying his child. But I wasn’t ready to share that, not yet. I needed things to be clear on my end before telling him.
“Uh… yeah… one day,” I stammered.
“I mean, specifically, would you want to have kids with me?”
If there were any pieces of my heart left, that was the moment they shattered.
“We might get divorced, Konflict. I’m not really thinking about having your kid right now. Hell, we’ve never even had a real relationship that’d make me want to picture a family. So for now, no.”
He looked down, a bit hurt.
“Right. I get it. But if I could make you want something real, with me, would you ever want to build that family? Have kids?”
God, he was so damn vulnerable as if I could crush every hope he had with one word. And having a man like Konflict vulnerable was something I never expected.
“You said we had to be honest, so I’ll say it and I hope it answers your question.
Before the Big Six council forced us to marry, I had a massive crush on you.
I used to dream of being your wife and giving you kids.
But this last year of marriage destroyed all of that, and I stopped imagining having kids with you.
So I don’t know what I’ll want tomorrow.
We’ll see. If things change, maybe. Or maybe I’ll still never want to deal with you. ”
His gaze pierced me, deeply, and filled me with both sadness and hope. I didn’t want to pretend everything was fixed, or that I’d forgiven him and wanted a family now. Because that wasn’t true. He’d hurt me and I still felt that pain.
“Okay. So that’s a maybe. I’ll do everything I can to get you to a yes because to me, you are the mother of my children, Serenity. I’m sorry again for screwing things up, but I’m determined to show you that life with me is worth it.”
His words hit me, but I fought to keep my face neutral. Luckily, Konflict didn’t dwell.
“All right, my next question: When and why did you get the Venus planet tattoo over your heart?”
He looked up at me.
“I always watched you from afar. If I couldn’t talk to you, I still wanted to know everything—your life, your friends, what made you laugh or cry.
I hated every guy who made you smile when I couldn’t.
When you started calling yourself Venus in college, I got it—you wanted a name with your family’s letter.
I thought it suited you, but I didn’t want any other guy calling you that.
So I made sure they used Serenity, and I was the only one who could ever say Venus.
Since I never got to say it to you, I tattooed it over my heart. ”
“What?” I blurted, surprised by his words. “You told all the guys around me not to call me Venus? Is that why no man ever used that name, even when I introduced myself that way?”
“Yup, and I’m proud of it. If I had to do it again, I would.”
“You’re insane.”
“Yeah, but you loved me anyway, didn’t you?”
I ran a hand over my face to hide my smile. He was insane, but I must be toxic as hell myself if my heart was racing over something so possessive. God, what’s wrong with me?
We spent the whole evening asking each other questions about our lives, our families, the things we liked.
He asked a lot about my time with his mother.
His eyes lit up every time I talked about her.
I could tell she was the person he loved most in the world.
And honestly, she was that for me too. Somehow, the love we both had for Kate Korven echoed between us and actually brought us closer.
He asked about my passion for flowers, and just like when I talked about his mom, I couldn’t help but get excited. If my father hadn’t forced me into business management, I would’ve gone for horticulture because every time I’m around flowers, it’s the only time I really feel alive.
“I really wanted to give you flowers that day,” he said, remembering that night at Vixen’s.
“I fucked up bad, though. I had no idea what white lilies meant. Hell, I never paid attention to that on my mother’s grave either.
Even the florist gave me a weird look when I told him to send you a dozen.
Imagine my shock when you wanted to shoot my dick off for sending you funeral flowers.
Shit, I thought you were gonna kill me that day. ”
I burst out laughing because the look on his face instantly took me back. I was so angry, I really did want to kill him.
“Thank God I had no idea you were Knox at that point. Otherwise, I’d have at least put a bullet in your foot.”
“Oh, trust me, after what my hand went through three weeks ago, I don’t doubt it,” he said, grinning.
“Is it healing? Your hand?” I asked, glancing at the spot where I’d shot him a few weeks ago.
He held out his hand for me. Gently, I took it, brushing my fingers over his skin, examining the wound. The contact sent my heart racing, even though I tried to ignore it.
“It’s getting better.”
His voice was deep, sending a jolt straight to my clit.
I remembered he hadn’t been inside me in weeks and God I missed him.
I missed his body, missed the feeling of his dick buried deep inside me, missed the filthy things he whispered in my ear when he fucked me.
But I scolded myself for being that weak, for wanting him just like that when the wound he left in my heart was still wide open.
I let go of his hand and cleared my throat. “Okay, your turn for a question,” I said, desperate to break the tension.
“What’s your favorite kind of music?” Konflict said, reading out the next slip of paper. “Hmm, I’m not sure I should tell you.”
“What is it?” I pressed, genuinely curious. “Metal or something? I’d swear it’s rap, but now you’ve got me curious.”
He grinned wickedly, then moaned in a perfect imitation of my own voice: “Ahhhh, Konflict... Hmmm... That’s good, baby... Fuck me... This dick is so good... Fuck, I can’t take it anymore... I’m coming.”
My eyes bugged out, embarrassment burning through me. The next second, I pounced on him, smacking him in the chest, mortified.
“What is wrong with you! You’re insane!”
“What? That’s my favorite music, everyone’s got their tastes,” he laughed, blocking my smacks with his arms.
“You can’t say stuff like that! We were talking about music, not… That’s not music!”
Suddenly, he flipped me onto the couch, pinning me underneath him.
My legs opened, wrapping themselves around his waist. His hands pinned mine into the cushions above my head.
His face hovered over mine, our mouths just barely apart, our breaths mingling.
One of his hands slid sensually over my body and I felt my own desire blaze out of control.
My pussy was soaking, aching for him, especially with his dick pressing between my legs.
I could feel it even through his pants. He pressed closer, rolling his hips, and the movement dragged a moan out of me before I could stop it.
“Hmmm... Fuck...”
“See… It’s music,” he whispered against my lips, pressing his dick harder. My pussy pulsed.
“Konflict...” I moaned his name.
He bent closer to my ear. “Can I call you baby, please?”
He rocked his hips against me slowly, as if he was fucking me. The lack of sex hit me hard. My legs squeezed his waist, urging him closer. In that moment, I wasn’t thinking. I was all hormones and need, desperate for his fat dick to be buried deep inside me.
“Hmmmm…”
“Can I call you baby, Serenity? Have I earned that right?”
“Y-Yes... Konflict... Call me baby.”
He kissed my neck and my craving for him exploded, all heat and hunger.
“Baby... I want you so bad. I miss you, Mama. I miss this pussy. I want to fuck you hard and make love to you slow...”
God, how was I supposed to resist? His hands knew exactly how to touch my body, making me respond to nothing but his desire.
His mouth knew how to whisper words that sent need straight to my core.
I lost all sense. All I wanted was him, his tongue on my clit, his fingers and his dick deep inside me.
“Please,” I begged.
He ground against me a few more times, then suddenly stopped.
“No,” he said, and the shock of his refusal nearly made me cry.
My eyes filled with tears, and I didn’t find anything funny.
“Listen, I’m not trying to punish you, baby.
Hell, you can feel how bad I want you. But I can’t fuck you, not until you trust me enough to give me your heart.
I broke you once, and even though I swear I’ll never do that again, you need to trust me.
You need time to open up, to give yourself to me, willingly, with nothing hidden this time.
You know the man who always takes what he wants.
Now I want you to know the man who can wait, the man who’ll show you every day that you’re worth worshipping, loving, adoring.
And only when you feel safe with me, when you’re ready to give me your heart, your soul, your lips, your pussy.
.. I’ll take it all, and I’ll cherish it more than my own life. ”
My heart thundered at his words. I never thought Konflict was capable of so much tenderness. I realized he was finally giving me what I’d always dreamed of. And I felt like I couldn’t handle it. It was too much... it was too deep. And I was terrified I’d be wrong. Again.
“Is that okay?” he asked. “If it’s not, I’ll make love to you right now, but I know you’ll beat yourself up later for giving in while things are still a mess in your head.
I can wait, baby. You can wait too. Just let me prove these aren’t empty words.
Let me show you who Konflict really is, the man who’s had a crush on you since he was twelve. Will you let me?”
I nodded, unable to speak because my throat was too tight.
“Good. I’ll walk you to your room. You’re going to sleep like a baby tonight then tomorrow we’ll have our first date. I want to seduce you, Serenity, until you have no choice but to love me, again.”
He stood up, lifting me with him. My legs stayed wrapped around his waist, my face buried in his neck. Wordlessly, he carried me to my room, setting me on my feet at the door.
“Wait a few minutes, I’ll be right back,” he said, leaving me at the doorway to my room.
I watched him walk away and disappear into his own room. A few minutes later, he came back with a bag in his hand.
“I didn’t have time to put these in your bathroom before I came to get you. I bought them a little late. These are what you use for your hair, right?” he asked, looking concerned.
I was honestly shocked when I peeked inside and saw a whole set of hair care products for my afro.
A detangler, hydrating cream, a hair mask, a mini heating cap, a wide-tooth brush that looked just like mine, hair ties, thread, even a satin bonnet for sleeping. I was so stunned I couldn’t say a word.
“Did I forget something?” he asked.
“No… I don’t think so. I think you got everything. You… you bought all this yourself?”
“Uh, yeah. One of the maids at the Korven estate helped me find the right stuff. And I know you do your hair routine before bed, so I got what you’d need. Can I come inside and help with your hair?”
Oh my God. Could he get any more adorable? Because, hello? Who was this man and where had he been all this time?
I nodded, and we went into my room together.
He was so into it, actually focused on my whole moisturizing routine.
When I started to detangle, he asked if he could do it.
I handed him the brush, and carefully, he worked through each section.
In the mirror, I could see how concentrated he was, like he was solving a math problem.
“I’m obsessed with your hair,” he said as he brushed it gently. “I love when you wear it out in an afro, with a few flowers in it.”
“You noticed?” I asked, surprised he’d remembered that detail.
He looked up at me in the mirror. “Of course I notice every little thing about you. Baby, when you’re in the same room as me, you’re all I see.
I track every move you make like you’ve got me under some kind of spell or some shit.
Hell, I’m pretty sure you’ve got some voodoo on me.
When you sleep, I even try to count your eyelashes. ”
“Oh my God. You’re such a creep.”
“Yeah… but I’m your creep, eh?”
I smiled softly. “Okay, I think you’ve brushed this side enough. I’m going to use some thread to tie it up. This style keeps it from breaking,” I said, trying to take my hair back.
He tapped my hand. “Show me how to do it.”
“It’s a little technical, especially if you’ve never done it before.”
“Serenity, does it take a PhD to tie hair with thread? I’m an engineer, after all. Respect my skills, woman!”
I laughed, because God, he was actually funny. I showed him what to do, and he did it. After a few minutes, he’d brushed and styled my whole head.
“And voilà,” he said, clearly proud of his work. “Not too bad for my first time, eh?”
“It’s actually good,” I admitted.
“Well, tomorrow I’ll do better.”
“So you’re really planning to do my hair again tomorrow?”
“And the day after, and every other night. You got a problem with me taking care of my woman’s hair?”
“No,” I replied, amused, butterflies going wild in my stomach. “Didn’t think you were the type for this.”
“Well, now you know. And don’t you break our nightly ritual, or I’ll take it as an act of treason.”
“You’re not even serious,” I chuckled.
“I’m dead ass.”
Then he gently slipped my silk bonnet over my hair, adjusted it, and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“Goodnight, baby.”
Then he walked away, leaving chaos in my head and my heart. God, I think I was falling for my husband all over again.
Fucking fuck!