CHAPTER 31
Emma
I look down at the Mercedes floor mats and the blue sneakers I bought for two dollars at the Goodwill in Reno. They’re canvas, and I had to knot one of the shoelaces when it broke.
I glance over to see that Finn wears well-worn cowboy boots. They’re dusty and scuffed up, but it’s obvious they’re super expensive, probably hand-made. They’re the kind of boots you take to get resoled instead of replacing. The kind of boots that are designed to last a lifetime.
I suspect most everything about Finn is like that. Quality. Cared for. Built for the long haul.
“You situated?”
I nod. He shuts the door, and I watch him jog around to the other side and hop up in the driver’s seat. He lets out a satisfied sigh and caresses the leather steering wheel. “Now, this is more like it. I don’t have to be a contortionist to fit.”
“You’re very tall.” The instant the words escape, I regret it. I wish I were more of a conversationalist, more clever than I am. But I can’t shove the words back in my mouth, so they just hang there between us. Inappropriate.
It is all kinds of wrong for an employee to comment on her boss’s height, his weight, his dark curls, those eyes of his that are the color of a midnight sky, his SUV, his daughter, or how sexy he is.
Too sexy. Irresistibly sexy. Dangerously sexy.
“Six-foot-four,” he says.
It takes me a moment to realize he’s talking about his height. I’d already moved way past that in my mind.
“Everyone asks us, but no, none of us ever played basketball. We played football and baseball some, but mostly, we were too busy shooting and riding and getting into trouble to focus on team sports. Until the SEALs, anyway, which is the ultimate team sport.”
He shoots me a smile that takes my breath away.
I swallow. “All of you were SEALs?”
He nods. “Right down the line. But we all got out at the same time. We started our own company.”
“I see.”
Finn starts the car, but he then he immediately turns it off and turns to me. Something is about to happen. Every nerve ending in my body goes on the fritz when he leans in toward me. His hand reaches out. I’m sure he’s going to pull a Declan on me, just grab my arm and haul me away.
And then he’ll kiss me.
I struggle against the instinct to close my eyes. I need to see him, watch him as our lips meet for the first time.
Finn is an outrageously handsome man. But I’ve seen handsome men before and never felt this spellbound, this kind of intense awareness.
So I think the attraction I feel isn’t just about his looks.
It’s because of who he is. A man who protects his daughter.
A man who lost his wife in the worst possible kind of tragedy but has kept going.
A man who knows what it means to be part of a loving family.
The same man who looks at me with hunger in his gaze.
I still. My lips part because I’m powerless to stop them. My body is on autopilot, demanding that I sit up and take notice of what’s happening, and then give in to it.
Finn comes nearer. His hand reaches across my body and…
He grabs the seatbelt, yanks it across me, and fastens it with a click!
“Safety first,” he whispers, his face nearly touching mine. His breath caresses my mouth, and my tongue sweeps over my lower lip as if to catch it and taste it.
His violet eyes darken, and he stops breathing altogether. “I wouldn’t want to lose you, Emma,” he adds, his voice low and gravelly.
He leans back into his seat and stares forward for a long moment before he pushes the button to start the car. He clicks his own seatbelt.
We drive halfway back to the ranch in complete silence. No words. No music. No road noise seeping in through the Mercedes’s windows. When he finally does speak, I’m so startled that I jump in my seat.
“So, you’re from Reno.”
“I think so. I mean, as far as I know.”
“That’s an interesting answer. What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t really like talking about myself much. I hope you don’t mind.”
I stop the interrogation before it starts. Phyllis already grilled me today, and she’ll certainly pass on to Finn what she’s heard. With Finn, I want a fresh slate. I want to be a different person. A different woman.
A woman who isn’t defined by past hardships. A woman who is finally coming into her own, or at least trying.
That’s who I want Finn to know.
“Fair enough. May I ask how you like the ranch? Do you need anything?”
“I love the ranch.” I blurt this out like a woman desperate to stay. Which I am.
“I know Reno is a city, but do you like to ride?”
“Ride…?”
“A horse.”
“I’ve never been on a horse. In fact, I’ve never been in the country until two days ago.”
Finn laughs. “Well, you’re in for it now, since country is all we got around here. I can teach you to ride, if you’d like.”
I stare down at my hands, fiddling and twisting in my lap.
“You don’t have to do that, Finn. I know you’re a very busy man.
” I raise my head and stare straight ahead out the windshield.
“I’m here to make your homelife run smoother so that you can do the things you’d rather do.
The last thing I want is to be a bother. ”
Finn lets out a sharp laugh. “Okay.” He stays quiet a moment, and I worry I came off as too prissy, too stiff.
It’s safe to say that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I worry about being too much and then I worry about not being enough. I worry I’m coming off as too interested and then a minute later I worry I sound standoffish.
It’s funny, really. I met Finn because I work for him, and that means I can never have more. But if we’d met some other way out in the world, he wouldn’t have even noticed I was alive, which would mean I could never have more.
It’s a lose-lose situation. I’m the loser.
“You’re not a bother.” Finn’s voice sounds strained. “I think I would enjoy teaching you, and once you’re comfortable, you can go riding with Jasmine. She’d like that… a lot.”
I cast a sideways glance his way, trying not to move my head. His profile indicates he’s serious. He might trust me with Jasmine one day. “Thank you.” It’s the only response I can manage.
We arrive at the ranch, and Finn parks in front of his house. “You didn’t answer my question,” he says.
“What question?”
“Do you need anything, Emma?”
My skin prickles. My body hums. The sound of my name on his tongue is almost too much for me. Oh, good gracious I’m seeing spots.
“I need… yes, um, I might like to go grocery shopping at some point. If you want me to continue cooking, I mean. If you don’t, that’s perfectly understandable. Just let me know. I don’t want to interfere with your routine or step on anyone’s toes or make—”
One corner of Finn’s mouth curls up. I go silent.
“You’re a spectacular cook. Please cook for us, Emma.”
“I’d love to.” I smile at him. “Phyllis stocked your house with some food while we were out last night.”
He nods. “I figured. I mean, those bomb-ass muffins weren’t made of sand and Barbie shoes from the donate pile.”
I freeze. I’m on the verge of chuckling, but I’m not sure if that would be okay. I’m not familiar with his sense of humor, though I think he has one, and it’s on the dry side. But has he really moved on enough from that horrible moment that he can poke fun at himself?
That was only yesterday!
I stare at him, my heartbeat thudding in my ears, a thousand questions spinning in my brain.
Then he laughs.
Relief turns my suppressed chuckle into a loud snort, which makes him laugh even harder.
He digs in his pocket and pulls out his wallet and money clip. Finn slips out a black American Express card and pulls several hundred-dollar bills from the clip. “Feed me all day, every day, whatever you want to feed me and for as long as you’d like to do the feeding.”
He reaches for one of my hands and lifts it, turning it palm side up. Then he places the card and cash in the flat of my hand. He smiles softly at me. “Jasmine and I know that we’ve lucked out with you, Emma.”
I stare at the credit card and the cash. No one has ever trusted me with twenty bucks, let alone this.
His hand continues to support mine. His skin is warm. “Keep the card. Use it for any household expenses, anything you might want or need. I’ll get another one.”
My throat constricts and my hands tremble. All I can do is nod.
We get out of the car, and I walk toward the front door. I’m greeted with the bucket of soapy water and the sponge I left behind many hours ago. I don’t like half-finished cleaning jobs. I get antsy knowing I dropped the ball like that.
“I can make steaks for dinner tonight.”
I say this only to discover that Finn hasn’t walked up the steps with me. He’s still standing in the gravel by the car, face lifted, watching me, the oddest expression in his eyes.
“Hey, Emma,” he says. “You want to see the new filly I just bought? I think she’s going to be my pride and joy.”
“Sure.” I shove the money and credit card in my front pocket, thrilled that he would even think to share something like that with me.
And I’m absolutely, positively, terrified about what may happen next.