5. Lucy
5
LUCY
I can still feel his lips on mine—warm, insistent, and entirely unexpected. As I sit in the living room, watching the boys play a rowdy game of tag, their energy barely contained by the walls of Joel’s house, my thoughts refuse to cooperate. They circle back to that moment in the storage room and his kiss at the festival, repeatedly, teasing me with what it meant… and what it didn’t.
“Lucy, are you okay?” Miles’s voice breaks through the haze, his wide, curious eyes looking up at me.
I blink and force a smile. “Of course, bud. Just daydreaming.”
“Daydreaming about what?” Finn chimes in, his grin mischievous as he climbs onto the couch beside me.
“Pancakes,” I say, poking his side to make him giggle. “Extra syrup, lots of whipped cream. Maybe even chocolate chips.”
Miles groans dramatically. “You’re making me hungry!”
“Good,” I say, ruffling his hair. “Dinner’s soon. Go wash up, both of you.”
They scamper off, and I let out a slow breath. My heart is still racing, and it has nothing to do with pancakes. What are we doing? Joel and I. we’ve crossed some invisible line, and now I’m not sure if I’ll ever find my way back. Worse, I’m not sure if I want to.
The sound of a light knock and the front door opening snaps me out of my thoughts. Aiden steps in, his familiar presence both comforting and, at this moment, unsettling. He’s still in his work clothes, the sleeves of his button-down rolled up, his tie slightly loosened. When his eyes land on me, they narrow just slightly.
“Hey, Luce,” he says, dropping his keys onto the entryway table. “Where’s Joel?”
“Still at the hospital,” I reply, standing and smoothing my hands over my jeans. “Long shift, I guess.”
Aiden looks at me, his gaze lingering. “How’s it going here? Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I say, a little too quickly. “The boys are great. Joel’s… Joel. You know.”
He doesn’t laugh. Instead, he crosses his arms, leaning against the wall. “You two seem… closer than I expected.”
The statement hangs in the air, heavy with unspoken meaning. My stomach twists, and I try to keep my expression neutral. “We’re just figuring things out. It’s a big change for everyone.”
Aiden’s eyes narrow further, his jaw tightening. “Figuring things out, huh? So, this whole fake relationship thing… that’s the plan?”
I freeze, my pulse quickening. “So, Joel talked to you about it?”
He pushes off the wall, stepping closer, his frustration now evident in the set of his shoulders. “Luce, come on. Do you really think this is a good idea? Playing pretend with Joel? This isn’t some rom-com where everything works out perfectly in the end. You’re my sister. You’re too smart for this.”
I cross my arms, trying to keep my voice steady. “Aiden, I know what I’m doing. This is temporary. It’s for the boys, for Joel, for…” I trail off, realizing how weak my argument sounds even to myself.
Aiden exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. “And what happens when ‘temporary’ turns into something more? What happens when you get hurt? Or when he does? You think you’re just going to walk away from this unscathed?”
“I’m not planning on walking away,” I snap, my frustration bubbling to the surface. “And I’m not some naive little girl who needs you to swoop in and save her. I get to decide how I live my life, Aiden.”
“I’m not trying to swoop in,” he shoots back, his voice rising slightly. “But dammit, Lucy, you have dreams! You wanted more than this. You wanted to travel, to create. You wanted to be more than just… a nanny.”
The words hit like a slap, and I take a step back, my heart pounding. “Just a nanny?” I repeat, my voice trembling with anger. “Is that what you think I am? Some babysitter who’s too stupid to know what she wants?”
Aiden’s expression softens slightly, guilt flashing across his face. “That’s not what I meant. I just… I don’t want you to settle. You’re better than that, Luce. You’re better than all of this.”
“This is my life,” I say, my voice firm despite the tears threatening to spill. “And maybe it doesn’t look like what you imagined for me, but it’s mine. I’m happy, Aiden. I’m doing what feels right for me. And if you can’t see that, then maybe you’re the one who needs to figure things out.”
The silence that follows is deafening. Aiden’s shoulders slump slightly, and he lets out a long breath. “I just want what’s best for you,” he says quietly.
“I know,” I reply, softening as well. “But what’s best for me is something only I can decide.”
He nods, but I can see the conflict still brewing in his eyes. Without another word, I turn and head to the kitchen, my hands trembling as I grab a glass of water. The conversation replays in my mind, his words echoing with a mix of love and frustration. And though I’m angry, a small part of me wonders if he’s right—if I’m playing with fire and pretending it won’t burn.
Dinner is a subdued affair. The boys chatter about their day, oblivious to the tension hanging over the table. Aiden stays for the meal, his watchful gaze darting between me and the empty seat Joel would normally occupy. By the time the dishes are cleared, Aiden’s headed home, and the boys are tucked into bed, I’m emotionally drained.
I’m sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the TV, when the door opens again. This time, it’s Joel. His tie is gone, his hair slightly mussed, and the weariness in his eyes is palpable. When he sees me, his expression softens, and my chest tightens in response.
“Long day?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
He nods, dropping onto the couch beside me. The cushions dip under his weight, and the proximity sends a shiver down my spine. “You could say that. How was everything here?”
“Good,” I say. “Aiden stopped by.”
His brows lift. “Oh?”
“Yeah.” I hesitate, then add, “He… he had some things to say.”
Joel’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t press. Instead, he leans back, his head resting against the couch. For a moment, neither of us speaks, the silence filled only by the newscaster on the TV.
Finally, he breaks the silence. “Lucy.”
The way he says my name sends a jolt through me. It’s not a question or a statement. It’s something else entirely, something that makes my pulse quicken. I turn to him, and the look in his eyes steals my breath.
“About earlier,” he begins, his voice low and rough. “At the festival and in the storage room…”
“Joel,” I interrupt, my heart pounding. “You don’t have to?—”
“I do,” he says firmly. “Because it’s all I’ve been able to think about.”
My breath catches. His words hang in the air, heavy and charged, and I don’t know what to say. Part of me wants to tell him I feel the same, that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it either. But the other part of me, the cautious, practical part, warns me to tread carefully.
“Joel,” I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. “This is… complicated.”
“I know,” he says, his gaze never leaving mine. “But that doesn’t change how I feel.”
The vulnerability in his voice cracks something inside me. Before I can respond, he stands, the tension in his body visible.
“I should get some sleep,” he says, his tone clipped. “Goodnight, Lucy.”
And just like that, he’s gone, leaving me alone with the storm of emotions he’s stirred up.
The next morning, I’m in the kitchen, getting out cereal and bowls while the boys chatter excitedly about their plans for the day. Joel’s absence is noticeable, his chair at the table conspicuously empty. When he finally appears, dressed for work, he’s distant, his usual warmth replaced by a guardedness that makes my chest ache.
“Morning,” I say, forcing a smile.
“Morning,” he replies, grabbing a mug of coffee. He doesn’t look at me, and the tension is suffocating.
The boys notice, too, their usual chatter quieter than normal as they glance between us. I try to focus on them, on the easy rhythm we’ve built in this house, but my thoughts keep drifting back to Joel and the wall he’s clearly rebuilding between us.
“Are you mad at Lucy?” Finn’s question catches everyone off guard, his small voice cutting through the silence like a knife. Joel’s head snaps up, his green eyes wide with surprise.
“No, buddy,” he says quickly, his voice softening. “I’m not mad at Lucy.”
“Then why are you being weird?” Finn presses, his innocent curiosity impossible to deflect.
Joel sighs, setting down his coffee mug. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Long night at work.”
Finn seems satisfied with the answer, but I’m not. Joel’s gaze flickers to mine, and in that brief moment, I see the turmoil he’s trying so hard to hide.
Later, when the boys are at school and Joel is at the hospital, Aiden calls me. His voice is serious, his usual lighthearted tone replaced with something heavier.
“Luce, I’ve been thinking about what I said yesterday. I want you to know that I only interfere out of love,” he begins. “And I just… I need you to be honest with me. Is there something going on between you and Joel?”
The directness of his question leaves me reeling. I open my mouth to answer, but no words come out. Because I don’t know how to answer. Not when I’m still trying to figure it out myself.
“Lucy,” Aiden says, his voice softer now. “You know I just want what’s best for you. And Joel… he’s my best friend, but he’s also complicated. He’s been through a lot, and he’s not always great at letting people in. I just… I don’t want you to get hurt.”
His words echo in my mind long after we hang up. Because as much as I want to believe Joel and I can figure this out, Aiden’s right about one thing: Joel is complicated. And if I’m not careful, I’m going to fall for him completely—and that might be the riskiest thing I’ve ever done.