13. Aspen
Lily has fallen asleep by the time we dock, the afternoon sunlight casting a hazy glow over Lake Lanier behind us. I move to pick her up, but Caden beats me to it, scooping her up easily from where she has dozed off in the lounge chair. The little girl doesn’t flinch, obviously accustomed to the feel of her guardian’s stronghold, and I’m a little jealous of the security she’s experiencing.
She has three men who would die for her. They love her so much. She’s such a lucky kid.
I wish I’d met Ryker and Alexandra. I don’t understand the bond that Caden, Flint, and Pike shared with them, either, but who am I to comprehend anyone’s close relationships when all of mine had gone to hell?
“Are you coming, Aspen?”
I shiver and pick up the pace to join the pair at the waiting Range Rover where Ryan stands with the door open.
The three of us pile into the back, and Ryan retreats to the front, driving away from the marina with no instructions from Caden, who keeps Lily on his lap. The sight of this grown man holding a little, delicate child warms my heart.
“She’s wiped,” he chuckles after a minute. “Maybe I should take her home.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “We’re not going home?”
“I wasn’t planning on it yet.”
“Where are we going?” I ask nervously, unsure if I have any adventures left in me for the day.
“Shopping. The kid needs some new stuff,” he answers evasively.
My eyes narrow, but he dips his head to look at Lily, who murmurs something in her sleep. I’ve seen Lily’s closet. The girl wants for nothing.
“What does she need?” I ask suspiciously.
“Stuff,” he answers again, and I hear the faint buzz of his cell phone ringing. It’s the third or fourth time today that he’s ignored it.
“Are you going to answer that?”
“Nah. It’s not important.”
I settle back in the soft leather seat, trying to figure him out. On the surface, he appears lackadaisical, superficial, almost, but I know that’s hiding something deeper. He’s trying too hard to keep up with this noncommittal fa?ade.
He’s really lucky that his career gives him so much free time. I don’t suppose that is normal for most plastic surgeons.
“Why did you choose plastic surgery as a career?” I ask bluntly.
His cocksure grin fades, and a scowl replaces it. “A lot of the procedures are elective, so I don’t have to deal as much with insurance companies. There’s a lot of money in plastic surgery.”
“You have to work to make money, right? It seems like you have a lot of time off,” I quip. He stares at me, and for half a second, I think he’s going to yell at me. I recoil inwardly, waiting for him to berate me, a throwback response from all of those foster parents who were best left in the past.
But to my surprise, he chortles. “Touché,” he agrees. “I have a full staff at my practice, so I pick my hours.”
I”m eager to delve deeper, to break through the fa?ade of indifference he always wears. “Did you always want to become a plastic surgeon?”
He shakes his head. “Not always.”
When he doesn’t elaborate, I continue to probe. “Did you try something else first?”
“Emergency room doctor,” he confesses. “But it wasn’t for me.” He gives me a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes.
“That’s quite a one-eighty.”
“Sure is. You lose a hell of a lot fewer people giving Botox injections than you do dealing with car accidents and suicide attempts.”
The heaviness of his statement hurts my heart, the pain in his voice flooding the interior of the car as it slows.
“Ah. We’re here,” he announces, sounding grateful for the shift in conversation. I turn my head to look out the window and notice that splatters of rain have touched the windowpanes in the middle of our discussion.
“We’re in Atlanta!” I’m shocked by the discovery.
Caden snickers. “Of course. We won’t find good fashion in Cypress Gardens, will we?”
I quickly realize that we’re also nowhere near any children’s stores, my suspicion mounting as Ryan pulls up in a “No Stopping” zone.
“I’ll text you when we’re done, Ryan,” Caden informs the driver, collecting Lily in his arms again, but the child stirs awake.
“Where are we?” Lily yawns, rubbing her dark eyes sleepily.
“We’re going shopping, Lilbug,” Caden announces, and suddenly, Lily is wide awake.
“We are?!” she exclaims. “Yay!”
Shaking my head in disbelief, I’m amazed at how well Caden knows the little girl.
He can do no wrong in her eyes. I hope she always sees him as perfect.
I’m seeing Caden the same way.
* * *
It’s becoming obvious that this shopping trip has nothing to do with Lily at all.
“Oh! This will look nice on you, Aspen!” my three-foot-tall fashion assistant informs me.
“I don’t need new clothes,” I insist, thinking about my handsome paycheck disappearing with a single outfit purchase in this too-expensive store.
Why has Caden brought me here? I can’t afford any of this, and I don’t need a new wardrobe.
He pulls me aside.
“I don’t want to make you feel awkward, but I noticed that some of your outfits need a bit of an upgrade. Cypress Gardens is a… connected town. People talk amongst themselves.”
My cheeks flame with embarrassment. I hadn’t thought of that—or budgeted for it, either. The money from my checks is accounted for. I don’t have extra money for clothes of this caliber. But I need to blend in, he’s right. I’ve seen what the other nannies are wearing to the playgroup, and it isn’t thrift-store finds.
How do I tell him I can’t afford it?
I swallow, thinking of the bit of leeway I’ve made on my credit card. Maybe I can get by with an outfit. There’s a bit of room on one credit card.
“Okay,” I agree, stifling the mounting sense of dread that has been threatening to consume me for years.
Damn you, Sean. I hope you’re happy now that you’ve completely ruined my life.
I toss the thought of my ex-fiancé out of my mind and try to find the cheapest outfit I can in the store, but between Caden and Lily, the pile of clothes only gets higher and more expensive. Blood drains out of my face more with each passing moment.
“What’s wrong?” Caden asks, noticing me fighting back tears of frustration. Night has fallen outside, and I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole.
“I’m exhausted. Do you mind if we head home? It’s getting late.”
“I’m hungry, Papa Caden,” Lily concedes. “I want pizza.”
“It seems I’m outnumbered here,” Caden laughs. “Fine.” He gestures at the sales associate and whips out his credit card, gesturing at the vast pile on the countertop. “Ring all this up. She’ll take it all.”
I gape at him. “What? No!” I sputter before I know what I’m saying. “You can’t pay for it all!”
He looks toward the associate, and she takes his card to run through before Caden turns back to me. “You think I’m going to let you pay? You’re the nanny, and you’re doing us a favor. Anyway, I kind of blindsided you with this. It’s my pleasure to treat you.” He gives me one of his customary winks to put me at ease.
I swallow, more tears threatening to fill my eyes, but I blink them away before Caden can see them. “I’ll return the clothes after…” I mumble dumbly, unsure of what else to say.
Caden’s face darkens, and he spins around. “Sure. Right. You do that. Come on, Lily. Let’s find you some pizza, Bug.”
He marches toward the little girl, and I wonder what I said wrong, my insides still shaking with his generosity—and with relief that I’m not on the hook for thousands more dollars of debt.
I need to tell them about my terrible credit rating and horrific debt because of Sean. They need to know how far in the red I am in case someone comes looking. This could be detrimental to Lily and the adoption process. I should have come clean when Flint mentioned secrets.
Biting on my lower lip, I vow to get them all together and come clean about it at the first opportunity when Lily is out of range. I only hope I’m not too late and that I don’t lose my job.