Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Kemp
Anna’s kiss had rattled the hell out of me.
I’d thought nothing of planting a platonic New Year’s kiss on her. It wasn’t the first quick peck we’d shared over the course of more than thirty years.
But taking it deeper had been off-limits since that night when we were twenty. Even thinking about something deeper was off-limits. I couldn’t afford to let myself go there.
Tonight, Anna was the one who’d gone back in after the friendly peck, but I’d done nothing to stop it. I’d gotten lost in it until the microwave had dinged. Thank God for that, or who knows how far into that mistake we would’ve fallen before one of us came to our senses.
I’d taken the hot soup bowl out of the microwave, so flustered I was amazed I hadn’t dropped it. Then I’d set it on the table for her and gotten the hell out of there with zero finesse.
My retreat was blatantly awkward. I could see that now that I was in the backyard with the dogs. And yet I wasn’t about to go back in there and smooth it over. I needed space. Needed my heart rate to come back down to normal.
“Good boy,” I said to Baxter as he dropped the tennis ball at my feet. I picked it up and tossed it toward the back fence again, and he sprinted away.
Mac was off in the corner looking for a place to relieve himself. The air was cold, but it felt good. Like a much-needed reset. A reality check.
Anna and I could not lock lips.
Now that we were roommates, I’d have to work extra hard to remember boundaries. It didn’t bode well that we’d leaped over a big one on the very first night.
I knew she was beyond exhausted and that her stress level was up there from packing and moving so quickly and having a crisis pop up at the inn. My stress had been off the charts for the past two weeks plus. Our guard was down and obviously our judgment was too.
Regardless, I couldn’t let that happen again. Hugs were okay, but kissing, even platonic, had to be a hard no. It was against the rules, period.
Baxter was doing laps around the yard, tennis ball in his mouth. When Mac joined him, he dropped the ball, and the two of them ran off their energy and excitement at having their human in the yard with them. I watched them, but my mind drifted back to the way Anna’s lips had felt on mine.
Heaven. Pure, unfiltered heaven.
She’d been tentative but determined, catching me totally off guard. I hadn’t been able to do anything except slip under her spell and take what she offered.
Mac careened toward me and rubbed against my legs with affection, his tail going ninety miles an hour.
I bent down and rubbed his neck the way he liked, acknowledging he’d dragged my thoughts out of forbidden territory.
Because thinking about Anna’s kiss would only bring trouble. It’d only make me want her more.
Baxter joined us, and loving my dogs turned into a full contact sport. I tried to force my mind away from my childhood-friend-turned-roommate. We rough-housed Lab-style for a few minutes. Then the three of us headed toward the back door.
As I was about to go inside, the dogs a bundle of energy at my feet, a new thought popped into my head. Anna had initiated that kiss. Did that mean she did have feelings that went deeper than friendship?
I shook my head as if that would make the thought go away. Because that was wishful thinking and an idea I couldn’t afford to entertain.
Hoping like hell I’d waited long enough for Anna to finish eating and head to bed, I opened the door and followed Mac and Baxter inside.
Anna
Sometimes a girl did something so dumb that even the most delicious comfort foods couldn’t help the mortification.
After Kemp had run away from the kitchen and taken refuge outside in the cold, I’d carried my soup and sandwich to my bedroom and closed the door.
I sat in the path he’d made on the floor, my back against the bed, legs crossed because there wasn’t room to stretch them out, and shoveled soup in as if it could drown my embarrassment and erase my mistake.
I considered finding a different place to live, because how was I ever going to face him?
Seriously, less than one hour of officially living in his home, and I did that?
I couldn’t even bring myself to replay those mortifying moments in my mind.
Blocking them out was the only way I’d be able to look him in the eye again.
The back door closed, and I heard the dogs barrel inside, likely with Kemp. Hopefully they’d all head to bed soon.
I couldn’t finish the soup and only ate a few bites of the sandwich.
My gut burned with shame, making food unappetizing.
Though I’d thought about unpacking a couple of boxes tonight, I no longer had the energy to even cut one open and peek inside.
Besides, maybe Kemp would ask me to leave.
I wouldn’t blame him if he wasn’t comfortable having me here.
I took out my crochet bag instead and busied myself with the baby sweater I was making for Rowan’s daughter, Lila. Crocheting usually calmed me down, but it wasn’t working tonight.
Once the house went quiet, I pulled my tired, heavy body up off the floor, grabbed my dishes, and tiptoed out of my room to put them in the dishwasher.
As soon as I reached the end of the hall, I realized the dim light in the living room I’d thought was moonlight was actually the TV.
A dog collar jingled, and Baxter trotted up to me where’d I’d frozen, steps from the kitchen.
My heart raced, my hands were full, and I knew running back to my room and slamming the door wasn’t an option.
I veered left into the kitchen with Baxter following me.
I could sense Kemp’s presence on the couch in the other room.
Without turning on the light, I focused on disposing of the leftovers, rinsing the dishes, and adding them to the dishwasher as quietly as possible, thinking maybe he’d fallen asleep on the sofa. Hoping he had.
When I straightened, I knew instantly he’d entered the kitchen. I squeezed my eyes closed, my back to him.
“Hey,” he said quietly.
My eyes suddenly burned with unshed tears, and I couldn’t get myself to say anything or turn around.
“Anna?”
Swallowing around the emotions, I nodded in response. Gathered the guts to turn around and try to act like everything was fine. Thank goodness he hadn’t turned the light on.
I finally turned but didn’t look at him. “I thought you’d gone to bed,” I managed.
“I wanted to spend more time with the dogs while I waited for Oliver to wake up. They don’t understand what the hell’s happened to their world or why they hardly ever see me anymore.”
He didn’t let the dogs into Oliver’s room yet, and he’d never allowed them to sleep in his room, saying they’d take over his king-size bed with no hesitation. They had large, comfy beds in the living room, but I’d bet they’d squeezed onto the sofa with him.
Baxter went to his water dish and slurped noisily. Mac wound around Kemp’s legs, his tail thumping against anything that got in the way.
“Kemp, I’m so sorry I did that,” I said in a rush.
“I don’t know what came over me, other than I’m so, so grateful for everything you did for me tonight.
If you hadn’t, I’d still be at my apartment lugging boxes down three flights of stairs for another few hours…
” I stopped and shook my head. Sucked in a shaky breath, knowing none of that excused anything.
“I’m sorry.” My throat closed on the words as tears poured over the rims of my eyes and cascaded down my cheeks to add to my humiliation.
“Hell, Anna, it’s okay. Can I hug you?”
I let out an awkward, gurgly gasp. “Are you sure you want to?” I asked in a squeaky voice.
“I want you to be okay,” he said, pulling me against his chest. “Hugs are allowed. They’ll always be allowed.”
What he left unspoken but implied was that kisses were not.
I swallowed hard, unable to resist burying my face in his shirt. It helped to not look at him, not let him see me as—how much more embarrassing could one night get?—I started full-on crying. I couldn’t stop, couldn’t control the quiet sobs.
“Hey,” he said in a low, soothing voice that was so familiar from the countless other times he’d comforted me. When my sister died. When my brother struggled. When my parents split. It had never been because I’d done something to endanger our friendship though.
The one time in the past that I’d been dumb enough to act on my feelings for him, I’d handled it better.
As in, we’d completely buried it. There were several differences between then and now though.
One, it’d been the first time I’d ever hinted that I might be attracted to him.
Two, we’d been a lot younger. Three, I hadn’t been living with him.
You’d think I would learn.
“It’s okay, Anna Bobana,” he said, tightening his arms around me in one of his bear hugs, his chin resting on my head, voice rumbling through me. “What did you think I was going to do while you tried to fix things at the inn? Sit on the couch and watch the ball drop?”
An awkward laugh bubbled out of me into his thick chest. I couldn’t let myself think too hard about his chest or those solid biceps that held me tight. I clung to humor instead. “You’ll do anything for a dose of Ryan Seacrest.”
A low laugh vibrated through him as I tried to get myself together enough to pull away. “You know me,” he quipped. “Wheel of Fortune isn’t enough.”
Kemp loved watching the game show but not because of the host. His mom had watched it faithfully, and he said it reminded him of her to this day.
I pulled away and pivoted toward the counter to get a paper towel to blow my nose, keeping my face averted, sure I looked like hell. Once there was more space between us, I said, “Do you want me to find somewhere else to live?”
“What?” he said, expelling a laugh. “Anna, don’t be dumb.”
“Too late. I’ve been maximum dumb today.”
“No, I don’t want you to find somewhere else to live.” Before he could say more, a cry came from the nursery. “That kid’s like clockwork,” Kemp said. “Duty calls.”
He hurried out of the room before Oliver got more worked up. I sagged against the cabinets, using another paper towel to swipe at my eyes.
Not only did Oliver’s crying break the tension and give me room to breathe away from Kemp’s presence, it reminded me of why I was here—for the baby’s sake. And to help Kemp, not screw things up between us.
I’d do well to keep that top of mind.