Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
West
W e dudes had a reputation for falling asleep right after sex. With my quirky Presley though, she was the one who drifted off.
Correction: not my quirky Presley.
I figured it was because the only time she ever slowed down was post orgasm.
We were at her house post orgasm, having broken in her new living room sectional, late Saturday night. Our last Saturday night.
I came down from bliss a little faster than normal, a heaviness in my chest, as Presley lay between me and the back cushion, her breaths coming slowly, evenly.
She’d put her kittens to bed in the utility room, which was their headquarters until they got bigger, so it was just me and my heavy thoughts as she dozed.
After nearly seven weeks, her home construction project was basically finished. The fixture order had been mixed up with another local order, so we were able to get the right pieces in the next day. All that was left was whatever punch list Presley came up with over the next couple of weeks.
Her shop was nearly done as well, at least regarding my part of the project. We planned to finish the fixtures, cabinet pulls, and last items tomorrow. She’d be receiving the furnishings and supplies over the next week or two, and then she’d be ready to open.
The fact was, she was done with my construction services.
It was time for us to be done with… us .
Since Nova’s injury, my daughters had talked nonstop about her—Miss Presley this and Miss Presley that. After only a few hours with her, they were getting attached, as my mom had pointed out they were apt to do.
My body tensed every time I thought about it, until I reminded myself no damage had been done. Yet.
I’d reassured them, after Sienna’s marriage question Friday night, that Miss Presley was just being friendly while I worked for her. That we’d probably see her around town from time to time, but she was just a casual acquaintance.
“Hey, you,” Presley said drowsily, her eyes opening halfway. The wall of windows facing the lake let in full moonlight tonight, allowing me to see her beautiful face. “Why don’t you stay over? We can move to my bed.”
Shit.
There was a part of me that wanted nothing more than to spend the night in her bed, wake up with her in my arms, go down on her before her eyes were open. That’s what I did…I rushed in. When my dick was involved, my brain took a back seat.
“We should probably talk,” I said in a quiet voice, as if maybe it would only suck half as much if I said what I had to say quietly.
“Yeah?” Her lips stretched into a sleepy smile, telling me she wasn’t reading me right.
I closed my eyes for a moment and inhaled the scent of her hair that brushed over me, as if I could stock up on her softness. Then I forced myself to sit up and settle near her feet. I tossed the ridiculously soft throw blanket her way in case she wanted to cover up and pulled on my boxer briefs.
Presley sat up and pulled the blanket around her. “What’s going on, West?”
“We haven’t talked about what happens now that my work here is done.”
“Right. I was thinking about that earlier,” she said.
“We need to cut ties, Presley. I’m not in the position to test-drive a real relationship.”
She frowned. “I didn’t know this was fake.”
Hell, two sentences in and it was already coming out wrong.
“It’s not fake. But it’s secret, and there’s a reason for that,” I said.
“Your kids,” she said, frowning. “I like your daughters, West. I thought we got along pretty well last Friday. Did they not?—”
“My daughters are big fans of you, which is the problem.”
“You’re breaking it off with me because your daughters like me?”
“I’ve explained why, Presley.”
“You don’t want them to get hurt in your breakups. So if they like me and you’re getting rid of me, won’t they be upset?”
“They know you as my client and friend. They haven’t moved you into the mother figure slot yet.” They’d been headed down that path though. After basically one evening with her.
Wrapping the blanket more tightly around her, Presley moved closer to me on the sectional, facing me. “What if I told you…”
I met her gaze in the moonlight, her pretty eyes reflecting earnestness and insecurity at once as I waited for her to finish her thought.
“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, West.”
Ah, fuck.
I’d known this was going to suck, but the thought of hurting Presley wrenched my gut. My lids lowered as I tried not to think too hard about her declaration or what it could mean if I were in a different situation.
“I can tell you don’t feel the same,” she said, straightening, then tilting her head back.
“I’m not in the position where I can go there, not with anyone. I explained why?—”
“You’re protecting your daughters,” she said, her voice hardened. “From a family.”
“That’s not what I’m protecting them from, and you know it. I’m protecting my family from more heartbreak. More painful transitions.”
“So you don’t feel anything for me?” she asked, her eyes glistening.
“I feel all kinds of things for you, but I can’t let myself fall in love.” I stood, because looking into her eyes was killing me. “That was never the plan.”
I wanted her, but when you were a father, your wants weren’t the priority.
“My girls are everything,” I said. “You and I… The only reason I gave in to our chemistry was because we agreed it was temporary.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships,” she said, her voice husky with emotion. “Obviously I’m naive, because I thought maybe you’d change your mind if we developed feelings.”
“I’ve learned that feelings early on don’t equal the same feelings a few months later. That’s where my girls get their hearts crushed.”
“So you’re planning to be alone until…what? Nova graduates from high school? They’re all grown up and don’t know how to handle it when a guy breaks their heart because they’ve been so protected all their lives?”
That stopped me for several seconds. “I hope they never have their hearts broken by a guy, but if they do, it’s because of their decisions, not mine. That’s different. I can’t prevent that, short of locking them in the house for twenty years, but I can prevent my relationships from hurting them.”
“By not having any relationships.” She shook her head. “What about your happiness ? What if you could be happier because of a relationship? Wouldn’t that in theory make you an even better dad?”
“I don’t have that luxury,” I told her, thinking back on April, my ex.
She’d made me happy at first, but by the end, I’d barely blinked an eye on my own behalf when she left me. It had occurred to me after the fact that she hadn’t made me very happy once the newness wore off.
I couldn’t keep speeding into relationships, crossing my fingers that none of us would get hurt. I’d proven we would, and by we, I really meant my kids. I could weather a breakup, but their tender hearts suffered when yet another someone they loved left them.
“I’d never intentionally hurt your daughters, West,” she said.
“No one ever means to hurt the kids, but sometimes they’re the ones who get hurt the worst.”
“You know,” Presley said, “part of what I love about you is that you’re such a good father.
I applaud you for considering your kids’ feelings, but did you ever think that maybe instead of protecting them from getting hurt—because you can’t protect them from everything, no matter how much you want to—that being a good father is more about helping them navigate their feelings when life throws a curveball?
Isn’t that what they’ll need to function as adults in this world? ”
“Of course they’ll need that,” I snapped, sitting forward. “I just won’t be the cause of their hurt again if I can help it. I’m all they have, Presley. They’re going to grow up knowing they can count on me to do my best by them.”
“I would think showing them how to go after their own happiness would be doing your best by them.”
I found my pants and pulled them on. No matter what she said, she wouldn’t change my mind.
Presley stood, hooking the blanket around her like a long towel. She wandered to the window and looked out, her back to me, her gorgeous locks a messy tumble down her back.
I forced myself to stop looking at her. I just needed to get out of here and close this chapter of my life. Figure out a way to forget about this woman and move forward with my girls.
Still facing away from me, she said, “I respect that you put your kids first, West, but I’m sad. I’m sad for your girls, who won’t have a chance to have another person in their life who loves them. I’m sad for you too. And I’m sad for me.”
“I’m sorry, Presley,” I said from my heart.
She pivoted to face me, and as she did, a single tear spilled over the rim of her eye and poured down her cheek. She swiped at it with the same fierceness she did everything with.
Fuck.
That one little tear gutted me.
The one person, after my three children, who I never wanted to hurt was Presley.
I ached to go to her, hold her, comfort her, but I was the motherfucker who’d caused it. I no longer had the right to do anything for her other than finish up the project she was paying me for.
I grabbed my shirt from the coffee table and dragged it over my head. Without looking at her again, because I couldn’t stand to see her upset, I said, “I’m sorry, Presley. I really am,” and I let myself out of her house.