Chapter 12
CALLIE
SEVEN YEARS AGO…
After spending all night tossing and turning over how I’d break the news and whether I’d tell all of them at the same time or start with Colt, I’d come up with a gameplan I thought would work.
It didn’t take much to get me out of the house and on my bike for the short ride to the clubhouse.
Even without the news sitting cold in my chest, I had work to do.
The positive test sat in the bottom of my trash can under a paper bag, but I could still feel the cold plastic between my fingers.
I’d washed my hands three times to try and rid them of the feeling last night. It didn’t help.
I had every reason to ride to the clubhouse and park in front of the porch. I might not have a reason to sit and stare without moving, but no one tried to bother me.
In fact, unlike most mornings, no one stood on the porch or lounged around the gravel parking area. Raised voices came from inside the house, and I checked my phone for any missed messages saying there was a meeting today.
Nothing but a blank screen greeted me, and I swung off the bike and jogged up the steps, opening the door to a room of chaos and drinking.
The smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke hit in the back of my throat, layered over whatever they’d fried last night in the kitchen.
My stomach lurched, and I pressed two fingers under my nose and breathed through my mouth.
I’d have to get used to that. Figuring out which smells bothered me and which ones I could push through became a necessary mental game.
Just another item on the list to check off.
“They asked about her by name.” Dylan stood at the front of the room, next to the fireplace where Hawk sat with a cup of coffee. Sweat glistened on Dylan’s forehead, and he wiped it away with a swatting gesture.
I’d had an excuse ready if anyone asked. I’d planned on telling them I brought back a part I borrowed. That didn’t seem necessary anymore. Every head in the room stayed locked on Dylan and Hawk.
Dylan paced back and forth in front of the fireplace.
“What did they say?” Hawk, calm and always in control, raised the cup to his lips and took a slow sip.
Did anything ever bother him?
“Are you sure it was the Hellhounds?” Ricky spoke up from the corner, his lips twisted in a sneer. “I mean, hell, man. What’s this chick got that has everyone so riled up. Why would the Hellhounds care about Callie?”
The sound of my name jerked my entire body into a stiff line.
My pulse hammered in my throat, and I pressed my back flat to the wall, keeping my face neutral.
I cut off a gasp before anyone heard and tucked myself deeper into the corner, forcing my face to remain neutral the way I’d learned to do when Wade raged and I needed him to think nothing he did bothered me.
It had taken years to build that kind of control and I used it now without hesitation.
The Hellhounds were asking about me? Like specifically?
Dylan yanked off his baseball cap and smacked it against his thigh.
“Yeah. I’m pretty fucking sure they were hounds.
They made sure I knew.” He gestured at the bruise forming on his cheek.
“They wanted to know about Callie. They practically spelled out her name for me like I was an idiot. Said they’d heard she moved between Hawk, Diesel, and Colt like water in a stream. Wanted to know if that was true.”
A few snorts sounded.
My chin lifted. I hadn’t been with any of them in months. Why was this such a big deal?
Rita, one of the Old Ladies who’d been nice to me over the last few months, cut in between a couple guys and walked my way.
She took one look at me and shook her head, stopping to stand next to me with her hands in her jean jacket pockets.
She wore a full face of makeup despite it barely being sunrise and smelled like hairspray and cigarettes.
Shit. I’d have to quit smoking.
“You know what this is, right?” Her head cocked to the side, her chin jutting toward Hawk.
Diesel stood behind and to Hawk’s right, his arms locked and body tense. He didn’t say a word, but it would be more shocking if he did.
So they wouldn’t take the threats against me seriously but lost their shit over this?
I shook my head at Rita. “Not a clue.”
Her lips pursed and she pushed air out in a wheezing sound like a leaky balloon. “Okay, listen and listen good. When men in another club can’t get good leverage on a president, they grab the woman who matters to them. Then they make that woman matter for a whole other reason.”
“Leverage.” I spat the word with all the vehemence I possessed.
“Exactly.” Rita nodded. “It’s one thing to grab the woman, but they’re not above snatching kids either. We had one get taken fifteen years ago.” Her eyes drooped, and she blinked several times before continuing. “Bad business. By the time we got him back, it was too late.”
My already tense stomach knotted further. I didn’t want to know what she meant. My mind could conjure plenty of scenarios and I did not need her input to make them worse.
“The fact they know about you means they’ve been watching. They’ll watch even closer now.” Rita’s eyes skipped to my stomach and back up again. “Pregnancy doesn’t stay a secret around here. Not for long. Too many people watching your body for signs of weakness.”
A rush of dizziness made my head spin. I tightened my grip on my arms, locking them over my stomach.
It took seconds to run a quick mental assessment of myself.
I wore a loose flannel over a tank top. Even if the tank fit tight, no one could tell a damned thing.
“This is insane. What I do is no one’s business. ”
“No honey. Everything you do is the club’s business.
That’s how it works once you’ve been in bed with one of them.
You’re not your own person anymore. You belong to them.
” Her head tipped again toward Hawk and Diesel.
“And now the others know they have an opening. Word’s out you’ve been with more than one of them.
They won’t let that rest, and they won’t stop until they drive a wedge in deep enough to fracture the club and get Hawk out. ”
Men and their stupid power plays. I was sick to death of this nonsense.
And my child would not be anyone’s pawn.
My teeth ground together so hard my jaw ached.
I kept my arms folded over my stomach. No one knew I’d taken a pregnancy test last night.
There were no changes in my body for anyone to notice.
Not yet. I might be dizzy as a drunk bat and running numbers to figure out my due date, but no one knew that.
But they’d figure it out if I stayed.
If I stayed, I’d become marked. I would never be safe. My child would never be safe.
Fuck that shit.
I’d spent my entire life terrified for myself and my mom. I would not put a kid through that. Men like Wade would not get within a mile of my baby. I pushed off from the wall. “Thanks, Rita. I have work to do.”
“You’re not going to stay and listen?” Her bleached eyebrows shot up to her hairline.
I gave her a look and snorted. “Why? They won’t listen to anything I have to say.
I’ve tried that already.” I shouldn’t say anything, especially to someone who loved gossip, but to hell with it.
Why did they deserve my loyalty when I didn’t have theirs?
I turned on my heel and walked out, looping around behind the house and entering the garage.
It took all of ten minutes to pack up my tools, grab my extra jacket from the hook, and speed across the lot to my bike.
I didn’t let myself look at the bike I’d spent three days on that sat in the corner.
It just needed a fresh coat of polish and it would be ready for Dylan.
I swallowed down the regret, tightened my grip on the bag, and kept my eyes forward.
An hour later, I’d packed everything I owned into a single duffel that I strapped onto the back of the bike alongside my tool bag.
My ribs ached when I put the bike in gear, and I palmed the swallow tattoo I’d had inked a week ago.
It was supposed to be a symbol of the new life I’d found here.
Now it was the sign of my flight away from the Vultures and into a life where my body belonged to me and no one else.
That was why I couldn’t stay. Why I couldn’t tell them.
If I stayed, the ugly attention already circling me would tighten until it strangled me. My baby would be at risk. If I told Hawk, he’d lock me down and I’d face the same end result.
If I told Colt, he’d blow up, then he’d tell Hawk.
If I told Diesel, he’d go even more silent and dangerous. And then he’d tell Hawk.
There was no scenario where me and my baby were a priority unless I made it my own.
I eyed the little apartment, then ran back inside to make sure I had thrown out the pregnancy test and anything else that mattered. Then, I wrote them a note. Nothing much and more than they deserved.
None of this was ever real.
I left the torn sheet of paper tucked beneath an empty bowl.
If anyone cared to come looking, they’d find it.
If they didn’t…well, then it was as I suspected and they didn’t care at all.
I checked my pocket to make sure the bit of cash I’d saved hadn’t fallen out, zipped the pocket, and drove away.
My stomach knotted, and my throat went dry as I approached the county line.
No one chased me. I hadn’t expected them to, but the loneliness that had been pushed aside roared in.
Tears tracked down my cheeks against my will. I couldn’t risk moving my hand off the handlebars as I zipped around curves, leaning into each one and riding the adrenaline as wind tore over my body and streamed through my hair.
My phone lit up on the stand between the handlebars. I hit the county line and kept going. As soon as I reached a straight stretch of road, I turned the phone off and never looked back.