Chapter 16
CALLIE
The ceiling was the same. I registered that before my brain fully woke up. The water stain I’d noticed the couple of nights I stayed in this room behind that locked door with the key clutched in my hand, I’d called myself all kinds of a fool.
I did the same as I rolled upright and attempted to rebraid my hair into a manageable mess.
My hands throbbed under the gauze, and after losing the strands of hair three times, I gave up.
A burning sensation raced up my arm when I rolled my shoulder.
I must have scraped it when we went through the door, or banged it up more than I realized when I hit the gravels.
I winced when I swallowed, the sting of smoke clinging to the back of my throat.
“Cody, time to get up, buddy.”
No answer. My pulse spiked as I turned my head to the second bed Diesel had brought in last night before Hawk handed me the key and promised he’d see me in the morning.
Promise or threat? I still hadn’t decided.
“Cody?” The covers had been thrown back, the bed empty, and Cody’s shoes were missing from the corner where he’d put them last night. No.
I leaped out of the bed and wrenched the door open. Unlocked. Fuck. Who had unlocked the door? Hawk had reassured me last night that I still held the only key. Motherfucking liar. I should have known better than to trust him.
My bare feet slapped on the cold hardwood as I careened down the hall.
Laughter trickled toward me. Cody’s laughter.
Relief hit so hard I staggered into the wall, pressing the heel of my hand to my sternum and waiting for my heart rate to slow. The mirror on the wall in front of me flashed my reflection at me, highlighting the dark circles under my eyes and the rat nest my hair had become.
Soot stained my neck where I’d missed it with the washrag last night, too intent on helping Cody settle in to worry about myself. Breathe. Just breathe.
Cody’s laughter came again. “You can’t really eat a whole pound of bacon for breakfast, can you?”
My stomach gurgled and twisted at the same time when Colt’s voice answered. “I can. And a whole stack of pancakes.”
“Wow.” The awe returned to Cody’s voice, and my heart tripped right down to my feet.
I smoothed my rumpled shirt and turned left toward the kitchen, following the sound of Cody’s questions and the smell of food.
Cody sat at the kitchen table with a plate of eggs, bacon, and pancakes in front of him. He picked up a bottle of hot sauce and dashed it over his eggs.
Colt gave him an appraising look but didn’t stop him.
I could interrupt and tell him that Cody had been using hot sauce since he was three.
Instead, I let Colt figure out a few things on his own.
He’d earned that right, despite me keeping Cody away from him all this time.
It had nothing to do with Colt as a man but everything to do with their unwillingness to bend or listen when it mattered most. I couldn’t trust a man who told me my fears were unfounded and tried to talk down to me like I wasn’t smart enough to take care of myself.
Cody ate his eggs in slow, methodical bites, his eyes never leaving Colt.
I pressed my lips together and stared at the white ceiling. No water stains in here, just a long stretch of pristine white that ended at a row of cabinets.
Hawk walked in through the back door, poured two cups of coffee, and handed me one.
“Do you play poker?” Cody twirled his fork through a puddle of syrup and licked his lips. He kicked his feet back and forth, his toes skimming the floor.
“Why?”
“Because you don’t have a very good poker face.” Cody commented without a shred of fear.
Colt sat back with a surprised snort. “Where’d you learn to play poker?”
“Mom taught me.” Cody shot a look toward the door, realized I stood there, and flushed.
He stood and rushed over, throwing his arms around me.
“Sorry I left the room without telling you. I was hungry, and I smelled food. Colt was in the hallway. I think he’d been there all night.
He showed me the kitchen, and I forgot to come tell you where I went. ”
Ah. So he’d been the one to unlock and open the door.
I cupped his face in my hands and held eye contact long enough to make him squirm.
“I understand you wanted to let me sleep, but you absolutely, under no circumstance, can ever do that again. I need to know where you are. At all times. I know that feels ridiculous to you, but I need you to respect what I’m asking. Okay?”
His chin quivered, and his arms tightened around me. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought we were safe here.”
Damn it. How did I tell him without giving him nightmares?
“You are safe here. No one will ever bother you here. I swear it.” Colt stood and made an X over his heart. “I swear on my life, Cody.” His eyes met mine over Cody’s head. “You’re both safe here.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted it so badly my entire body vibrated with a deep, resonating hum. But I didn’t dare give in to the temptation of trusting them with Cody’s life…with my life.
I blinked and tore my gaze away from Colt, dropping it to Cody. “Finish your breakfast.”
He nodded and skipped back to his seat. “Will you play poker with me?” He shot the question at Colt. “Mom always knows when I’m bluffing. She says she knows when anyone is bluffing. It’s a life skill, and I want to learn.”
I hated how natural it felt with all of us in the kitchen. Diesel hadn’t made an appearance yet, but he would. The sight of Colt and Cody laughing together soured the coffee in my stomach, and I dumped the last of it down the sink.
“Take a walk with me?” Hawk phrased it like a question, but he wasn’t the kind of man who asked for anything.
I should deny him just for the sake of it, but I had too much to talk to him about. I nodded once. “Colt?”
“I got him.” His hand rested on the back of Cody’s chair, their matching blond heads bent toward each other. “We’ll be right here when you come back.”
“But I want to see the shop.” Cody wiggled in his seat. “Can Colt show me around?”
Ugh. “Yes, but stay with him at all times.” I’d rather keep him with me, but the things Hawk and I needed to talk about were not suitable for him either.
I hugged Cody and followed Hawk onto the porch, then down the steps and toward the east edge of the property, away from the front lot full of bikes. Trees swayed overhead, the early morning sunshine created a dappled effect on the leaves.
Diesel stood on the back porch, arms extended over his head as he drilled a camera mount into the corner. He caught me looking but didn’t explain or even stop as Hawk and I walked past.
“There are some changes to the rules since you were here.” Hawk bent and plucked a blade of grass from the fenceline that now sported a shiny gate at the far end where the backroad met the blacktop that wound through town.
“Oh?” I resisted the urge to cross my arms and go on the defensive. I’d lived that way for so long it came naturally, and while I needed to maintain my guard, it wouldn’t help if I pushed Hawk too far and he clammed up.
“You’re not here as the wrench this time. You’re here under our protection. I can give you access to the shop for personal reasons, but you can’t touch another member’s bike.”
Made sense.
Hawk stared straight ahead. That tiny little muscle in his jaw jumped a couple times, and he twirled the blade of grass in his thumb and forefinger. I remembered what those hands felt like on my body and my skin heated.
If Hawk noticed, he did a damned good job ignoring it. “And you’re allowed to invite anyone you want into your bed.”
I stopped in my tracks. “What the fuck, Hawk. Why would you bring that up? And why is it allowed now?” The fact I needed the answer more than my next breath said something about me I wasn’t ready to face.
Hawk turned toward me. “The rule existed because the club believed that shared attachments weakened command. They thought one woman tied to multiple senior members fractured loyalty and created leverage for our enemies to exploit. It wasn’t about you.
It was about control, and I enforced it because I didn’t want to lose men.
They wouldn’t follow a compromised leader. ”
“So it was about me.” I crossed my arms, needing the barrier between us to keep my sanity. “What changed?”
“The threats changed. The whole damned county changed.” He took a deep breath that forced his chest out, filling the tight t-shirt.
“I changed. I abolished the rule after you left and dealt with the fallout. Several men walked. One tried to challenge me.” The smirk and the fact he stood in front of me said he’d won that challenge.
“I won’t pretend the cost was light. But the rule wasn’t right either.
I’m happier with a smaller, sharper, and more intentional crew, especially when it means I don’t have to keep hurting you. ”
“You didn’t hurt me.” I lobbed the words with all the force I could muster.
“I’m sure I didn’t. But just to be clear.” He took a step closer. “Consent is law. Women are not leverage. Kids are untouchable. Anyone who cannot live with those terms finds somewhere else.”
I turned that over in my head. “That doesn’t fix what happened.”
“No.” He didn’t flinch away from the heat I fired his way.
It took a few seconds to breathe through the tightness in my chest, and when I did, I realized that everything I’d built up led to this conversation. I’d expected to be dismissed again, my worries ignored.
Diesel moved in my peripheral vision, finishing up the camera and moving to the windows. He checked each one, paying closer attention to the single window at mine and Cody’s room.
“The Hellhounds are back.” Hawk dropped the blade of grass he’d been twirling and went still.
“The fire wasn’t random and neither was the shot.
Someone believes you have something worth taking.
They knew your routine, and I can’t help but believe the tip Colt received that said you’d been spotted was meant to see if we’d come after you. ”
I’d wondered what brought them careening into the lot just in the nick of time. No such thing as coincidences when it all lined up this perfectly.
I turned away from Hawk and moved toward the house, taking my time as I worked through what our future might look like if I chose to stay here. It could be this. It could be walks with Hawk and midnight kisses under the stars with Colt.
It would also mean stepping back into a life where people considered me a liability and tried to take away my choices. Hawk promised consent was law, but that kind of phrase usually only applied to the bedroom.
Diesel finished with the windows and moved on to the back door. He opened a new lock kit and tossed the keys toward Hawk, then gave me a slow look that burned every inch of skin it touched. “I have a new kit for your room if you want it. You can even watch me open and install it.”
That was what I’d needed, what I’d really been after all those years ago. This kind of honesty and consent, this option to have a say in my life.
“I need to check on Cody.” I almost reached toward Diesel as I climbed the steps. My fingers twitched as I curled them, the heady feeling of closure attempting to compensate for the trauma last night resurrected. “Cody needs to be in school next week. He can’t miss while we deal with all this.”
“We need to talk strategy for getting him there and back. I don’t want you out on the open road alone.” Hawk didn’t hesitate or back down.
I fisted my hands, curling my blunted nails into my palms so the pain sharpened and honed my anger. “I don’t need you running my life.”
“Not trying to. Trying to keep you both safe.”
Right. All the resentment that had festered over the years slid into something else.
Something warmer and close enough to thankful that I tightened my hands even more.
“Because you all did such a great job last time.” I hated the words before they ever left my mouth, but they were necessary to help me maintain my distance.
“I never agreed to stay here. There are things I need to do. Cody and I will be fine at home.”
Hawk barely even blinked. “No. You’re not going anywhere.
” He bent toward me until we stood nose to nose.
“You can hate me if that makes you feel better. But at least you’ll be alive.
” His phone rang before I came up with an appropriate response.
He answered with a sharpness he’d never once showed with me.
A low, masculine voice cut through the phone, the words too low for me to understand.
Hawk straightened by degrees, his gaze locked so tight on mine I lost the ability to breathe. He ended the call a minute later and slid the phone into his pocket. “One of the deputies found something at your shop. It’s addressed to you.”