Chapter 18
COLT
I walked into the house and closed the door behind me like nothing happened.
Cody looked up from the couch. “Where’d you go?”
“Helping Diesel with something.” I dropped onto the couch beside him and picked up the toy car he’d abandoned on the armrest. The beat up red car wobbled when I rolled it across the worn couch.
“What’s this one?” I’d taught him all our names and he’d shown me the car collection he’d managed to bring with him from the garage thanks to the fact he kept a couple toy cars in his pockets at all times.
“Dodge Charger.” He took the car with a snatch and grab that would’ve given Callie a fit and showed he didn’t like to share. “The wheel’s broken.”
“I can fix it.” I held out my hand, offering the chance to trust me. He’d spent all day with me, and I’d learned more about him in a day than I had about Callie in the months we’d been together. He remained tight-lipped about his mom but nothing about him seemed to be off limits.
And he’d mastered Callie’s disbelieving look. “Mom already tried.”
“Maybe I’m better than your mom at fixing wheels.”
“No one is better than Mom.” Cody crossed his arms and tucked his body into the corner of the couch.
Ouch. Okay. So definitely don’t try to one up Callie. “I didn’t mean it like that. Your mom is incredible. I’ve never seen anyone as capable as her. I just thought maybe I have a tool she doesn’t.” I pulled a tiny screwdriver from my pocket and held it out. “Can I at least look at it?”
He eyed me with a slick side eye, then turned his full attention to me. Hell. I’d faced judges who didn’t make me squirm as much as this kid.
Cody’s gaze skipped over my face, then to the car in his hand. He held it out. “I get to watch the whole time.”
“No doubt. This must be an important car.” I took the car and turned it over, focusing on the wheel and not the image of the tracker I’d had in my palm twenty minutes ago.
Someone had put their hands on Callie’s car.
They’d stood close enough to crouch down and place that underneath.
It could have happened anytime. While she worked.
Or at the grocery store. I popped the wheel off and reset the axle pin.
Don’t think about that. Think about Cody.
About keeping him safe. I put the wheel back on and held it out to my son. “Try it now.”
He rolled it across the couch cushion. The wheel held and it no longer wobbled. His eyes dropped, along with his shoulders. “You did it.”
“Only because your mom has been working on it so many times already. I never would have figured it out otherwise. That’s how teams work, right? Like Batman and Robin.”
“And Alfred.” The quiver in his chin settled, and he managed a smile that didn’t shake. “Diesel reminds me of Alfred. He’s all grumpy.”
I couldn’t help it. A laugh shot out sharp and fast.
“Don’t tell him I said that.” Cody’s eyes widened.
“Diesel would take it as a compliment. Trust me.” No one compared Diesel to anyone of note, and especially not a man as good as Alfred. Careful and protective might as well be stamped across his chest.
Cody turned and ran the car back and forth over the back of the couch while making engine noises.
What the hell was I supposed to do about this?
I had a son. I’d had a son for six years and hadn’t known he existed.
I almost hadn’t followed the tip about Callie.
What might have happened if we didn’t show up?
Better question. What kind of hell had we brought down on their heads because we showed up?
A red hot rage boiled in my chest and turned my heart into a molten lava pool that ached with every beat. How had Callie left and never told me about Cody? How had I not found her before now?
She’d spent all that time with our son. My son. I pressed my thumb into the edge of the couch and held it there.
“Can you do the voice?” Cody held up a second car. “The one from before.”
“The one you told me was shit?” I arched a brow as I took the car.
A flush crawled up his neck. “I’m not supposed to say that. Mom said cussing is only for really bad situations, and even though I hear her say words like that, I’m not supposed to repeat them.”
“She’s right. Sometimes they make us feel better, but maybe wait a few years before you add them to your daily vocabulary.
” I had no right to lecture him. I couldn’t remember a single day in my life when I hadn’t uttered at least a dozen cuss words.
But if Callie had set a precedent, I wasn’t about to cross it with my own opinion.
“They make me feel tough.” Cody refused to look at me.
I kept moving my car toward his. My other hand spasmed in my lap.
Did I pat his back? Did I offer to hug him?
The fact I didn’t know how to comfort my own son twisted the knife in my gut.
“I get that. But you don’t have to say anything to be tough.
Look at Diesel. How many words have you heard him say today? ”
Cody considered this. “Two.”
“And would you say Diesel is tough?”
His nod caused his hair to flop over his forehead. I pushed it back the same way I’d seen Callie do, then patted his back. “You’re a tough kid. Your mom is proud of you. I’m proud of you, if that matters to you at all.”
A tiny smile flashed, and he ducked his head toward me. “Alfred’s here to call us to dinner.”
“Food’s done.” Diesel spoke from behind me. He hadn’t made a sound as he entered, and the only reason I heard him leave was because I turned toward the kitchen.
Cody giggled and pocketed both cars. “I hope it’s burgers and fries. Or spaghetti. What’s your favorite food?”
“Steak.” I answered without hesitation.
Cody’s lips puckered. “I’d rather have ice cream.”
Dinner passed in a flurry of questions from Cody and responses from whoever thought they had the right answer first.
“I want Colt.” Cody stood after finishing his food.
“What?” I’d lost the thread of the conversation somewhere around Cody’s question about whether squirrels remembered where they hid all their nuts.
“Bed.” Callie’s head tipped to the side in a kind of challenge. “Cody needs to go to bed.”
Oh. I hadn’t realized putting kids to bed was a production. In my head, a kid got tired, they were told to go to bed, and they did. I should’ve known better, especially with my own kid.
I stood and followed Cody to the door. “Right then. Let’s get you to bed.”
Cody raced down the hall and into the room, kicking off his shoes as he went and grabbing a pile of pajamas off the end of the bed. “You can do the check while I change.”
“What check?”
A bone-weary sigh worked up through Cody’s body and left his lips flapping. “Can you explain, Mom?”
Callie joined us in the room. “Monsters.” She pointed at the bed, then the closet and window. “You have to check for monsters, then give the all clear.”
Monsters. Right. I was never going to get this right but damn if I’d give up. I knelt and checked under the bed. “Nothing but a dirty sock.”
“You have to say clear.” Callie remained in the doorway, her shoulder propped on the frame and a hint of a smile on her lips. “I’m going to clean the kitchen since Diesel cooked.” She kissed Cody on the forehead when he bounded out of the bathroom.
Cody hugged her tight then flew to the bed and launched himself into the middle, grabbing the covers and yanking them up to his chin. “Closet, Colt.” He pointed, covers over his mouth and nose.
I opened the closet door and stuck my head into the empty space. My stomach turned over at the reminder they had nothing here. The clothes Cody wore came from an early morning ride to the store. Callie had little more than the clothes on her back. “Clear.”
“Louder.” Cody nestled into the bed. “And check the window.”
I did as he requested, checking everything until he felt safe in his space. “That it?”
Cody settled against the pillow. “Mom usually reads to me, but I don’t have any books here.”
“What are your favorites?” I’d have them here tomorrow night. I might be shit at a lot of things, but I could make sure my kid had clothes and his favorite toys and books.
He rattled off a list and I typed them into my phone.
“Colt?”
“Yeah?”
Eyes closed, Colt turned on his side and curled into a ball. “Thanks for fixing my car.”
“You’re welcome.” I backed out of the room. “Light on or off?”
“Off.” He yawned and I eased the door closed.
I didn’t know my son’s nighttime routine because Callie kept him from me. That white-hot twisting feeling gained momentum. She had to correct me about the monsters. I could’ve been offended but the I focused on the other feeling, the one that demanded answers.
The kitchen was quiet when I entered. Someone had left the coffee on, and Callie poured a cup and stood at the counter with both hands wrapped around the mug. Her back was to me, but I didn’t exactly try to sneak into the room.
I pulled out a chair and sat. “I need you to tell me why you left. Now.”
She turned slowly, setting the mug on the counter. “You sure?”
“You kept my son from me.” The hot feeling in my chest burned with enough force that I tried to rub it away. “I deserve an answer.”
“Fine.” She dragged out a second chair and sat with her hands in her lap. “I found out I was pregnant the same day I heard about the Hellhounds asking for me. Rita explained what that meant, that my life was never going to be my own.”
My teeth ached from clenching my jaw, but I didn’t interrupt.
“I realized I couldn’t tell Hawk because he’d lock me down. I couldn’t tell you because you’d blow up, then you’d tell Hawk on your way out of town.”
“You don’t know that.” I tried to keep my tone even, but it all went to shit as I surged to my feet.
Callie rose too, putting us toe to toe. “Really? What don’t I know? Because from where I’m standing, Hawk is still trying to lock me down.”
“I’m. Here.” I drilled my finger into the table with each word. “You had no right to take my son and assume that I would abandon him. That I’d abandon you.”
“Then tell me why every time I tried to talk to any of you about the threats, you all told me to calm down? You patted me on the head and told me to let you all worry about it. Like I was already no longer in control of my life. You all discussed me like I was a problem, a liability you had to handle. I was never a part of your life. Running was the only move I had, the only choice you gave me. Because it was mine.” She poked me in the chest with the last word.
I captured her hand in both of mine. Guilt settled hard and cold in my gut, chilling the rage as the truth wrapped around my heart and squeezed.
I’d failed her. “You’re right, I didn’t listen.
I’m sorry that I brushed off your concerns.
We did believe you, we were trying to take care of everything without scaring you. ”
“Don’t ever do that again. Don’t ever make me feel unheard while you work behind my back. It’s my life, and I will be a part of every decision, or I will be out that door with Cody so fast you won’t even see it happen.”
The threat lingered between us. The heat of her promise hit me square in the chest. She meant every word, and I couldn’t even blame her. “I won’t.” I matched her promise for promise.
Her gaze shot to my lips, then up again. She still had her finger in my chest, and my hands tightened around hers. She’d taken off the gauze at some point, and the soft flesh had to ache, but she never made a sound. I released her hand but didn’t move away. “What do you need from me?”
Hawk and Diesel moved in from my left, entering from the side door that led outside.
Tension thickened the air. Callie looked from me to Diesel and Hawk and back. Her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip, and she didn’t have to say a word for me to understand she remembered our time together as we created a small circle around her.
“This doesn’t mean anything.” Her pupils dilated when Hawk pinned her with a look.
Diesel kept to the side, his hands loose. Enough heat radiated off him to cause concern.
Callie reached for me, her hands landing on my hips as she rose onto her tip toes. “It doesn’t mean anything.” She kissed me hot and hard, stealing my breath with the force of it.
Hawk closed the door and locked it. Diesel did the same with the main door leading into the house, locking the four of us together.
“You remember how this works?” There are too many clothes between us and too many years for me to willingly waste another second. Tugging the hem of her shirt, I sweep it up over her head and drop it onto the table.
Her nod was enough to bring my hands to her jeans, then to her boots, working all of them off until she stood bare before us.
More. I had to have all of her. I eased her onto the nearest chair and knelt in front of her.
“Just like before.” I barely managed to say that much before I lowered my head and buried my mouth between her legs.
Even knowing it was coming, her scent and taste pushed me right over the fucking edge.
And when she moaned, her body arching for more, I gave her everything.
I lapped at her clit, then sucked it hard enough to make Callie buck onto my face.
Then I did it again because there was no greater feeling in the world than her legs around my head and her pleasure on my tongue.
Hawk and Diesel moved in from either side.
Diesel took her nipple into his mouth and Hawk bent to kiss Callie, swallowing her cries until they turned to whimpers.
I needed to hear that every single day for the rest of my life.
Didn’t matter who caused it, as long as she was willing.
I guided her legs further apart and swept my tongue up and down in a hard caress while sliding a finger inside her.
She might have murmured my name, but with Hawk locked on her lips, I couldn’t be sure.
When her breathing went ragged and she clenched around my finger, Hawk broke the kiss and held a hand against her cheek.
Her eyelashes swept down and back up and she leaned into Hawk’s hand as she came apart on my mouth. Fuck she was hot as hell.