CHAPTER 29 #2
“Both,” she answered because Carrie’s hand was rubbing over her abdomen, making it shiver and shake. “Um… We should stop, right? I feel like we should stop.”
“Because you think I want to?” Carrie asked.
“Because I want to,” she said.
Carrie’s hand stopped moving instantly, and she looked worried, like she’d done something that Gage hadn’t wanted, which was the furthest thing from the truth.
“Not because I don’t like it,” she added. “Because if we do this, I don’t want you to be almost drunk, Carrie.”
“Oh.”
“So, not tonight, but that doesn’t mean we can’t.”
“You’re really not bothered by the fact that I’ve never done it before?”
“No, but I also don’t want you to regret or, in your case, not remember it later since you seem to have a pretty crappy memory.”
Carrie laughed and said, “Not normally. Just on alcohol and nerves.”
Hearing her say that, Gage realized then that it had been a very long time since she’d been nervous around a woman, and she was definitely nervous around Carrie, which was both interesting and kind of nice.
“What about kids?” she asked.
“Huh?”
“You asked me about pets.”
“Oh. Um… No,” Carrie replied. “I don’t want them. I never really have, but when I was sleeping with men, that was complicated because I–” She stopped. “You probably don’t want to hear about that, huh?”
“I’ll hear about anything you want to tell me.”
“Another time,” Carrie suggested before she patted her stomach and removed her hand.
“Hey, I liked that there.”
“Another time,” Carrie repeated and smiled at her. “You? Kids?”
Gage shook her head and said, “Not for me. I babysat my niece when I still lived there, and I had to listen to my sister fight with her husband over who was doing what for the baby that day because the other one had done it the day before, and they were so tired. I know it’s supposed to be this whole life-affirming thing or whatever, but I know it’s not for me. ”
“Me neither.”
“Really?” Gage asked.
“Not my thing. I’d rather have, like, three cats or something, but that’s way in the future.”
“Why way in the future?”
“Because I want to travel.”
“Travel? Where?”
“Anywhere. Everywhere. I’ve got a list on my phone. I can show you tomorrow when we can check them, if you want. It’s pretty much the whole planet. I want to backpack and bring my art stuff; my iPad, but also my sketchpad and pencils and just fill it up with sketches of what I see.”
Gage smiled at her and said, “That sounds really nice, but solo trips could be dangerous in some places, especially for women. Are–”
“I’m hoping I won’t have to go by myself. My friend Bradley has a girlfriend, and we’ve all talked about going, but I don’t want to be a third wheel to them. So, I might go by myself instead.”
“The other option is to have someone of your own to go with you.”
“I know. That’s the hope.”
“When is this trip of yours?”
“Nothing’s scheduled. I don’t even know how I’d pay for it. Plus, I’d want to be with someone for a while before we trek across the world. I’d have to know that we would be good at traveling together.” Carrie yawned.
Gage thought it was really cute, so she smiled again and felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, except she wasn’t a schoolgirl at all, and this wasn’t a crush.
“How about we talk about that tomorrow night?”
“What?”
“All the travel stuff.”
“You want to talk about a trip that I’m not taking for a long time because I have no money to do it?”
“Why not? We can make it part of our little note card ritual or something. We’ll have a whole travel category to find out if we’d be good travel companions.”
“I’d like that,” Carrie said.
“I’ll tell Nia that we want another night together in the morning. When she asks you if it’s okay, though, please say yes. If you say no, she’s going to kick me out of this thing.”
“I’ll say yes, but she won’t. Just relax tomorrow, okay?”
“Relax?”
“Yeah. Only wear this thing if you actually want to and not because you want to turn someone on with it, for one.”
“What if the someone I want to turn on is you?”
“You don’t need that to turn me on. Trust me.”
“Really?” she asked.
Carrie nodded and said, “You didn’t notice me staring at you all day today? And a little yesterday and the day before, too.”
“I’ve been a bit preoccupied with my own shit, but I’ll be paying attention now, I promise.” Gage sat up and added, “I should go.”
“Why?”
“Because you just yawned, and I’m exhausted as well. I can’t believe we’ve basically stayed up all night talking.”
“I take it, you don’t do that often with women?”
“No, not really.” Gage chuckled and stood up. “Hey, can…” She walked around the bed and held out her hand for Carrie to take. “Can I maybe kiss you goodnight before I go?”
“You want to kiss me?”
“I think that should be pretty obvious by now,” Gage teased and took both of Carrie’s hands in her own. “And I’ll be thinking about this kiss when I’m back in my room, if you catch my meaning.”
“I do,” Carrie said. “But what if it’s a bad kiss?”
“It won’t be. Come here,” she requested and let go of one of Carrie’s hands to cup her cheek and move somewhat trembling lips to her own.
Carrie’s kiss was tentative at first, and Gage realized that she hadn’t even asked if this would be Carrie’s first kiss with a woman, but it was too late to ask that now.
It didn’t take long for Carrie’s lips to part, though, and Gage took that as her chance to deepen the kiss, letting her tongue meet Carrie’s.
She moaned then, and while she wasn’t embarrassed by it, she had never moaned just from kissing a woman before.
Both of her hands were in Carrie’s hair now, and Carrie’s were around her back, rubbing it up and down.
Before Gage knew it, she had Carrie pressed to the door, and her lips went to her neck, nipping and sucking.
It all just felt so good. Then, her eyes went wide, and she pulled back, removing herself from Carrie’s body completely.
“Oh, my God. I am so sorry.”
“What? Why?” Carrie asked, breathing hard.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen. I–”
“Hey, I liked it. I wanted that, Gage.” Carrie pulled her back to her by the hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I had my hand in your shirt.”
“Did I push it away or tell you to stop?”
“No, but I don’t want you to–”
Carrie cut her off with a quick kiss.
“How about we say that good night now, and we talk about travel and other stuff tomorrow? Maybe we’ll do more of what we just did, too. I really, really liked it.”
“I didn’t make you uncomfortable?”
“No,” Carrie said and pulled her in tighter. “I can feel you down there against me, you know?”
“I should really take this damn thing off.”
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
“Some women don’t like it. I’m not a guy. They want a woman. A butch one, but a woman, and it’s not something they like.”
“Well, I don’t know what I’ll like for sure, but I have a few ideas. This doesn’t bother me at all, okay? If we get there, and you want to maybe put on a functional one, I think I’d be interested in that.”
“Oh, yeah?” Gage lifted an eyebrow. Then, she moved her lips to Carrie’s neck again, kissed her there once, dragged her lips to Carrie’s ear, and whispered, “I’ll happily be your guinea pig. Anything you want – yours.”
When she pulled back, Carrie’s expression was a little shocked, so she kissed her open lips that still hadn’t closed from that shock and laughed a little.
“I think I’ll leave you with that. Sleep well, Carrie. I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast.”
“Yeah, that,” Carrie replied.
Once she was back in her room, Gage flopped down onto the bed and wondered if Nia had been right all along. Participating might just be the way to go.