Chapter 29 Jax
Creed and Avi said their goodbyes to all the party guests as everyone made their way out.
Faye and I spent the rest of the night trying to keep our composure with subtle glances at one another.
I still smelt her arousal on me, it was a scent I’d proudly wear every day.
I wanted her badly, but I didn’t want the first time in five years to be in my pop’s barn.
We weren’t kids anymore, and I needed Faye to know how I’d felt.
And the only way I knew how to express how I felt was touch.
I wasn’t good with words, never had been.
Faye and I always had intense sexual chemistry.
Our sex was on a spiritual plain no other woman and I could reach.
I wanted to see if the passion was still there.
And gods damn was it. Her pussy wept for me, and her soul begged for me.
But I wanted her to be reassured it was more for me.
The taunting games were fun, but I owned her heart.
A greedy man was what I was when it came to Faye.
My little ljos. My little light glowed for me tonight so extravagantly, sparking its ignition.
She wanted to be claimed, fucked, loved, and devoured in all her sinful flesh.
I caught the way she lost herself in the flame when she thought nobody was paying attention.
My sweet dark angel, I am always paying attention.
She looked like she was breaking. The same way she looked that night on the farm six years ago.
The same look that still haunted my dreams.
Six years ago-
We hadn’t told anyone about our little bean.
Faye was so early, and we agreed we would do it together when she started showing.
Pop had begun pressuring me about the family legacy and all that bullshit—as the oldest Grimwood son, it’s my duty to carry on the family’s bloodline and uphold our position.
Pop wasn’t understanding why I was refusing to leave Grimstone and return to our homeland of Norway for my initiation.
A sprout was growing in the girl’s womb that I loved, and it was mine, my little bean sprouting into life, in my girl’s belly.
I was scared, yet excited out of my mind.
We were already planning our lives. I’d work on the farm until my knees gave out.
Imagining Faye carrying the bean in her arms warmed the crest around my heart.
The initiation required one year in Norway with our uncle, Loki, and my grandfather, Ragnar.
It was something that was never asked, but expected of me since before I stepped foot on this earth.
Carrying a Grimwood’s child was more than complex.
There were things I needed to explain to her, things I didn’t know how to at the moment, my words always failed me.
I began cleaning out the barn when I spotted Faye’s box Chevy single cab pulling up at a high speed, which was odd because it was Thanksgiving and it was six p.m. It was one of her busiest days at work due to the holiday.
All the lonely geezers were looking for a connection and a pretty face.
What the hell? Faye stopped the car abruptly, hopping out and running to me with her face a puffy mess of tears.
“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked her, lost and confused in her devastated expression.
“I lost Bean. I’m sorry, Jax. I don’t know what I did wrong.
” Faye clung to me, staining my shirt with her tears.
My heart sank as I tried to digest her words.
I felt a dense cave in my chest like never before.
We stood there and cried, holding each other.
It was all I could think to do. I knew I wasn’t ready, but I would have become ready for her, for our bean.
This hurt. But I had to be strong for Faye.
All my dreams and plans… gone, my unborn child…
gone. I didn’t understand… Why us? Faye crumbled in my arms, wanting nothing more than to curse the gods.
“Listen to me, this isn’t your fault, baby girl. You did nothing wrong.” I kissed her forehead, trying to reassure her.
“Maybe I was working too hard. Maybe I wasn’t eating right.
” Faye paced back and forth, an entire mess.
My poor girl was breaking right before my eyes, caving inside herself.
She was blaming herself. The loss was too heavy.
So she did the only thing she knew how. She looked out the porch into the rain.
Like she was somewhere else, anywhere but here.
My girl was here, but she wasn’t. My Faye broke, and there I was breaking with her.
Holding her tight, hoping it would keep my pieces together, too. The pain was too much to process.
Our bean was gone. My soul shattered into a thousand sharp pieces, cutting me deep. I stood there feeling like I was bleeding out on this desert sand.