Chapter 12
Mama V. insists on driving me to SLU and here we are pulling up the long tree lined driveway to the manor that will be my home away from my not home for the next four years. The giant white oak trees conceal the manor from view as we drive along the sandstone cobblestones which make the tires play an annoying sounding rhythm.
I glance out the window as Mama V. drives and marvel at the dense forest with its gnarled branches and thicket of underbrush on either side of the driveway beyond the clean lines of the white oaks. Feeling the car turn slightly, I turn my gaze to the front windshield to be greeted by a large circular drive with an impressive stone mansion behind it.
“Here we are.” She rounds the circular drive with the lush green grass in the middle of it and parks the car adjacent to the steps leading up to the massive wooden door.
I haven’t spoken much on the drive, and I know I’m worrying Mama V. but I can’t form the words she wants to hear, so it’s better I stay silent.
“Sweetheart, please look at me,” she says, grabbing my hand in hers. “This is for the best, please believe me when I say we only want what’s best for you. You have your whole lifetime to find a connection to your roots.” She squeezes my hand.
I pull my sleeves down over my wrists to hide the bruising and red marks from the Rosary beads, the pain still gnaws at my insides. Turning to look at her, I notice the dark circles under her eyes and the worry lines between her perfectly shaped eyebrows. “It’s okay, I get it. It’s only four years of my life.” I smile at her, but I know she doesn’t buy it.
“You’ve been so quiet the last couple of days. You don’t have to worry about anyone stalking you here. That person will be dealt with when we find him.”
“I know.” I nod, glad she doesn’t know the real reason why I’m so distant. I push that memory out of my head before pulling my hand free from hers and climbing out of the car. I stare up at the mansion and marvel at the two turrets that sit on either side of the front entrance to the massive three story house. Vines cling to the corners of the stone walls, searching for a way in. There’s an undoubtedly strange air about this place with its looming forest and only one entry and exit road. The building looks as old as the regal three-hundred-year-old white oaks that lead any visitor down their path, herding them toward this monster of a house. If kings and queens still ruled, this would be their summer residence.
Walking around to the back of the car, Mama V. has already unpacked my three matching suitcases, and hands me the handle of one before she drags the other two up the stairs and toward the front door. I follow her and I’m surprised when she opens the door and waltzes in like she owns the place. I don’t know why I would think we’re supposed to knock as it’s my place of residence now, but it still catches me off guard. I follow her like a lost little puppy and gaze around at the dark wooden interior looking like an exclusive ski lodge. There are two sets of wooden staircases that skirt the left and right of the large main lounge room and three hallways leading to who the hell knows where. The place is eerily empty and I bet everyone cleared out because they knew I was coming. Female and male students are forbidden to be housed together on and off campus in any accommodation that is part of the college. The exception of this rule is the Queen of the frat. So, I don’t even know what lengths Papa V. had to go to allow me to stay here with the three boys.
“I think Rome said your room is on the second floor to the left.” She heads to the staircase to the left and hauls one suitcase up and comes back down for the second before I get halfway up.
Managing to not fall back down the stairs, I follow her lead until we reach one of the last rooms on the left. It has my name tacked to the door in Rome’s scrawl with a little love heart at the end. I open the door to reveal a room much larger than I thought I’d have here. “Oh, wow, it’s perfect.”
I walk in and head straight to the bay window with the soft cushioned loveseat built underneath it. Views of the sprawling forest stretch for miles and to the right I can see a large lake that extends until it kisses the horizon.
“I had my decorator come and set the room up for you. You have a new bed and we had the old dusty carpet ripped up. I hope it feels somewhat homey for you.” Mama V. comes and stands beside me. “Your mom would be so proud of you, my love.” She wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her.
“Thank you.” I lean my head on her and absorb this last moment of comfort before she leaves to go back home.
“I love you, my darling girl. You’ll be safe here and I know it will be hard in the beginning but give it time, you’ll soon love it here.” She kisses my head and lets go of me. “Now, do you want me to stay for a while and help you unpack or is it too embarrassing having me here?” She grins.
“You are never embarrassing,” I laugh, “but I know the long drive home is exhausting. So, it’s okay, you can go. I’ll be okay.” I glance back out the large window and feel a sense of calm.
“Are you sure?” Mama V. walks toward the door.
“Yes, I’m a big girl. I’m fine.”
“If you need me, call me anytime of the day or night, and don’t let those boys boss you around.” She winks before she disappears down the hallway.
I hear the closing of the front door echo up the staircase as I peer out to see if I can see anyone. The whole house is silent and I wonder if any of the other guys are here yet. I pull the note off my door before closing it after me and retreat into my room. It doesn’t feel like my room yet, but I’m determined to make it a little home for me. I lug one of my suitcases onto the bed, unzip it, and go about sorting my clothes into the walk-in closet. I’m lucky in that I have my own private bathroom and don’t have to share it with the others.
After I unpack my belongings, hang a few pictures on the wall, and sort my makeup and toiletries out in my bathroom, I sit on the loveseat and stare out at the darkening forest bored shitless. I must have spent hours setting up my room since the sun is starting to set and my stomach is growling from hunger. I move across my room and look in the mini fridge Mama V. had set up in here and find it stocked full of my favorite imported pickles.
“Thank you, Mama V.” I pull one of the jars out and attempt to open it, but the lid doesn’t budge. Tapping the side of the lid on the top of the fridge, I hear the familiar sound of the seal hissing at me, letting me know it’s broken. Making my way back to my new favorite seat, I sit my ass down and unscrew the lid. My life is complete now that I have enough pickles to get me through the next few weeks.
I’m about to bite into the pickle when I hear a knock at the door. “Who is it?”
“It’s me.” Rome’s voice filters through the door.
Excitement and relief tainted by anger flood me as I hurry to let him in. With the pickle now lodged between my teeth and the jar gripped in my arm, I open the door to be greeted by Rome and some guy I’ve never met, both wearing black tailcoats, vests and suit pants.
“I still can’t believe you’re here,” he says as he wraps an arm around my neck and steers me backward further into the room, acting like he didn’t just reject me again the other night. I swear he has the memory of a goldfish.
Taking the pickle out of my mouth. I smile at the guy in the doorway. “You can come in too, you know.”
He glances down the hallway and hesitates before Rome gives him a nod of okay. He stalks toward me with a friendly grin and holds out his hand to me to shake. “Hey, I’m Hudson.”
I hand Rome the jar of pickles and shake Hudson’s hand. “Hi, I’m Monroe.”
“Now I know where to come for pickles.” His smile widens as he chuckles.
“I got you. There are jars of them in the fridge.” I laugh. It feels good not to be stuck in my own head after the other night. I turn to Rome and see him staring out of the bay window. “Where’s your room? And why are you both dressed like you’re about to attend a wedding?” I ask him.
Without looking at me and deep in thought, he replies “upstairs.” He ignores my second question.
“Is Chaser up there too?” I glance at Hudson who stands awkwardly in the middle of my room.
“Sin and Chaser and…” He pauses for a beat before collecting himself and continuing, “are on the top floor. The rest of the guys are on this floor and the bottom floor depending on rank.”
“Rank?” I look at him confused.
“Okay, that’s my cue to leave. If you need anything at all, Monroe, I’m the next room over.” Hudson scurries out.
Rome places the jar on top of the refrigerator and looks at me. “I’ll explain it all later tonight. But seriously, Hudson is the only one you can trust in here, apart from us three.”
“Three?” I snort, knowing damn well I wouldn’t trust Sin to look after a dead houseplant.
“You know what I mean. Now, come here, I missed your sassy pants the last few days.” He grabs me around the waist and pulls me against him, giving me a bear hug. “Where the fuck did you run to at the party the other night?”
I freeze in his arms, the guilt and anguish radiating from me is palpable. “I had to get away.”
“From me because I was a cunt to you again?” His voice is low, and the slight uncertainty is something new.
“No!” I pull away from his chest and look up at him surprised he’s even thinking that.
His eyes dart between mine, looking for truth in my one word answer. Even my expression isn’t enough to convince him, I can tell from the slight downturn of his lips.
“I came looking for you.” He holds me tighter against him.
I swallow the razor blades in my throat, allowing them to scrape their way down to my heart and shred it more than it already is. “I’m sorry.” My words hurt.
“Please don’t run from me again even if I’m being a moody prick and say I can’t,” he barely whispers.
“I won’t.” I place my free hand on his abs. “You look very dapper in this.” I smile up at him, hoping my bad English accent lifts the mood. I don’t want to discuss the other night here and now. It’s too raw and I can’t bring myself to tell him someone stole the one thing I was saving for him.
“Dapper,” he repeats in the same bad English accent, his mood instantly shifting. “I doubt a dapper elitist would behave in such a manner”
I try to get out of his grip when he lets the loudest fart rip and the stench wafts up to surround us. “Oh my God, Rome, let me go! I think you need to lay off the protein powder.”
“Sniff it and weep, baby.” His chest rumbles with laughter and as much as I try not to breathe, I can’t help but laugh as well.
“Seriously, I need to open the window to get some fresh air.” I slap at him playfully and he lets go of me.
Waving my hand in front of my face, I scurry past him and open the window to allow some fresh air in. “Your insides are rank.” I wave my arms around to try and get the fart smell out.
“Just think, now you’ll get to smell my farts on the daily.”
“That’s just great, main reason I agreed to move here.” I roll my eyes at him and close the window back up.
“Come on, we’re wanted downstairs at the gathering.”
“The what?”
“Where we meet all the frat brothers and the ones who will be sharing the house with us.” He indicates with a jerk of his head for me to follow him.
Shaking my head, I hold my hand up at him in a stop gesture. “No thanks, I’ll just stay here. It’s bad enough I’m living here as it is. I don’t need the scrutiny and hateful glares of all your frat brothers in the one room.”
Rome tilts his head and I know he’s calculating on how he can grab me and make a run for it downstairs.
“Don’t even think about it.” I step back into the desk.
“Move it or I’ll fart on you again.” He grins and steps aside to allow me to pass him and exit through my bedroom door.
“I’ll take it. It’s the better of the two options.” I cross my arms in defiance.
“Monroe. Stop being difficult and antisocial.” He raises his eyebrows at me.
“Rome. Stop being annoying as fuck and trying to make me make friends with your stupid elitist roomies.”
He launches at me and before I can move to dodge him, he has me around the hips, hauling me over his shoulder. “Don’t struggle or we’ll fall down the stairs and make a grand entrance and everyone will be staring at you then.” He slaps my ass as he heads out of my room.
Pickle still in hand, I stare at the dark wooden floorboards as Rome makes his way toward the staircase. He slides me down to my feet and the closeness makes goosebumps break out over my skin. If only he had followed me up the stairs, this whole exchange would be completely different.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He grins down at me and steals my pickle, biting half of it off and chewing it disgustingly. “Now, move your ass down those stairs and come meet your new roommates.” He turns me on the spot and forces me to descend the stairs.
I spot Chaser and Sinisa sitting on two of the four leather chairs placed in front of the massive stone fireplace. If this place wasn’t a frat house, it would make the most stunning stately home. I count ten guys all wearing the tailcoats with the same emblem on the lapel, and I realize, Chaser and Sin are also dressed the exact same. The rest of the guys in here are dressed in dark blue versions of the black tailcoats. What the English monarch weirdness have I stumbled into?
“Stay put, or else.” Rome points at me before he makes his way through the crowd to take his seat beside Sinisa.
My gaze roams the room and I see Hudson in the far corner making small talk with another guy. Their gazes lock with mine for a heartbeat before they both glance away quickly, acting like they weren’t just eyeballing the elephant in the room. This year is going to be fucking great.
Sinisa stands and the chatter amongst the guys dies down until silence fills the room. “Evening, gentleman.” His eyes pin me to the spot, making me feel like I don’t belong as per fucking usual. “Welcome to the first day of the rest of your lives.”
Cheering erupts and echoes around the cold room, the guys all fist bump and slap each other on the backs before Sin claps twice to silence the room again. I watch on in amusement at the way they all obey him.
“It is both a day of grievance and a day of celebration. Let us have a moment of silence for our fallen King, Queen and Jack.” He bows his head but not before I catch a wicked smirk taint his lips.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, I have a perfect viewpoint to see all the men bow their heads, giving a moment of respect to who knows what. What does Sin mean by fallen?
Literally, ten seconds pass before Sin clears his throat. “That’s enough seconds out of my life for those fuckers. Now, time to celebrate the new King, Queen and Jacks of the Spades Fraternity. May I present to you our two new Jacks, Rome and Chaser, please step forward.”
Both Chaser and Rome stand up and face Sin, who proceeds to pin something on to their jacket lapels. Rome and Chaser step back behind Sin, proudly displaying their new badges. The crowd stays silent as they all watch this weird as fuck ceremony.
“I know we all have been eager to see who our new Queen is, so it is with great pleasure I announce Miss Charlotte Rathesbury.” Sin’s gaze lands on me and I can feel the burning hatred from across the room.
Everyone turns toward me, watching the top of the stairs as their cheering and wolf whistling gets louder. I twist to look behind me when I spot her descending the staircase in her matching suit jacket she’s wearing as a dress. Her black heels with their red soles click clack as she makes her way down toward the rest of the fraternity members. Legs that go on for days is all I can see and the envy I feel in that moment makes me want to slap myself. She’s absolutely stunning in that supermodel with perfect hair kind of way, and I would be lying if the green eyed monster wasn’t poking me from the inside. Her beautiful smile turns into a scowl as her gaze catches mine and the look of abhorrent hatred washes over her features as she breezes past me and through the parting crowd of guys.
Well, I guess we aren’t going to be besties then. Her instant dislike toward me means she knows who I am and why I am here. I wish I could tell her I don’t want anything to do with any of this hierarchy bullshit and I most definitely don’t even want to be here. Period.
A dormant jealousy gnaws at my insides when she stands face to face with Sin, a feeling I shouldn’t be entertaining. But watching the way he soaks her in, the way his gaze rakes over her perfect body hungrily makes me irrationally angry. Sin grips the lapels of her jacket in his fists and yanks her into him, their noses inches apart. It’s raw and sensual and I feel like I should look away. A wide grin spreads over her beautiful face as she places her palms on his chest and allows him to place her pin on her lapel while she pins one to his jacket. Her sultry stare makes me want to rip her face off.
“My brothers, you have all survived the hazing rituals and come out the other side mostly in one piece. I’m proud. I put you all through literal hell and not one of you gave up. Please pledge your allegiance by repeating after me. I pledge my oath of silence and of my loyalty to the Spades.”
“I pledge my oath of silence and of my loyalty to the Spades.” Their voices echo as one throughout the room.
After they all repeat the fraternity pledge, the eager and rowdy crowd disperse into their own little groups to drink and party the night away. My eyes dart between Chaser and Rome happily chatting to the Queen. Chaser’s gaze collects mine as he sweeps the room looking for something, giving me a cheeky wink in the process. At this point all I want to do is retreat upstairs into my room and hide until I have to find my first class in the morning. Turning, I make it up three stairs when I hear Sin calling my name, making me freeze and question whether I should walk away or face off with him in front of his new friends.
“What’s the rush, Mono?” The fabric of his jacket grazes against my arm, making my skin prickle.
The scent of his expensive cologne wafts up under my nose and I notice he’s much closer than I first thought. I turn on my heels to come face to face with him. We’re eye to eye with me being three steps above where he’s standing, and his large form shields me from the rest of the fraternity behind him. Scowling at me, his chagrin paints his features perfectly making it abundantly clear that me being here is ruining his existence.
“Figured I’d leave all you juveniles to your fraternity bonding shit.” My eyes slip and land on his mouth just as his tongue darts out to moisten his bottom lip.
“Are you butt hurt you weren’t invited and won’t be a part of the Spades family?”
“If you think that I care about joining your little group, you don’t know me at all.” I glare at him because his words, although not true in the slightest, do evoke a small part of me that makes me feel like I don’t belong anywhere.
“Sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think about you at all, Monroe.”
“Touche, dickhead.”
He cocks a brow and smirks, grabs my arm roughly in his large hand and pulls me into him. “Stay the fuck out of my way. You don’t exist here unless I say so. Understand?” There’s something detached and unhinged about him and the way he stares at me.
“Perfectly.” I spit at him, putting extra emphasis on my p.
“You have no idea what you’ve got yourself into, do you? I have plans for you and I don’t think your prudish little self will enjoy them.” He shoves me off him and I nearly fall flat on my ass but I manage to catch myself on the railing as he storms away into the crowd of tailcoats. I notice the curious glances of a few of the guys nearby, ignoring them, I escape up the stairs and close myself into my room, locking the door after me.