Chapter 17
First day of actual college classes and I look like death warmed up. I didn’t sleep a wink last night after the encounter with Sin. His words cut deep, and my jealousy got the better of me. Thinking they’re all sleeping with her and being told they are, are two different realities. The fact Rome never wanted me always made me feel like shit and unattractive. Now, my fucked-up brain has conjured up sick fantasies about the masked guy the other night at the party. How he made me feel special in a sick depraved way. Choosing me out of everyone else, even when I look like I do, and made me feel desired. I know what happened was wrong on all levels, and I know my head is messed up for allowing myself to enjoy his brutal touch, but part of me did enjoy it and I’ve craved it ever since. The discomfort between my legs brings back memories of him breaking me and devouring every inch of me.
I’m up and ready when I hear a loud crash coming from upstairs and of course my mind goes there and I picture all sorts of sexual positions that could make you break furniture. It’s not good for my mental wellbeing, I know, but fuck I can’t help torturing myself. I finish applying the cream to my tattoo, wrap it in plastic, pull my hoodie sleeve over it and grab my bag to get the fuck out of my room before I hear anything else. Locking the door, I hurry down the stairs and pause at the entrance to the large kitchen. There’s a hive of movement as the guys all work together to make breakfast. I’m starving, but the thought of joining them all makes me anxious.
“Don’t just stand there, come and grab some food before one of these pigs eats it all.” A guy with messy blond hair grins at me as he holds up a frying pan of freshly made scrambled eggs.
Tentatively, I make my way toward him as he scoops some eggs onto a plate and I watch in fascination as a few more frat members pile something onto the plate before blond guy hands it to me. “Thanks.” I smile and I’m genuinely thankful for their acceptance of me.
“Come on.” He nods to follow him, I do, and we make our way outside to the table that faces the lake.
Another guy taps the space on the bench seat beside him for me to sit. I’m confused and a little overwhelmed at their friendliness. “I promise I won’t bite.” He winks casually before he continues to shovel eggs into his mouth.
“I wouldn’t believe him, but you should be safe while he eats. I’m Deacon and that animal you’re about to sit beside is Alistair La Croix, captain of the Bulldogs football team,” Deacon says as he climbs into a seat on the other side of the table.
I place my plate down and step over the bench seat, planting myself beside this Alistair guy.
“Hey, I’m Tristan and this is Oliver.” The guy sitting next to Deacon introduces himself and the guy sitting next to him. “And those douchebags down at that end of the table are Baron, Henry, Dalton and Quinn.” Tristan throws a piece of his bacon at them.
They all look up. “Hey,” they say in unison and go back to their conversation.
“Hi, I’m Monroe, but you all probably already know that.” I grab my fork off my plate and spear a piece of crispy bacon, shoving it into my mouth, my gaze catches part of my new ink which hides the red marks underneath.
“We know who you are.” Deacon sips his coffee.
“Right.” I chew slowly, imagining all the bullshit stories Sin has told them all.
Alistair leans into me, his huge bicep presses against my arm, his face angled down toward me. “And I don’t listen to that fuck stick brother of yours. If you need some breathing space, come and find me.” He straightens back up and turns his attention to the back of the house.
I catch a quick glance from Deacon before he too diverts his gaze to the back of the house. The rest of the guys who are sitting here with us continue chatting amongst themselves while eating, not bothering to glance where these two are looking.
I follow their line of sight to see Sin, Chaser and Rome heading toward us with breakfast food piled high onto their plates. Rome’s wide grin as he heads straight for me makes me happy and I can’t help but grin back.
“Morning, babe.” He kisses the top of my head before he climbs over the bench seat and sits beside me, fist bumping Alistair over my plate.
“Hey.” I smile at their cute bro interaction and want to say something smart ass but think better of it.
“Hey.” Chaser ruffles my hair as he passes behind us and sits himself next to Rome.
“Morning.” I run my hand over my hair to flatten any mess Chaser made. My gaze lands on Sinisa as he so casually sits himself right across from me. Last night’s conversation not affecting him in the slightest. “Where’s the side piece?” I bite off a large piece of bacon and blink at him innocently.
Alistair nearly chokes on his food and requires a sip of coffee, which he takes from my cup. I’m not sure if it’s a mistake or a purposely executed move to piss Sin off, but it has the effect regardless.
I know the guys at the other end of the long table are staring between us but I ignore the stares and continue chewing on my mouthful of salty bacon before washing it down with some coffee Alistair hands back to me.
“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, dearest sister.”
“What’s there to be jealous of?” I smile sweetly at him and shovel a mouthful of eggs into my mouth. The explosion of flavor has my eyes going wide. I moan quietly knowing exactly what I’m doing and it has the desired effect. The guys sitting near me all stare and adjust themselves in their seats. Sin’s caustic gaze could burn through an ice storm as he trains it on me.
“Do you really think you should be eating that much? I mean, didn’t you say you’re on a diet to lose some weight so you can lose your v-card?” His evil smirk has me reeling.
“Fuck you!” Standing up, I want to run into the lake and never resurface but I climb over the bench seat and storm back inside instead.
“Fucking hell, Sin. Can you quit it!” I hear Rome say as the table falls silent. “Monroe,” he shouts after me.
I don’t turn around, I beeline straight for the front door and burst through it nearly in tears. I realize I left my bag behind but at this point I don’t even care. Why does he have to humiliate me in front of the guys I have been forced to live with for the next year.
“Fuck, Monroe, stop!” Rome calls from behind me as I head down the long driveway. His pounding footsteps get louder until he catches up to me, gripping my arm and hauling me to a stop.
“What?” I pull my arm out of his hand, and he’s surprised by my sudden anger toward him. Obviously unaware Sin spilled their little secret of sharing Queen Charlotte between them.
“Don’t listen to him, you’re perfect the way you are. He’s just a vindictive cunt and I can say that as his best friend.” Rome takes both my hands in his and pulls me into a big bear hug.
I pull back and glare up at him. “Don’t listen to him? What about how he’s the only one telling me the truth about Charlotte?” I shout at him.
Rome looks at me, his eyes dance between mine. I can see he has something he wants to say but won’t.
“Fucking own up to it, Rome. Why didn’t you tell me she was living on the same floor with you all?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was important,” he says in a world of confusion.
“You didn’t think it was important to tell me you guys are all seeing the same girl at the same fucking time? I know the purpose of these queens. My fucking best friend is one. Didn’t you think she’d tell me everything?” I seethe. I’m more upset than I thought I’d be.
“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not fucking sleeping with her. I haven’t fucking touched her and neither has Chaser. I don’t know what the fuck Sin is playing at but he’s trying to rile you up. Baby, look at me.” He cups my face in his hands and makes me look up at him. “I’m telling you the truth. We haven’t fucking touched her. Sin is a cunt for spreading bullshit.”
I want to believe him so badly but I don’t know who to believe anymore. Sin has buried himself in my head and I need to get him out before he drives a huge wedge between me Rome and Chaser.
“Come here.” He pulls me back into him, gripping me extra tightly. “Please believe me.”
Wrapping my arms around his waist, he feels safe and familiar, something I need right now. “Sin is a cunt,” I mumble into his t-shirt.
Gently rubbing my back, I feel Rome’s heart beating hard against his chest as he holds me against him. “I don’t know why he does this shit continuously but I’m sorry and no one is going to judge you for what he said before at breakfast.”
“What the fuck does it matter anyway, it’s not true. Let them all think whatever the fuck they want.” I run my finger over the bruising and redness hiding under my permanent rosary beads around my wrist.
He pulls me away from him as confusion washes over his features. “What do you mean?” A flash of anger or is it jealousy flits behind his eyes, disappearing as quickly as it appeared as he waits for me to elaborate.
“I lost my v-card. You’re off the hook.” Unwrapping my arms from around him, I pat him on the chest dismissively, because as much as I’ve come to terms with how I lost my virginity, I still would rather it have been Rome. Walking away from him back toward the house, I see the guys all heading to the garages, when Rome takes a few large strides and grabs my arm again to try to stop me.
“Monroe, what the fuck?”
I stop and turn to glance up at him, his beautiful features glowing in the sunlight. “I’m not talking about it right now. Just leave it, please.”
“No, I will not leave it.” He steps around in front of me to shield me from the guys and moves so his stomach brushes against me. He looks lost, unsure if he believes the words I just spluttered out so carelessly.
“Rome,” I whisper. Looking up into his intense stare, I feel a sudden heaviness as the reality of it not being him weighs on my heart. “Please, not now.” I shake my head before stepping around him and heading back to the house to grab my bag.
Alistair stands with my backpack held firmly in his hand on the bottom step. He winks as I approach and holds out my bag to me. “Thanks.” I smile at his generosity.
“Don’t take any notice of the shit that comes out of his mouth. If you want, you can ride with us today, I’ll make sure he keeps his mouth shut.” Alistair indicates toward the garages.
Draping the bag over my shoulder, I see Sin casually walking out of the front door with Charlotte beside him. He smirks at me as they pass, and I watch them saunter off to the garage and head to separate cars. “Thanks for the offer, but I think it will just cause more unnecessary tension.”
“My offers are always there if you need. Come find me on campus and I’ll show you where the best coffee is.” He throws me a genuine smile before he follows the other guys to his car.
Rome is still standing in the middle of the driveway, his hands entwined together behind his head, staring up at the blue sky. He’s still like a statue, only the up and down movement of his chest as he breathes shows he’s not turned to stone out there.
“Rome!” Chaser calls out from behind me. “What did you say to our boy?” Chaser drapes his arm around my shoulders and tows me toward the garage.
“Nothing important.” My tone implies differently, and Chaser squeezes me into him before letting go and jogging across the driveway to go get Rome.
Climbing into the car, Sin is already in the driver’s seat playing with his ear buds, drowning out the world that he causes so much chaos in. Ignorance is bliss in that thick skull of his. I flip him the finger because I know he wouldn’t hear me if I told him exactly what I thought of him right in this instance. I don’t know how he knows what I did but he returns the gesture before starting the car and revving it. The loud popping of the exhaust is unnecessary, and I roll my eyes at his immaturity.
Rome climbs into the front, obviously avoiding me and Chaser slides in beside me. Taking out my phone, I scroll aimlessly as we drive to campus in the cavalcade of black Range Rovers, passing fields of lush dense forest and heading toward our first official day of classes.