Chapter 23
“That order will be in next week, sorry for the delay,” I said to the Werewolf female.
“Oh that’s fine, I have these to keep me busy until then,” she smiled at me. “By the way, having that coffee shop next door is genius.”
I glanced over and smiled, the scent of sugary pastries and coffee filtering in even through the walls and the musty smell of the books around me. Sometimes when I caught all of the scent’s mixed together, there was a pull in my mind, a memory trying to surface but I could never quite grasp it.
“I’m glad you like it,” I said with a tight smile, “but it wasn’t really my idea, just a happy coincidence.”
“You both opened around the same time.”
“Yes, that’s true. But like I said, a coincidence.”
I’d said it dozens of times since my shop opened, but each time I had the feeling I was wrong.
The Werewolf female shrugged and collected her books.
“Well, however it happened I think it’s great. We finally have a place that makes a decent espresso.” She leaned in conspiratorially, “Don’t tell the Bergen sisters I said that.”
The Bergens owned the local bakery and were particularly grouchy about competition.
“My lips are sealed.”
I watched the female go, and glanced to my left once again.
The little coffee shop shared a wall with me; a set of French doors connected our businesses, though I currently had heavy book cases in front of them. I had come here nine months ago after recovering from an injury from a job and a life I couldn’t remember completely. Sometimes, the back of my head still hurt, which I was told would happen for the rest of my life.
That wasn’t the hard part, not really.
It was knowing that I had a life before I woke up in that hospital bed. There had been people that knew me, maybe even loved me, and now I couldn’t remember them.
I did have vague memories of growing up in a foundling home, of being a specialized agent of the Secret Archive, which was probably how I got relocated to a haven town. These places were heavily warded by magic that made it safe for Supernaturals who needed to start over. Apparently I was one of those, though I didn’t know why, or who the enemy I was hiding from even was.
My therapist had been working with me on retrieving some of those memories and the last three sessions we’d had some help from the Archive in the form an artifact that was healing my mind. I now could remember that I had a berserker gene, that I had lost control of it as a child. I had a friend by the name of Angelica, though I only could recall small pieces of our relationship. I could vaguely recall my career with the Archive and also with another group, but those were too fuzzy to really pin down.
It was odd to have muscle memory of firearms, knives and hand to hand fighting without the context of how I got it, or why it had been necessary, but after the last session that was starting to take shape too. Even though the therapist told me I’d likely never recover everything, the fact that I was recovering anything and that it was happening this quickly was a very good sign.
One part of my memories I hadn’t really told him about was the vague dreams of a woman with red hair. Some of them were wonderfully sexual and I’d wake up coming in my sheets. Other times, the dreams had me waking up in a cold sweat, ready to kill someone. I could never see the woman’s face in my dreams, and even if I could, there was no memory of it when I was awake.
When I tried now to conjure this mystery woman, my mind would inevitably wander to the proprietor of the coffee shop next door. And each time, I had to shake my head.
She’s too young…and she’s never said anything.
I tried not to think about the times I’ve caught her looking at me with breathtaking sadness in her gorgeous green eyes, or the few times lately that I’ve been close to asking her out for dinner.
I always talk myself out of it because who would want a giant Orc with scars, tattoos and memory problems that was fifteen years older than them?
Maybe her…no, come on now. Enough of this.
It was nearly time for my therapy appointment so I straightened the shop, placing books either on their shelves or in the restock pile. When I was leaving my small office at the back a bright bolt of light caught my eye. It was from the gold binding the broken pieces on the kintsugi pottery that sat in my office. Often it would catch the late afternoon sunlight like it was now.
I didn’t know why I had the piece. It was beautiful, for sure. And I was told quite expensive considering it was over a hundred years old. But that wasn’t what always drew my eye to it.
There was something else about it, something that also reminded me of the woman with red hair and I had no idea why. Had it been hers? Had we bought it together?
I never got around to asking the therapist about this woman because it felt…precious. But maybe tonight I should and get it over with. Maybe he would use the artifact on me and I’d finally have my answer.
Crescent Cove was the name of this particular haven town. It was quaint and had a dock for small boats and a foot ferry to take people an hour away to the larger city. The main street, where my shop was located and where I lived in the apartment above, had many mom and pop businesses, giving it that stereotypical small town feeling. We even had a park with a gazebo that was decorated for each season, and a festival to celebrate Samhain and Beltane, though we called them by their Mundane names.
I knew from some of my memories that I had wanted to live in a place like this, but I didn’t know why. There were many times when I’d smell something, or hear a song and a memory would stir in the back of my mind. Sometimes it came to the fore, and sometimes it disappeared like smoke. I was learning to accept that, but there were occasions when my anger got the better of me and I’d spend a few hours at the local boxing gym to try and exorcise those feelings without hurting anyone.
It had been a crisp spring morning when I’d woken up, but now the late afternoon sun had gotten warm and I was in shirt sleeves. The Supernaturals saw my Orc form but everyone else only saw my glamour, thanks to one of the special spells over the town. Regardless of which they saw, I was huge and some were intimidated by me. I tried to mitigate it by a smile or just respecting their boundaries but it stung a bit. I was the new resident, and friends had been hard to come by when I was still recovering who the hell I was.
The office was up a small hill, and by the time I got there I was a bit sweaty and late. I burst into the small waiting room that resembled a living room, and ran into the short redhead that ran the coffee shop next door to me.
“Clara!” I said in shock, my hands momentarily going to her shoulders before falling away.
She was flushed, her green eyes wide, but the moment those lush lips turned up into a smile, something in my chest pulled. She had on a pink maxi dress with a cropped jean jacket over it. The gold and onyx cuff bracelets she always wore peeked out from the sleeves, and the very edges of the crow tattoo on the back of her slender neck showed on either side. My hands suddenly ached to grab the back of that neck, maybe even slam my hand across her ass.
The sense of familiarity was stunning as the seconds ticked by, and she continued to stare up at me.
Do I know her?
“Hey there, Mark,” she said. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“No, that’s okay…”
I knew I shouldn’t ask this. If I was wrong, then it would come across creepy, and if I was right, then reintroducing memories in the wrong way could set me back. But the longer we stood there staring at one another, the more my body wanted to wrap around hers, the more my heart cracked with want.
“This is going to sound really crazy,” I started.
“Yeah?” she asked, that breathy sound shooting straight to my dick.
“But um…did we…I mean…” I let out a nervous laugh. “You see, I don’t have all my…No, that’s…”
If I’d been her, I would’ve run away from the crazy Orc who was stuttering in front of her.
Instead, she took my hand in hers and wove our fingers together.
“Ask what you want to,” she whispered.
“It’s crazy.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe I like a little crazy.”
There it was again, that flicker of recognition I couldn’t place.
“Do I know you?” I whispered, leaning in.
She bit her bottom lip and I was mesmerized by it. I used my thumb to pull the plump pillow from between her teeth and ran it slowly across. Her breathing stuttered.
“Am I scaring you?”
“No,” she breathed, “no, I…Yes, you know me.”
“Your name isn’t Clara.”
I didn’t know how I knew that, but I did, down to my gut.
Tears fell in fat drops from her eyes.
“No, it’s not.”
“Who are you to me?”
The door to the therapist office opened and doctor Romero was standing there, a rather short Gargoyle with only one wing and dark rimmed glasses.
“Mark, you’re…oh, I see,” he grinned at us, and waved us in. “Come on you two, it’s time.”
I frowned at him and then back at Clara, who nodded.
“You…time for what?”
“It’s okay,” Dr. Romero assured me. “There’s a rather large memory that I’ve been waiting to help you find and,” he wiggled his finger at us, “from this here, I think you’re ready.”
I swallowed and glanced down at Clara, who gave me a wide smile.
“I don’t have to come if you don’t want me to,” she said.
“No, I want you to.”
I was still holding her hand and I found myself completely unwilling to let go, as if when I did, she’d never come back.
So I held on, and we walked into the office. It was very much like someone’s den with a desk, bookshelves, a comfy couch and chair, lamps and a coffee table, all in soothing neutral colors. Dr. Romero brought the small box from a locked safe on the wall and sat in a chair across from the couch, where Clara and I sat.
“Now, you know that unlocking memories can be a little shocking, but those have been relatively smaller compared to the one we are about to work on.”
I glanced over at Clara, who was once again biting her bottom lip and staring down at her feet.
“Are you alright?” I asked.
She gave me an exquisite smile, the fingers of her other hand twitching like she wanted to touch me.
“Yeah, I’m fine. This is about you.”
“Unlocking this particular memory,” Dr. Romero continued, “will likely unlock many more. There may be a flood of them and it will be a little overwhelming. You may even experience pain, or a rush of emotions that are contradictory and difficult to handle.”
I nodded.
“I understand. I want to do this, I…” I glanced at Clara and it was so clear to me that I needed to know who she was, any doubts or fears I may have had faded away. “Do it.”
“Keep holding her hand,” Romero said as he opened the box and withdrew a small statue, old and delicate.
It was apparently a representation of the Greek goddess Mnemosyne, the goddess of memory.
“Just like last time, touch her head and close your eyes,” Romero said.
I did as he instructed but unlike every other time I didn’t have to wait for the memories to start unlocking. It was as if my mind, my very soul, was just waiting for this moment.
I jerked and gasped, everything rushing into ,y consciousness at a blinding speed.
I saw my first meeting with…
Nina…
“Well you’re a big guy, aren’t ya?”
The first few months of working with her, protecting her, fending off her attempts to draw me out.
Then the birthday party, her fearlessness…late night…the TV…Jeopardy…
“How do you know all of this?”
“I read.”
Books…so many books…they were stacked in every corner of my room…and she was borrowing them…
“Okay but, why can’t there be more than just one woman in all of these? Did Sherlock not like women?”
Then falling in love with her…feeling more alive in her presence than I ever had in my life…longing to touch her but so afraid because…
I’m a murderer.
I let out a yell as the memory surfaced.
I killed my team…I killed them with my bare hands.
I let go of the idol and leapt off the couch.
Nina came rushing toward me, and I held my hands out to stop her.
The hands that murdered all those people…my friends.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said, voice breaking.
“You won’t,” she said. “You never did, you never would.”
“I did though…I killed my friends…”
“No, you didn’t. Or rather, it wasn’t you. That scar on your neck?”
I reached back and ran my fingers over it.
“They’d told me it had to do with losing my memory.”
“It does,” she swallowed and I saw fear in the way her brow furrowed. “Because of me.”
I shook my head and scrubbed a hand back and forth over my shaved head.
“I don’t fucking understand…I-I don’t remember…”
“Nina, we should give him some space,” Romero said.
“No! I don’t want fucking space, I want answers!” I yelled.
“You had a device implanted in your brain that caused your berserker to come out against your will,” Nina said quickly. “That’s what caused your team to die, not you.”
“But I…I did it, I remember some of it.”
“Yes, but it wasn’t you, it was the person controlling you.”
What she said didn’t make sense right away, but as she spoke, more things unlocked. I felt as if I were running to catch a speeding train, too many things were coming out of the black hole they’d been trapped in.
“Who?” I demanded. “Who was controlling me?”
“Nina…” Romero’s voice held warnings.
“Whitman.” She said it with mountains of hate and I found myself growling at the name. “He did it.”
“And where is he now?”
“Six feet under.”
“Did I…?”
“No, I did.”
“How?”
She gave me a half smile and her eyes flared dark before returning to that deep green.
“Painfully,” she answered.
More things started to flood me and agony flared hot behind my eyes. I winced and grabbed my head, stumbling into a chair.
“I think that’s enough for today,” Romero said. “This could do more damage than good.”
“No, please, I want to continue.”
“Mark—”
“Darius,” I corrected.
“Not here you’re not.”
And then I remembered.
“The Sinners, they’re still after me?”
“Yes,” Nina said. “If they thought you were alive, they would be. But we’re both dead, technically.”
“The Archive…Angelica, she did that?”
Nina nodded.
“Why don’t I walk you back to your place,” Nina offered. “We can talk more there if you want.”
“That’s not a good idea,” Romero cautioned. “His mind is still recovering, we can’t push it too much.”
“How about this?” I offered, getting to my feet. “I just keep it to Nina, nothing more.”
There was still something I didn’t remember, something big and I needed to know, now more than ever.
Romero frowned and cleaned his glasses with a sigh.
“If I said no, would it matter?”
“Not at all.”
“Well, at least you’re honest. Fine, but try to keep it to just her. And if you experience any prolonged pain, call me immediately. Don’t push it, understand?”
We both nodded enthusiastically and darted out of the office.
For all that chattiness in the office, I had no idea what to say when we got outside. And from the way Nina’s mouth kept opening and closing, I gathered she didn’t either.
“Do you want to go to my place or yours?” I asked her.
“Yours, I think it will be more comfortable for you.”
I nodded and once again we fell into silence. But instead of becoming uncomfortable again, all I felt was peace, like I was right where I belonged.
We climbed the stairs at the back of my shop to the apartment above and I unlocked the door. It was small, sparse really. I hadn’t felt much of a need for things, and there were no pictures since I was still piecing my life back together.
It was an open concept, with a small living space that flowed into a dining area and then the galley kitchen which just barely fit me. Down the single hall in the entire place were the two bedrooms and the bathroom.
“So, um, this is my place,” I said, ushering her inside.
I knew that Nina had come from money, that when I was her bodyguard I’d lived in what was essentially the guest house which I’d also kept fairly simple. But I was still nervous having her here. There were certain impulses firing that made no sense to me.
I felt like I should grab her and kiss her but I’d never done that before…had I?
She wandered around the living room and set her purse on the second hand couch I’d bought. I tightened my muscles to keep from going to her, but it went against every instinct I had.
“It’s nice,” she smiled at me. “Cozy, just like you wanted.”
“How did you know that?”
A glimpse of pain crossed her features, there and gone like clouds passing in front of the sun.
“You told me once.”
I nodded, that made a certain amount of sense.
“We were close, weren’t we?”
“Yes,” she whispered, “we were.”
“And…and did I protect you? Did I keep you safe?”
Her smile was sad.
“Yes.”
“There’s more you’re not telling me.”
“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to reveal or not,” she admitted, sitting on the edge of the couch. “I was kidnapped, and you searched for over a year and then—”
“I found you.” The words fell from my mouth as the memories unlocked.
The pain of losing her, the gut wrenching fear that she was dead, it stole my breath and I gasped, clutching my stomach.
“Oh my God, Nina,” I groaned. “You were…I didn’t know if you were dead or alive.”
Tears shone in her eyes and she looked like she wanted to move, but didn’t dare for fear of interrupting what was happening.
More things floated up to me.
She was in the hospital…the Sinners wanted me to kill her…we were on the run and…
Nina’s naked body draped over my lap, the sound of my hand striking her flesh.
Her moans.
Her taste.
How could I have forgotten her taste?
“Nina,” I choked out.
I remembered the feel of her in my arms, the way she trembled around me when she came, the gasping moans, her touch, her mouth. How had I lived an entire year without her?
As I fell to my knees in front of her, tears streaming down both our faces, I realized that deep down, my heart had never forgotten her, even if my mind had.
“You remember?” she sobbed.
“I remember loving you…and you loving me. Nothing else matters.”
We reached for one another and our mouths met in a bruising crush. I tasted salt and I wasn’t sure if it was her tears or mine, but I didn’t care because these tears weren’t sadness, they were healing. And for the first time since I woke up in that hospital bed, I was whole again in her arms.
“Darius…,” she sobbed as I covered her face in kisses. “I thought…I thought I’d lost you.”
“No, never. I love you…I love you, Nina…my Nina.”
“Always yours.”
Suddenly, we couldn’t get close enough to one another. The clothes were too much of a barrier and everything became a torrent of hands and fabric tossed to the side. She tore the neck of my shirt getting it off me and I ripped one of the straps of her maxi dress in my need to get my mouth on her breasts.
A year of not touching her, tasting her, being inside of her and I was starving. My need for her was feral, animalistic, but this time, I didn’t fear that darker side of me. I knew he was there, but I also knew that he would never hurt her, only protect her.
Our mate.
Our Nina.
I may not remember every time we’d been together, but I did know that I’d never allowed myself the freedom I did now to be as unhinged with her as we both needed.
Nina’s dress was bunched around her waist as I laved her nipples into stiff, raspberry tinted peaks. Her wild hair was illuminated with the setting sun, gold and red like a crown, and her eyes shone as she stared down at me with wanton pleasure.
“Touch me,” she said.
“Have you forgotten how to ask like a good girl.”
Her cheeks flushed even more, and she gasped as I smacked her thigh.
“Please, sir, touch my pussy?”
“Fuck…I missed that dirty mouth.”
Her dark chuckle was cut off by the graze of my knuckles down the soaked front of her cotton panties. The moment I felt that wetness, something came undone in me. I was driven to mark her, to fill her, to feel her milking my cock over and over.
“I have a lot of missed days and nights to make up for,” I said, nuzzling my face against the wet fabric. “You’ll never be without me again.”
I dragged her panties down with my teeth, exposing the beautiful, damp curls on her mons. But it wasn’t enough, I needed her bare and dripping for me.
With one, hard tug, I ripped her panties off.
“I liked those,” she breathed.
“I’ll buy you a hundred pairs, all so I can rip them off your pussy every fucking day.”
I parted her with my thumbs, the glistening of her arousal filled my nostrils and I breathed deep. With a broken groan, I ran my tongue along the drenched seam and reveled in the way she moved her cunt against my mouth.
“You…you like me eating you out,” I said, another memory falling loose. “I’ve been the only one.”
“The only one,” she confirmed, her fingers ran along my scalp and the look of unabashed adoration she gave me was too much.
“Nina,” I groaned, falling on her pussy like the deprived male I was.
As I sucked and licked her little pearl, I plunged one finger into her tight heat. She arched her spine, fingers digging into my skin as she let loose a deep moan. It was a good thing no one lived on either side of me, because I was going to fuck her hard, make her scream my name all night long.
“Watch me eat you,” I ordered. “Hands over your head, don’t move them.”
“Yes, sir.”
I circled her opening with my finger while I watched her, flushed, lips swollen and parted as she panted and waited for me to give her what she wanted.
“There’s been no one else,” she breathed. “I’ve waited for you, because you’re the one I love. Only ever you.”
“Mine,” I said, a long growl in the word.
“Yours.”
Over and over I got her close, only to move to her inner thigh, her belly.
“Please…please, sir,” she sobbed.
“What do you want?”
“To come.”
“Where?”
“On your cock.”
“You missed this?”
I had already unzipped my pants and lowered my boxers while I’d been eating her out. It was impossible for me not to take myself in hand while I had my baby writhing in pleasure.
“Yes,” she groaned as I gave it a stroke.
“Prove it,” I stood up, putting my cock at level with her mouth.
She needed no other provocation. Nina went for my cock like a possessed woman. She didn’t even bother teasing me. No, my naughty girl took me fully into her mouth and slid right down until I hit the back of her throat.
“Fuck!” I roared in shock.
I grabbed a handful of fiery curls to control how fast she was going; I did not want this to end yet.
Slowly, I dragged her up my cock and then back down, setting a pace that still tested my control while making us both fill the room with a filthy soundtrack. Soon I was having a hard time justifying not unloading into her mouth, especially when Nina started to pluck and pinch her nipples, moaning around my dick while saliva dripped down her chin.
“You’re such a pretty little picture…all slutty for me.”
She groaned again and I damn near lost it.
So I pulled her off me and flipped her around, pressing her chest against the back of the couch before seizing her hips. That glorious, round ass was right there and I couldn’t help but slap it.
Nina let out the prettiest little yelp while my hand print bloomed red on one round globe.
I leaned over, lining myself up to her drenched entrance.
“I missed you,” I whispered in her ear. “I love you, Nina.”
“I love you, too-ah, Darius!”
The sound of her screaming my name while I was inside of her was nearly the end of me.
One more hard, punishing thrust and I was seated inside of her, one arm around her middle, the other at her hip as my body was draped over hers.
Nina wound her arm up around my neck, her body trembling as I just held myself inside of her, savoring the soft tightness of her cunt and knowing I was home. We started to fuck away the pain of the past year, the remnants of uncertainty and loneliness. Each slow stroke became a promise to never again be apart, to love one another without regret or holding back.
All the loneliness of the past year, the ache I’d lived with that I now knew was the place where Nina had once been, it was all cracking inside of me. I needed the brutal passion to burn the last vestiges of it away and bring something new.
“Tell me I can fuck you hard,” I demanded, my hand around her throat, voice deep.
“Yes, please, I need that.”
I growled and snarled as I straightened up and clutched her hips tightly. I would likely leave marks, but I was no longer afraid of that, not when my Nina had given me permission, not when she had embraced all of me. I thrust and yanked her toward me at the same time, my balls slapping her ass, our bodies making crude sounds that I adored, punctuated by sobs and cries of pleasure.
It was savage, and it was perfect.
When her channel tightened around me, her back arching, I let myself go too. Fire chased through my blood until I burst inside her, filling her with streams of cum, marking her inside once again.
I held her tight to me, our bodies sweaty and shaking as we cried. Her little nails dug into my neck, leaving scratches but I didn’t care. I was leaving my fair share as my mouth bit and sucked along her shoulders.
“Don’t leave me yet, I need you to stay,” she sobbed.
“I’m not leaving…I don’t want to…ever.”
I stayed buried inside of her and shifted us to lay side by side on the couch, barely fitting. We didn’t speak, just touched one another, reacquainting ourselves with the dips and ridges of one another’s bodies.
The soft roundness of her belly, the roughness of my scars.
The smell of vanilla in her hair and the hint of mint in my soap.
I ran my fingers across the tattoo on her neck.
“Did you always have this?”
“No, it’s…well, these,” she held up her wrists, showing the gold and obsidian bracelets she always wore, “are suppression cuffs. They are supposed to completely suppress my power but it’s—”
“Too strong…the Morrigan.”
“Yes. It’s now a part of me. And because the Secret Archive isn’t quite sure what to do with a living artifact, I agreed to wear them. Trouble is, they only weaken the power, not take it away fully. So the tattoo helps me focus and use only the amount of power the Archive has deemed…agreeable.”
“How do you feel about that?”
Nina let out a sharp breath and threaded her fingers through mine.
“If I get to have you forever? I’m perfectly content.”
“You gave it up for me?”
“It was part of the agreement so I could move here.”
“I wish you hadn’t give up something like that for me.”
“I have no regrets Darius. Except where my actions hurt you.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” I knew that deep in my bones, even if I couldn’t really remember it.
We got quiet again, reveling in the simple joy of holding one another.
“So what now?” she asked after another few minutes..
“I know it might feel quick but…what would you think of moving in together?”
She turned to look at me over her shoulder, her smile so bright it warmed me right down to my toes.
“Really?”
“I just spent a year without you,” my arms tightened around her, “I don’t want to waste another minute.”
“Then I say hell yes.”
I chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose.
“And the French doors that connect our businesses?” she asked with an arched eyebrow.
Another memory rose up, soft and gentle.
“We talked about that, didn’t we?”
“Yep, that’s why I had them installed.”
“But…but you didn’t know if I’d remember.”
The joy in her eyes clouded a little but she kept smiling.
She was always like that, wasn’t she? The bright light against the darkness of my life…always hoping.
“I had faith,” she said after a moment. “I needed to believe that one day, I’d have you back.”
“And now you do.”
Nina turned in my arms, my cock slipping free. She squeaked as cum flowed out of her and blushed.
“I think I just ruined your couch.”
“We ruined it and I don’t give a damn. I’m going to fuck you on every surface in this place tonight so this is a good start.”
“Every surface?” she arched an eyebrow. “Even your book shelves?”
“No, but only because they’re cheap and couldn’t withstand the force.”
She giggled and a thought occurred to me.
“But the ones in the shop…now those are a different story.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Why not? In fact, the thought of fucking you on a stack of books, against the shelves…hearing them thump against the wall in time to me slamming my cock into you?”
I was biting and sucking on her throat as I spoke and she swung a leg over my hip.
“Don’t be a tease,” she challenged.
I palmed one breast, making her groan.
“We’d have to get dressed, there’s no inside stair case to the store.”
She wrapped her hand as far as she could around my ever hardening dick and started stroking and I let out an Orcish swear word.
“Then it can wait.”
“Yeah,” I turned Nina onto her back and settled between her thighs, “it can definitely wait.”
“After all,” she grinned up at me, “we’ve got the rest of our lives.”
I smiled down at her, really smiled for the first time in a long, long while.
“Yes, we do.”
Thank you for reading Sinner! If you could please leave a quick review or star rating wherever you talk about books that would be most appreciated.