3. Roxy
Roxy
Looking in the mirror of Maddy’s ensuite, you would never guess that I just ended somebody else’s life.
For some reason, I feel like it should be obvious. Like there should be blood staining my hands and evil glinting in my eyes.
It might just be that I’m standing in a billionaire’s bathroom, and in here, everything shines; but I don’t look like a killer.
I just look tired.
I just spent a good hour in the enormous shower, using Maddy’s luxury soaps and face washes. It feels wrong to be washing brain and blood with such luxury soaps.
My hair hangs damp down my back, and I’ve thrown one of my oversized rock shirts over my body. Finally leaving the bathroom, I see my favourite part of this whole place.
The bed.
Every time I visited Maddy, I’d sprint and jump on the soft cloud, enveloped in the mountain of pillows and soft sheets.
So, that’s what I do now.
And it’s just as good as I remembered. Better.
Turns out killing someone is tiring work. Immediately my body feels heavy, threatening to melt into the soft blankets and disappear completely.
Prying myself from the clutches of comfort, I turn towards the door. Feeling him, without having seen him. And surely, I’m right.
The man in the shadows. Dark, endless orbs focused on me. My breath turns shallow.
“You’re Kai, right?”
He gives the slightest dip of his chin in confirmation.
Every move is robotic. A machine wrapped in skin and tattoos. A mouthwatering machine.
“Well, you’re right to go now. I’m safe here, in this tower of diamonds and glitter,” I huff a laugh, looking around the space in awe.
So different from the grimy, rundown space I called a bedroom where I grew up.
Kai shakes his head in a soft movement.
Another huff falls out of me.
“Thought so.”
If there is one thing I know about men like Kai and Ash and Jacob, they don’t half-ass their orders.
Falling back against the plush pillows, I blink at him tiredly. “I should kill more people; I could get used to this.”
Dark humour. It’s a coping mechanism...
Yet Kai doesn’t even blink. Not a reaction twitching his features.
“It was a joke,” I murmur, rolling my eyes.
This is going to be a long night. I don’t do silences.
“Oh,” I sit upright, chewing my bottom lip. “Um, well, I haven’t told Maddy and Ash about the whole living in my office thing. So, if you could, you know...”
Of course, he doesn’t respond. But I swear I see the muscle in his jaw tick. Just once.
It brings me satisfaction. I want more.
My eyes drag down his body. Even through that shirt I can see his stomach muscles and the rounded curves of his chest.
His sleeves are so long they cover most of his hands, but swirls of ink peek from under them. And I just know they crawl all over his body. I wish I’d done them.
Flashes of him and me, dark hair and dark ink, tangled in the pristine white sheets, makes my core ache. It’s impossible for the thoughts not to sink in, when I’m watching him from here, watching me.
Dangerous. Thoughts like that are dangerous.
Why does he have to be so damn sexy?
After the night I’ve had, every other rule I’ve made regarding men like Kai slowly melt. I need a distraction. Remnants of adrenaline and terror still swirl inside me, and I feel like I’m wired.
Slowly, I peel myself off the bed. Until my feet press against the soft carpet.
With laser focus, he watches my every step. Each slow one, until I’m in front of him.
“Well, if you’re going to be here all night...” I blink up at him through my lashes.
I have to tilt my neck just to look into those dark eyes. Up close, it’s terrifying. The intensity and the coldness.
His eyes remain on mine when I press my palm to his chest, slowly sliding it down the carved muscles under his shirt. His heat and pure strength make me think that this is exactly what I need.
Just for the night.
Just something to drown out the screaming in my mind.
His heartbeat is unnaturally slow beneath my palm.
“I made this stop for someone tonight,” I whisper, forgetting for a split second that I’m standing in front of someone that isn’t Jacob.
With the feeling of life under my hands, after I made that very organ stop in someone else.
Biting my lip, I look back at Kai. “I bet you do that to people all the time...”
He doesn’t reply. He doesn’t have to. Like a statue carved from granite, he watches me with those unnervingly empty eyes.
My fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt.
“Come on, babysitter,” I tease, closing the distance between us. “Look after me.”
I’m a grade-A flirter. It’s what makes working with the men that I do, bearable.
“I’m a killer,” I purr, this time with a smirk. “I bet you’re scared.”
The slightest twitch of his lips makes me giddy.
With my hand on his chest, I push. He lets me. And I have a feeling he wouldn’t unless he wanted to.
I lead him with one slow step. Walking him backwards. His boots retreat across the soft floor until his legs meet the edge of the bed.
Something about the way he looks at me makes my pulse race. There is nothing that I can grasp, burning in his eyes. No softness. No signs of life. Just an unbearable intensity that peels my skin back and exposes every dirty secret and every dark thought.
The look sends a shiver crawling down my spine, fear and fascination making me stare back.
“You don’t have to speak,” I murmur, gripping the hem of my shirt. Slowly, I peel it up over my head before letting it fall to the ground. “Just make me feel.”
When his eyes finally let go of mine, they slide down my throat where my heart flutters like crazy. Then to my chest, heaving with forced breaths. Gliding over my tits, and my nipples that pebble under his attention.
Dipping down to my core, which flutters with need.
They slide back up to my mouth, and I wet my bottom lip with my tongue. His fingers curl into fists.
“Can you do that?”
My whisper is so soft. Barely audible in the silent room.
Without uttering a single word, his reaction is so loud.
The dip of his chin, the softest movement.
I give him one soft shove, feeling all kinds of powerful when he lowers to the bed, stretching his hard body against the covers. His predatory gaze stays on me, not wavering for a second, as I crawl over him. Me, naked and exposed. This stranger, fully clothed and unyielding.
My hands move towards his shirt, desperate to peel the material off his sinful body. But his hands are suddenly on my wrists, firm enough to stop me, gentle enough not to hurt.
I pull my hands away. Watching his face, I reach for his pants. This time he lets me. My fingers fumble with the button, rushing to pull the zipper down. He gives me a sharp inhale when I reach in and grip his hardening erection.
My mouth waters, seeing his thick, long cock, completely hard now.
Yum.
Screw foreplay.
I need him now.
Holding his gaze, I straddle his thick thighs. Clothing still covers his entire body, apart from his veiny cock resting on his stomach. I fist it, pointing it towards my core, and sink onto him.
My body hums with satisfaction.
My lips let out a lustful whimper.
His cock fills me in the most perfect way.
I impale myself on him, throwing my head back. Needing more, my hips move. Grinding and writhing on top of him. A bite of pain just spurs me on, his thick size stretching me.
Using him and taking everything I need. He lets me.
“Yes!” I gasp, eyes fluttering closed, hands skimming up my body. Reaching my breasts, I squeeze them roughly. “Kai...”
He tenses beneath me, and my eyes blink open. With my hips dancing over him, I take him in. His body is tense, carved muscles going taut. Powerful hands curl into the mattress, holding on with a death grip.
Almost as if he’s stopping himself. Holding back.
It makes me ride him faster. Harder.
Hands falling on his chest and fucking him from above. Moans fall past my lips, and I ache to kiss his soft and pillowy ones.
But that’s not what this is.
We both know that.
I’m using his body to forget.
And he’s letting me.
Only now do I realise, he’s finally stopped looking in my eyes. With the slightest flutter of his lashes, I look down to see where he is staring. Or what he is staring at.
Suddenly, I feel self-conscious. Which is crazy because it’s not because I’m stark naked. It’s the tattoo that he’s laser focused on.
My favourite.
A black heart, wrapped in barbed wire, between my tits.
One I did with tears in my eyes, hands shaking as I sat in front of a cracked mirror and etched it onto my skin.
“Kai...” I whimper.
He tenses again, eyes darting to mine.
I feel him throb inside me, and it spurs me on.
If his cock wasn't so hard, I'd almost think he wasn't into this.
But from the way he fills me so fully, and the way his arms almost shake from how hard he's clutching the sheets, something tells me he's not as in control as he'd like to be.
Every little reaction is a victory, one that makes my clit throb and my stomach clench.
I’m wild, feral, gripping his shirt as I bounce on top of him. Adrenaline courses through me and it’s the most insane aphrodisiac. That and being wrapped around the big dicked God under me.
Pleasure coils down my spine, and I continue to rock over him, doing whatever feels good. Finding my pleasure on top of him. My clit drags over his pelvis and shoots sparks of electricity through me.
Something about the way he looks at me adds to it all.
I'm spiralling, spinning out of control, fucking the very type of man I tried to run away from.
I've never had sex like this, and I'm not talking about being on top.
It's about the way I'm completely uninhibited. Doing what feels good for me, taking everything for me. Letting myself be the wild thing that I’ve pushed away for so long.
Terror is a funny thing, and makes people do stupid things, but after tonight, I’ll never see this man again.
So, I'll take what I need, what he is willing to give.
With such a pretty cock, belonging to such a pretty man, it’s a shame I won’t see him again.
Because, fuck, he is pretty.
“I want to come, Kai,” I whimper, loving the way he reacts every time I moan his name.
“Can you do that for me? Can you make me come, Kai?”
The sounds of skin slapping add to my breathless moans. His Adam's apple bobs, chest rising as he fills his lungs with oxygen.
“Please make me come, Kai...”
His eyes are bottomless and cold.
Yet they seem to sparkle alive with my words.
I'm spurred on by the way he's practically vibrating. Still, he doesn’t touch me. Doesn’t roll me over and fuck me into the mattress the way I want him to.
The way I know he can, with his sculpted, honed body.
I want him to own me.
I want him to hurt me.
My mind stutters to a halt.
You don't want that, Roxy, a small voice whispers in my head.
You can't have that.
My back arches instinctively, my head tipping back as my hair spills down my spine, the long strands skimming over the curve of my hips.
Every second on top of him draws another shiver through me, my body moving on pure needy drive, chasing the only thing capable of drowning out the chaos roaring inside my head.
For just a second, everything else disappears. There is no blood coating my hands. No terror at the loss of control. No looking over my shoulder every second of the day.
Just the feeling of my body on his, and the desperate need to feel anything except tonight.
I let my hands travel up waist, pretending that they're his.
I don't know what his hands on my skin would feel like, but I can imagine. Those fists are impossibly large, the kind that could crush men as easily as they could grip me.
My fingertips dance over my stomach, tracing the patches of ink that scatter over me from head to toe. They drift upwards, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
Because they aren’t my hands I’m picturing sliding over me.
I grab my tits, pushing them together, feeling them move as I rock over him.
Twisting my nipple sharply, I gasp.
Those hands would cause pain. Something deep inside me screams it.
I do it to the other, and I'm practically trembling on top of him.
“Hurt me, Kai,” I whisper to the imaginary version of him.
The one that's doing all the dark and depraved things I'm dreaming of. The one who gives me I need.
My fingers drag between my breasts, over my clavicle, wrapping around my throat.
Just enough that my breath labours. That pressure builds in my face.
“Punish me,” I beg, squeezing my throat.
With my trembling legs, I can barely move myself up and down over him. I'm about to detonate, about to fall apart on top of this terrifying man.
With one hand squeezing my throat, I drop the other and pinch my clit.
Pleasure explodes through my body. White-hot and blinding. Enough to fade the crimson red.
“Please me, Kai,” I whimper as I come hard.
My body spasms on top of him, fuelled by the way I feel him throb, he shudders inside me, his release pulsing.
I cry out, body jolting with sparks.
The last thing I hear is the raspiest growl. So quiet I almost miss it. But I’m mesmerised. Addicted.
Begging for more.