Chapter 12
Konstantin
I know I shouldn’t be here.
It was absolutely wrong.
Anyone could catch me, and in a moment’s notice I’d be back to prison.
Yet I could care less.
All to get a look at her. A glimpse to satisfy the gnawing sensation in my chest that hurt whenever she was away for too long.
It was a foreign, unknown sentiment. Never experienced before.
Truly because no one, no woman, would have stuck around long enough if I didn’t have money or sex to give.
Though it wasn’t their fault, romantic relationships were never a priority or a need, so there was no need to pursue one woman.
Hence why I prefer to have subs to satisfy my physical appetite.
Two or three at a time for a couple of years until I moved onto the next until I landed in prison.
Now, I’ve been celibate for over seven years; shit, I’m basically a born-again virgin.
Shit, it felt like I was waiting to get my cherry popped.
That’s why when she pressed herself against me, mumbling my name in her dream several nights ago, the only response was to take a cold shower while I jerked off to the images of Blair in my fucked-up head.
I didn’t know why she dreamed of me, but whatever it was, I knew something inside her connected with a part of me, like my soul with hers. She just didn’t want to acknowledge it, and I had been ignoring it.
But not anymore.
Especially not after she had taken care of me every day since I escaped the hospital and then almost killed for me, and fuck, after that tender, soft, nearly nonexistent kiss, she made me weak. My world revolved around her, and now she was my world.
That’s why I found myself standing on the second-floor gallery wanting from above in the shadows, leaning against the wall to not make myself so visible since the section was closed off to the public and looked more like food storage, as it contained bags of rice, flour, and sugar.
Trying my best to look inconspicuous in a black shirt, dark denim jeans, and boots I borrowed from some donation.
Below me, the mass was in full swing as the choir sang Ave Maria, and people stood retrospectively silent, looking on at the holy procession as the priest blessed the communion, kissing the cross as he laid it on the altar and continued handing out the bread.
The moonlight trickled through the stained-glass windows with depictions of saints, and the candelabras illuminated the enclosed space with a golden hue as candles burned with a faint sandalwood scent.
The rows of pews were filled by every local man, woman, and child who had missed the morning or noon mass.
However, all the figures and faces began to blur, becoming insignificant hazy orbs, while my eyes trailed over to the one person who mattered the most. The one who made this hell feel like heaven.
Blair, who was standing at the side of the altar in her modest black laced dress and white veil, looked like a saint. Truly with her pale skin, rosy lips, and troubled eyes as she stood in a line with the other nuns.
Her lips moved subtly, repeating the words of the Gospel as she glanced around nervously.
She was a sight for sore eyes.
Something hard constricted roughly beneath my ribs; it made it hard to even breathe. Naturally, I had not been a very nervous man, but she made me feel a mess.
Fuck.
Why her?
Out of all women, this woman? Damn.
You know why. She’s everything we never knew we needed.
No such thing is needed. She’s a want. We can live without her.
Denial.
I’m just taking into consideration this isn’t realistic. She’s a nun.
A nun who hasn’t taken her final vows. She’s fair game. There’s still a chance.
To what?
Conquer her.
Absolutely not. This wasn’t the plan. The plan was focused on us living and regaining the life we had. Not take more than we can have.
Why not? We can give her a life full of diamonds, gold, and luxury. What would she be missing out on?
But Blair isn’t that type of woman. If she came to a convent and gave everything up in exchange, including the finer things in life, what makes you think money can buy her? Plus, I can’t just take her away.
Blair might not have said it with her words, but the silent guilt in her distant gaze consumed her. There was a reason— a profound one— for why she came. So I wouldn’t just come into her life and rip away everything she worked so hard for.
Even if I wanted to.
Even if I were a selfless bastard, she would only hate me for it.
And I’d rather she never love me than infinitely hate me for the rest of her life.
We could technically make her fall in love until she couldn’t live without us.
No.
But we could kidnap her—
Dya, no. If, and a big “if,” she has to choose to come. She would have to choose us.
Ugh, you’re no fun. Too emotional. Too compromising.
Enough! Go back to your den.
Fuck you, Konstantin! The next time you try to contain me, I’ll unravel.
I rolled my eyes, leaving my alter with his threats.
Refocusing my attention back on Blair, her focus was unbroken as the intensity of her concentration made a line furrow between her brows and bit her lower, lush pink lip.
My hand itched; the need to run my thumb across her lip increased tenfold. To feel the flushed heat of her skin.
I also wanted to bite that lip.
She was a distraction, unwarranted, yet so pleasant.
Damn, if only she could get as lost in me as I was in her. To become the object of her focus, forever and always.
And if I could naturally be, then I would steal whatever time I had left with her.
Glancing over the bags of rice, an idea conjured in my mind as I bent down, unsealed a bag, and grabbed a handful of grains.
Standing back on my feet, I gathered a few strands, using my precise aim, and threw them at her.
The first time, she didn’t even blink.
The second she felt something as she looked at her shirt, creasing her brow before shaking it off after a second.
The third time, she definitely felt a touch as she whipped her head back and forth and then back at the crowd for the culprit.
It was the fourth time when she whispered, “What the hell?” as I softly whistled trying to clue her in. The melody fit in nearly seamlessly with the music of the choir, but my kotyonok was smarter than that and could sense a distraction.
It took a moment before she lifted her gaze and met mine. Her eyes widened as she tried to assimilate my existence outside that confinement room.
“Meet me outside.” I mouthed.
The existential need to be near her or at least in her vicinity ran deep within my pulsating veins.
She shook her head, yet a riveting spark ran through her eyes at the idea.
“Now.”
“No.”
“Change your clothes too.” I commanded, signaling with my fingers as I picked at my own shirt.
Her brows joined together rapidly and furiously. “Are you crazy? No,” she denied me again, but she really didn’t have a choice.
“I’ll be waiting.” I turned my back and headed towards the exit, taking the secret back way.
Stable on my feet, making my way through the dim torch-lit hallways of the convent, making sure to use this time to leave the premises momentarily.
It was the only way to get away right beneath everyone’s noses until the night breeze drafted through my shirt straight to my chest.
The cooling sensation was a relief to my blazing ache.
Not wasting any time— needed it to be perfect— all for her.
Taking a glance at the silver Rolex on my wrist to calculate how long it would take me to get the setting prepared and how long it would take Blair to get here. I didn’t want to ruin any part of the surprise. The night was a perfect disguise to occult what I hid in the lake.
Some thirty minutes later, I treaded back to the edge of the forest right when the mass was ending and the night festivities were just beginning as townsfolk began to pour out of the church bit by bit. Rising anticipation like a building fire that could warm a village.
Where is she?
Give her a moment. She’ll be here.
Yeah, right. We should have gotten with my plan and just dragged her out of the church.
Yeah, then our asses would be dragged to jail, incriminating her as well, and we would never be able to see her again.
He went radio silent.
At least we would be in jail together.
“God, just shut up.” I restlessly sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. My head spun at his delusions. I swear he had no rationale; that’s why I was in charge. Imagine the shithole we would be in if he had control.
The world would be much more terrifying.
Suddenly, the sound of a branch splitting rumbled in the distance.
“Kon! Kon!” Blair sweetly called. “Konstantin!”
My head snapped towards the petite shadowy figure that lingered closer.
“Miss me, kotyonok?”
A shiver went through her shoulders as she turned around; her eyes landed on me. “Ah, you!” She pointed her finger, holding her tongue as she groaned.
“I knew you would come.”
“You despicable bastard! Who throws rice in a church?” She was flabbergasted. “You don’t know what kind of BS excuse I had to tell Mother Superior, and that woman already hates my ass, so if anything happens, just know it’s your fault.”
Unknowingly a smirk found its way on my lips.
Her bewildered expression was amusing to feast my eyes upon.
Running my gaze over her, noticing the change of clothes into tight low-rise blue jeans that hugged her hips, a long-sleeve gray shirt with a lacy white hem in the front matched with Converse sneakers.
Her loose locks framed her pale, glowy face.
In this small town, she wasn’t just a run-of-the-mill girl; she was the girl who you grew up with as your neighbor and fell in love with instantly.
Because she was unforgettable. Because she was truly a cataclysm.
Blair was the woman who turned heads wherever she went and made hearts break when she left.
“Ugh! Seriously, you're worse than my child,” she groaned.
My ears caught on to two keywords. “Your child?”