Chapter 12 #3
One corner of my lips lifted. “Glad you like it, kotyonok.”
“More than like it, I love it,” she confessed, the moonlight playing against the blush on her cheeks. “How did you find it?”
My eyes broke from hers, and I surveyed the secret spot, finding nature an exquisite thing to enjoy, especially with the right company. “You didn’t think I would be pent up in that room of yours all day, did you?”
She uttered a low laugh while shaking her head, knowing I was capable of that and much worse.
“Well, after being locked up for years, it makes me uneasy to be anywhere for too long. So after a long walk one day, I stumbled across this place.”
“Mmhm, I can understand that. See, before coming here, I was a backpack traveling the world. Just angsty to be everywhere.”
“You don’t seem any different now.”
“I never stayed anywhere for too long. I long to be free.”
The intrinsic question begged to be asked, as she was in one of the most restricted places in the world. I let go of the paddles, pausing steering to rub my chin. “So why did you choose to be in a convent and live the rest of your days as a nun?”
The question cut the thread of trust, and in an instant we returned to being the strangers of that rainy night.
Blair’s body tensed as she drew her arms to hug herself. Her eyes far in the distance, pain flashed in them as it looked like she was recalling something so dark and traumatic. Something vulnerable. There was another layer to it. A look of someone who regretted what they had done.
I softly called out. “Kotyonok?”
“Look, I made a mistake, and because of that, this is my punishment.” She dug her fingers into her ribs, tighter and tighter until it looked like she was hurting herself.
“Punishment? Why would this be a punishment?”
“I don’t owe you or anyone any explanations. I decided this, so it’s my cross to carry.”
I shook my head, sensing she wasn’t understanding my approach. “You’re so stubborn.”
“I’m not.”
“If you wouldn’t be so prideful as to ask for help, then you could get out of the situation.”
“Look, you don’t know me. You don’t understand what I’ve gone through to get here. My nightmares. My pain. My suffering. You know none of it.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“Why?”
Because…
“Why would I?”
I want to know more.
“Why do you even care?”
I don’t know. All I know is you’re all that matters.
My jaw tightened as Dya’s and my voice interlapped, inflicting a never-ending confusion I hadn’t been able to solve since the day we met. There were no clear words to express the sentiment; it wasn’t my forte, but her incessant will to push me away drove me to further despair.
“Why—” Only the singular word left her mouth when her stomach rumbled loudly, interrupting her.
She wrapped her arms around her stomach as she looked away, embarrassed.
I sighed, positioning the oars, which stopped the movement of the gondola, as I reached underneath my seat. Fetching a large blanket that I tossed to her and revealed a small wooden basket. I opened the top, and on a wooden plate, there was a fair share of meat, cheese, bread, fruit, and wine.
“Here,” I pointed out. “Eat.”
She glanced at me unyieldingly before unfolding her arms and retrieving the piece of bread. “Thanks.”
“Don’t think because you’re eating, you’re going to derail the conversation.”
She munched on a bite. “I am beyond salvation. And even if I were safe from this, what would I do?”
“Marry me?” I proposed without hesitation and with my full heart’s desire. If she wanted to escape this place and have a second chance to be free— to be happy— she could have it with me.
“Ha! Don’t bluff,” she huffed, reaching for the charcuterie board.
“I’m not.” The solemnity in my answer made a breath escape her lips. “My words are promises. I never break them.”
I stared at her as the column of her throat shifted.
The intensity in our vicinity made the world feel like a cluster. It was so small and hot that the only comfort would be giving into each other.
She cleared her throat, regaining her composure.
“If—and that’s a big if— we were ever to happen,” she signaled her fingers between the two of us, popping a grape in her mouth as she took her time to chew it.
Hassling my impatience, she said, “You would need to take me on at least a thousand dates.”
My brows drew up at the extensive number. “Thousand? Why such a specific number?”
“Because…” She paused before she shrugged her shoulders, her thoughts visibly passing through her eyes.
“No guy would go through the hassle of going on a thousand dates. Hell, if you’re still around me after a thousand hours of running your ear off.
I might just think you really are obsessed with me.
” Her lips split into a smile as she popped another grape into her mouth.
“You think you’re really that irresistible?” The question was rhetorical. The answer was obvious. Only a blind man wouldn’t surrender weakly to her charm. She was a debilitating weakness. Yet here I was playing hard to get just to get her an inch interested.
“Why else would I be here?” She boosted, flipping her hair over her shoulder like a diva as she winked. “I know I am that irresistible.”
“You’re… something else.”
There was a specific feat about Blair I couldn’t pinpoint. She dragged me close enough to taste yet kept me far away enough to tease.
“Mmhm, enough about me though. What about you?”
I halted for a second, thrown off guard. “What about me?”
“Well, besides being Konstantin Volkov, former Bratva enforcer and current convict, there has to be more to you. Or is that all you have to offer?” She inquisitively investigated, drawing a brow up.
A low amused noise escaped me; the memories that I had once longed to forget were stapled in my memories forever. “Well, every devil has his past, so where do I begin?”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s not necessary.”
“Ah, but because you’re asking, I’ll do so.”
A tight shiver went through her shoulders as she darted her eyes away for a second and back to me.
One second passed when a dooming uncertainty fell in the pit of my chest. My mouth went dry, realizing I never had the chance to speak about myself.
To tell my story. To plead to a jury about the life I’d been given and stripped of— a power held over me all my life—and silenced to never say.
I burned every secret and added them to the nightmares in my head.
Would she even care if I told her?
Would she believe me?
Would she believe us?
There was no one else in this world I’d confided in. Yet, if she would become my world, I wouldn’t need anyone else. Just her. Only her.
Alright, here goes nothing.