Is it a choice though? #2
I don't know what that's about, but right now I can't make myself care either. My thoughts are spinning and my emotions are the gale force winds keeping them that way.
"You do have a choice," Mick argues. "Both options have consequences.
You decide which ones you can live with.
It might help you to know that unsanctioned murder comes with a death sentence in our mob as well.
Now that he's given you his promise, Wraith will kill Kenneth to protect you and your girls. "
"Not against your orders." I turn my head and find Kieran looking down at me, not at his boss. "You wouldn't, would you?" I ask him.
"Yes."
"But isn't that against your mob code, or something?"
"I made you a promise."
"But you promised to obey orders too." I'm guessing, but that's how it works, isn't it?
"His promise to me is negated if I put his family at risk and Kieran has claimed you and your girls as his family."
"That's absurd! He can't just claim us as his family."
"Not without my approval, but I already gave it."
"But that's—"
"The mob," Kara says, cutting me off. "My husband's word is law."
"But he's the underboss, not the boss. Isn't it your dad's word that's law?" Maybe I can reason with Brogan Shaughnessy.
"My father won't undermine Mick's authority by disagreeing."
"Unless it comes to killing children." Would the underboss really do that?
"There are very few exceptions, but yes there are some."
That this is not one of them apparently goes without saying.
"And if Kieran killed Kenneth Shaugnessy without your sanction, you would kill him, even though you're the one who approved him claiming us as his family?" That's so not fair.
"Aye."
"But why?"
"We need to find out how deep Kenneth's traitorous rot has spread. Killing him would make that a lot harder than it needs to be."
"So, let me get this straight. First, you tell me that I have to marry Kieran to protect myself and my daughters. Then you tell me that if I don't marry him and he does what he well…does to protect us, then you'll kill him?"
"Aye," Mick says again, unperturbed.
So, I have to marry Kieran to protect his stupid life too. "You're not giving me any choices, no matter what you say."
Mick shrugs. "I will keep my family safe, whatever it takes."
Even if me and my girls are collateral damage. I get his unspoken message. Mick Fitzgerald is offering protection but only under his terms and if I refuse them, I'm on my own.
I can no more stifle the sound of distress I make as that sinks in fully than I can the atavistic tremor of fear that goes through me.
Without warning, Kieran lifts me and sets me on his thighs with my legs off to one side, but my body mostly turned toward him.
I yelp in shock, but I don't try to move. Why don't I try to move?
"You are a strong and compassionate woman. I knew another woman like you a long time ago, but I was too weak to protect her. I am not too weak to protect you."
My initial shock at what is Kieran's version of word vomit quickly gives way to disbelief. I can't imagine this man as weak and he's wrong about me being strong.
"I don't know where you get my character assessment from," I grumble. "Would a strong woman have tolerated everything I have from Kenneth Shaughnessy and his family for the past few years?"
"Only a strong woman could," Kieran asserts.
"I didn't feel strong. I felt desperate." And afraid.
So freakin' afraid every day since Kenneth Shaughnessy told me my husband was a traitor and had been tortured and murdered because of it.
Ever since he claimed the same thing would happen to me if I didn't prove my loyalty to the mob.
"A weaker woman with less integrity would pick none of the above and go to Shaughnessy looking for a payoff to get out of town, tipping him off to our awareness of his plans."
"That other woman would end up dead though," Mick inserts.
Dread skates along my nerve endings, sending a shiver through me. I don't need the warning. I'm fully aware that betraying them to Kenneth would end in my death. Having the underboss say it in that dispassionate, but implacable tone only underlines how inevitable that reality would be.
Because Kenneth Shaughnessy didn't lie about one thing. Mick Fitzgerald tortured and killed my husband. And he won't hesitate to kill me too.
"If I were to marry Kieran…" Did I really just say that? "Then won't Kenneth know I already told Kieran everything? That you've figured out his plan?"
"Not if you convince everyone that you and Kieran have been in a secret relationship for a while," Mick replies. "If you've been dating and I haven't come for him already, Kenneth will assume you haven't told Wraith anything that might give his plan away."
Wheels within wheels. "Wow, Machiavelli had nothing on you."
And how am I supposed to convince everyone that Wraith and I have been seeing each other? My mom isn't going to believe that!
But if she doesn't, if she makes a stink, she could be the next person in the underboss's crosshairs.
"There are none wilier than the Irish." It should be a joke, but it's obvious Mick is dead serious about that.
"It will make it easier for your mother and daughters to accept too," Kara says, confirming my assumption that I can't tell my family the truth.
"Even though Fitz told Sadie that arranged marriages are common in the mob, there's no reason for her to believe this one didn't come about because of the secret relationship you and Wraith are in. "
And I won't have to ask my daughter to lie to her sisters and grandmother. I'll be doing enough of that for all of us.
"Have you considered that if I marry Kieran, I'd hardly be the easy patsy you've asserted he wants me to be?" I ask. "It could precipitate action on Kenneth's part."
"I'm counting on it." There's a trace of emotion in Mick's voice now: anticipation.
Kara adds, "Kenneth has assigned you a part in his little drama and he's going to make sure you play it."
But what she's not saying is that I now have a role to play in her husband's plan too. I could maybe get away from Kenneth Shaughnessy, but there's no way I'm escaping Mick Fitzgerald.
Mick asks Kieran, "Was anything said today at the Shaughnessy house that would negate the fake relationship scenario?"
Kieran takes a few seconds to think before shaking his head. I could have said no right off. Mainly because Kieran barely said anything.
"What's it going to be?" Mick asks.
I turn my head to meet my mobster protector's eyes because he's the one who deserves my answer, even if he hasn't asked me the important question.
"I'll marry you Kieran Lleshi, but God help you because the naively trusting and accommodating wife I once was died the day I learned the truth about Troy. "
I might not have any choice about marrying this man if I want to keep my family, not to mention him (And how did that become my problem?) safe, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a doormat for him or his mob buddies.
That version of áine is dead too, killed by the realization that acceding to Kenneth Shaughnessy's demands put me and my girls at risk again, when I thought I was doing the opposite.