21. Mason
MASON
I t’s difficult to confront a person when they have a restraining order against you.
Regardless, I consider driving by Liam’s house, knocking on the door and beating the fucking piss out of him all over again.
A week has passed, and not a damn thing has changed.
The air is stagnant and I don’t know what to do but I won’t sit and wait for the next onslaught.
The once sought-after developer and bachelor has taken a fall.
The excerpt of the news article lays above my mug shot. At least I knew it was coming; the journalist was decent enough to give me a heads-up. Evan could only do so much to hold me back from Liam, but he worked as much magic as he could with the press.
It’s only a mug shot. No charges pressed and nothing on my record, but the city has a way of talking.
The most shocking thing in the article is the information concerning Liam.
Apparently he has a criminal record from college for assault and battery, and attempts at much worse.
Divorce papers have already been signed between him and his now ex-wife, and the article compares that to the supposed breakup between Jules and myself.
I’m not sure what all is true concerning Liam. I’m grateful the spotlight is on him in the article. The article got my father and Jules all worked up … I can only imagine how they’d react if they knew about the letter that arrived today too.
The paper in my hands rustles in the quiet office as I read it again.
I was mad at you for what you did, and I’m sorry.
It’s not what you think.
The gentleman was only there to find something, but I found it elsewhere.
I’m sorry for what I’ve done.
And I forgive you for what you did; I hope you can forgive me as well.
Sincerely,
X
It’s the same feminine writing as the other note. This one sits in my wallet, and it’s been here for hours, refusing to allow me to think of anything else.
Whoever it was is damn good at concealing their identity. Not a single fingerprint on the envelope or the paper itself. The security footage shows it was delivered by the mailman, but has no return address. I’m lost, and I have absolutely no leads.
I finally crumple the letter, hating it and the fucker more now than ever. The hopeless feeling weighs down on me. I can’t fix it. I can’t fix anything without knowing who to blame.
They fucked with me, ruined something so precious and perfect, tearing Jules from my life. And now they’re just backing away? They wanted to destroy me. Mission fucking accomplished.
I don’t know who to trust anymore or what to live for.
My only hope is to pretend it’s all right.
To move through life like nothing’s wrong, and pray that Jules can one day do the same.
The rough edges of the letter rub harshly against my skin as I close my eyes and tighten my fist around it. It’s never going to happen.
She’s never going to forgive me.
She loves me deep down. She has to. I can’t feel this strongly about her without her feeling something for me.
Tossing the letter into the small trash can beneath my desk, I rise from my seat and wonder about my father, about Liam’s wife and how she plays into this. But this game is so much different than any other I’ve played before.
Too many pieces and moving parts, but I can’t see a damn one of them.
It feels a lot like giving up. A lot like losing. But sometimes you need to keep going through the motions, stay on your guard, and just let them think you’ve lost.
I flick off the light switch as I open the office door and stand there in the hall, contemplating where Jules is most likely to be in the house.
My hand tightens on the doorknob, as I wonder if she’ll talk to me like we used to.
If she’ll let me hold her. If those moments when she forgets and looks at me with those gorgeous blue eyes will last longer than seconds tonight.
I’ll leave it be, if only to let them think I’ve lost and given up. I nod my head as I leave; that’s what I tell myself.
As I shut the door behind me, it feels like I truly have lost everything already.