18. Frannie
I don’t knowhow I didn’t see that coming. As I navigated Evan’s big truck into the parking lot of the place where my dad lived, I replayed the events of the evening for the umpteenth time. We’d been friends since grade school. Not just friends, but best friends. He knew everything about me, and I thought I knew everything about him. His family had treated me like one of their own, and I’d let them down.
I rested my head on the center of the steering wheel. Nothing about this evening made sense. I’d been fooling myself to think Andrew and I would make a decent match. Going out on a limb for him wasn’t worth risking my friendship with Evan. I picked up the container of food he’d given me for my dad and entered the facility. At least one good thing could come out of today—I could give my dad his damn pot roast.
Even though I had a key, I rang the doorbell of his apartment. The past few times I’d been over to visit, he’d been totally normal, but there was always a chance he might be confused when I came over and not recognize me. I wasn’t sure what I would do when that started to happen on a regular basis. He was the only family I had left, and the idea of him slipping away from me wasn’t something I could handle.
“Hey, Dad. I brought that pot roast over that I promised you.”
He smiled and opened the door wide. “Frannie, I’ve been waiting for you. Come in, sweetheart.”
Grateful he appeared to be with me, I stepped into his apartment and buried myself against his chest. The spicy scent of his aftershave surrounded me.
“I’m happy to see you, too.” He chuckled and hugged me tight. “Had a rough day?”
I released my hold on him and brushed the threat of tears from under my eyes. “You could say that.”
“Well, I’ve got an ear you can bend and a shoulder you can cry on if you need it.” Dad took the plastic container to the tiny kitchen and pulled a plate down from the cabinet. “Did you eat already, or would you like me to fix you a plate, too?”
My stomach was too knotted up to try to digest any food. “I’m good. Go ahead and eat.”
He puttered around the kitchen, and I couldn’t help but think how different things were now that Mom was gone and Dad was living somewhere all alone. Growing up, the kitchen had been the center of our home. My mother had a pan for everything, and there was always something in the oven or bubbling away on the stove. I loved to cook, but hadn’t inherited her natural talent. Someday I hoped to have a kitchen like hers, though. Even if I couldn’t recreate the comfort food she served, at least I’d be able to fill it with the same kind of love.
Mrs. Bishop’s kitchen felt the same way. For a little while tonight, before the announcement about Andrew and me threw a huge wrench in the evening, I’d felt the same sense of comfort with Evan’s family as I had growing up. I hadn’t felt that inner peace in so long that I’d forgotten how much I needed it. It seemed like my own family was falling apart, and I’d hoped I’d still be welcome in theirs. Now I didn’t know what the future would look like.
“Can I get you something to drink? I’ve got water, orange juice, or a couple of ginger ales.” Dad opened the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of filtered water. “If you want something a little spicier, I won a bottle of whiskey off one of the guys playing poker the other day.”
“They let you gamble around here?” I teased. Dad had always enjoyed his monthly poker games with his friends. I was happy to know he’d found some new people to play with.
“What they don’t know doesn’t hurt them, right?” He set a glass of water down on the small round table where he ate most of his meals. “It’s from Devil’s Dance. You want a nip?”
“No, I’m okay.” I couldn’t get away from Evan Bishop even if I tried. Evidence of his family’s influence on the town was everywhere I looked, even in my dad’s kitchen.
I joined him at the table to keep him company while he ate.
“So, you had dinner with the Bishops tonight? How’s Evan doing?” Dad stabbed a piece of the tender meat with his fork. His eyes closed as he slipped the fork into his mouth. The man had always enjoyed good food and had been spoiled by my mother.
I didn’t want to talk about the Bishops, so I tried to skip right over that part of the conversation. “He’s fine. Tell me about these poker friends of yours.”
“That’s good pot roast, Frannie. Please give Mrs. Bishop my best when you see her again. Reminds me of your mom’s Sunday dinners. I always enjoyed them the most when it was just the three of us.”
“I miss her, too, Dad.” My gaze shifted to the far wall where we’d hung the pictures that used to decorate the family room of my childhood home. There were photos of my parents’ wedding, baby pictures of me, memories captured of family vacations, school photos, and even a few shots including Evan. He was everywhere, so much a part of my life that I couldn’t imagine what it would be like without him.
“I heard you’ve been seeing a boy in town. How’s that going?”
“What?” The question jerked my mind back from wandering. “Where did you hear that?”
“News travels, sweetheart. Especially in a town the size of Beaver Bluff. You’d better be careful, though. I heard he’s a Stewart. Is Evan okay with you dating someone with that last name?” Dad had no idea the kind of chaos he was stirring up inside me with his questions.
“Yes, Evan knows. He and Andrew actually met last night.” Had it only been last night when I’d introduced the two of them in Evan’s living room? So much had happened since then. It felt like months had passed, not just hours.
Dad chuckled. “I bet that was an interesting exchange. How did that come about?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I hadn’t told my dad I’d moved in with Evan, though I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d heard the news through the gossip grapevine he apparently had access to. “Andrew’s not technically a Devil’s Dance Stewart. He grew up in Charlotte and decided to move closer to family a few months ago. I think you’d like him.”
“Any potential there? You know I really want to be able to walk you down the aisle while I still remember who the hell you are, don’t you?”
“I know, Dad.” I set my hand on his arm, and the weight of the situation pressed down on me. Every part of me wanted to give him that experience because I knew how much it meant to him.
He’d been talking about it for my entire life. My mom used to tell him to not put that kind of pressure on me. She’d pull me aside and say that she and my dad loved me and just wanted me to be happy, whether that involved marriage, staying single, or however else I chose to live my life. With her gone, I wanted to be able to share that with him. Andrew just didn’t feel like the right person.
Dad finished his dinner and broke out the Scrabble board. With nothing waiting for me at Evan’s place but a conversation I wasn’t ready to have, I gladly stuck around for a two-hour battle. He cinched the win by playing “EXTRAORDINARY” and hitting a triple letter square and a double word score. By the time I hugged him goodnight and promised to stop by after work in a few days, it was almost midnight.
The last communication I’d had with Evan had been a text a couple of hours ago saying he’d fed Pete the Dog dinner when he got home and was heading to bed. I hoped he’d be asleep when I got back, or at least in his room with the door closed. I didn’t know what I wanted to say to him. I needed time to process my thoughts before I’d be ready to talk. The thought of losing him pulled at feelings I’d bottled up inside and denied for so long that even now, I questioned whether they’d ever existed.
Pete the Dog greeted me when I walked into the house. I could hear the TV in Evan’s room and was grateful he didn’t come out when he heard the front door close.
I got ready for bed and stood in the hallway, wishing I had the right words to go to him and make everything right between us again. Instead, I let the dog out once more, then hid in my room. I even set my alarm an hour early, thinking I’d leave for work before Evan got up in the morning. I had things to get caught up on and having the office to myself for a little while before the other staff arrived would start the day off right. It had nothing to do with not wanting to see Evan in the morning.
Nothing at all.