15. ZARA
ZARA
I’d fallen into a deep sleep almost as soon as I’d landed back in my body, not even having the energy to get up and clean my teeth or go to the loo, let alone try again to contact Seth.
So when I got up the next morning and looked in the mirror, I was shocked to see that I was wearing a bubble-gum pink cat collar complete with a little silver bell. A ‘gift’ from Morpheus presumably.
It certainly explained why I’d been getting some odd looks last night when we were walking around Rome.
At the time I’d put it down to other women – and more than a few men – being jealous of me, because however much I adored Seth, there was no denying that Morpheus was far from lacking in the looks department too.
I couldn’t find it in my heart to be annoyed with him for the collar though.
I’d chosen last night’s outfit with the express purpose of winding him up, so I couldn’t really complain too loudly if he chose to retaliate.
And at least he hadn’t made me spend the entire night in that hideous pink dress.
Even so, I wasn’t going to cave so easily to his demand that sickly pink was now my ‘uniform’.
“That doesn’t count, Mathitevómenos,” Nero said the moment I materialised in front of him that night. The twinkle in his eyes belied the stern tone and I affected an innocent look.
“Don’t you like it, boss? I thought it was quite inventive.
” After a lot of thought, I’d taken the pink kitty collar and attached it to a clutch bag, turning it into a carrying strap.
I’d dressed a lot more conservatively tonight, plumping for black leggings and a purple sweater dress teamed up with a pair of suede slouch boots.
“In that case, I’ll expect you to be carrying it everywhere with you tonight, no putting it down for even a moment. Or I could adapt something for you if you’d like.”
“No need,” I said with a smirk. “I had a feeling you might be difficult, so…” I toed off one of my boots to reveal a pink sock. “Got it covered.”
He let out a shout of laughter and shook his head. “I should have known you’d come up with something like that. Well played. I hope you haven’t eaten yet by the way. I forgot to mention I’d feed you.”
He looked adorably uncertain, and even if I had eaten I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to disappoint him by saying so, but I’d spent a lot of the day napping, and I hadn’t even given a thought to food since the sandwich I’d made at lunchtime.
“I haven’t eaten,” I admitted. “But is it even possible to eat when I’m not really here?”
“I thought we covered that yesterday,” he said, “but if it bothers you I can bring your body here too. It wouldn’t be the first time.
” I felt a pang of sadness when I remembered the way Seth had freaked out that time Morpheus had stolen me away from our bed.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. ”
“You didn’t. I just, it’s… I miss him so much.
” I felt the fragile barriers I’d erected around my emotions getting ready to crumble and forced myself to think about something else.
Anything else. “So what’s for dinner?” I said as brightly as I could, focusing on the only other thing I could think of and hoping he’d take the hint that the subject was closed. No such luck.
“Never mind about dinner, Zara. It’s okay to miss Seth and it’s okay to be sad. It’s also okay to be angry but what’s not okay is locking your emotions away and pretending they don’t exist. It’s unhealthy and it’s bound to catch up with you in the end.”
“Yes, I expect it will,” I said, “but it’s the only way I’m managing to function at the moment. So please don’t try and tell me I’m doing it all wrong, because it’s the only way I can do it right now.”
He gave me a long, assessing stare before he tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow and started walking me somewhere, presumably to wherever dinner was.
“I visited Seth the night before you unlocked the Prophecy. Did he tell you that?” He glanced down at me, and I nodded.
“It was one of the last messages I’d have wanted to deliver, but at the time I had no choice.
If I’d known then what we know now, I probably wouldn’t have agreed to get involved.
But it did at least offer a little hope. ”
“What it said about our destinies following different paths for a time you mean. Do you think that was true?”
“I believe so. Of course, there is always an element of free will when it comes to deciding how we will act, or react, in any situation.” He stopped outside an ornate black door patterned with gold glyphs and sigils, opening it and ushering me inside. “Come and sit down.”
Once we were seated at one end of a long, black marble table, he lifted the domes covering several platters to reveal a ridiculous amount of food.
“Either you’re used to entertaining a lot more people, or you have a very big appetite,” I said. “There’s enough food here to feed at least a dozen people, not just the two of us.”
“I’m not used to entertaining at all. You’re my first ever dinner guest. You should feel flattered, Mathitevómenos.”
He started heaping food on both our plates as he spoke and I didn’t know whether it was annoying that he was arbitrarily choosing my food for me or endearing that he cared enough to do it.
“Getting back to our earlier conversation though,” he continued.
“The Prophecy is complicated. There’s no denying that it took on a life of its own over time, but whether or not it was a true prophecy to begin with is very much open for debate.
However, Seth exercised his free will both when he played his part in unlocking it, and when he agreed to visit the Underworld, and that’s something that can’t be undone now. He’ll have to see it through.”
“I think he wanted to go there,” I admitted. “He saw something in Lucien that made him want to try and help him.”
“And he may well be right. Seth is no fool. He’s Athena’s son as much as his father’s and she raised him well – despite what he might have to say about it.
Negotiating to visit the Underworld for six months was a smart move.
And if everything I’ve been hearing is true, it may not even be Lucien’s plan to have him take his place.
From what I’ve gathered, he wants the gate opened, not guarded. ”
“You seem to know an awful lot about it.” None of what he’d just said was common knowledge.
“Athena came to see me,” he admitted. “She wanted to know if I could pass messages to Seth while he’s in the Underworld.”
My heart skipped a beat then did double time for a few seconds. How had I not thought of that myself?
“And can you?” I asked breathlessly. “Could you visit him in his dreams?” I’d already tried again myself this afternoon, hoping that maybe this time it would be night there and he’d be sleeping, but I still hadn’t been able to find him.
A look of pity crossed his face. “I did attempt to, but the Underworld isn’t a realm of our creation, so I have no power there.
You have a very strong connection to him through your bond, so it’s possible you could get through, but to be honest I very much doubt it.
And even trying wouldn’t be without its risks.
If you did get in, you might get trapped, and there wouldn’t be anything I could do to get you out again.
I’m not going to tell you not to try, but I hope you won’t, Zara.
I’m growing rather fond of my new apprentice, and I’d hate to lose her now. ”
“I already tried,” I admitted. “But I couldn’t find him. I was hoping it was because he was awake, so I can’t promise I won’t try again.” I wasn’t going to lie to him about it after he’d zapped me for doing just that a few days ago. “But I can promise to remember the risks before I do.”
“I suppose, under the circumstances, that’s the best I can expect. Now eat your dinner before it gets cold.”
“So how often do you actually go out on jobs? And be honest,” I said as I dug my fork into a piece of the sweet and sour chicken that he’d heaped on my plate, together with some kind of roasted meat, a mountain of pasta and some pickled cabbage of all things.
A bit of a strange combination but I was too polite to mention it, especially if I really was his first ever dinner guest.
“Honestly?” he said, looking a bit abashed, “not that often at all. Maybe once or twice a week.”
“So why did you try and insist on me working five nights a week then? In fact, why do you need an apprentice at all?” It was glaringly obvious that he didn’t need me.
“I just thought it would be prudent to have backup if an urgent job comes up and I’m unwell or something.”
I snorted. “You’re a god. It’s not like you’re going to come down with seasonal flu.
But I suppose I can see why you’d want to know you’ve got backup if you need it,” I added, seeing he was starting to look uncomfortable at the direction our conversation was taking.
My suspicion that it was company he needed, not help, was stronger than ever now, but honestly that suited me just fine because he wasn’t the only one in need of company right now.
“You still haven’t told me why Zeus takes such an interest in mortal goings on,” I said, smiling to myself when he relaxed once he realised I’d finished questioning him about the validity of my role.
“I haven’t, have I? To be honest I thought you might have figured it out for yourself by now. It all comes down to familial obligation.” I looked at him blankly until he took pity on me.
“Remember what I told you when we first met, about how some mortals are more the sons and daughters of the gods than others?”
Oh! Now I got it. “So the people you visit are demigods? Zeus’s children?”
“Hardly. Just descendants many generations removed. But blood is blood, the sense of responsibility continues. Why do you say Zeus’s children though?”