35. ZARA #2
“So what are you saying?”
“What I’m saying,” he spoke with an exaggerated patience that made me want to pummel him again, but the vase was empty and I wasn’t strong enough to draw any water from another room, “is that the need for someone to guard the gateway still exists. So it’s either Seth or Luci.
It should be Seth of course, that’s always been his destiny, but to be fair about it, we’ve said they can make the choice between themselves.
But if it is Seth, he’ll be crowned king before Luci is allowed to leave, just in case he decides to go back on his word. ”
“Isn’t going back on your word your role?” I snapped without thinking.
“I never gave my word, kitten.” His tone remained calm, but he looked a bit pissed off.
Good. “That was all Luci. He fucked around and now he’s finding out as the mortals like to say.
I guess it’s down to Seth now to try and persuade daddy to do the decent thing and let him go.
Now, if you don’t have any more pointless questions, I have far better places to be than here.
” The ridiculously bright flare of light as he disappeared left black blobs dancing on my retinas. Twat.
“I didn’t expect to hear from you for at least another day. Have you worked your way through the Karma Sutra already?” A sob broke from me at Phoebe’s cheeky comment, and I could feel her concern vibrating down the phone line. “What’s happened? Are you both okay? Do you need me to come?”
“I’m not okay and Seth’s not here. He didn’t come back, Phoebe.
” I swiped angrily at the tears that had started rolling down my cheeks.
This was not the time to be losing it. “And yes, I do need you here. Jed and Eli too. But not the others yet. Please.” I couldn’t deal with having to tell everyone what had happened yet.
“We’ll be there in five minutes tops.” The line went dead and Phoebe was as good as her word, arriving in less than three. By the time Eli had joined us I’d had a little cry all over Phoebe and had pulled myself together enough to be able to tell them what Gabriel had said.
“I was afraid this would happen,” Jed admitted.
“But Seth was convinced his father could be trusted.” I’d shared his concerns, but Seth hadn’t been willing to listen to my opinion either.
“And to be fair,” he continued, “it sounds like he was right, up to a point at least. If what Gabriel told you is true, Lucien hasn’t deliberately gone back on his word. ”
“The question is, what will he do now?” Phoebe said. “Will he sacrifice Seth to gain his own freedom, or will he admit his scheme has failed and let Seth go?”
A little smile played around Jed’s lips as he answered her.
“I wouldn’t write off the possibility of them managing to turn things around just yet.
I’ve known Seth a lot longer than the rest of you have and he’s nothing if not resourceful.
If I know my cousin, he’ll be viewing this as more of a setback than a defeat.
He’ll be mad as hell about the way things have gone, but I guarantee he’s already working on a way to salvage the situation. ”
“Well in that case, it looks like you’re stuck with a guardian upgrade for a bit longer,” Phoebe teased, “and it’s probably best we stick with the current story about why for now.
Zara, you promised Seth not to go into a decline and as hard as I know this must be for you, that still stands.
” Easy for her to say with her soul mate sitting right next to her.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I demanded incredulously. “Because it sounds like you’re saying we’re not going to do anything to try and get him back.”
“I don’t think there’s much any of us can do really,” Eli said.
“Except carry on exactly the way we have been. And hope that Jed’s right and Seth manages to sort this out from his end.
It’s not like we can go storming the Underworld to mount a rescue when we don’t even know where the Underworld is. ”
No. Gabriel had gone to great pains to make sure nobody had that vital piece of information.
“This is all my fault. My siren senses were screaming at me that he shouldn’t go.”
Eli gave me an exasperated look. “I’m guessing you told him that, Princess, probably several times, and he still went anyway?”
“I should have tried harder to convince him.”
“You could have tried,” Jed said with an unimpressed grunt, “but it wouldn’t have worked. I tried convincing him myself, but I didn’t have any more success than you did. It was just something he had to do.”
I knew he was right. Nero had said much the same thing too. Unfortunately, that didn’t make me feel any better.
“What are you going to do now, Zara? Do you want to come back to Avalon with us?” Phoebe asked. “You probably shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Solitude was exactly what I craved though.
When Gabriel had told me Seth wasn’t coming back, my immediate reaction had been to call an emergency meeting so we could brainstorm how to rescue him.
Now it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, I needed time alone to absorb what had happened and try to come to terms with it. If that was even possible.
“Thanks, but I’m not leaving the manor in case he comes back. What would he think if I hadn’t even waited one extra day for him?”
She gave me a pitying look, and I knew she was thinking the exact same thing I was refusing to let myself think. That from what Gabriel had said, that wasn’t going to be happening any time soon.
“How about if I send Tilly to you then?” she offered. “I’m sure she’d be happy to come and spend a few days with you.” Gods, no. That was the last thing I needed.
“I’ll be fine, really. I’m going to go and see Nero.”
She looked like she wanted to argue, but thankfully she didn’t, just telling me as they left to let her know if I changed my mind and Jed would come back and fetch me.
“Have you eaten anything today?” I jumped at the sound of Eli’s voice. He’d gone to do something in his office while I was saying goodbye to Phoebe and Jed, and I’d completely forgotten he was still here. “How about I rustle us up something and we can watch some mindless TV for a bit?”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry. You should get back to Rachel.”
“And leave you here on your own? I don’t think so, Princess.
Pizza or omelette?” I sighed in exasperation.
Eli’s need to feed everyone was usually endearing, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to appreciate it today.
“And don’t tell me you’ve eaten if all you’ve had today is a bowl of cereal,” he said sternly.
I didn’t even bother disputing that as he was looking straight at the dirty bowl I’d left in the sink, along with my coffee mug.
“I think an omelette,” he announced when I didn’t offer an opinion.
He was zipping around the kitchen at vampire speed, breaking eggs and chopping up vegetables, before I could tell him again that I wasn’t hungry, so I pulled a half full bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured some into a mug. That earned me a pause in the chopping and a raised eyebrow.
“Did you break all the glasses?”
“No. It just feels like that kind of a day,” I said with a shrug. “You want some?”
“Looks like you need it more than me.” He abandoned the food prep and came and sat down across the table from me. “Why don’t you come back and stay with me and Rach for a bit? Phoebe’s right you know, you shouldn’t be on your own.”
“I won’t be on my own,” I said, taking a slurp of wine so I wouldn’t have to look at him as I spoke.
“I’m going to see Nero.” I probably wasn’t, but I hadn’t quite made up my mind yet, so technically it wasn’t a lie.
I could tell he didn’t believe me from his little huff, so I added, “I’m a big girl, Eli.
Please let me deal with this my own way. ”
He frowned and looked like he was about to argue, then gave a little shake of his head as if he’d realised it was hopeless.
“Fine. I don’t like it, but you’re right.
I can’t tell you what to do. I’m not leaving until you’ve eaten something though.
” He got up and went back to his chopping, leaving me to splosh the rest of the wine into my mug.
By the time the omelette was plated up, I was making inroads on a fresh bottle and Eli grabbed a beer from the fridge, saying he might as well have something he could drink straight from the bottle if we were giving up on civilised things like glasses.
I picked at my food unenthusiastically at first, but it didn’t take long for me to realise how hungry I was and demolish everything on my plate.
“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist my omelette,” he said smugly. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel better now you’ve eaten. Or you could just say, ‘Thank you, Eli, you were right as usual’.”
“Thank you, Eli.” He looked at me expectantly, so I added, “What would I do without you?”
“Starve, probably,” he shot back without missing a beat, then his expression turned serious. “You don’t have to do this alone, Zara. Me, the others, we’re your family now, and we love you. And you can trust us to be there for you if only you’ll let us. Please don’t shut us out.”
Dammit. That was exactly what I was trying to do, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to let them in. It was because I didn’t trust myself not to break into a million pieces and I didn’t want the people I loved to have to witness that.
“Promise me you won’t do that to us, Zara.”
I saw the worry in his eyes and knew I had to give him something, or he’d refuse to leave me here alone.
“I promise I won’t. But right now, I have to be alone.
I just have to, Eli. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to shut you all out, or reject your support, but I need some space.
Some time alone to…” Grieve. That was the word I wanted to use but saying it out loud felt too much like admitting that maybe Seth was never coming back.