39. ZARA
ZARA
“I wasn’t sure if you’d come.” Morpheus sprang up from his chair as he saw me. “You look… different.”
I glanced down at my jeans and sweatshirt, then back at him. “Is something wrong with what I’m wearing? I can change if you want.” I wasn’t wearing anything pink and I hoped he wasn’t going to bitch about it and conjure up something ridiculous for me.
He hesitated, then shook his head. “No, it’s fine. It’s you that looks different. Not quite as miserable and reluctant to be here as I expected.”
I laughed. “You still haven’t quite got the hang of polite conversation have you?”
“There isn’t much chance to practice when your favourite apprentice decides to take a leave of absence,” he admitted.
“But I wouldn’t bother sugar coating it for you anyway.
I should probably warn you that tonight’s a bit of a special one.
It’s not really a dream message, it’s more of a recruitment process. ”
“Recruitment?”
“It would take too long to explain, it’s far easier to show you. Just stay back and keep quiet, okay? You’re only there to observe. Ready?” He held out his hand, and I felt the same little thrill of anticipation I always felt when we set off on one of our visits.
“Ready,” I agreed, slipping my hand into his and closing my eyes as he pulled me close.
“Here.” Nero handed me a glass filled with an amber liquid that wasn’t my usual tipple of Disaronno before taking a seat in the armchair opposite mine.
Sharing a nightcap in his study after a visit was a familiar routine now, and it struck me how much I’d missed it, even though it had only been a week.
“This isn’t honey wine is it?” I gave the drink a dubious look, and he laughed.
“I take it Zeus has played his favourite trick on you. It’s not nectar, it’s fae whisky. But you don’t have to drink it if you’d rather not.” I took a tentative sip and found it was much sweeter than I’d expected. “They blend it with blackberries. It’s a favourite of mine.”
“It’s good,” I admitted, taking a bigger sip. “Tonight was… very different. I hadn’t really thought about where your helpers came from before.”
“It doesn’t happen often, but from time to time the opportunity arises and I take it.”
The woman we’d visited tonight had been elderly, eighty at least, and I’d been shocked when I’d been able to see her soul hovering above her body as if it was just waiting for the right moment to depart.
Her physical body had continued to sleep through our visit, but her consciousness had been very much aware of our presence.
The conversation had been brief and to the point.
She knew she was about to die, and she’d been ready to move on to whatever came next. Until she’d heard Nero’s offer.
At the exact moment her body took its final breath, a new soul became one of Nero’s Angels.
It had been surreal, watching Nero hold a conversation with her while her family sat around her bed, totally unaware of what was happening and seeing only her physical body while her soul slipped away, escorted by one of Nero’s existing helpers to ‘find her a body and life that suits her’.
I tried not to think too much about what that might entail.
“So, why her?” I asked curiously. “Why pick her over any other person about to die?”
“Some souls just shine brighter than others. I can usually tell the ones that will accept my offer. The tricky part is getting to them at just the right time, so their soul can be bound to me before it moves on to whatever comes next – don’t bother asking,” he said as I opened my mouth to do just that.
“I can’t tell you, because I don’t know myself.
I’m not sure even Hades knows exactly how it works.
That system was already in place before we came on the scene, probably before the Watchers did too.
But I like to think the mortals’ belief in an afterlife isn’t unfounded. ”
“But if the system was already in place before the gods existed, how does Hades fit into all this? I thought he was in charge of the Afterlife.”
“He’s in charge of granting passage to the Afterlife.
And making sure the living don’t inadvertently pass through the gateway.
But as to whether he knows what happens after that, your guess is as good as mine.
He’s never said much about it. To be honest, it’s one of those things we’ve never really given much thought to.
It just is. The same with our existence.
None of us have ever questioned how or why we exist, any more than a dragonfly probably does.
We just do. But if what Gabriel told you about the gods being called into existence through the mortals’ desire to have something to believe in is true, then I’m guessing we all just slipped into the roles they created for us.
” He gave a huff that was somewhere between amusement and disgust. “And there we were thinking we were the ones pulling the strings.”
We sat in silence for a while as I mulled everything I’d seen tonight over in my head, until the whisky and the warmth of the fire had me nodding off in my chair and I knew I’d soon need to return to the body I’d left sleeping in my bed back at the manor.
But there was one last question I had to ask before I went home, or I’d be lying awake thinking about it all night.
“If Violet is going to be one of your helpers now, does that mean Sam met you the same way?”
“She did, yes, but she doesn’t remember that. And once Violet is settled into her new life, she won’t remember either. She’ll know me, but if you asked her how she met me, she wouldn’t be able to tell you. She’ll just know I’m the person she comes to when someone needs my help.”
“So will she be immortal now?”
He shook his head. “No. Her new body will age and die just like any other. But her soul is bound to me now. When her body releases her, she’ll have the choice of returning again or moving on. Most choose to return.”
“But what about that other soul, the one who came to meet her? He didn’t have a body.”
“Sometimes souls just choose not to pass on yet. They linger here, most often because they don’t feel ready to leave behind their loved ones but others, like William who you saw tonight, just feel a calling to remain and do good.
He doesn’t work with me as such, I suppose you could call him a free spirit, but he’s happy to help me out when I’m soul collecting and ease the way for my new Angels as you like to call them.
In fact, he was the one who suggested Violet might be a good fit for me. ”
“And William doesn’t want to be one of them? I would have thought having a body and a proper life would be a lot more comfortable than just floating around in the ether.”
“No. He’s quite happy with things the way they are.
You’d be surprised at just how many souls there are still hanging around the mortal plane.
He isn’t lonely if that’s what you’re thinking.
Eventually he’ll decide to move on. When he’s ready.
” I got the feeling that last bit was aimed at me rather than being about William.
“I’m glad I came tonight.” I said, suppressing a yawn. “I’m ready to stop moping and get back to work properly now, if that’s okay with you.”
“Well it’s about time,” he said, but I didn’t miss the way the corner of his mouth quirked up and the relieved expression he did his best to hide.
“You should probably give me seven nights a week now to make up for lost time. It’s not like you’ve got anything better to do. Or maybe… no, never mind.”
“Maybe what?” I asked curiously.
“I was just going to say, if you’re ever lonely rattling around that big house on your own, there’s plenty of room for you to stay here if you feel in need of company.”
I should have said no immediately, but he was right about it being lonely at the manor.
And he was rattling around here all alone, just the same as I was, so we’d be doing each other a favour.
I almost giggled at the thought of what Seth might have to say about it, but he wasn’t here to say it, so I had to do what was best for me.
“Can I think about it for a bit and let you know?” I asked. As much as I enjoyed his company, I was a little worried I might come to depend on him a bit too much if I moved in here.
And it wouldn’t do for me to be exchanging my emotional support vampire for an emotional support god.