52. ZARA
ZARA
“Seth? Are you here?” I sat up and looked around me in confusion. I’d closed my eyes lying on my bed at the manor and I’d just opened them again in exactly the same place. My heart sank. It hadn’t worked then. Except… if that was the case then where was my body?
“You made it.” Relief coursed through me at the sound of Seth’s voice coming from the doorway.
“I’d almost given up hope of it working.
Oh, you must be wondering why you’re still at the manor.
You’re not. This place is a perfect replica of our apartment.
Luci wanted me to feel at home here.” So it was Luci now?
“The only thing missing has been you. Until tonight that is.”
He’d been crossing the room as he spoke and now he pulled me up from the bed and into his arms, his mouth descending hungrily on mine. I forced myself not to respond until he drew back with a confused frown.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
I shrugged and took a step back from him.
“We don’t know how long this is going to last. We should talk.
Gabriel said you wanted to explain everything.
So explain.” I tried, and failed, to keep the anger out of my voice.
I’d promised myself I’d stay calm and hear him out, but seeing him here, living in a carbon copy of our apartment, and hearing him call his father Luci, was testing my resolve to the limit.
“You’re angry at me,” he said and I absolutely refused to let myself feel guilty at how devastated he sounded. “I suppose I should have expected that. But there are things you don’t understand—”
“Then make me understand,” I snapped. “Make me understand how you could choose this,” I swept my arm around the room, “over me.” So much for hearing him out before I got mad.
He sighed. “I’m not choosing it over you, Zara.
This isn’t forever. It’s something I have to do before I can come back to you.
There are thousands of people’s futures at stake in this realm, people with hopes and dreams who need my help to make them reality.
I can’t just say, ‘oh well, time’s up, I did my best’ and walk away. I won’t do that.”
“Like you walked away from me you mean?”
Hurt flashed across his face. “Do you think this has been easy for me, Zara? Do you really think I haven’t spent every minute of every day thinking about you?
You have no idea how hard I had to fight to convince Gabriel to bring me back to you that night.
But I had to see for myself that you were okay because I was going so fucking crazy worrying about you that I couldn’t focus on anything here.
Do you know how hard it was to leave you, to let you think it had all been a dream when I knew it had been so much more? ”
“And do you have any idea how it felt when I found out you’d really been there and you let me think it was a dream instead of me being your midnight booty call?” Oh, shit. I really shouldn’t have said that, but now I’d started I couldn’t seem to stop. “How could you lie to me like that?”
“I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t tell you it was a dream.” We were both shouting now.
“No, but you didn’t tell me it wasn’t one either. Did you? Every time I asked you if it was real you found a way to distract me.”
“I thought it was for the best.” And I thought I’d accepted that. But here we were.
“You should have told me. You could have spent that time telling me what was going on. Instead you…” my voice broke and I swiped angrily at the tears that were streaming down my face.
“Instead I made love to you the way I’d been longing to,” he finished for me, his voice softer now. He pulled me back into his arms and I couldn’t find the strength to push him away like I knew I should.
“The same way I’m longing to right now.” He let his hand trail down my spine to the curve of my behind so he could pull me tighter against his very obvious arousal.
“We can’t.” My voice trembled and I hated that I sounded so uncertain. “We need to talk.”
“Do we?” he murmured in my ear. “Or shall I just show you exactly how much I love you instead?”
“No, Seth! Stop trying to distract me again.” I pushed angrily at his chest when I realised what he was doing, and he released me with a sigh, holding his hands up in surrender.
“Alright. We’ll talk. What do you want me to say?”
“What do I want you to say?” I echoed incredulously. “I want you to tell me exactly what you’re doing here and what you expect to come of it.”
“What I’m doing is helping my father persuade his brothers that this realm is ready to join the other four.” He sat himself down on the edge of the bed and patted the space next to him. I ignored the invitation and leaned against the wall instead, my arms folded defensively across my chest.
“He’s built a civilised society here, Zara,” he continued once he realised I had no intention of joining him on the bed, “and they deserve to be given the same opportunities as all the other magical races are. The Underworld is an incredible place. Soon you’ll be able to come here and see it all for yourself.
” He sounded as if he actually liked it here.
“You seem to be conveniently forgetting the part where I’d be destroyed if I came here,” I said irritably but he just laughed.
“It’s not the realm that would destroy you, it’s the gateway.
Luci’s almost certain that you’d be able to pass through it unharmed anyway, because you carry my blood from our bonding, but that’s not a chance I’m willing to take.
Once the gateway is no longer needed though, we’ll be free to come and go as we please. ”
I’d never seen him looking so excited about something. “You’re really enjoying being here, aren’t you?” I said, hardly able to believe what I was hearing. “You’re not missing me at all.”
His face fell. “Of course I’m missing you.
” Just not enough to leave this place and come back to me.
“I’d love nothing more than for you to be here with me.
But this isn’t about me and what I want.
This is so much bigger than the two of us.
That prophecy may have started out as a drunken, half-baked scheme to create a replacement for Luci, but over time it’s become so much more than that.
It’s taken on a life of its own, evolved into something more complex, something destined.
The way it’s all coming together now, just when this realm is finally ready to fight for its freedom, it was fated to happen this way, Zara.
This has always been my true purpose. To be the Son of Two Realms and to bring both of those realms together. ”
One look at his face was enough to see that he really believed what he was saying. So where did that leave us?
“It leaves us in limbo at the moment,” he admitted when I voiced that question.
“But Gabriel isn’t our enemy. He’s offered to act as an envoy between this realm and the Watchers.
And you too of course. You can trust him, Zara.
He will keep you in the loop about what’s happening here and when the time is right he will deal with Michael. ”
“And what about visits? Will he agree to more visits?”
He closed his eyes as if he couldn’t bear to look at me while he broke my heart again.
“Not at the moment. Not while Michael’s still the one calling the shots.
But it won’t be for much longer, Zara. It can’t be.
” The anguish in those last three words finally tore down what little remained of my defences.
How could I keep punishing him for following what he clearly believed to be his destiny, however much it cost him?
Even if I still wasn’t entirely convinced he was right, he wouldn’t be the man I loved if he was able to put his own wishes ahead of the needs of an entire realm.
And this might be our last chance to be together for a very long time.
“Okay,” I whispered, taking a step closer and reaching out to cup his cheek in my palm. His eyes flew open as if I’d shot him, wide with shock.
“Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay. We’ve survived six months apart, I guess a bit longer isn’t going to kill us.
Even if it feels like it is sometimes. You’re supposed to kiss me now,” I added when he just sat there staring up at me like I was a winning lottery ticket and he couldn’t quite believe his numbers had all come up.
“Oh, I’m going to do a lot more than just kiss you.
” Gods, I’d missed that smoky sexy voice of his when he was turned on.
“But I suppose that’s as good a place to start as any.
” He tugged me down onto his lap and set about the task with enthusiasm, his lips leaving mine only long enough for him to start undressing me.
“Wait,” I whispered. “I know a better way.” One of the perks of dream walking is that you can wear whatever your imagination dreams up. Or doesn’t.
He gave a little hum of approval as the clothes I’d been wearing evaporated like mist in the sun. “Can I do that too?”
“Maybe. Why don’t you give it a go?”
He gave a little growl of frustration when nothing happened, then tugged his tee-shirt off the boring way before moving onto his sweatpants.
I giggled as I squirmed off his lap so I could tug them down his legs, and as soon as he was naked I scrambled back onto the bed and star fished in the middle.
“See anything you like?” I teased, then squealed as he rolled on top of me, his hard length pressing against me and leaving me in no doubt of the answer to that question.
The raw emotion I saw on his face as he looked down at me instantly dispelled any lingering fears I might have had about his commitment to me.
“I see everything that I love.”
I’d expected him to claim me with the same urgency he’d shown at our last meeting, but instead he seemed determined to take his time with me, dusting my face and neck with a trail of soft kisses before starting to slowly trace his way down my body.