Chapter 9 #3
“I was stolen,” I said. “The first Human I met was a young sailor who swore he wanted to be my friend. He even made me think he loved me, right before he slapped me in chains and threw me in the hold of his ship. The next time I saw light, I was being auctioned at a market for people. He sold me in order to buy his way into the Eventide Brigade. I didn’t know any better before I met him, but he showed me just how untrustworthy Humans are, especially pirates.
” I knelt to Reiven’s level, carefully controlling the pain and rage that rose like bile inside me.
I lowered my voice to a whisper, so that only he could hear.
“You are exactly like that man. Why don’t you shut your mouth and keep scrubbing? ”
He scowled in response, and I manipulated the soapy water in his bucket to splash all over him as I straightened up. Hatred flashed in those pools of darkness that were his eyes.
Ashkade cleared his throat. “I get why you wouldn’t want to trust Humans…but I hope you’ll eventually trust me. I’d like that.”
If Ash only knew how close I was to trusting him already, but he wasn’t a pirate. He was just a boy trying to do some good in the world. I gave him a smile.
A sudden, familiar clicking coming from the water over the starboard side of the ship made me gasp, and I dashed to the railing and leaned over to see.
A pod of dolphins leaped out of the water beside the Maiden of Blue, their gray hides glinting in the sunlight. Playful chirps brought back childhood memories of swimming beside dolphin calves, such free spirits and gentle companions for young Sirens.
“Hello,” I whispered. “Hello.”
I waved at them and chuckled at their antics, how they danced and zoomed about the surface of the water.
The urge to join them flooded my body. My heart squeezed with so much joy just watching them play and listening to them talk that I completely forgot about everything else.
Even the ship I stood on felt like nothing more than a dream.
The Humans to whom I had told my pathetic tale of misplaced trust didn’t exist anymore, not in that perfect, nostalgic moment.
It was just me, the wind in my hair, those dolphins arcing through the water, and the sparkle of the sun off the waves.
They noticed me and chirped louder. They didn’t speak the common language, but I understood their happy squeaks and tail splashes well enough.
“Sister? Oh, sister! Why are you on the floating wood, sister? Join us in the water. We can play together!”
Spirits, I wanted to. But Reiven and the damn Druinnic leash would never let me.
The happiness I felt seeing them washed away like a footprint in the sand.
Numbness spread from my fingertips, crawling its way down my body until I could feel absolutely nothing at all.
I craned my neck and stared up into the blinding sun, and the light blue sky dotted with fluffy clouds.
The sky was beautiful, but it wasn’t mine.
The dry air I breathed wasn’t mine. Nothing up here was mine.
The underwater world where I belonged was right there, beckoning me closer.
But all because of the Druinn who put this thing on me, I was chained to a pirate that refused to let me touch the water.
A single thought rose to the surface of my mind. It bubbled out of my mouth before I could stop it. “I just…want to go home.”
It was the only thing I allowed myself to desire ever since Vaetrik broke my trust and kidnapped me.
Most of the time, it felt like an angry chant, a spiteful phrase which kept me going when I wanted to give up on everything.
But now, that thought weakened me. As much as I wanted to keep my eyes on the sea and the dolphins, my legs surrendered to the crushing weight of hopelessness.
I crumpled to my knees on the weathered wood of the deck and wrapped my arms around myself.
My voice was pathetically weak. “What did I do…to deserve to be taken?” Heat built up behind my eyes, so achy and irritating they watered.
I can’t cry. Don’t cry.
The others on the deck behind me didn’t make a sound. Even the wind seemed to soften its salty gusts that normally filled the sails.
I fought hard to keep the burning itch out of my eyes, but fighting only strengthened it. No, I ordered myself. I tried to take a breath, but my inhale shook, and when I exhaled, it was more of a pathetic whimper. I covered my face with my hands.
Don’t let yourself be sad. Be enraged, Zephra. Humans like Vaetrik hurt you over and over, and then they laugh like you mean nothing. Hate them all. Don’t fucking cry.
My inner pep talk didn’t work. The hatred and distrust of Humans that surrounded the truth in my heart like an oyster shell had shattered into pieces, and I couldn’t put it back together.
All the sadness and despair I concealed with vicious, Human-hating bravado refused to be tamped down any longer. My heart ached.
I tried to take another breath, but when I went to exhale, it didn’t come out as a puff of air, or even another pathetic whimper.
It was a scream laced with all the anguish that lay inside me, buried beneath the hate.