Chapter 15
I blinked away the tears that blurred my vision.
Ashkade had wrapped his hands around the blade of my knife.
Blood trickled to the floor from the fresh slices in his palms. His grip shook, but he managed to keep a pitiful smile on his face as he pulled the tip of the dagger from where I had stabbed it into his shoulder.
Not deep, but a small splotch of blood still dyed his shirt and vest.
“I’m real sorry,” he whispered again, as if I hadn’t just stabbed him by accident. He must have jumped in the way of my attack on Va—on Reiven, who stood there, dumbfounded.
I dropped the knife. My head spun in circles, and I didn’t know how I made it there, but I blindly stumbled my way to the door.
All those stupid, warm tears made it nearly impossible to see.
I reached for the handle, desperate to get away from both of them, from my past with Vaetrik, from what I had just done.
“Zephra, wait, please!”
Was that truly Reiven’s voice? If it was, that was the first time he actually called me by my name.
“Leave me alone,” I sobbed. “I-I just—I can’t be here with you anymore!” I flung open the door and escaped into the hallway.
Ash’s voice reached me just before I left earshot, but he wasn’t talking to me.
“What’s wrong with you? Did you just wanna make her cry?”
Lyneca welcomed me into the galley without a question, and Calinia decided I would stay with her.
She led me to the bedroom attached to the galley and promptly left to give me space.
The moment I was alone, I dissolved into more tears, lying in a pathetic puddle on the cot.
I didn't even know why exactly the tears came so fast. Reiven's words?
Memories of Vaetrik? Guilt at stabbing Ashkade?
All of it blurred together in an inescapable maelstrom, old wounds bleeding into fresh ones.
I let out all the sadness and pain until I was numb.
The galley bedroom felt more like a box than anything, only large enough for the cot and a single crate. A lantern atop it flickered yellow light across the worn wooden walls. Shadows recoiled away, so I sat up and dully followed the movement with my eyes, hugging my knees to my chest.
Calinia returned like a silent, gentle breeze.
She perched on the cot behind me and wordlessly touched my shoulder, then my hair.
The pearls woven into my ponytail thudded onto the bed softly, and my ribbon floated to rest beside them like a whisper a moment later.
Her fingers worked through my hair, spurring waves of shivers up my scalp.
She separated my hair into three long plaits and wove them together.
“Would you like me to wound one or both of them?” Calinia asked lightly.
I started. “What? No, they're not that bad—”
“A joke to lighten the mood.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see her as serious as ever, lips in that slight downward curve.
She cocked one brow and deadpanned, “Now you may laugh.”
I'd never seen anyone try so hard and not at all at the same time.
All I managed was a soft chuckle, but the tension weighing on my shoulders and pinching my forehead actually lifted a bit.
“If you had offered to hurt them a month ago, I would've said yes, or I would've done it myself if I had the chance. But now…” I traced my finger along the quilt we sat on, focusing on every thread in the lumpy seams. My memory lingered on how Reiven and Ash made me laugh with their antics just that morning.
I almost smiled. “Unfortunately, I think I might like them.”
“Don’t do that to yourself, you poor thing,” Calinia groaned, drawing her legs up to sit cross-legged on the bed, her warmth close behind me.
She smelled like the moment before a summer storm, a fragrance that brought me comfort.
But it also made a piece of me long for that lightly smoky scent that spiced the air in Reiven’s cabin.
“Don’t you like Ashkade too? You saved his life.”
She went still. “He was a frightened, wounded boy who needed help.
I'm not heartless. But while he healed, I realized the affinity he had for time magic—magic only I should be able to manipulate.
Something tells me that even if he can't control it properly, he's meant for the power I possess.” Calinia shook herself and pulled one section of my hair so taut it almost gave me a headache.
“I know he just wanted to stop the war when he broke time, but he made a catastrophic mistake that cost the lives and freedom of my people.”
Finally, she loosened her death grip on my hair, tying my ribbon around the end to keep the thick braid in place.
“So…that's why you hate him?”
She heaved a sigh, as if it were an exhausting question. “I never said I hated him. In fact, he was my first—my only friend.” Her words were so similar to a certain Human teenager’s. Maybe her path, being chosen by the god of time, was a lonely one.
I faced her. My new braid, perfectly twisted together like a silken rope of midnight blue, slid over my shoulder. “Aren’t we friends?” Something warm bubbled up in my chest. It propelled my arms forward and around her before I could stop myself.
Her slim body went rigid, but only for a moment.
She wrapped her arms around me too, trembling just enough for me to notice.
“I hoped we might be,” she whispered. “I’d be so glad to have a friend again.
Perhaps after you return home, you can come visit my cottage in Terrakor.
I grow flowers, vegetables, and my own tea leaves.
We could sit in the sun, amongst the greenery in the garden, drinking tea and chatting.
Ashkade and I spent most of his recovery time like that… ”
It sounded like such a cherished memory. I could practically see the two of them smiling and talking in a lush vegetable garden drenched in the sun. Calinia was clearly so fond of Ash. It must be difficult for her to pretend she wasn’t.
“That sounds lovely.”
She cleared her throat and turned away, hastily rubbing her wrist against her misty eyes.
“Well, I mean, first we must ensure the Voidtome doesn’t fall into Shaddan or that pirate's hands, or who knows what they’ll destroy.
And don’t think for a second I’d entrust it to Ashkade, either.
You must return it to your people where it belongs.
That is the only way this should end. Now.
” Calinia jolted to her feet and went straight for the door.
“You may not mope in here alone any longer; come help Lyneca and I make supper.”
“Thank you for being there for me, Calinia.”
Her smile brightened the entire room. “You’re welcome to stay with me for as long as you need, for the rest of the journey if you’d like, my Siren friend.”
Weight still hung heavy on my heart. I looked longingly at the cot, wishing I could bury myself under the blankets to hide from the world a little longer.
But as she said, Calinia refused to let me steep myself in gloom.
Lyneca and her put me to work peeling root vegetables for the stew Calinia said was a Druinnic specialty.
The aromas of dried herbs, broth, and caramelizing onions thickened the air.
For the rest of the morning into the afternoon, I listened to the galley's music and let it hypnotize me.
A knife on a chopping board, a sizzling frying pan, a bubbling pot.
Vegetable peels hitting the table. Lyneca boisterously singing a sea shanty, something about drinking rum on the open ocean with nothing but the stars as a blanket and the wind in the sails as a companion.
I might have heard drunken snippets of it at Redsand Cove.
It was decidedly not as beautiful as Siren songs, but once I learned the tune, I hummed along quietly.
A magical vibration pulsed through my throat, barely there.
No forceful mental tug. Just a sensation that Reiven wanted me near, though quieter than every other time I'd felt that unnatural draw towards him.
Was the slight pull intentional on his part?
Or was it instinctive, like how the desire to see him that flooded through me felt?
Half-peeled potato in my hand forgotten, I touched the collar, but the urge disappeared within seconds.
Reiven saw what Vaetrik's presence did to me. He was right to point out that I needed to learn how to control my fear. Cowering wasn't an option anymore.
And running away from Reiven only made me look more pathetic…What’s wrong with me?
The soft thud of wood outside the galley door broke through a gap in Lyneca's shanty. She shared a glance with Calinia and continued to sing while the Druinn girl silently prowled for the door.
When she yanked it open, inside tumbled the Timebreaker himself, headfirst like he'd had his ear pressed against the door. He went pale, then red in a matter of seconds as he tried to fix his rumpled vest, staring at Calinia as if he feared she might break his neck with her mind.
Her golden eyes flashed. “You snooping little—”
“I wasn’t! I came to talk to—”
I didn’t allow him enough time to even finish speaking. Just seeing his young, innocent face filled me with so much emotion I had to fling myself at him, engulfing him in an embrace. “Ash, I’m so sorry!”
He melted and dropped his crutch to wrap his arms around me too.
His body felt so frail for a person who had gone through a war.
Why did such a weak boy want so desperately to heal the rifts between our angry peoples?
He attempted to end the war between Terrakor and Arvensis without further bloodshed.
He was even willing to venture into Hell to return the Voidtome to the Sirens and keep others—like me—from using it for ill.
All he wanted was peace. By the Spirits, I almost wanted to see that sparkling, harmonious future he dreamed of.
“There’s nothin’ for you to be sorry for.”