Chapter Twenty-Three
Twenty-Three
Ronan
Two Weeks Later
I didn’t know if he was just trying to upset me, or if he was actually considering looking for a new nanny, but either way, he clearly required intervention.
Aria had been gone for just shy of a month, and it was wearing on all of us.
We were back to trying to juggle our jobs and manage our children’s schedules, and that was nothing compared to the heartache of being apart from Aria and not having her bright, effervescent face around to brighten all of our lives.
The kids were downright depressed with her gone, and even the round robin of putting up Christmas decorations at one another’s homes had done little to lift their spirits.
Our homes were dressed with Christmas trees, lights, garlands, and presents, but our gloominess doused the cheer. We missed Aria more than any of us realised we were going to, and I still couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was my fault.
I entered Noah’s house just after he’d gotten the twins down for bed, and he was in his den working on a glass of scotch, with a nearly empty bottle sitting in front of him.
“Hey,” he greeted groggily, his sunken eyes and sullen expression glowing in the light of the den’s roaring fireplace.
I noticed as I got further into the room that the same profiles Noah had been sending me were fanned out on the table. I stormed over to them and gathered them up, and tossed them onto the flames. Noah shrugged.
“I have copies.”
“Why are you even looking at these?” I growled. “Replace Aria? Have you lost your mind?”
“Have you lost yours?” Noah said. “I want her back more than anything, but it’s been three weeks and she hasn’t so much as confirmed she’s alive. Fuck her. We’ll find someone else.”
“You don’t mean that,” I said to him.
“I know you love Aria, we all do. We can’t just get a new nanny. What would the kids think? What would the guys think? We can’t just forget her like she was never a part of our lives.”
“You think that’s what I want?” Noah said, his voice rising.
“I don’t want to forget her, but she’s not here, Ronan! She left. She left us, she left our kids. This is why we wanted a nanny in the first place, because we need one.”
“Put yourself in her shoes,” I retorted.
“Given what she’d just learned.”
“You told us all of that shit for the first time, and we’re still here.” He stood up. “What about you? Doesn’t it hurt you that she actually believes you’re capable of something so horrible?”
The truth was, that fact hadn’t left my brain for a moment.
“It does.” It haunted me to know that in the time Aria and I had spent together, I hadn’t successfully convinced her that I was a man of honour and integrity who would never harm someone, least of all her.
“But I just try and think about how I would feel to learn that someone I loved and trusted was embroiled in something so horrendous. Even if I hadn’t done it, it was still something big that I kept from her. She has every right to feel frustrated.”
“She’s doing exactly what all of our ex-wives and girlfriends did to us,” Noah said. “Shit gets hard and she’s gone!”
I had no idea Noah felt the way he did. Just a couple of weeks prior, he was leading the search party; suddenly, he felt so jaded.
Still, I knew that the situation with Aria was different, and I could feel in my heart that we hadn’t seen the last of our blond beauty.
I just had to find her. I just had to speak to her, heart-to-heart, and show her my true self, and I knew she would come back home.
“We can’t just replace her, Noah. That’s not what any of us want, you included,” I said.“What about the kids?” he asked, and it was like a jackhammer to my heart. I didn’t have an answer. I went quiet, and Noah settled back down into his armchair.
“Exactly.” He looked up at me, and his eyes were serious, yet full of emotion.
“I want Aria back, and maybe if she comes back, we can figure out what that means, but the kids need a nanny. They need a woman to care for them and be there for them, regardless. I will wait 24 hours. If we haven’t heard from Aria by tomorrow night, I’m going to start arranging interviews.
” I wanted to continue to argue with him, but I couldn’t. I understood where he was coming from.
The very reason we started looking for a nanny was because we couldn’t manage everything the children needed. So, I had my goal, and I just had to achieve it.
“24 hours,” I said.
Noah nodded, and I didn’t waste any more time. I left Noah’s place and got in my car, my heart racing as I came to realise I was going to have to unlock my past a little if I had any hope of meeting Noah’s deadline. Aria needed me, and she deserved the truth, by whatever means necessary.
I called Gabriel, with whom I’d left Finn, and asked him if he could keep him overnight and deal with him tomorrow, and after confirming that, I drove to a bank far outside of Dallas.
I kept my eyes peeled for anyone watching or keeping an eye on me, and then I went inside and accessed my safety deposit box.
In it were a few things that I’d kept from my former life.
Eva and I’s rings, Finn’s birth certificate, our old social security cards, and my case files from Eva’s death.
Among a few other trinkets was a phone in which I had all of my old contacts.
My absolute last resort, if there was no other option, friends, that I knew would help me if I found myself unable to complete a task on my own.
I grabbed the case files and secured the number of an old friend of mine named Travis.
He was a cohort of mine from when I was still an agent of the FBI, and he himself worked for the NSA.
Once I was free of the bank, I locked myself back in my car and called him with the Bluetooth speaker off and my phone volume very low.
“Hello?” Travis answered with a shaky voice.
I took a deep breath. “Hey, Trav.”
The phone was silent for a long time before Travis spoke again. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I know,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Adam?” Travis repeated. “They told me you were dead. You and Finn. You have got to be–” his voice trailed off. “I would hang up on you if I wasn’t so happy to hear your stupid, goddamn voice.”
“Nice to talk to you too, buddy,” I replied.
Despite only talking to one another in a professional capacity, Travis and I had gotten quite close. Whenever our paths crossed, we got along great, and we preferred to work on cases together.
We always threatened to take things outside the workplace and introduce our wives and children one day, but we never got around to it before I had to pack up and go.
For my safety and everyone else’s, I wasn’t told what would be provided to my old friends and co-workers as an explanation for my sudden departure, but I figured it may be something as definitive as death.
That was typically the only thing that would make people stop looking.
“God, fuck. Witness protection? Because of the stuff with Eva?” Travis asked.
“Yep,” I replied. “Travis, I swear–”
“Do not insult my intelligence by insinuating that I actually would have believed you did that,” he said. “I know you. I know you didn’t do that.”
It was a relief to hear that after everyone from my old life was so convinced I had. “Look, I hate to call you up after five years, and when you thought I was dead, but I really need a favour.”
“God, I hope you could feel me punch you through this fucking phone,” Travis barked. “What is it?”
“I need you to find someone,” I said.
“Is that it? Couldn’t you do that?” he responded.
“This is different. I have no idea where she’s gone or any clue to help. I’m talking invasion of privacy. I need you to find someone,” I repeated.
Travis groaned. “I don’t know, Adam. I could go to federal prison for that.”
“I’ll pay you. Any amount,” I said.
“Just name it.”
“It’s not about the money,” Travis responded.
“$3,000,” I offered.
“Adam, seriously, no amount of money is worth–”
“$5,000,” I cut in.
“Dude.”
“$10,000,” I said.
Travis hesitated. “Who is this that you are willing to pay that much money just to find them?”
“Someone very, very important to me. Please. I have to find her,” I begged. “I can wire the money to you right now.”
“I wouldn’t even take it if I didn’t need it to make sure my family is set up in case I get arrested for a fucking ghost,” Travis responded. “You can send it now?”
“Yes,” I replied quickly.
“Fine. I’ll send you the bank details, you send me the name,” Travis said.
“Thank you, Travis. Thank you so much,” I responded.
“So, do you die again, or what?” Travis asked.
“I’ll have to get back to you on that,” I said. “The main threat is gone, but I quite like my new life. We’ll have to see.”
Travis sighed. “Well, just, stay in touch… you dick.”
I laughed. “Let’s finally get that coffee soon,” I said, and the line went dead without another word.
I exchanged information with Travis, sent the money, and waited patiently for a response.
The moon was high in the sky, and I was just hoping that Travis could find the information needed in time.
I was starting to doze off in my car when I all of a sudden got a text. My heart jumped up into my throat.
‘Found your girl. She’s staying with her friend Khloe Dubois in Houston.
’ There was a photo of an address below it.
A few tears actually started to stream down my face.
I’d found her. I typed a gracious response, texted Gabriel to let him know I was bound for Houston and to alert the guys, and then set off.
I didn’t want to go home and pack bags; I barely wanted to stop to gas up my car. I just wanted to drive until I was holding Aria in my arms.
It was close to four hours from city to city, but I probably did it in two and a half.
It was a miracle that I didn’t get pulled over, but I couldn’t slow my pace.
My car was racing as fast as my heart, and neither would calm until I was in Houston at Khloe’s doorstep.
It was just after 10 o’clock at night when I was finally pulling up in front of the duplex that matched the address.
I clamoured out of my car and ran up to the door, knocking frantically despite the late hour.
There were a few sounds of footsteps and movement from the other side of the door, and then a voice called out. “Hello? Who’s there?”
“Hello, my name is Ronan Vale. I’m a friend of Aria’s. I know she’s here, and it is imperative that I speak with her, please,” I begged.
“I-I think you should go,” the voice called back. I assumed it was Khloe’s and was frightened because Aria had no doubt told her my story. “I don’t want to call the police.”
“You can call them,” I replied. “I’m running from nothing. I’m not the man Aria thinks I am.” I leaned against the door.
“Please, Aria, if you can hear me. Please, just let me explain. We’re sick without you, we haven’t gone a day without thinking about you. The story you were told was a lie, and if you just give me a few minutes, I can explain everything.” I rubbed the door as if it could reach through to Aria.
“You know me, Aria. You know I couldn’t do something like that. You know that in your heart. Please, just give me a chance to explain.”
I sat in silence for a while. I could see that the neighbour from the adjoining duplex had her head poked out the window and was looking down at me, but I didn’t care. I’d embarrass myself a million times over for the chance to speak with Aria. I’d do whatever I had to. I already had.
I heard the lock click, and my stomach flipped. The door moved aside, and there stood Aria, her hair in a bun, and her eyes weary and exhausted. She still looked stunning and it took everything in me not to grab her and pull her to me.
“Hi,” I whimpered. “You look wonderful.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” Aria said, and I could tell she still had a bit of hesitation.
“You opened this door because part of you believes me,” I said. “I’ll tell you the whole truth. Can I please?” Aria nodded, and I took a deep breath before beginning.
“My name is Adam Rowland. I was a Navy SEAL, and then I went into work with the FBI as an agent. I was married to a woman named Eva, Finn’s mother, and my long hours at work and absence from our home caused her to become clinically depressed.
After she had Finn, the feeling compounded, and in the end, she took her own life.
I came home to find her dead on my bed. Those pictures you saw.
” I noticed Aria’s stance relaxing a bit; some of the tension was fading.
Whether because she was starting to believe me, or just because our being in close proximity was giving her comfort, she was starting to relax. I held out the case files from Eva’s death to Aria.
“Take them. It’s all the reports, tests, and evidence from my ex’s death, proving that I did not kill her. I would never have; I loved her.” I started to reach out to take Aria’s hands, but she recoiled, and I pulled back. “Not nearly as much as I love you.”
“Ronan,” Aria murmured, and it was like a stake through the heart.
“Please, you have to come home. We cannot survive without you. Noah’s regressing to how he was when his wife left.
Gabriel’s temper is out of control. Liam has thrown himself into his work way more than he had before.
Ethan and Julian are starting to spend all of their time working out.
The kids are absolutely terrible and telling all of us how we’re nothing compared to you, and me… ” I stared deep into her eyes.
“I’m like a man who’s lost a limb. Please. We need you.”
Aria stood staring at me, her emotions pained for a different reason now. She clung the case files to her chest and nodded her head. I got hopeful at first, but then Aria stepped backwards into the duplex.
“I will think about it,” she said.
Another stake to the heart. I wanted her to believe me sight unseen, but I suppose that was a little too much to ask. I didn’t want to press her. The fact that she’d given me the time of day at all was a miracle, so I had to hope that my pleas had been enough.
“I understand,” I said.
I was certain my disappointment was prevalent as Aria stepped away and closed the door.
With it separating us, I had no choice but to wait and pray that the heart of our family would finally come home.