27. Liam
LIAM
I shouldn’t have walked out. I shouldn’t have left her while she was crying. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at her.
I should have stayed and talked everything through but I didn’t.
I was so damn pissed that I needed to leave before I said something that I was going to regret.
After everything that I told her, after telling her time and time again, she was more than just the baby’s mother, she still doesn’t believe me.
I don’t know how many other ways I can say the same words to finally get it through her head. That I want to be with her because of who she is, and not because she’s a mother of my child.
I know we’re not together. I know that we never made anything official after spending a whole damn month in the same bed.
It might be my own fault for not broaching the subject sooner, but it fucking hurts hearing the woman that owns your whole damn heart tell you that she doesn’t believe you.
It hurts that she hears all the proclamations about your feelings toward her, yet she still thinks that in four weeks she’ll mean nothing.
Chloe can never mean nothing, because she’s fucking everything to me. She’s more than just the mother of my child, she’s more than just a roommate, more than just a one night stand. She is so much fucking more to me and she doesn’t see it.
I’ve been falling in love with this woman for the past six months and she doesn’t see it.
This may be such a petty thing to get pissed off about, but I don’t give a shit anymore.
I want her but she doesn’t want me.
I should walk away, I should walk away. I should put everything that has happened between us behind me and walk away so we can concentrate on raising our daughter together.
That’s what I should do and maybe eventually I will be able to but for right now, the woman that I met eight months ago owns too much of my heart to walk away from her. Maybe with time. A lot of fucking time.
Right now, I’ll drink my body weight in alcohol and worry about the consequences tomorrow morning when I hit the ice.
“You want another one, Cap?” The bartender asks, knifing a knuckle against the bar.
“Yeah,” I say, giving him a small nod.
“Celebrating something?” he asks as he pours some whiskey into my tumbler.
I shake my head. “Not tonight.”
“I hear the knights are getting new owners soon.” The guy says, trying to make conversation.
Most nights I will go along with it but tonight I’m not feeling it.
“Yeah, it should be announced next week.” I say taking a long pull from my drink.
Thankfully someone calls him to the other side of the bar and he walks away.
At least that saves me from being an asshole to someone else.
I take another pull and savor the fermented grains scratching at my throat.
Since the team is officially in the playoffs, this is going to be the last drink I will be having until the last game is played.
This is our year. I know it is. We are the best that we have ever been and there is no doubt in our minds, in the mind of the fans, that this year the cup will be heading to Chicago.
I just have to make sure that all this stuff with Chloe stays off the ice and I will be golden.
Finishing up my drink, I pull out some cash to leave the bartender and I’m about to start heading out when someone sits on the bar stool next to me.
Who it is takes me by surprise. Never did I expect this guy to ever step foot in a dive bar.
“We got to stop meeting like this, Crawford?” Elliot Lane says, waving over the bartender.
“I didn’t take you as a dive bar type of guy.” I say getting situated in my seat again.
The guy gives me a shrug. “I had a meeting a block over, and really needed a drink to erase the mess that sitting in a room of morons did to me.”
“And it just so happens to be the very one that I was in?” I ask because it’s a huge ass coincidence that this guy would walk in while I was here.
“I guess so,” he says, right before giving the bartender his order.
The bartender then turns to me and asks if I want another and I don’t hesitate in saying yes. I’m already paying for it tomorrow, might as well make it worth it.
“Why so gloom, Crawford? I thought you would be at the top of the world right now.”
“Oh, yeah? Why is that?” I ask, taking a drink as soon as the bartender places a clean tumbler in front of me.
“I heard the Knights are going to the playoff. That should be reason enough right there.” he says, taking a drink from his own tumbler.
I let out a snort. “I thought that you were going to tell because my daughter is going to be born soon.” I say.
Soon. So very soon she is going to be here and we don’t even have name picked out or even a nursery ready to go.
We should get on that.
But I guess we are going to need two nurseries since Chloe is moving out. We need double of everything.
“Damn. Really?” Elliot turns slight, giving me an eyebrow raise.
I nod. “Yeah, really. She’s due to arrive at the end of May.”
“That’s so close,” he says, like he is shocked by the news.
“Yup. Very.”
“How did you and the mom meet?” He asks, taking another drink of his amber colored liquid.
Another snort leaves my mouth. “The ballet.”
That apparently really takes Elliot by surprise because he starts coughing. As if how I met Chloe is the most shocking thing ever.
“The one in September?” He asks for clarification.
“The one in September.” I confirmed.
It absolutely blows my mind how much someone’s life could change in eight months. It’s fucking insane.
“Well, congratulations man.” He says, tapping my tumbler with his.
“Thank you.” I say, taking another drink.
Elliot sends a nod in my direction. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem all that excited about becoming a dad.”
I start shaking my head before he even finished talking. “I am excited. Very excited. I can’t wait to meet her and hold her and just get to know her. It’s just that some things went down tonight that put me in a shit mood.”
Elliot may not be the best ear for this, but I need to talk to someone. I could call Christian and talk his ear off, but I feel like he’s too close to both me and Chloe that whatever he says is going to be biased one way or the other.
I don’t know Elliot all that well. Sure we’ve acted friendly at events and have hung out a time or two, but he’s more of an acquaintance than a friend. He might be the best person for this conversation.
“Let me guess, baby mama drama?” He says, finishing off his drink but waving off another.
“In a way, yeah.” I say, twirling my tumbler, the ice hitting the edges.
“She wants full custody?” The billionaire asks and I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“She wants to move out after the baby is born and doesn’t accept the fact that I want to be with her.” God, I sound like I just saw some kick a puppy or something.
“So you love her and want to be with her but she is putting every single wall up and not letting you get close to her.” He perfectly summarizes mine and Chloe’s situation.
“Yup, that’s pretty much it.” I say, finishing up my drink. I’m done with alcohol for the night.
“Sounds intense.”
“It is.”
For a solid minute, we both sit there, twirling empty glasses not saying a single word.
Elliot is actually the one that breaks the not so awkward silence.
“Want advice from someone that doesn’t do relationships and has only one good example of one in his life that is definitely not his parents?” Elliot states and it takes me a second to comprehend what the hell he just said.
I give him a nod. “I will take anything you want to give.”
“Don’t pressure her. Don’t push her to make a decision, especially one that has to do with being on the receiving end of heartbreak.
I’m sure that you told her how you feel, and that she has heard you, but if you met her in September and she is having your baby next month, she’s going through a lot.
She might not be ready now, but she might me eventually.
And when that time comes, she will come to you.
If that’s what she wants, she will come to you. You just have to let her.”
It's as if he dove deep into my brain and pulled this piece of advice out of the deepest crevice that I have.
That is what I’ve been telling myself all along but for some reason tonight, I decide to go rogue and forget it.
“You sure that you only have one good example of a relationship?” I ask because no way he just pulled that out of his ass.
“Yup, very sure. Did it help?” He asks, giving me a knowing look.
I let out a sigh. “Yeah, it helped.”
“Good. You should get out of here then and head to your lady. She might be worried.”
I give him a nod and slap a few bills on the counter and make my way out of the bar.
When I left the apartment earlier, the only things that I grabbed were my wallet and my phone. I didn’t remember to grab my keys, which came out to be a good thing. No way would I be able to drive after three whiskeys.
Walking back to my place helps me clear my head a bit.
What Elliot said, actually helped a lot and most of my anger from early has dissipated, the only thing that still pisses me off is Chloe moving out.
I don’t want her to move out. I look forward to walking through the door and seeing her beautiful smile. And add in the fact that I can see it almost every single day is just icing on the fucking cake.
If she were to stay, I would be okay with everything else.
But like Elliot said, I can’t force her.
I can’t force her to stay and live with me. And if she does decide to stay, it has to come from her and her alone.
No matter what though, her moving out still fucking stings.
I continue to make my trek back to the apartment, making it back into the building and up the elevator to the twentieth floor right before midnight.
Walking in, I half expected to see Chloe still in the living or possibly in the kitchen, but she’s in neither. She must have gone to her room.
Heading down the hallway, I think about knocking on her door like I have done countless times before but this time I think against it.
There's a chance that she is still mad. So giving her more time to calm down might be a good idea.
So instead of knocking, I continue to walk down the hallway and head into my room.
It doesn’t take long for me to get ready for bed and to turn off all the lights and lay in bed contemplating every little thing.
Around two in the morning, my bedroom door opens and Chloe comes in.
She doesn’t say a single thing as she closes the door behind her or even as she moves through the room or climbs onto the bed.
All month she has been in my bed, and after everything that has happened tonight, I thought that tonight was going to be different.
I’m glad that it isn’t because the second I feel her body pressed against mine, I relax and open up my arms for her.
Her head lands on my chest and one arm across my bare stomach, while the other rests against her baby bump.
Having lay here with me like this is as if nothing happened.
Eventually I break the silence. “Are you really going to move out?” I ask my voice low.
I hate the answer right away. “Yes.”
One simple word and it changes everything.
“Okay.” I say, feeling defeated.
“I’m sorry.” she says, a wetness lading against my chest.
She’s crying and I say the only thing that I can say.
“I’m sorry too.”