Chapter 1.15 #4
“I did not expect such a thing,” she murmured.
“That is why I was so shocked. I imagine what she said is true. Even you told me that your wish in this marriage is to have an heir. But I do not understand. People keep telling me that you married me to have an heir as if it were something horrible. I do not understand, and I almost fear to meet people as I am not sure what they will say. I am at a loss to know how I should react. I do not want to expose myself to criticism by improper behaviour in public, but I cannot accept being attacked.”
He stared at her, then kissed her hands, as pale and disturbed as before. His eyes were telling her he wished to say more, but he seemed unable to speak.
“Everything is my fault. I failed to protect you as I should. But I did not marry you only to provide me with an heir, Elizabeth. I hope you know that.”
She tried to swallow the sudden lump in her throat while he kissed her hands again.
“Lady Catherine sent me a very angry letter, and I replied to her in the deserved manner. I should have imagined that she might write to you directly. I shall solve this immediately. You will not be bothered again, I promise you. I will write her back this instant.”
He attempted to rise, but she held his hands. “William, wait—please sit.”
Darcy immediately obeyed, their hands still entwined.
“It is of no use to respond to Lady Catherine. Fighting with her would bring nothing but more anger. You may best protect me by telling me the entire truth. I can bear anything if I know where the danger might come from. You told me about your family and about your properties… Is there anything further you have kept from me?”
He slowly cupped her face with warm hands and with small kisses wiped the remaining tears from her lashes.
“I did not intend to keep them from you, but there are details I have not told you yet as I thought they would make you uncomfortable. But it seems that, again, I misjudged the best way of handling things.”
He invited her to sit in the armchair, and he took the seat opposite her near the small table by the window.
“First, I will tell you a few more things about my aunt. She is my mother’s sister, and my cousin Anne bears my mother’s name.
Anne is very amiable but shy and lonely.
She spends most of her time at Rosings, and she is rarely in company.
Her health seems precarious, but we are not sure whether this is so or just my aunt’s imagination. ”
“I am truly sorry for her…”
“Yes, I too. Robert and I have visited her every Easter for the last five years. Since we were infants, my aunt insisted that I should marry Anne, and she pretended that my mother had the same desire, but I never heard such expectations. I never intended to marry Anne, and I made myself clear without hurting their feelings. It is my fault that I was not more vigorous in expressing my opinion.”
“I understand… I can imagine her anger when she heard the news.”
“Going further to the other subject, I already told you about my properties. Pemberley was left to my father by his mother. All the other estates came from my grandfather Darcy’s line, and they are entailed on heirs male.
If either James or I do not provide such heirs, the other will inherit all the properties.
The only exception is Pemberley and our town houses, which both of us received from our mothers. ”
“But surely neither you nor James needs to worry about that, at this young age! It is quite ridiculous, really! And even if that were so, neither of you is in danger of poverty. You both have impressive means for a carefree life for you and your future families—even if you should have no heirs or only daughters. Why do people make this sound so dramatic?”
“I have no worry that I might be reduced to poverty. Pemberley is more than enough for my family. Both Lord Matlock and I are preoccupied by this because—it pains me to say it—my cousin James makes no effort to develop responsibility or wisdom. Taking care of so many properties is a daunting task. They need hard work, time, and engagement, as they are the source of income not only for the master but also for the tenants, their families, and many others. And James…A few months ago he lost a very important sum of money on cards and dice games, and he put up his present estate as a guaranty. I purchased his debts to save his property, but I expect it to happen again.”
“I imagine this is not an easy subject for you to speak of. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“It is not easy, but I am relieved that I spoke with you. I did not tell you all these details sooner because we had been married for just a few days, and I did not want you to feel forced or rushed in taking the next step. I trust everything will be fine at the right moment. I did not marry you to provide me an heir but because I knew you were the perfect choice for me. I only hope that someday you will consider me the perfect choice for you too and not regret your decision to accept my proposal.”
“I do not regret it,” she replied, emotion thrilling her voice and colouring her face. He took her hands in his on the table, while he responded with only a small smile.